How to Divorce Later in Life
Divorce is not only for the young””and its popularity for older Americans is growing. According to statistics compiled by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, divorce after age 50 is twice as common today as it was in 1990, and divorce for those 65 or older is even more common. If you are planning on divorcing later in life, you should follow these tips.
Remain Sensitive to How the Divorce Affects Your Children
Couples sometimes stay together until their children graduate high school or college, but nothing magical happens at 18 or 22 that makes divorce easy for your children to accept. Even older children might struggle emotionally with the separation. It is simply a fact that our marriages serve as role models for our children and grandchildren, and when the model marriage blows up, you can expect your children to think they are staring into a crystal ball.
Remember to avoid asking your children to be mentors, therapists, or mediators during the divorce process. Children, even adult children, should not be asked to pick sides. For that reason, be careful about what reasons you give for divorcing. Your children do not need to know every detail of what you find disappointing in your spouse.
Talk to Someone about Your Emotions
One of the benefits of being older is less sensitivity to what other people think. Young married couples might avoid therapy because of the stigma that still attaches to talking with a “shrink.” However, you might be surprised at how deeply the divorce affects you. To work through your emotions, schedule therapy, individually or as a couple.
Among the most powerful emotions is a fear of being alone. Of course, by divorcing, you open up to the possibility of meeting someone new. You might also discover a hidden reservoir of independence that makes being alone past 50 an exciting experience.
Realize Your Ex Will Remain Part of Your Life
Young people without children might be able to split and never see each other again, but it is less likely for older couples who have been married for decades. If you have children and grandchildren, you will see your ex-spouse at family holidays and events. Even if you are childless, you probably have the same friends and belong to the same organizations. It is inevitable that you will run into your ex at some point.
Speak with an Aurora, Colorado Divorce Lawyer
In addition to the emotional aspects, divorce carries legal ramifications that you should be aware of. At Divorce Matters, we have handled countless “gray” divorces, and we are here to assist you, too. Please call us to schedule your free consultation, 720-580-6745.