We all have heard of narcissists and some of us have probably dealt with one at some time or another. Unfortunately, some of us may be married to one, or maybe in the process of divorcing one.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. Narcissists are vain and think of themselves very highly. They are callous and do not care about the feelings of others. They are concerned primarily about themselves. They have a need for constant admiration as if they are a celebrity. They also feel entitled to everything and cannot handle criticism well.
So when you divorce the narcissist, be prepared to see your spouse portray himself or herself at the victim and you as the most horrible person in the world. While this portrayal will likely make you extremely upset, the worst thing you can do is react emotionally. Why? Because narcissists don’t care about the feelings of others. You’re just making things worse for yourself.
A narcissist will try to take the divorce all the way to court to let a judge decide. This seems like a poor strategy, but in the eyes of the narcissist, it’s better to have an unfavorable outcome when someone else has the control than to give up control unwillingly. This may not make sense at all, but that’s how the mind of a narcissist works.
So what can you do to avoid your spouse’s drama and get your divorce finalized quickly? Here are some suggestions:
- Let your lawyer know about your narcissistic spouse. Most lawyers have experience dealing with this type of person, but if not, find someone who is. You need to have the right strategy.
- Establish goals.What do you want to accomplish in the end? Determine what battles you want to fight, because some are small and not worth fighting.
- Listen and ask questions. Don’t have preconceived ideas. Learn more about your spouse’s point of view and set reasonable expectations.
- Document everything. Your spouse will tell lies. You can negate these lies by having receipts and other documents to back up your claims.
- Be objective. Play devil’s advocate. What arguments will your spouse use against you to make you look like the bad guy? Think ahead so your lawyer can help you avoid hurting your case.
- Be reasonable. Your spouse wants you to enrage you. Don’t let him or her do it. Don’t think with your feelings. Use law and facts to create an argument that is logical and reasonable.
Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney Today
Being married to a narcissist can be frustrating, but divorcing one can be even worse. Your spouse will try to manipulate you and refuse to settle outside of court. He or she will make your divorce a nightmare. Get help by contacting the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We can help create an agreement that will allow you to settle outside of court without the drama. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.