What is Bird’s Nest Custody?

In the past, child custody arrangements involved dropping off the kids at the other parent’s house when it was their scheduled time for visitation. While that still happens often nowadays, there is a new type of child custody arrangement that is gaining in popularity. Called bird’s nest custody, it sounds like something from Animal Planet, but it’s actually a great idea for parents who want to minimize disruption to their child’s lives after a divorce.

Bird’s nest custody is a form of child custody arrangement. Instead of going back and forth from one parent’s house to another, the children stay put and live in one house. The parents are the ones who rotate in. Dad comes in when it’s his turn to parent. When it’s Mom’s turn, Dad leaves and Mom stays in the house until it’s Dad’s turn again.

The court rarely mandates such an arrangement, so it’s up to the parents to decide if this unique arrangement will work for them. It offers many benefits, especially for the children, but can be difficult for the parents. Here are the pros and cons to consider.

Benefits of Bird’s Nest Custody

The biggest advantage of bird’s nest custody is that it is focused on the children. The children get to stay in the house, so their lives do not get disrupted. This gives children more stability and reduces anxiety.

Communication is also easier for the parents because they both inhabit the home, just at different times. They can simply leave notes for each other or even talk as they switch custody.

A bird’s nest arrangement can save money in some ways. The kids don’t have to have two of everything so they can leave one at each parent’s house. This also means that they won’t lose belongings as they are being shuttled back and forth.

Disadvantages of Bird’s Nest Custody

Probably the biggest issue with bird’s nest custody is the cost of maintaining three separate residences: one for the kids and one for each parent. It’s possible for the parents to share a home as well, since they will be rotating in and out of it, but that can get awkward and cause privacy issues.

Proximity is another consideration. This arrangement won’t work if the parents don’t live near the home. Also, it can make it hard for parents to move on after a divorce. It can be hard to form new relationships if they are living in two separate households.

This arrangement works only for divorces that were amicable. It can get awkward since the parents have to see each other during custody exchanges, and it’s not good for the children to see their parents fighting constantly.

Contact an Aurora Child Custody Lawyer Today

Child custody matters can be complicated. If you’re looking for a custody arrangement that will work best for the kids and parents, contact the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We can offer trusted advice while protecting your legal rights. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Grandparents and Child Custody

Certain circumstances may cause a parent to be unable or unwilling to take proper care of his or her children. When this happens, grandparents often step forward to provide the care and support their grandchildren need. However, grandparents that desire full or partial legal custody of their grandchildren may find themselves fighting an uphill battle.

Natural parents have fundamental rights to be with their children. In order to infringe on a parent’s rights to his or her children, a grandparent must present a compelling argument to support his or her request for custody. Grandparents must have “clear and convincing” evidence that parental custody is not in the best interest of the child.

Can Grandparents Get Child Custody in a Denver Divorce?

There are only a few circumstances in which a grandparent may be given physical and/or legal custody of his or her grandchildren. If a custody case for the child has been filed, grandparents and other third parties are allowed to throw their proverbial hats into the ring. Grandparents may be able to obtain temporary custody of their grandchildren if the parents’ divorce is particularly hostile or volatile. Other situations when a grandparent may request custody of a grandchild include:

  • If a child has been removed from his parents’ home and placed in foster care, grandparents are given priority preference to take physical care of the child, if they are able and willing to do so. (If parents are unmarried or divorced, the child’s other parent has preferential status.)
  • If the grandparent has provided primary care and physical residence for the grandchild for at least six months, the grandparent may request legal responsibility of the child.
  • If the child lived with the grandparent(s) for at least six months, and has been out of their care for no more than six months, the grandparents can ask the court for legal responsibility of the child.
  • If the child is currently in the physical care of someone that is not the child’s parent.

Unlike parents, grandparents have no automatic custody or visitation rights. They must demonstrate to the court that granting these rights would be in the best interest of the child. To determine what is in the child’s best interest, the judge will consider the physical and emotional health, environmental stability, and child’s relationship with each interested party, as well as any reports of child abuse or neglect.

Grandparent Visitation and Colorado Grandparent Custody Laws

If the court finds granting custody to the child’s grandparents is inappropriate, the judge may still decide to grant visitation rights. In Colorado, a grandparent may be allowed legal visitation rights if:

  • the child’s parents are granted a divorce, annulment, or legal separation;
  • legal custody of the child is granted to someone other than his or her parents; or
  • the child’s parent is deceased.

As always, visitation and custody rights are only granted if they are in the best interest of the child.

Call a Denver Grandparent Custody Lawyer

Divorce Matters is a full-service family law firm with locations in Greenwood Village and Lakewood. Contact us to request a consultation.

Co-Parenting During the Holiday Season

Co-parenting isn’t always the easiest to navigate during normal times of the year but when you inject the holidays into the mix it can seem downright impossible. The important thing to keep in mind is that it isn’t really about you or your ex, it’s really about your children. When you remember this, it can help you through anything the holiday season might throw your way. And with a little advanced planning with your co-parent, this holiday season can go off without a hitch!

The biggest thing to remember is that your children are the focus this holiday season. Try to make things as easy as possible for them even if that means you won’t get them on exactly the days that you want. This will require advanced planning between you and your co-parent, seeing which days make sense for whom so that your children get to visit with family and still enjoy their time. This will also require some flexibility on your part in case things don’t go exactly as planned. If you need to go with the flow the stress shouldn’t felt by your children.

You will also want to make sure that you coordinate gifts with your co-parent. Not only do you not want to repeat a gift for your child, but you also want to make sure that you both agree upon a certain level of spend. You’ll want to make sure that one co-parent doesn’t feel alienated because the other buys extravagantly. You also want to show a united front and to do so you must make sure that things off limits in one household aren’t being provided in another.

Finally, make sure that you prioritize a little bit of time for yourself. If you aren’t going to have your children the entire holiday season don’t let that time alone daunt you. Use this time for yourself, to relax and enjoy yourself. Spend some quality time with friends you haven’t seen in a while and catch up. Or you can use the time to take a relaxing bath and watch your favorite movies. Whatever helps you destress, use the time you have alone to do just that and you’ll feel rejuvenated.

Who Gets the Kids for Christmas?

Christmas is often described as a magical time of year, but for divorced parents, the holidays are nothing but stress. Having to share custody of the kids and possibly spend Christmas alone is nobody’s idea of fun. However, many parents are able to work through it and come up with workable custody schedules to ensure that children get to see both parents while on winter break.

”˜Tis the season for compromise. But what if you and the other parent cannot agree on a custody schedule? You may need to discuss the situation with your lawyer and get the courts involved. The courts, however, prefer that parents work it out on their own. When the court has to make the decision, both parents end up losing.

Christmas is a time where kids are off school and parents have time off work. So how can you determine child custody during Christmas in a fair way so you both get time with your children? Here are some ideas.

Split the Days

Christmas encompasses two days: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Since both parents tend to want to celebrate Christmas with the kids, each parent can choose day. One parent can have the kids on Christmas Eve until the evening (say 8 p.m. or 9 p.m.) and then the kids can spend Christmas Day with the other parent. This only works, however, if the parents live close to each other.

One Week at a Time

If you and the other parent live a great distance from each other, you may want to consider having a week with the kids. Kids tend to have two weeks off school during this time, so you can get the first or second week and the other parent can have the other. You can still break it up at Christmas Eve, though, so both parents can see the kids on Christmas.

What to Keep in Mind

Don’t argue with the other parent about every holiday. Think about the holidays that are most important to you and develop a custody schedule from there. You may have to compromise or create new traditions, and that’s OK. Life for you and the children will change to some degree after a divorce.

Also, plan your Christmastime custody schedule well in advance. Don’t tell the kids the day before Christmas what will be happening. You and the other parent should have the schedule nailed down by November. Confirm the schedule via email or phone and print out a hard copy. You may want to give a copy to your lawyer for legal purposes.

Contact a Denver Child Custody Lawyer Today

Child custody matters can be complicated, especially during the holidays. While both parents want to spend Christmas with their children, you might not always get your way. Compromises will need to be made. If you require assistance creating a holiday parenting plan, contact the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We will help you get a favorable outcome. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

When Can I Make a Divorce Plan Modification?

Once the final decree has been entered, most people believe their divorce is over. However, there are some situations in which a divorce settlement or judgment may need to be changed. Keep in mind only certain aspects of your divorce decree can be modified. Court orders involving asset and property distribution are typically unable to be altered. Learn more about when a modification to your divorce order may be appropriate.

Child Custody

Child custody and parenting time are issues that may need to be readdressed as children get older and circumstances change. Either parent may request to modify a child custody order. However, child custody and decision-making orders can only be modified every two years, unless the child’s health and/or emotional development is endangered or a custodial parent is making plans to move far away. You must be able to demonstrate that the modification is in the best interest of the child, as well as show circumstances have changed significantly since the last time the custody order was modified. Keep in mind that adjustments to parenting time may also affect your child support obligations.

Child Support

Child support payments are likely to fluctuate over the course of a child’s life. A parent’s child support obligations are based on the incomes of both parents, the amount of parenting time granted to each parent, and the needs of the child. If any of these factors change, your child support order should be modified to reflect your family’s current situation. You can submit a request to modify your child support order in the following circumstances:

  • your child has been emancipated;
  • either parent has experienced a change in income;
  • the cost of child care, health insurance, or other expenses for the child has changed; or
  • the amount of time the child spends with either parent has changed.

Alimony

Alimony is awarded based on the supported spouse’s needs and the supporting spouse’s ability to pay. If either of these change, a modification may be in order. An alimony agreement might need to be altered if either spouse experiences a drastic change in his or her financial situation. For example, if the supported spouse lands a big-time job with a higher salary than that of the supporting spouse, alimony payments should probably be eliminated or reduced.

Parenting Plans

Parenting plans typically include agreements regarding visitation arrangements, as well as each parent’s support obligations. Many parents also include guidelines for communication, rules for significant others, and lifestyle decisions, such as decisions about the child’s religious observance, medical care, education decisions, and after-school activities. If both parents agree to the modification, they can jointly submit an amended parenting plan to the judge for approval. However, if a dispute between the parents cannot be settled out-of-court, the judge may grant a hearing to consider the proposed modification.

Contact a Denver Divorce Modification Lawyer Today

If you need to change your child custody, child support, or alimony order, contact the experienced family law attorneys at Divorce Matters. Call us at (720) 726-1417 or fill out the online contact form to request a consultation at our Greenwood Village or Lakewood locations.

Paternity, DNA & Old Wives Tales

Sure, you thought that DNA test would prove paternity once and for all right? Wrong. When unmarried couples bear children, the father is not automatically entitled to have his name on the birth certificate.  A father can have his name on the birth certificate simply by proving though a paternity action he is the biological father. A father can also have his name placed on the birth certificate if he signs a written acknowledgement of paternity. You can acknowledge paternity even if you are not the biological father.
This signed acknowledgement of paternity can be challenged within 60 days. After 60 days, a signed acknowledgement of paternity can be challenged only on the basis of fraud, duress or material mistake of fact. If a man signs an acknowledgement of paternity then that man can become liable for child support even if he is not the biological father.
If you say you are the father in writing, it may be very difficult to avoid paying child support later on even if DNA evidence proves otherwise. This is because a signed acknowledgement of paternity is extremely difficult to set aside after 60 days.

New School Year, New Routine

Bill Leeper and Shirley Jenkins - Home and Real Estate Divorce Specialists

It’s that time of year when school is right around the corner and your children are gearing up for the new year. This can be a particularly difficult time of year if you are going through or have been through divorce. Here are a few quick tips on how to keep everything running smoothly for your children as they adjust to their new schedules after a summer of freedom.

  • Try to tell your child’s guidance counselor and teachers what is going on. This will allow them to understand your child’s behavior if they begin to exhibit signs of mood changes and behavioral issues. No need to overshare here, just let them know what is happening.
  • Consistency is incredibly important, especially for younger children, so make sure that you stick to the custody plan in place. Communication will be key for smooth drop-offs and pick-ups so make sure you have a reliable means of communicating in a way that doesn’t cause misunderstandings.
  • Routine is healthy for children, it keeps their days structured and teaches them responsibility. Try to keep their evening routines as consistent as possible between households. Things such as bedtime, brushing their teeth, cleaning their room and regular dinners are all a part of their routine and consistency will help them feel like their days are structured and under control no matter which house they are staying at that day.

These are just a few quick tips to help you as the new school year approaches and your child’s schedule gears up to change. Don’t forget to tell your children to enjoy the last bit of summer while they can!

How To Give Your Child Emotional Support Through Divorce

Different colored hands with hearts on the palm

If you are facing divorce or perhaps already going through it, then you know that no matter what happens it will be something that affects your children. This is perfectly normal and there is a natural grieving process that they will go through as they deal with their emotions around your separation. There are ways you can help make sure that your children have the support they need during this time.

The first is to make sure that they know you are there if they need to talk about it. The urge to keep it hush-hush can be strong if you feel like avoiding the topic would be less painful for them. However, letting them know you are available to talk to about it without forcing them to gives them the space they need to process their emotions and feel safe enough to approach you if they have questions or need to share something.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to try and work out an amicable and conflict free co-parenting plan. Of course, this isn’t always an option depending on the individual situation but if you can work to settle your differences with your ex-spouse for the sake of your kids it will go a really long way in helping them deal with their emotions about the divorce.

Finally, don’t be afraid to get yourself and/or your child professional help if either of you find that you continue to struggle with the divorce in a manner that seems unhealthy. Talking to a counselor or therapist is a great way to learn the tools needed to cope with the stress associated with divorce.

Enjoying Time With Your Children On A Single Parent’s Budget

Jack Duggan

After divorce money can be tight on a single parent’s budget, but you know how important it is that you still spend time participating in activities with your children. You just don’t have to break the bank to do it! There are plenty of fun ways to spend time with your little ones without spending a ton.

One of those ways is to take your kids out on a hike. Plan your route ahead of time based on their experience and how far they can go and then spend the time on your hike pointing out wildlife and spending quality time catching up with them. If you are feeling particularly adventurous you might even bring a tent along and spend an evening with them around the campfire.

Another great way to spend time with your kiddos is to have a movie night in! Grab a couple of age-appropriate classics and settle in with some popcorn and candy. You could even set up a fun fort with them ahead of time for them to watch the movie from.

Perhaps your kids are old enough to begin teaching them how to cook. This is a great time to start showing them the basics of nutrition and the importance of home-cooked meals. Talk them through the recipes and cooking processes as you go and eventually have them start doing it. Soon enough they will know how to cook for themselves in a safe and nutritious manner.

There are always great ways to spend time together with your children enjoying new experiences, don’t be afraid to get out there and find them!

If you are looking to find out more about what your maintenance or child support might look like when going through a divorce so you can better plan for your financial future, Divorce Matters offers a free app that can help. Visit us at www.divorce-matters.com/apps and visit either the Google Play or iTunes stores to download our free Child Support and Maintenance Calculator App.

Parenting Mistakes To Avoid When Going Through Divorce

Emily Ahnell - Partner and Managing Attorney

Divorce can be difficult on your family but it is extremely important not to find yourself hurting your children in the process. They are most important to protect during this time of transition and there are a few things to remind yourself of every time you are interacting with them.

First, make sure you understand the terms of your custody agreement. If you want to make changes be sure to go through the proper channels to make those changes. If you feel like your custody agreement isn’t being honored or you’d like to make changes, contact your divorce attorney for more information.

Second, don’t try and force them to take sides between you and your ex, no matter what your situation is. They are too young to be handling anything of this emotional magnitude and as their parent it is your place to protect them from this strife as much as possible. To them, they still have two parents and might want to keep it that way no matter what you want. Allow them the space to express what they want without trying to influence them.

Another very important piece of advice to follow, do not bad mouth your ex-partner in front of your children. Not only can this be psychologically damaging to them, but it can also cause rifts between you and them or your spouse and them. This action can come back to hurt you in future custody proceedings.

Finally, try to not let the stress of the divorce and its toll on you affect your relationship with your children. As difficult as it may be right now, protecting your relationship with your children is paramount and your children can be a source of comfort and love.