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What to Do When You Kid Chooses Your Ex

Divorce is full of heartbreak and stress, especially when kids are involved. But even when a divorce is long since passed, there are still some words that can shatter a parent’s world. Perhaps one of the worst things a parent can hear from his or her child is that the child wants to move in with the other parent.

This usually happens during adolescence. The kid always has reasons ”“ maybe they have more friends over at Dad’s house, or maybe Mom has more money. It could be a simple matter of “the grass is always greener” syndrome. No matter the reason, those words can lead to feelings of rejection and abandonment. They can make a parent question what they did wrong as a parent, or why the kid prefers to be at the other house.

If your kid has expressed a desire to move in with the other parent, try not to let your emotions get the best of you.

  • As with any matter involving separation or divorce, do not use this as an opportunity to bash your ex. Your child should never be put into a position where they have to choose sides, and badmouthing your ex can actually paint you in a negative light.
  • Discuss changes in visitation (parenting time, as we call it in Colorado) with your attorney. If parental rights have already been established in court, you will have to reconsider the current parenting arrangement.
  • As heartbreaking as it might be for you, respect your child’s decisions. Your job as a parent is to provide a supportive and positive environment for your child, even if that means letting go.
  • These days, it is incredibly easy to remain in meaningful contact with your child, even if they are far away. Apps like Skype and Facetime can allow you to chat with your child face to face, even from halfway across the world. Call often and make an effort to stick to your visitation. Your child still needs you, even if you are not the primary custodian.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys