Does the SCOTUS Same-Sex Marriage Ruling Affect Domestic Partnerships?

If you’ve been on Facebook, you’ve probably seen a cascade of rainbow-colored profile pictures celebrating the Supreme Court ruling on the case of Obergefell v. Hodges, the case that overturned same-sex marriage bans in four states and effectively legalized marriage for same-sex couples across the United States. Colorado has already had same-sex marriage on the law books for some time, but some couples have chosen to forego marriage in favor of domestic partnerships. Domestic partnerships are similar to marriage and many employers already extend benefits such as health insurance to couples in domestic partnerships.

Because Obergefell’s ruling does not mention domestic partnerships, you might be wondering how yours will be affected by the outcome on the case.

How the Supreme Court Ruling Affects Domestic Partnerships

Employer-provided benefits may change as a result of the ruling. Some employers may discontinue same-sex domestic partner benefits. You should speak with your employer about possible benefit changes and whether you need to take steps to ensure that your partner is covered. This has happened in the past with employers like Verizon and IBM, where domestic partner benefits were rescinded and employees were given a grace period to get married. Your taxes may also be affected by the change.

Our family law attorneys will be keeping an eye on the effects of the Obergefell ruling and will keep this blog updated as more news comes out that may affect your family.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Divorce Tips for Stay-at-Home Moms

Stay-at-home moms may feel particularly vulnerable after a divorce rears its head, especially when it comes to financial decisions. Without a steady income, it can be incredibly stressful to think of the impending future following divorce.

There are several methods you can utilize that can help buffer your bank account. Being a single mom is expensive, but you could seek child support and alimony (spousal support or maintenance) to keep you afloat while you readjust your life through going to school school or searching for a job. It will be a difficult road, but you must find a way to become self-sufficient, and these financial boosts will help relieve stress while you make your way toward the new way of life.

You might fear that your time as a stay-at-home mom may have left you without any marketable skills, but actually, there are many skills that moms can transfer into the job marketplace! Mothers can be excellent organizers, time management specialists and negotiators, not to mention great listeners, communicators and multi-taskers. Mothers are by definition teachers and motivators ”“ don’t think that staying at home has left you unskilled!

If you are having trouble finding a job quickly, there are several freelance and virtual opportunities that can supplement your income while you seek fulltime employment. If you wish to earn a degree but don’t have time to spend away from the kids, you can pursue online courses in your desired field.

Moms are strong ”“ so don’t give up! If you have any questions about women’s issues during divorce, check out our page on the subject or contact a family law attorney.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Dating after Divorce

You might feel pressured post-divorce to start dating again. Perhaps your friends or relatives might encourage you, or you might feel stressed at the prospect of spending time alone. But figuring out when you are ready to date is a decision you should make for yourself, not to placate your social circle.

Here are some tips to follow when dating post-divorce:

  • It’s up to you when to start dating again, not your calendar. Some people might be ready after a month or two, while some take years. Work through your feelings before diving back into the dating scene.
  • If you’re still thinking about what your ex is doing or who he or she is dating, you are probably still too distracted for a healthy relationship.
  • Accept yourself as an individual. Being in a relationship should not define your identity. Take some time to explore life on your own terms, as jumping into a new relationship just to avoid being single is unhealthy for you and unfair to your dating partners.
  • Especially when you’ve been involved in a long-term relationship, you may find that the dating scene has changed since you were last involved. Nowadays it is not uncommon to utilize online dating sites, which take some of the guesswork out of finding other singles. If you are ready to date, don’t shun online options as nontraditional ”“ they are rapidly becoming the norm.
  • Dating is an adult decision. It is fine to worry about how your children might perceive you dating other people, but don’t let them stop you if you feel ready to date again. Do be careful ”“ your children are also coping with your divorce, and being too flagrant or quick with your children meeting new partners can cause a backlash. You should only introduce your children to a potential partner that has long-term prospects, and when you do so, you should ease your children into the idea of having that person around.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

How a Vengeful Divorce Can Backfire

Emotions can run high during a divorce. In the heat of the moment, you might decide that you want revenge for wrongs that your ex committed against you, but we urge you to think before you act! Often, these vengeful acts only make matters worse. Pulling a dirty trick against your ex will create animosity at best and could invite a similar response at worst. This can lead to a cycle of hurt and anger for both parties involved. So before you do any of the following, take a step back and think about the repercussions:

  1. Don’t take everything and leave! When your spouse returns home to find the house empty, all you have done is made the situation that much worse.
  2. Don’t cancel the credit cards! When you file a divorce petition in Colorado, an injunction is automatically placed that prevents you from canceling the cards. You also cannot close bank accounts, cut off utilities or cancel insurance policies.
  3. Don’t try to get your spouse fired. What if you decide you need spousal support or child support? It’s going to be awfully difficult to get those payments if your spouse is out of a job.
  4. Don’t try to move out of state with the kids. Colorado law says you cannot, but that should not be the only reason you follow this rule.
  5. Don’t falsely accuse your spouse of child abuse. If there is a real possibility of abuse, take the issue to a legal professional before filing. Remember, these allegations can go both ways.
  6. Don’t try to embarrass your spouse by having them served with summons or subpoenas in a public place. Furthermore, don’t try to embarrass him or her using social media ”“ once something is on the Internet, it’s on there forever. And your spouse’s lawyer will be watching.

Vengeful tactics might give you temporary satisfaction, but in the long run they only cause more problems. Consider divorce mediation if tensions get high between you and your spouse.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Is My Marriage Worth Saving?

If the thought of divorce has crossed your mind or even if your spouse has asked you for a divorce, one of the first questions you might ask is if the marriage is salvageable. Divorce is a huge life change, and opens up dozens of other questions ”“ what changed? What will happen to the family? Can you support yourself on your own? Who gets the house? Who gets custody of the kids?

Asking yourself if the marriage is worth saving is the first consideration you should make. If the answer is yes, none of the other questions matter ”“ your focus should shift from the worries of a future divorce to actions that can help restore your marriage.

How to Save a Marriage

One of the best ways to figure out whether your marriage is worth saving is by seeking support systems amongst your immediate social circle. Perhaps you have a close group of friends that you regularly see, or you are active in a religious community. Speaking to your friends, family, fellow congregants or pastors can help you see your marital problems from an outside perspective. If you are worried that your immediate social circle might feel conflicted about your divorce, or that they might choose sides, consider speaking to a professional marriage counselor.

But in the end, your problems are between you and your spouse, and the best way to solve them is speaking with one another. When doing so, try to avoid labels ”“ calling each other crazy, or neurotic, or insensitive only serves to frustrate the accused party.

Recognize your spouse’s problems. Often one spouse will dismiss the spouse’s arguments entirely, saying “that’s not a problem” or “that’s your problem.” If you love your spouse, then you should listen. Even if the problems are minor ”“ especially if they are minor ”“ you should be willing to work with your spouse.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Little People, Big World Stars Divorce after 27 Years of Marriage

Matt and Amy Roloff, the stars of TLC’s Little People, Big World have called it quits on their marriage after 27 years together. This news follows their March 2014 separation, during which the couple attempted co-parenting and running the family farm while living separately.

The split was amicable, and both parties agreed that divorce was the best course of action. Matt noted in interviews that he never felt at home in his own home, which led him to consider divorce; Amy expressed similar sentiments, saying that the two never really learned how to live together.

Can I Save My Marriage?

If you are unsure about whether your marriage can be saved, one of the best things you can do is attend marriage/couples counseling. Marriage counseling has helped millions of couples to avoid the pain that divorce can bring to one or both spouses. Even if you do not think therapy is the right option, it can’t hurt to try a few sessions. Many health insurance plans cover mental health visits, and some therapists will adjust their pricing to your income level or allow you to make monthly payments on your visits.

Before discounting the idea of therapy, we recommend speaking to friends or family members who have been to a counselor to see what their experiences were like.

Still, sometimes, like in the case of the Roloffs, there is not much that can be done. If that is the case, you should discuss the divorce process with a dedicated family law attorney.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Making the Transition to Living Alone after Divorce

One of the most drastic changes to a person’s lifestyle after divorce comes the moment you walk into your home and realize that you live alone. This defining moment can be full of sorrow, anger or both. Adjusting to the bachelor/bachelorette life takes some getting used to, especially when you have been married for many years.

While these negative feelings may be overwhelming at first, you should know that living alone is not the same as being alone. Support and love from family, friends and support groups can help you manage your stress. Here are some tips for recent divorcees on how to transition to your new home life.

  • It’s not the end, it’s a new beginning. There is life after divorce.
  • When you interact with your ex-spouse, try to redefine your relationship. This is important especially when children are involved. Instead of thinking of your ex as a failed marriage partner, think of him or her as a loving co-parent. After all, you both still have a responsibility to your children to provide a stable, nurturing environment.
  • Don’t bottle up your feelings. If you need help, ask for it ”“ there is no shame in reaching out.
  • Now is a great time to make your home truly your own. Maybe your living room would look great with an accent wall. Get the kids together and have a painting party. Shop for new décor, or finally make those new additions you always thought about before.
  • Rededicate yourself to your passions. Maybe you stopped writing when you got married, or maybe you quit school to devote more time to the house. Seize any opportunities you can to put yourself down the right path toward your new life.

You may fear for how the new living situation will affect your kids. In a previous blog we discussed ways in which divorce can make the kids stronger and prepared for the future; check it out or visit our videos section for more divorce information.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Is It Legal to Record Conversations with My Ex-Spouse?

The state of Colorado is what is known as a “one-party consent state.” What this means is that it is totally legal to record a telephone conversation as long as one party involved in the conversation consents to the recording. Only one person has to know that a recording is being made ”“ and that person can be the one doing the recording.

The implications in a divorce case are vast. It means that you can record your communications with your ex and use them in court as evidence.

This does not always apply; for example, when one party moves to another state, recording without consent might be illegal. Not every state is a one-party consent state. There are about a dozen states where all parties must be aware of the recording for it to be legal. If your spouse is in an all-party consent state, recording him or her without consent is breaking the law, even if you are doing it from a one-party state like Colorado. You could be found guilty of committing a crime, leading to fees and possibly jail time. And because the recordings were obtained illegally, you also would not be able to use them in court as evidence in your divorce case.

Can I Record My Spouse Talking to the Kids?

If your child is talking to your ex over the phone, then you are not a party to the conversation and you cannot give consent. Thus, the recordings are not legal. In situations like this, always make sure to inform your ex that a recording is taking place.

If you are having trouble with your divorce, a family law attorney could help you through the process. Listen to founding partner Doug Thomas explain how an attorney can help:

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

TV Legend Ed Asner Files for Divorce

Ed Asner has touched the hearts of countless television and film fans. Known for his Emmy-award winning role as Lou Grant on The Mary Tyler Moore Show (or for our younger readers, as the voice of protagonist Carl Fredricksen in Pixar’s Up,) Asner has helmed the Screen Actors Guild as president and continues to play a big role in modern film, TV and live theatre.

Asner recently filed for divorce from wife Cindy. The two, married in 1998, have been separated for eight years and reached a financial settlement in 2009; the divorce, however, was never filed until now.

Gray Divorce on the Rise?

Since the early 1990s, the overall divorce rate in the U.S. has dropped, but the divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled. A report by Bowling Green State University sociologists suggests that one out of four people divorcing in the United States is over the age of 55, and nearly one in ten is 65 or older. More than half of these “gray divorces” are first marriages.

A divorce after 50 can be emotionally devastating, even more so than a typical divorce. Spending so much of your life with the same partner can leave you feeling lost after a divorce. There are also the financial ramifications you might have to deal with ”“ statistics show that older divorced Americans have only 20 percent as much wealth as older married couples. This can lead to stress, especially if there are medical bills or other financial obligations that need to be taken care of.

If you are divorcing after 50, you could benefit from the advice of a dedicated family law attorney.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Source: https://www.people.com/article/ed-asner-files-divorce-8-years-after-separating-wife

John Frusciante’s Marriage Thrown “Under the Bridge”

Former Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante is getting divorced.

The “Under the Bridge” writer and performer had been married to wife Nicole Turley, musician and founder of the experimental project Swahili Blonde, for four years before Turley filed papers for the divorce.

Turley has cited irreconcilable differences as the motive behind the split and is seeking spousal support and legal fees from Frusciante. The couple has no kids.

Does Having No Children Lead to Easier Divorce?

You might think that divorcing without kids is simple. No custody arrangements, no child support or fear about how the divorce will affect the kids. Sounds great, right?

Despite this, divorce is still a difficult process, even without having kids involved.

One issue that childless women in particular might face following a divorce occurs when the woman actually wants children. A divorce before the opportunity to have a child may hurt the woman’s prospects of ever raising a family, which can lead to depression and other psychological damage. Additionally, childless women face many unfortunate societal generalizations, not the least of which is the false assumption that the woman is selfish or unnurturing if she does not want children.

Childless couples also face a higher likelihood of divorce, according to journalist Anneli Rufus. This likelihood rises higher still when the couple disagrees about whether to have children or not.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys