You try and try, but the words just can’t come out. It’s hard to say those four awful words: “I want a divorce.” Even if you want one so bad that it hurts, it can still be difficult to tell your spouse that it’s over. The words must come out, though ”“ so here’s how you do it.
- Timing is key. There is no point dragging out the process; it only prolongs the suffering. If you know that you want a divorce, be upfront with it as soon as you can bear it. Pick a time when you will be calm, unstressed and able to talk it over with your spouse.
- Be cordial, reasonable and direct. It is normal for emotions to go a little overboard during this time, but you must stay level-headed. Try not to blame your spouse or point out faults. Focus on yourself and your feelings ”“ “I” statements are always better than “you” statements.
- Be serious. Don’t use divorce as a tool to manipulate or threaten your spouse. That word can ruin a potentially savable marriage. If you are going to say it, be absolutely sure, and whatever you do, don’t say it during a fight or in front of the kids.
- If safety is a concern, have someone there with you. A public declaration of divorce might not be ideal, but could be necessary. A therapist is a good option as well. If a divorce is going to be contentious, you should also look into divorce mediation once you’ve decided that divorce is the only option.
Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys