When Should I Get Divorced?

As experienced Denver divorce attorneys, one of the most common questions we hear from clients concerns the timing of their divorce. While this will depend on the specific circumstances surrounding your case, the following are ramifications you will want to consider.

The Best Time of Year to Get a Divorce

If you experience issues in your marriage such as a spouse’s alcohol or drug use and domestic violence, you may need to act quickly to protect your family’s safety and well being. If your breakup is more about long-simmering resentments or disagreements that have caused you to grow apart, giving thought to the timing of your divorce is a smart move.

Due to Internal Revenue Service (IRS) tax laws regarding filing status, January is often considered the best time for getting a divorce:

  • If you were separated or filed for divorce on December 31st or at any prior time during the year but your divorce was not finalized, you are considered as married for the entire year and can file a joint return.
  • If your divorce was finalized on December 31 or any time prior in the year, you are considered unmarried and are required to file as a single taxpayer.

Filing status can have a significant impact on taxes you may be required to pay or refunds you may be owed and is a common reason for timing a divorce.

Other Considerations in Timing Your Divorce

In addition to tax ramifications, there are other important issues to consider in deciding when to file for divorce. Under the Colorado Dissolution of Marriage Act (C.R.S. 14-10), couples must meet residency requirements, but since Colorado is a ”˜no fault’ state, the only grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences.

While fault grounds such as adultery, habitual drunkenness, desertion, and mental cruelty do not impact your ability to get a divorce, they can have an effect on issues such as property division, child custody, and spousal support. Remaining married to a spouse who has engaged in these types of behaviors may be viewed as condonation, meaning that you either forgive your spouse or accept their acts. Other issues to consider in timing your divorce include:

  • Impact on children: If you have small children, you may be reluctant to separate over the holiday or during their school breaks. At the same time, custody issues due to a divorce during the school year could necessitate a change in school districts.  
  • Financial preparedness: Prior to filing for divorce, it is best to be financially prepared. In addition to finding housing that is affordable on one income, you will want to have your own bank accounts and lines of credit established, make copies of important documents, and conduct a thorough inventory of all marital property and assets.  

When determining when the time is right for you to seek a divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced Colorado divorce attorney. Call or contact Divorce Matters online and request a consultation today. Serving Denver and the surrounding areas, we provide the trusted legal advice you need to protect yourself and your family.

Divorcing a Narcissist

We all have heard of narcissists and some of us have probably dealt with one at some time or another. Unfortunately, some of us may be married to one, or maybe in the process of divorcing one.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. Narcissists are vain and think of themselves very highly. They are callous and do not care about the feelings of others. They are concerned primarily about themselves. They have a need for constant admiration as if they are a celebrity. They also feel entitled to everything and cannot handle criticism well.

So when you divorce the narcissist, be prepared to see your spouse portray himself or herself at the victim and you as the most horrible person in the world. While this portrayal will likely make you extremely upset, the worst thing you can do is react emotionally. Why? Because narcissists don’t care about the feelings of others. You’re just making things worse for yourself.

A narcissist will try to take the divorce all the way to court to let a judge decide. This seems like a poor strategy, but in the eyes of the narcissist, it’s better to have an unfavorable outcome when someone else has the control than to give up control unwillingly. This may not make sense at all, but that’s how the mind of a narcissist works.

Divorce Tips

So what can you do to avoid your spouse’s drama and get your divorce finalized quickly? Here are some suggestions:

  • Let your lawyer know about your narcissistic spouse. Most lawyers have experience dealing with this type of person, but if not, find someone who is. You need to have the right strategy.
  • Establish goals.What do you want to accomplish in the end? Determine what battles you want to fight, because some are small and not worth fighting.
  • Listen and ask questions. Don’t have preconceived ideas. Learn more about your spouse’s point of view and set reasonable expectations.
  • Document everything. Your spouse will tell lies. You can negate these lies by having receipts and other documents to back up your claims.
  • Be objective. Play devil’s advocate. What arguments will your spouse use against you to make you look like the bad guy? Think ahead so your lawyer can help you avoid hurting your case.
  • Be reasonable. Your spouse wants you to enrage you. Don’t let him or her do it. Don’t think with your feelings. Use law and facts to create an argument that is logical and reasonable.

Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney Today

Being married to a narcissist can be frustrating, but divorcing one can be even worse. Your spouse will try to manipulate you and refuse to settle outside of court. He or she will make your divorce a nightmare. Get help by contacting the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We can help create an agreement that will allow you to settle outside of court without the drama. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

What Kind of Divorce is Right for You?

No two divorces are the same. The legal assistance and procedures you choose will depend on your relationship with your spouse, pertinent child custody matters, marital assets, and personal resources. There are several paths you can take to obtain a divorce. Find out more about the different divorce forms to learn which option is best for you.

Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce is for couples that have no issues to resolve before the divorce can be granted. If the spouses agree on every aspect of the divorce, they may choose to file jointly. Uncontested divorces can be obtained without legal counsel if desired. This option works best for spouses with no children and limited resources that are seeking a “quickie divorce.” While uncontested divorce is typically the least expensive form of divorce, it can also be a risky choice. One spouse may be unduly influenced by the other to accept the “raw end of the deal.” Spouses that fail to address every issue in their divorce agreement may end up going back to court at a later date.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is the process of resolving divorce matters as a team. Each spouse hires a separate attorney, but all parties work together to find a solution to property distribution and child custody issues. This process works well for divorces with few contentious issues involving amicable, cooperative spouses. However, if the parties cannot reach an agreement, they may have to retain new counsel and start from scratch.

Mediated Divorce

Mediation can be a very effective approach to reach a mutually agreeable divorce settlement. The spouses, with or without separate counsel, sit down with a neutral third party to resolve their financial and parenting issues. This form of divorce works well for many couples, as long as both spouses are willing to cooperate and compromise.

Divorce Settlement

The most common form of divorce is the out-of-court settlement. Each spouse is represented by his or her own attorney who oversees the negotiation process. When the parties reach a divorce agreement, they submit their proposal to the court for approval.

Contested Divorce

When negotiation and dispute resolution attempts fail, a contested divorce may be necessary. In a contested divorce, the spouses present their arguments in front of a judge or jury, who decides the issues for them. This is the most complicated, time-consuming, and expensive form of divorce. It is only recommended for those with complex asset division or child custody issues, or those dealing with a hostile spouse.

Arbitration

A less commonly used option is divorce arbitration. The process is often faster and less formal than a full trial, but the issues are still heard and decided by a neutral third party. The arbitrator’s decisions are legally binding, so it is only a good option for those who wish to preserve time, money, and privacy, but have been unable to reach a divorce settlement.

Need Legal Assistance? Call a Colorado Divorce Attorney

Divorce Matters is a Denver-based law firm that focuses on divorce and family law issues. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and let us assist you throughout each step of your case.

A Denver Divorce Timeline

No one enjoys getting divorced. The end of your marriage may have caught you by surprise, or it could have been a long time coming. However, once divorce becomes inevitable, most people want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, state laws, legal procedures, and the negotiation process may slow you down on the road to newfound singledom. Find out how long a typical divorce usually takes in Denver and what to avoid if you are looking for a speedy divorce.

How Long Does a Divorce Take? Denver Divorce Laws

The timeline for divorce varies significantly from state to state. Most states have residency requirements which determine how long a person must live within its borders before the state will grant jurisdiction over his or her divorce. In Colorado, at least one spouse must have been domiciled in state for at least 90 days before they can file for divorce.

Colorado state law also requires a 90-day waiting period from the time the divorce petition is filed before the court can finalize a divorce order. At minimum, a simple, uncontested divorce will take about three months. Spouses can forego the waiting period if they have been legally separated for at least six months.

Once the initial divorce filing and summons have been submitted, both spouses have 20 days to submit their financial disclosures, although this may be extended to 40 days if a response is not received from the non-filing spouse. Couples with children will also need to take a parenting course. If all required paperwork is submitted and an agreeable divorce settlement has been reached before the 90-day waiting period is complete, a final divorce decree can be entered and signed by the judge.

The Divorce Court Process in Denver

If you have children, significant assets to disclose, or want to pursue alimony, the divorce process can take much longer than 90 days. An average divorce timeline in Denver is about six to twelve months.

Contested divorces, especially those involving child custody and visitation, may require multiple hearings and/or temporary orders. These courtroom procedures extend the length of your divorce process. If your divorce goes to trial, you can expect the entire process to take one to two years.

Negotiating a Divorce Settlement

The good news is most divorces will reach a settlement before they ever go to trial. The negotiation process can still go on for quite a while, especially if the spouses are very far apart in terms of agreement. The easiest way to speed up the negotiations process is to work amicably with your spouse and be willing to compromise. Negotiations move faster when both spouses are cooperative and motivated. Consider using alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation, to reach a mutually agreeable settlement.

Denver Colorado Divorce Lawyers

If you are considering divorce, it is important to consult a qualified Denver divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Divorce Matters is a Denver-based law firm exclusively dedicated to divorce and family law matters. Contact us today to schedule a consultation in our Greenwood Village or Lakewood locations.

Happenings Around The Firm

Here at Divorce Matters, we’ve been getting into the holiday spirit by sharing our good fortunes with others.
Over the course of November we collected three boxes filled with food that went to the Hand That Feeds Food Drive benefiting the Denver Rescue Mission.
The founding partner of our firm Doug Thomas took things to another level when he donated $5,000 to the Denver Rescue Mission and their representative Lisette on air with Willie B on 106.7 KBPI!

Surviving Divorce During the Holidays

There is never an easy time to end a marriage, but going through a divorce during the holidays can be particularly challenging. Dealing with loneliness, custody battles, and nosey extended family members is enough to turn anyone into a Grinch. While there is nothing fun about getting divorced this time of year, it doesn’t have to ruin your holiday. Here are some tips to help you make it through the new year stronger and better than ever.

Loneliness During the Holidays

Being suddenly alone during the season of togetherness can be hard. It is normal to feel sad, angry, nostalgic, or any mix of indescribable emotions. If you find yourself in this unfortunate boat this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Let yourself be sad, but do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity.

To combat loneliness in a healthy way, invest your time in strengthening relationships with family and friends, cultivating a hobby, or learning a new skill. Start a new tradition or check something off your holiday bucket list. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overindulgence in alcohol. Finally, do not be afraid to reach out to a friend or professional therapist if you need to talk.

Holiday Custody Issues

If you are newly separated or divorced, this season may mark the first holiday you spend away from your children. Some families decide to split the holiday in order to give each parent time with their children. Whatever your custody arrangement is this year, remember to be flexible. If you compromise to accommodate your former spouse’s Christmas schedule this time, your ex may be more willing to extend the same grace to you on the next big holiday.

For those who are already successfully co-parenting, consider celebrating the holiday together with your children. This allows a child to maximize the time she can spend with both her parents. If you are not ready or willing to spend Christmas in the same house as your ex, it’s okay (few recently divorced spouses are). In time, you and your former spouse may be able to set differences aside to share the occasional family dinner with your children.

Family Matters During Divorce

If this is your first Christmas since the separation or divorce, your children may face a difficult time adjusting to the changes. Let them know it is normal to be sad or disappointed that the holidays are different this year. To ease their transition, keep their favorite holiday traditions alive, and introduce a couple new ones as well.

Recently separated or divorced couples should also be prepared to field awkward questions from extended family members and acquaintances during holiday get-togethers. Whether your distant relatives are well-meaning or simply nosey, a conversation can quickly take a dark turn when you are newly divorced. If you anticipate the third degree from your great aunts when you show up to the Christmas party sans husband, try to plan your answers in advance. Practice delivering a brief “statement” that explains your new life situation without rehashing all the ugly details.

Divorce and the Holidays

For assistance with divorce, custody, or other family law issues, contact the Denver divorce lawyers at Divorce Matters. We are eager to assist you today.

Coping With Divorce Through the Holidays

For most people, the holidays evoke thoughts of family togetherness. This can be hard if you’re experiencing your first holiday season since a divorce. You won’t have a partner in the home, and the children may be spending time with the other parent. This means you might be spending a day like Christmas alone.

This can seem depressing, but it doesn’t have to be that way. After a divorce, you no longer have to follow previous family traditions. Feel free to be flexible and create your own. Focus on happiness and love this holiday season and you’ll look forward to the holidays every year.

Be Patient

Things may not go as planned during your first holiday as a single parent. Emotions may be still running high. You may be fighting over custody with the other parent. Don’t get overwhelmed. Get rid of the pressure involved with the holidays and go easy on yourself. Trust that things will get better as time goes on.

Be Flexible

Don’t feel like you need to be set in your ways. For example, Christmas doesn’t have to occur on December 25. If the other parent insists on having the kids for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it’s not the end of the world. You can celebrate with the kids before or after. As an added bonus, your kids will get two Christmases, which might seem fun.

This means you’ll need to be flexible with your plans as well. In the past, Christmas may have revolved around the kids, so spend this Christmas doing something for yourself. Go visit friends. Go see a movie. Sart new traditions by doing something that makes you happy.

Be Cooperative

Be amicable toward the other parent for the sake of your children. Fighting during the holidays only adds more stress to the situation. Push your negative feelings aside and make the holidays a wonderful time of year for the kids. Find a way to compromise and work things out without the bitterness.

Don’t Feel Isolated

Many people want to help loved ones during the holidays, so you’ll likely get invitations to spend holidays with friends, neighbors and loved ones. Take advantage of the opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with others. It will keep you busy and get your mind off the divorce and your emotions.

Help Others

Volunteering at your church or in your community or simply helping a neighbor in need will help you recognize that there are people who are less fortunate than you. Reach out and see how you can help others this holiday season. Your recipient will be grateful to you, and you’ll feel better about yourself as well. It’s a win-win situation!

An Attorney Can Help with Holidays and Divorce

The holidays can seem lonely and depressing after a divorce. With the right attitude, you can make this holiday season a positive and memorable one. By being proactive and adjusting to the changes, you can enjoy time with friends, family members are even yourself. Contact the Aurora divorce attorneys at Divorce Matters for more help with surviving the holidays. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Why Selling Your Engagement Ring Might Be A Good Idea After Divorce

Divorce can be full of challenges. Both emotionally and financially, this can be a stressful time and you will likely be looking for ways to overcome these difficulties. One of the most practical steps you can take is to sell the engagement ring. Why?

Financial benefits of selling your engagement ring

With the costs associated with divorce and juggling finances alone instead of as a couple, it can be important to generate additional income. Selling your engagement ring can help you quickly raise money to put towards any legal costs or simply adjust to your new life. Taking the pressure off of your financial situation can bring a lot of relief and reduce stress.
Your engagement ring may be one of the most expensive items that you own, but it is also the most disposable in the sense that it no longer adds value to your day-to-day life. Unlike a house or a car, it is highly unlikely that you will be inconvenienced by no longer owning your engagement ring. The bottom line is that selling the ring is a practical financial decision.

Emotional benefits of selling your engagement ring

What have you done with your engagement ring? Hidden it in a drawer to gather dust? Are you aware of where it is but avoiding looking at it? Or are you still wearing it because you don’t know what else to do with it at this point? Whenever you feel ready to deal with the ring, selling it can be a great way to move on emotionally.
The ring now symbolizes your previous relationship and is a constant reminder of something that you are likely looking to move on from. Letting go of something steeped in emotional baggage and history can be cathartic and allows you to symbolically put your past behind you. So why not trade it in to buy new jewelry or sell it and put the money towards your divorce costs, a vacation or simply treat yourself? It is time for new beginnings and holding on to your past may hold you back from starting over.

How to sell your engagement ring quickly and safely

When to sell the ring is an entirely personal decision. You will want to make sure that you are comfortable with the idea of selling your engagement ring, but also comfortable with who you are selling to. There are a variety of ways you can sell your engagement ring, but in order to sell safely and quickly for the best price, working with a reputable and established diamond buyer is your best bet. WP Diamonds can help you sell discreetly in as little as 24 hours, online or via appointment. Get a price quote for your engagement ring today to start the selling process. You can also trade it in for a new piece of jewelry that represents this new phase in your life.

How Much Is My Engagement Ring Worth?

Selling the engagement ring can be a great way to move on from divorce, not only emotionally but also financially. It allows you to let go of the past and raise money that can be put towards financing your divorce or simply treating yourself. But where to sell it and how much is your engagement ring worth?

How engagement rings are priced

While an engagement ring buyer will also factor in for the cost of the metal and any side stones, the bulk of the value of your engagement ring is going to come from the largest stone on the ring. And the value of a years with no guarantee of sale. And the value of a diamond is dependent on 4 main factors, called the 4 C’s:

  • Carat weight: the weight of the diamond measured in carats
  • Color grade: white diamonds color grades range from D (colorless) to Z (light yellow)
  • Clarity grade: this refers to any flaws or blemishes in the diamond and ranges from IF-I3
  • Cut grade: how well cut and proportioned the stone is. This is only applicable to round diamonds.

This information is typically available on any diamond certificate (GIA, IGI EGL etc.) or paperwork (jewelers or insurance appraisal).

How much will I get for my engagement ring?

Typically you can expect to receive 20%-45% of what was paid at retail. Due to high markups at the retail level, diamonds do not increase in value over time.

However, it is important to note that smaller, local jewelers tend to have lower markups than larger retail jewelry stores. And the lower the markup, the more you will receive when it comes to selling your ring. Additionally, designer jewelry holds its value well, especially if you still have the original box and papers that it came with at the time of purpose.

Where to sell an engagement ring for the best price

While you can sell your engagement ring to a local jeweler on consignment or pawnbroker, you will likely undersell the piece. Pawnbrokers are not diamond specialists and consignment can take months or even years with no guarantee of sale.

Online diamond buyers are a great option for getting the best price and quick payment. There are however a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to selling diamonds and jewelry online:

  • Do make sure to work with an A+ BBB rated diamond buyer
  • Do work with a company that has a credible number of online reviews from previous customers
  • Do work with a company that guarantees quick payment
  • Do your research and find a company with GIA trained gemologists
  • Do not work with a company that will charge you for their service

How to sell an engagement ring

Online diamond buyer WP Diamonds specializes in buying engagement rings for cash but also offers an upgrade program should you wish to upgrade your ring to something new. Their process is discreet, quick and free of charge. The 4-step process outlined below can take as little as 48 hours:

  1. Fill out the online form with the information on your engagement ring.
  2. A representative will be in touch shortly with a price quote.
  3. Schedule an appointment or send in your ring in for a final price (free shipping and insurance is provided).
  4. Receive a final price. Accept the offer and receive the full amount via wire or check. Refuse the offer and it is returned to you insured and free of charge.

Ways to Unwind After Divorce

After a divorce it is important not to forget to take care of yourself and make sure that you are doing things to help propel you into your new future. Here are a few quick and easy ways you can indulge yourself just a little bit:

  • Take a day trip somewhere on your own
  • Reconnect with your friends and family
  • Buy a little something you’ve always wanted (nothing too crazy!)
  • Take yourself to the spa
  • Start working out, it reduces anxiety and fights depression
  • Try something new, whether it is a hair cut, a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or that play you always wanted to go see