Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month

Every year, RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, celebrates Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention month in April. Each year has its own theme and focus and this year, carrying over from last year, the focus is on sexual violence and harassment online. RAINN continues to advocate for those who are victims and wants to “[Build] Safe Online Spaces Together”. In creating these safe spaces, it is important to acknowledge what this kind of sexual violence involves. Online sexual abuse can be any type of harassment, exploitation or abuse that takes place through a screen. This can include:

  • Sending unwelcome messages about sex or hateful comments based on sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation
  • Sending unwanted requests for nude photos or videos
  • Performing sexual acts on webcam without the consent of everyone involved
  • Sharing private images or videos without the consent of everyone involved
  • Sharing porn in places where not everyone has consented to view it
  • Grooming children online to enable their sexual abuse on or offline

Online sexual violence does not necessarily have to occur entirely online. If part of the abuse takes place online, then it can fall into this category. As mentioned above, this also includes grooming children online to enable sexual violence against them in person. It is important to take this kind of sexual violence seriously. The viewpoint that this type of violence is not as harmful is incredibly dangerous. The same attitudes and beliefs that lead to sexual violence committed in person influence sexual violence online. It is incredibly important to take this kind of abuse seriously, especially when it comes to making victims feel heard. This abuse is just as serious and can even lead to physical violence. A safe online space is one that is inclusive, where everyone is treated with respect and dignity.

RAINN has initiatives throughout the year to help victims of rape, abuse, and incest, not just during Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. To learn more about RAINN, what they do throughout the year, and what they’re doing this month, visit their website www.rainn.org 

Essential Books for Anyone Going Through a Divorce

Going through a divorce is incredibly difficult and emotional. Luckily, lots of others have gone through the divorce process over time. Previously divorced people, as well as others like therapists and self-help gurus, help us set a blueprint as we go forward. Divorce Matters has pulled together a list of the essential books written by these divorce experts to read during your divorce, including self-help books, relationship books, divorce specific books, books for single parents, and even books to help your kids through the process!

Self Help

Wherever You Go There You Are

Self help book with meditation that focuses on unlocking the calming powers of the mind.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed: A book about a therapist and her own journey through therapy as she deals with crisis in her own life.

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

A former CEO writes about finding happiness and saving himself through self-love after his company failed.

The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

Julia Cameron guides her readers through a journey to find deeper connection to process and purpose through creativity.

Untamed

In this NYT bestseller, Glennon Doyle digs into how she abandoned what the world wanted for her and started living for herself through her tail of divorce and a new blended family!

You Might Die Tomorrow So Live Today

“Forget the idea that death is morbid and start using it as your greatest source of motivation”

Activate Your Joy

This book is a self-help guide to implement 12 missions to design a vision for your life.

Tiny Beautiful Things

An anonymous online columnist, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, is the person thousands turn to for advice. She groups her advice together into the novel Tiny Beautiful Things

The Gifts of Imperfection

Best selling author Brene Brown writes this book as an “invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, ‘My story matters because I matter.’ Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”

Relationships

All About Love: New Visions

bell hooks offers a new prospective on a society without care, compassion, and unity. She uses this novel to explore the concept of love and what it truly is.

The Road Less Traveled

Helps to explore the nature of loving relationships and leads us to a better life.

Divorce

Getting Past Your Breakup

A proven plan for overcoming the end of. romantic relationship, including strategies for healing, confidence building, and finding true love.

You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup

This book marks a collaboration between self-help expert Louise Hay and grief and loss expert David Kessler.  The to come together to discuss the emotions you feel after a breakup and how to begin to move on. 

Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child

Therapist, family expert, and mediator Isolina Ricci presents a guide to shared custody for parents and their children.

Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter, and Happier After Divorce

A roadmap for how to transform the trauma of divorce into a positive and life changing experience.

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Katherine Woodward Thomas pens this novel as a way to help others understand her groundbreaking “conscious uncoupling” method through five steps.

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing

Susan Anderson applies the five stages of grief to an entirely separate kind of grief: grieving a relationship.

The New Rules of Divorce

Jacqueline Newman’s book will help you decide whether you’re really ready for divorce, protecting your finances, find the right attorney, and heal and stay sane in the craziest time of your life.

Single Parents

The Kickass Single Mom

Emma Johnson’s novel comes from a wealth of experience, which she gained by start the weathlysinglemommy.com blog after her own divorce left her pregnant, broke, and a single mother to a toddler.

Who Will Hold Me? A Single Mother’s Memoir of Self-Love, Empowerment, and Freedom

A memoir that shows that a loving life is within reach, no matter your scenario.

But Dad!: A Survival Guide for Single Fathers of Tween and Teen Girls

The perfect book for dads who suddenly find themselves as the single fathers of growing girls

A Complete Guide for Single Dads: Everything You Need to Know About Raising Healthy, Happy Children On Your Own

A perfect guide for single dads raising children!

Kids

Kids

Two Homes

Dinosaurs Divorce

My Family’s Changing 

When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends

What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids

The Huge Bag of Worries

Cool! 

Can I Get Divorced If I Recently Became a U.S. Citizen?

The citizenship process is incredibly daunting. When you add the complication of divorce to that, it can become flat-out overwhelming. Our goal here is to make sure that you know the facts about what can and cannot happen to you. Having all of the information is helpful in settling some of the anxiety that comes from dealing with the legal system, in both divorce and citizenship cases.

Is there any difference in the divorce proceedings if I have recently become a U.S. citizen?

The short answer is no! The proceedings should continue exactly as they would if there were no citizenship concerns. If you have recently become a citizen, there are no concerns about the status of your citizenship. Because your citizenship has already been awarded and approved, it cannot be taken away from you. The same goes for permanent resident status. If your green card has already been approved, it will not be taken away. When you refile for your green card, the application contains no marriage questions and even allows you to change your name when filing the paperwork.

In short, if you have obtained the permanent resident status or U.S. citizenship, you have no reason to worry about your status when getting divorced. Your status cannot be revoked because of the divorce and your status cannot be used against you in your divorce case.

Expert Spotlight: Ric Taylor and Touchbase Counseling

At Divorce Matters, we know that an attorney is only one member of the team helping you get through your divorce. Your family and friends are, of course, part of your team, but so are other professionals in your life, including realtors, accountants, and therapists. As part of our “Ask the Experts” initiative, Divorce Matters has pulled together a list of professionals that we trust to help you get through your divorce and move forward in your life. We have decided to spotlight some of these amazing professionals and first up is Ric Taylor.

Ric Taylor is a therapist at Touchbase Counseling in Lone Tree, Colorado. Ric has developed a special niche working with people recovering from and going through divorce. The divorce process can bring up a variety of complex emotions and while the legal aspects of divorce can be difficult, the anxiety, shame, guilt, rage and other painful feelings can be the most overwhelming part. It can feel as though the bottom has dropped out of your personal life. Despite that feeling, life doesn’t stop and functional things like career, kids, school, and staying healthy have to keep going.

Ric Taylor can help you look into yourself and find ways to ease the burden of the pain you are feeling. Ric is especially adept at helping fathers move forward through divorce.

Ric and Touchbase Counseling can help in the following areas:

  • Depression
  • Substance and Behavioral Addictions
  • Reframing the difficulties
  • Grief and Loss
  • Parenting concerns, especially when it comes to co-parenting with an ex
  • Parent Child Conflict
  • Conflict Resolution and High Conflict Divorce

Ric offers a complimentary phone consult to every client so that you can make sure he’s the right fit for your needs. Call Touchbase Counseling at 720-924-1144 or learn more at their website: www.touchbasecounseling.com.

Co-Parenting During School Vacations

Co-parenting is difficult enough, but when it comes to school vacations, even more difficulties can arise. With spring break well on it’s way, now is a perfect time to discuss a few tips for co-parenting during your kids’ breaks from school!

 It’s Never Too Early

One of the most important parts of co-parenting is to communicate early and often! The best way to avoid arguments and confrontation between co-parents is to ensure that plans are communicated clearly and, just to be safe, multiple times. Planning in advance can also help with appropriate communication. If the plans are set in stone ahead of time, it leaves plenty of time for co-parents to discuss the plans and approve them!

Put it in the Parenting Plan

The best way to avoid conflict among co-parents is to leave everything up to the parenting plan! If your parenting plan defines which parent gets which vacations, it will be easy to decide where your kids’ go when they’re off school. Because the parenting plan is decided ahead of time, it also makes it easy to refer to when planning vacations. Ideally, parents can then plan their vacations to coincide with the school vacations they will be spending with their kids!

How to Split School Vacations

There are a few different ways that co-parents can split school vacation days amongst themselves. One way to do this is to give each parent an equal amount of holidays. For example, one parent would get Winter break and one would get Thanksgiving break! Another way to do it is to split each holiday exactly in half. If Winter break works out to be 14 days, then each parent would have 7 days of time with the kids. One more way to split holidays is to not split them at all! Co-parents and their children can spend time together over school breaks as opposed to splitting the breaks. Each family is different and what works best for one family will not work best for another. Do what works best for you, your co-parent, and your children!

Kids First

It is important to always remember that the kids come first. Everything should be done with the kids’ best interest at heart!

What Types of Law Does Divorce Matters Practice?

Just from our name, it’s easy to tell that we excel in divorce law, but what other kinds of cases can Divorce Matters handle? We are a law firm specializing in family law. Family law covers a wide variety of different cases including:

Adoption

Estate Planning

Divisions of Marital Property

An important part of the divorce process in Colorado is figuring out how to divide marital property. The procedure generally involves two steps. First, it must be determined what marital property is. Second, the marital property must be divided equitably

Spousal Maintenance

In Colorado, neither spouse has an automatic right to maintenance. The court may award maintenance only if it finds that the spouse seeking maintenance lacks sufficient property to meet their reasonable needs and, in addition, is either unable to support themselves through appropriate employment or should not be required to seek employment because of child care responsibilities. Divorce Matters has lots of experience in Spousal Maintenance negotiations and our attorneys are the perfect choice to help you!

Child Custody

When children are involved, the divorce process doesn’t end once the final paperwork is filed. With children come often contentious and painful negotiations about and modification of parental rights, parenting time, and custody. Our team has deep experience dealing with child custody and parental rights issues and we believe it is our duty and an imperative to help couples address custody and rights issues in ways that reduce the impact of divorce and protect children in the process.

Child Support

In Colorado, child support is based on strict guidelines dictated by state laws and statutes. The issue of child support is separate and distinct from the issue of parenting time, and child support payments may not be conditioned upon parenting time. Due to these strict laws, it is important to have guidance from an expert attorney throughout the process.

Post Decree Modifications

Have your circumstances changed since your divorce? Have you lost your job? Has your ex-spouse received a salary increase? Did your ex-spouse fail to disclose financial matters during the dissolution of marriage? Once your divorce is finalized, fortunately, not everything in your original separation agreement or parenting plan is set in stone. Courts recognize that circumstances change, and, sometimes, spouses hide income or assets during the divorce process. Depending on the exact circumstances of your case, you may have a variety of options post-decree. In the following sections, we explore your options in modifying maintenance, child support, parenting time, custody, and decision-making, as well as how you can reopen your property division.

Mediation and Arbitration

Mediation and arbitration are perfect options for anyone going through a divorce. Both options allow the partners to take more control in the divorce, as well as keep the process out of court. Not only does Divorce Matters represent clients through mediation and arbitration, but we also have a mediator on staff!

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence happens to people in all classes, statuses, and ranks in life, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, education, profession, or socioeconomic status. The unfortunate reality is that one in four women in the U.S. will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, resulting in an estimated 1.3 million women becoming victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

Contempt of Court

After having gone through a divorce or once you have some orders from the court, you may at some point find yourself on either end of a contempt of court action if one of the parties is not complying with the orders. If you find yourself on either end of a contempt action, Divorce Matters is here to help!

Unbundled Legal Services

Unbundled legal services are the perfect solution for anyone not ready to jump into full-scale representation. With unbundled services, you can hire an attorney at their hourly rate to help you with specific aspects of your legal troubles, like filing paperwork or gathering documents!

Common-Law Marriage

The state of Colorado allows couples to enter into common law marriage. However, the parameters of common law marriage can be hazy and difficult to understand, just like common law divorce

Appeals

If your case falls under family law, we can help with your appeal!

Prenuptial Agreements

While there are a million things to plan when a couple decides to marry, often the most difficult to discuss with your future partner is the possible need for a prenuptial agreement. While this subject is not the most romantic or exciting part of wedding planning, a couple contemplating marriage in Colorado may need to consider entering into a prenuptial agreement, or a contract before marriage.

Military Divorce

To thank our Military service members, we even offer 10% off of legal fees! This discount is offered to all active and retired service members, veterans, and military spouses.

Thomas Legal Firm

While Divorce Matters only deals in family law, we do have a sister law firm that offers other services. Thomas Law Firm deals with Criminal matters as well as Civil Law matters, including general litigation, civil rights, workers’ compensation, and business defense litigation.

Navigating Your First Holiday Post-Divorce

Navigating your first holiday season after divorce can be stressful, especially if you and your ex share children. We have pulled together some tips for you to survive the holiday season, whether you have your kids for the holidays or not.  

If You Get to Spend the Holiday with Your Kids…  
  1. See the Holiday as a New Beginning: This is the beginning of a new chapter in you and your children’s lives, so treat it as such! Create new traditions for just you and kids to enjoy and make sure to keep the old traditions as well. The kids will enjoy the comfort of the old traditions and the excitement of the new ones!  
  2. Spend Extra Time with Your Kids: Make sure that your kids know they come first! Spend as much time as you can as a family over the holidays and enjoy the time you all have together.  
  3. Remember to Include Your Ex (Just a Little): Allow your children to talk to and about your ex over the holiday, even if you would prefer not to. It allows the children to see you as a unit and keeps both parents involved in their children’s lives, which is the best thing for the children.  
  4. Consider Celebrating the Holidays Together: This is not a feasible option for everyone. However, if you and your ex have been navigating co-parenting successfully this is a great opportunity to put the kids first and celebrate together.  

 

If You Don’t Get to Spend the Holiday with Your Kids…  
  1. Don’t Isolate Yourself: Be sure to surround yourself with love if you are without your children this year. It is important to enjoy the holiday with your friends and family and while it may be difficult to imagine the holiday without your kids, it is in your best interest to enjoy yourself and your time with family!  
  2. Keep Busy: Try not to focus on the negatives. The first holiday as a divorced couple can be difficult, but make sure to keep busy with activities you enjoy and people you love. 
  3. Take Care of Yourself: Allow yourself to enjoy the joy of the season and make sure to take care of yourself through the holidays. This means something different for everyone, but it is important to take “self-care” time whenever you can.  

Divorce Matters has a plethora of resources to help you navigate the holidays through divorce. Check out some of these resources below:

Surviving Divorce During the Holidays

Coping with Divorce During the Holidays

How to Handle the Holiday with Kids After Your Divorce

Surviving that First Post Holiday Divorce 

Holiday Gift Buying: Are you and your co-parent on the same page?

We Are a Best Lawyers “2022 Best Law Firm”!

Best Law Firm of the Year

Best Lawyers has a new award to honor law firms for their excellence, based on country and practice area. The award is based on various factors, including feedback from other lawyers, the size of a firm and the area that they cover, and research of the firm’s overall scope and area of practice.  

The Best Lawyers Methodology

The Best Lawyers methodology is meant to capture the consensus of leading lawyers about the abilities of their colleagues in the same geographical and legal practice area. The Best Lawyers survey is designed for attorneys to be able to give meaningful and substantial evaluations of quality legal services. Best Lawyers is purely peer review. All candidates are also double-checked through the bar association to make sure that they are in good standing with their local bar. 

Divorce Matters

We are so grateful to Best Lawyers and to all of the attorneys in our area for awarding us a “Best Law Firm 2022” and we are pleased that we continue to meet our goal of providing excellent legal services for each client that walks through our door. Our team at Divorce Matters has helped thousands of families across Colorado move past their divorce and on to a fresh start. Each divorce attorney at our firm is a part of a team with more than 100 years of combined legal experience, providing you with excellence in legal practice. We are committed to being strong, but compassionate, advocates for you. You can learn more about each of our amazing attorneys here.

Schedule an Initial Consultation

To schedule a consultation, visit our website!

Are Same-Sex Divorces Handled the Same As Heterosexual Divorces?

With tides having turned in the struggle for LGBTQ+ marriage rights over the last decade, often questions about whether there are any differences when it comes to marriage for same-sex couples arise. Are these marriages the same as heterosexual marriages? And what about the divorces?

How is same-sex divorce different from a divorce between a heterosexual couple?

Because same-sex marriage is legal in Colorado there is virtually no difference between same-sex divorce and heterosexual divorce. This means that you can either be a petitioner and respondent or petitioner and co-petitioner. After that, the divorce will proceed as a heterosexual divorce would.

How will child support and custody factor into a same-sex divorce?

Because many same-sex couples have children, this is a question that is often at the forefront of the couples’ minds. However, the court will proceed as they would for any divorce. Regardless of whether or not the child is biologically yours, or adopted by one or both parents, the court will determine parenting time based on the best interests of the child. If both parents are adoptive parents, they are both treated as if they are legal parents to the children. This is the same if one party is the biological parent and one party is an adoptive parent.

Additionally, child support will be calculated using the same calculation as in any other child support situation. If you’re curious what child support might look like in your particular set of circumstances, check out our calculator.

If you are interested in common law marriage divorce or divorce for LGBTQIA+ couples, you can learn more here. You can also find more materials discussing same-sex marriage on our website.

What If My Child Does Not Want to Visit My Ex?

In the process of a divorce, the court will dictate a parenting plan. This plan outlines who can make decisions for your children, how often they visit which parent and when, and what each parent is responsible for. While this is helpful in most situations, when your child does not want to see your ex, it can be heartbreaking to follow your court mandated parenting plan. So what happens if your child does not want to visit your ex?

According to Colorado law, you do not have to force your child to visit your ex, if they do not want to. The only thing required of you by the courts is to promote your child engaging in the agreed upon parenting schedule. All this means is that you have to encourage your child to engage with their other parent. Additionally, you need to be able to truthfully tell a judge that you have promoted your child engaging in their time with their other parent. As long as you are able to do that, you do not have to force your child to do anything they do not want to do. To learn more about this, watch last week’s Ask an Attorney with David Kalisek. To schedule a consultation with David, or any of our other amazing attorneys, visit our website.