Can I Empty My 401(k) to Protect It During Divorce?

If you have a substantial amount of money in a retirement account, it is natural to want to protect it in the event of a divorce. You might consider draining your account in order to keep it for yourself, but this is a bad idea that will almost always backfire. Here’s why.

In Colorado, property is divided equitably upon divorce. This is to ensure that neither party is left out in the cold financially. And when divorce is filed for, or when you are served divorce papers, there is an automatic injunction put into place that prevents you from taking drastic actions such as draining your accounts to hide assets. Hidden assets are a big no-no in divorce, because there is almost always a paper trail, and your spouse’s attorney is going to find it. This could have a negative impact on your eventual outcome in your property settlement.

What if My Divorce Hasn’t Been Filed Yet?

Even then, you still should not pull out your retirement funds. If you are entertaining the idea of hiding assets, chances are your spouse would probably not consent to you pulling out your retirement assets. Without your spouse’s consent, the courts could still decide to award your spouse part of your 401(k). This is because of something called dissipation when one spouse wrongfully drains an asset in anticipation of an upcoming divorce. Dissipation is usually the result of intentional misconduct. Dissipation can also be done through what is called “marital waste,” where the value of an asset is reduced or destroyed in an attempt to keep it away from one spouse.

Contact a Divorce Attorney in Lakewood Today

The bottom line is that hidden assets are bad news, and can almost always be found by your spouse’s attorney or the court. If you have concerns about your retirement account and what will happen to it in divorce, instead of taking drastic action, you should speak to a divorce attorney.

Single Parent Going to School? It Doesn’t Have to Be Hard

It’s back to school season, and not just for the kids! The struggles of a single parent trying to put his or herself through school are huge. There’s just never enough time in the day ”“ you have to manage the kids, your work, your car payments, house payments, all of the bills, the divorce process if you are recently separated ”“ we’ll stop there, you’re overwhelmed enough already!
Fortunately, you are not the first to go through this. Here is some advice from men and women who have gone through your struggles in the past and came out on top:

  • Do it on your time. So you work nine to five and the babysitter can’t stay any longer. You can plan around this! Many schools offer robust night school and online options for the busy student.
  • Find out as much as you can about financial aid, scholarships and grants ”“ they aren’t just for teenagers! Having aid can help keep food on the table, gas in the car and debt collectors off your phone line.
  • Build a strong support network. You could absolutely handle this alone, but why on Earth would you want to? Your friends, family and even school could help you with transportation, childcare and anything else you will need to help you pursue your degree.
  • Do your schoolwork together with your children! Not only will it allow you some more time with them, but setting a positive example and interacting with them will also help them in their own academic life.
  • Take time for yourself. If all you have is stress, your stress is only going to radiate out onto your loved ones and detract from your work.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Avoid These Mistakes during Divorce (Especially #3)

When navigating a divorce, there are countless wrong turns a person can make. After all, divorce is confusing, courtrooms are intimidating and legal forms are frustrating. But you need to keep a level head; don’t allow emotions or anxiety to overcome you, or you might fall victims to one of the following common divorce mistakes:

  • Trusting that your spouse will be a fair and cooperative party in the divorce. He may be a nice guy; she might be a nice girl. But divorce is a serious matter, so no matter how painful it is, you have to look out for yourself. Expect the worst, but hope for the best. If things go south, consider divorce mediation.
  • Not asking questions. Even if this isn’t your first divorce (it’s more common than you think; in fact, second and third marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages) you should ask everything you can think of. Ask about your chances of acquiring the assets you desire, like the home or car. Ask about the child custody procedures we have in Colorado. When in doubt, ASK.
  • Letting emotions rule. Now more than ever, you must make careful, reasoned approaches. You’re frustrated. You’re annoyed. You’re angry and sad and maybe a little bit neurotic. That’s normal! But you have to take a step back, otherwise you run the risk of undermining your whole case.
  • Withholding information from your attorney. Your attorney needs to know everything there is to know about your case in order to effectively represent you. By hiding information, you’re only weakening your case.
  • Expecting the court to see things from your point of view. The bottom line is: the judge is his or her own person. Judges are tasked with examining both sides of a case and coming to a satisfactory and fair conclusion. Even if you think you are in the right, the judge may disagree ”“ thus, it is better to take a skeptical, balanced approach to your case. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

What to Do When You Kid Chooses Your Ex

Divorce is full of heartbreak and stress, especially when kids are involved. But even when a divorce is long since passed, there are still some words that can shatter a parent’s world. Perhaps one of the worst things a parent can hear from his or her child is that the child wants to move in with the other parent.

This usually happens during adolescence. The kid always has reasons ”“ maybe they have more friends over at Dad’s house, or maybe Mom has more money. It could be a simple matter of “the grass is always greener” syndrome. No matter the reason, those words can lead to feelings of rejection and abandonment. They can make a parent question what they did wrong as a parent, or why the kid prefers to be at the other house.

If your kid has expressed a desire to move in with the other parent, try not to let your emotions get the best of you.

  • As with any matter involving separation or divorce, do not use this as an opportunity to bash your ex. Your child should never be put into a position where they have to choose sides, and badmouthing your ex can actually paint you in a negative light.
  • Discuss changes in visitation (parenting time, as we call it in Colorado) with your attorney. If parental rights have already been established in court, you will have to reconsider the current parenting arrangement.
  • As heartbreaking as it might be for you, respect your child’s decisions. Your job as a parent is to provide a supportive and positive environment for your child, even if that means letting go.
  • These days, it is incredibly easy to remain in meaningful contact with your child, even if they are far away. Apps like Skype and Facetime can allow you to chat with your child face to face, even from halfway across the world. Call often and make an effort to stick to your visitation. Your child still needs you, even if you are not the primary custodian.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

4 Signs Your Child is Struggling with Your Divorce

Kids are incredibly strong-willed, but divorce can hit them hard. Especially in younger kids, divorce is a very confusing thing and it can be hard to understand. And with all of the stresses that come from divorce, sometimes parents will miss some key signs that their kids are struggling. If you notice any of the following behaviors in your kids, you should take steps to make sure your kids are okay:

  • If you notice that your child’s grades are slipping, this is a sure sign that the divorce is distracting him or her from learning. To remedy this, you can schedule a conference with both your child and his or her teacher. Helping the teacher understand the reason for your child’s struggles can lead to accommodations that can help keep your child focused and productive, and having the child along shows the child that you care about his or her education and are willing to work closely with all involved parties to ensure that they do well in school.
  • Keep watch over your child’s relationship with his or her siblings, especially older ones. Because kids can react so differently to divorce, ignoring the interactions between your children can cause a lot of problems. Children might take sides; this behavior should be discouraged. Additionally, be wary about giving older children too much jurisdiction over the younger ones. Remember, you are the parent ”“ it is fine to give the kids extra housework to pick up the slack, but you should not have your older children take on a parenting role.
  • Keep watch over what the kids do in their free time. Younger children may need extra support during play time; school children might engage in destructive behavior like violence toward classmates on the playground, or stealing. Adolescents may exhibit delinquent behavior (truancy, for example) or become antisocial.
  • In older children especially, be wary of dramatic changes in the child’s outlook. Depression and low self-esteem can seriously lower your child’s quality of life. This depression can lead to destructive behaviors, such as smoking or drug and alcohol use.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Is It Okay to Date during Divorce?

When is it too early to start dating after you’ve decided to get a divorce?

It’s different for everyone; some people take years to get over a former spouse, while others are quick to mingle with other singles once the papers have been finalized. Some even start dating other people before the divorce is final ”“ but is this a good idea?

Legally speaking, there’s little to dissuade you from moving on to a new partner, at least in Colorado. While some may cry adultery if a divorce is not final before a person moves on to someone new, Colorado’s courts do not take adultery into account in divorce matters. This is because Colorado is a no-fault state ”“ the court does not care why the marriage has failed, only that it is irretrievably broken.

Aside from the legal matters, there are also emotional implications to consider. Even if you have separated from your spouse before you start dating, emotions can still be high, and moving on so fast can lead to animosity from your ex. This could motivate him or her to be more aggressive in the divorce proceedings; he or she might, for example, fight harder for custody of the kids, or demand more from you than a fair compromise would entail. Especially when you have kids, it is important to remain cordial with your spouse during a divorce, and a new relationship can make it difficult for that to happen.

Furthermore, the time immediately following divorce is a time of emotional vulnerability. Yes, it always feels good to feel wanted or needed, which is often the reason divorcees will move on quickly. However, you need time to process your feelings and to truly leave the marriage in the past ”“ you will likely still be dealing with your ex for some time to come, and it is unfair to new partners to put them in the middle of such a sensitive time.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Tips for Creating a Child Visitation Schedule

One key way of reducing the potential for conflict when it comes to a child custody situation is penning a visitation schedule that works for both parents as well as the child. A stable schedule can help parents and children avoid confusion about who has custody and when.

The most basic visitation schedule is the repeating cycle. For many parents, this will involve one parent having custody during the week when the child is in school and the other parent having custody on weekends. Depending on the distance between the two homes, this schedule is very flexible. The benefit of a repeating schedule is the ability to plan events and vacations far in advance without the headache of renegotiating custody.

Holidays, Special Occasions and Vacations

A consideration you will have to make when defining a visitation schedule is holidays. You should plan these far in advance and look to both work schedules and your child’s school schedule to determine the most appropriate arrangement. Depending on what days the holidays fall on as well as whether the parents are members of different religions can make this step a bit more complicated, which is why planning far in advance is the best course of action.

The next consideration to make is vacation time and special occasions. Birthdays, graduations and leaving the country are all times you should add to your calendar. With things like birthdays and graduation, it is easy to plan in advance, so you should do so; vacations, on the other hand, can be more impromptu. You must discuss these with your spouse before you finalize plans to ensure that a satisfactory custody arrangement can be made. If you wish to take your children for a week’s vacation in the Bahamas, you should be willing to concede a week to your ex as well; compromise is key to ensuring that a visitation schedule is best for the kids.

The common theme in these considerations is planning ahead. Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry; because of this, you should always be willing to listen to your ex and work together to create the best possible schedule.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Residency Requirements for Colorado Divorce

A common misconception is that a couple must get divorced in the same state they were married in. However, you can get divorced anywhere in the country, as long as you have residency there. In fact, most divorces are filed in the state the filing spouse resides in. While this is the most common scenario, it is also possible to move before filing for divorce and file in your new home!

What Are the Residency Requirements?

In Colorado, the divorce process requires that you meet residency requirements. Residency requirements vary state to state, with some states having more difficult requirements. Filing for divorce in a state where you do not meet the requirements will lead to rejection of your case. Colorado’s residency rules are fairly simple: in order to file for a dissolution of marriage, you must be a resident of the state for 90 days prior to filing for the divorce.

If You Don’t Meet Residency Requirements

If you find that you do not meet the residency requirements for a divorce filing, you have a few options:

  • You can establish residency in Colorado for 90 days. Just because you haven’t lived here for 90 days does not mean you have to wait to start getting the paperwork together. You can still hire an attorney and get to work! Your attorney will gather all the appropriate documents and wait the three months to file for divorce.
  • If your spouse fulfills residency requirements in Colorado, you can ask them to file for divorce.
  • If you have residency in another state, you can file for divorce there.
Contact Divorce Matters for Help

If you have any questions or concerns, please reach out to us at (720) 386-9176 or click here! One of our experienced attorneys would be happy to answer your questions.

Cell Phone Forensics on the Rise in Divorce Cases

Careful what you do with your smartphones during divorce ”“ according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), approximately 97 percent of members have reported an increase in the amount of evidence taken from smartphones and other wireless devices in the last few years.

A lot can be gleaned from smartphones that could be relevant in a divorce case. Text messages are the most frequently used, as well as emails, phone numbers, call history, internet browser searches and GPS location information.

One underutilized resource for obtaining information is apps. Everyone uses them, and even game apps such as Words with Friends could have information relevant to a divorce. Many games have a built-in chat function, making these apps just as valuable as text messages when used as evidence. Other apps like Snapchat, Google Maps and Tinder (for obvious reasons) could be used to gather data for a divorce case.

Protecting Your Smartphone Data in Divorce

If you are going through a divorce, you should be very careful with what you do on your smartphone. Just like social media postings, anything you say on your phone, even to someone other than your spouse, can be used against you. Others can screenshot the things you say and your data can be subpoenaed by your spouse’s attorney. It is incredibly easy to self-incriminate through smartphone use, so use your best judgment. Likewise, if you have information relevant to your divorce that you believe can help you in your divorce, such as things your spouse said that could affect his or her custody of your children, you should present that information to a family law attorney.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Dealing with Regret after Divorce

Divorce can be full of regret. You might feel as though you could have done more to save your marriage. You might regret things you said before, during and after the divorce. You might even regret going through with the divorce.

You don’t have to keep living with remorse; after all, a life full of regret is hardly a life at all. No matter how bad you feel about what was said or unsaid, done or not done, moving beyond regret is a healthy and necessary part of divorce recovery.

The first thing you must accept is that you make decisions based on what you know at the moment. Hindsight is 20/20, they say, and it is easy to get enveloped with the idea of what could have been. Try to remember what it was like when you made the decision, and then decide now what you want to do. Do you want your ex back? Do you want to start dating again? Do you want to take the kids to Disneyworld or kick back with some ice cream, friends and a good movie? Deciding how to move forward helps you put your regrets in the past. When you are looking back, you can’t see what’s up ahead.

Try to learn a lesson from whatever caused your regrets. There will come a time where you will be in a similar situation as before ”“ a fight with a significant other, or a conversation where you say something you did not mean. Applying the knowledge of what went wrong in the past allows you to avoid similar scenarios moving forward.

Learn. Act. Forgive and keep your eyes forward to the new days ahead.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys