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How Do I Deal with a Vindictive Ex?

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Woman removing wedding ring

Going through a divorce is hard enough as it is, but when your spouse becomes vindictive, the process automatically becomes ten times harder. Vindictiveness can include all kinds of things, like removing your name from bank accounts, alienating the kids, making unfounded accusations, and even making unnecessary request of the court just to make your life a little harder. It can be hard to know the best way to deal with your vindictive ex, but in the end it’s pretty simple.

The Best Reaction is No Reaction

It can be hard not to react when it feels like your ex is trying to knock you down, but it truly is the best reaction in this scenario for a couple of reasons. You’ll save your own emotional energy if you aren’t arguing and fighting over everything your ex does and, if kids are involved, it will stop the kids from seeing the fighting.

Reduce Direct Interaction

Try to interact with your ex as little as possible. Once attorneys are involved, this should be pretty easy, as all communication can go through attorneys. If your ex continues to seek out direct interaction, you can always speak to your attorney about getting a protection order for your safety.

Record Interactions

With direct interaction limited, most communication will likely be digitally. Be sure to save those messages and emails, just in case they might prove useful in court.

Set Boundaries

This is the most important part! Your mental health can take a turn for the worse when dealing with a divorce, a vindictive ex, and every day life. Make sure to set boundaries on what you are and are not willing to do and deal with as you continue through the divorce process. Try not to compromise your own boundaries and don’t be afraid to speak to a therapist to help you out!

Dealing with a vindictive ex is incredibly time consuming and emotional! Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Your attorney and the rest of your “divorce team” will be your saving grace!