If the thought of divorce has crossed your mind or even if your spouse has asked you for a divorce, one of the first questions you might ask is if the marriage is salvageable. Divorce is a huge life change, and opens up dozens of other questions ”“ what changed? What will happen to the family? Can you support yourself on your own? Who gets the house? Who gets custody of the kids?
Asking yourself if the marriage is worth saving is the first consideration you should make. If the answer is yes, none of the other questions matter ”“ your focus should shift from the worries of a future divorce to actions that can help restore your marriage.
How to Save a Marriage
One of the best ways to figure out whether your marriage is worth saving is by seeking support systems amongst your immediate social circle. Perhaps you have a close group of friends that you regularly see, or you are active in a religious community. Speaking to your friends, family, fellow congregants or pastors can help you see your marital problems from an outside perspective. If you are worried that your immediate social circle might feel conflicted about your divorce, or that they might choose sides, consider speaking to a professional marriage counselor.
But in the end, your problems are between you and your spouse, and the best way to solve them is speaking with one another. When doing so, try to avoid labels ”“ calling each other crazy, or neurotic, or insensitive only serves to frustrate the accused party.
Recognize your spouse’s problems. Often one spouse will dismiss the spouse’s arguments entirely, saying “that’s not a problem” or “that’s your problem.” If you love your spouse, then you should listen. Even if the problems are minor ”“ especially if they are minor ”“ you should be willing to work with your spouse.
Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys
