The emotional rollercoaster ride of divorce does not end with the signing of documents. The after-effects can be just as traumatic as the divorce itself, and one of the most tense times can be when your ex starts seeing someone else. The troubles are only magnified when children are involved, especially when your ex’s new partner is going to become a big part of the childrens’ lives.
Having a new authority figure can be difficult for children to deal with. Sometimes the kids will hate the new person; other times, the kids could like him or her. Both sides present unique emotional challenges, so here are a few tips to help your children when a new boyfriend or girlfriend enters the picture.
The Kids Like Him/Her!
If the kids get along with the new partner, you can at least rest assured that the kids are not miserable while with your ex. But the new partner might interfere with your own ability to parent; for example, perhaps the new partner allows your children to do something you don’t agree with, like drinking soda or swimming without supervision. In these situations, it is best to present yourself as a positive person. Never speak ill of the new partner in front of the children. If you have real concerns, the person to speak to is your ex; after all, the kids are his responsibility, too.
You might also consider getting to know this new partner. Having an amicable relationship with him or her can allow you to judge personally whether your children are going to have problems.
The Kids Hate Him/Her!
Unfortunately, a new partner can really upset children. They might feel like your ex does not spend enough time with them, or maybe that the new partner is mean. If the partner has his or her own children, your kids might not get along with them. Again, the person to bring up your concerns with is your ex. Keep the conversation focused on what is best for the children, and if the childrens’ issues with the new partner are serious enough to present danger to the kids, whether emotional or physical, you might consider speaking with your family law attorney.
Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys