Divorce is an emotional time. Although some couples are exhausted and welcome the divorce, others feel powerful emotions, including disappointment and anger. It is very easy to lose your objectivity, especially if your spouse has a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
As seasoned divorce lawyers in Colorado, we understand the importance of objectivity. When people are ruled by their emotions, they often try to “strike back” at their spouse or fight every little issue trying to “win” the divorce. Emotional spouses get caught up in divorces that never seem to end and that frequently leave them more bitter than they were when they started.
To remain objective, follow the tips below for avoiding emotional decisions during divorce in Colorado. In addition, you should meet with a divorce lawyer, who can act as a sounding board during this difficult time.
Find an Objective Friend to Bounce Ideas Off
There is nothing more refreshing than the perspective of another person. This should not be someone too close to you, like your mother, who might have always hated your spouse. Instead, choose a friend or a sibling who does not have strong feelings about your mate.
Of course, the person you choose needs to be someone you can trust and someone who truly wants to listen to what is going on. A work acquaintance, for example, might be overwhelmed by all the personal details you are sharing. And hesitate before choosing someone who is also friends with your spouse.
In mediation, a neutral person listens to each side describe a dispute. The mediator isn’t a judge; however, he or she can often help couples find areas of agreement. A good mediator can also help each side truly see what issues are in dispute and can propose creative ways to work around the issue.
Mediators don’t decide a winner and loser, like judges do. But they can often see things that people who are mired in their emotions cannot.
Lean on Your Lawyer
Your lawyer is your advocate. But a lawyer is also a professional who realizes that the best advocacy needs to be based on objective analysis of the facts and law. If your lawyer is telling you that your chances of getting 100% of the marital property are close to zero, you should believe what they tell you.
A key feature of any divorce is trying to reach a settlement. This often involves “horse trading”—giving up something you want in order to get something else. In our experience, emotional clients who lack objectivity want to give up nothing, which is simply unrealistic. Even at trial, few people get everything they request.
An objective lawyer will also advise you of when to fight and won’t settle just for the sake of settling. For example, if your spouse is abusive, then there is little reason to agree to shared parenting time just to avoid going to court.
Speak with a lawyer at Divorce Matters today. We can take an objective look at your case and advise you about what you will likely walk away from your marriage with.