Do You Need To Discuss Your Divorce In Your Workplace?

Divorce is an already difficult situation, and when you are facing work on Monday it can seem even more daunting. What are you supposed to share with your co-workers and what should you keep to yourself? Should you share the news you are going through a divorce with your boss or human resources?
Eventually you will let human resources know about your divorce, mostly for practical reasons as you will need to update a lot of your benefits paperwork once the divorce is finalized. You may also want to share the news privately with your direct superior so that they understand what is going on when you have to take time off for things such as mediation or attorney meetings.
When it comes to speaking about it with your co-workers in general, you will want to exercise discretion. Are you a person who is very close to your co-workers? Some people will have developed close friendships with some of their co-workers independent of their professional relationship. If this is the case, feel free to share what you are comfortable sharing. However, do not feel obligated to share it with every one of your coworkers.

Budgeting For Life After Divorce

Colorado divorce attorney

Creating a monthly budget can help you reign in your finances when you are going through a divorce. This can be incredibly helpful to keep you on track and ensure you don’t end up racking up debt on your credit cards. It also helps you keep moving towards your financial goals in a positive direction.

Your first step is going to be evaluating what your total net income is. Many people make the mistake of thinking about their income before taxes as their take-home pay when in reality you have to consider that taxes, social security, benefits, and retirement savings are taken out of your gross monthly income before your money is deposited into your bank account. The number you want to use is the number you get after all of these things are taken out of your paycheck.

Take a month to track your spending and at the end of the month categorize all of your expenses. Things such as gas, utilities, and your rent/mortgage are necessities that must be accounted for monthly. Things such as groceries and your cable bill can be categorized as adjustable’s. These are items that you could probably economize your spending with if need be. Finally, you have your expendables. These are items such as dinners out or the movies, these are items that you could eliminate and are not necessary spending.

During this month take the time to focus on what your financial goals are. Do you want to contribute to your retirement fund? Are you trying to pay off a credit card? Do you need to save for a down payment for a new home? Answer these questions for yourself so you know how to prioritize your spending and your budget.

Now you can go in and see after your necessities how much extra money you have left to spend. Here you can make adjustments to your list of expendable items first and then work towards lowering your adjustable’s as well so that at the end of the month you have enough left over to put towards your financial goals. By making these adjustments to your budget and sticking to them you are able to move steadily in the right direction.

*If you had retirement funds when you were married that when you divorced resulted in a QDRO, our attorney Ashley Balicki can help you with the division of those assets. She is specially qualified to help with these financial matters. Call Divorce Matters at 720-542-6142 to schedule a consultation with her today.

How Exercise Can Help You Through Your Divorce

Conor Stewartson

Exercise can be an immense source of relief when you’re going through a divorce. It’s a great way to keep yourself in shape and feeling confident. It also helps that exercise is known to be a reliever of stress and releases endorphins to help boost your mood. All of these benefits, AND it will reduce your risk of a plethora of diseases later on in life””so the real question is, if you aren’t already doing it, why not start adding more exercise into your routine?

It might seem difficult when you have kids to take care of, a job you work 40 hours a week at, and chores to be done. However, there are ways you can sneak in your daily dose of exercise without adding to your stress. The first one is easiest if you have children who are active themselves. Join in the play! Get outside and kick the soccer ball around with them or join in a game of tag. The easiest solution when you have kids and no time is to make it work is by having your cake and eating it too”¦figuratively, of course!

Another solution, if you are an early riser, is to set your alarm clock just a half an hour earlier and get out there and go for a jog first thing in the morning. The exercise has the added benefit of possibly kicking that caffeine addiction to the curb too, as you will feel more alert after an early morning workout.

Finally, if neither of these solutions are an option for you it might just be the case that you will have to prioritize and make time for it. Focus on all of the positive benefits just 30 minutes of working out three to five times a week will have for your present and your future. A lot of gyms actually have nurseries where you can bring your kids to stay while you squeeze in your workout. While your kids might not like it at first they will adjust, and in the long run, you sticking with your health routine is only going to benefit them.

Exercise is an important aspect of our health and creating a routine that involves incorporating it into your life is going to keep you healthy and set a positive example for your children as well. So what are you waiting for”¦get out there!

The Divorce Process, Part 2: Who Is Allowed To File For Divorce?

Miranda Bouchey - Attorney

Just because you are married and live in Colorado does not mean that you are automatically allowed to petition for divorce in the state. You must first make sure that you are following Colorado’s dissolution of marriage laws. To prevent your case from being dismissed, one thing you’ll have to make sure of is that you meet the residency requirements for divorcing in Colorado.

It is a common misconception that you must file for divorce in the state that you were married in. This is a myth; the majority of divorce cases are filed in the county in which the party petitioning for divorce lives. But it’s not enough to simply have an address in Colorado to file for a Colorado divorce. Here are the requirements, according to Colorado law:

  • The district court shall enter a decree of dissolution of marriage when: The court finds that one of the parties has been domiciled in this state for ninety days next preceding the commencement of the proceeding.
  • The dissolution of marriage may be filed in the county in which the petitioner or respondent resides. (Colorado Statutes – Article 10 – Sections: 14-10-106)

In more layman’s terms, for a divorce petition to be valid in the state, at least one spouse must have an established home in Colorado for at least 90 days. However, an established domicile does not necessarily mean a physical presence. The term “domicile” can be thought of more as a matter of intent than a matter of having a street number. This is because not all Colorado residents are present in Colorado at all times. If you work for the military, for example, and are stationed in San Diego but have had a Colorado address for longer than three months, often the courts will consider that sufficient intent to create domicile in Colorado. Other actions that indicate intent to create domicile include changing your mailing address to a Colorado address, maintaining voter registration in the state, registering your car in the state, etc., even if you are not currently present in the state.

Our Denver family lawyers seek to provide exceptional client experiences for clients throughout Colorado.

The Divorce Process, Part 1: Grounds For Divorce

Mark Smith

Do Colorado couples have to prove anything to get a divorce? There are two lines of thinking in the United States when it comes to divorce. All 50 states allow for “no-fault” divorce, which is divorce where neither party has to prove anything beyond that the marriage is irreparably broken.

There are 32 states that allow some form of “fault” divorce. In these divorces, one party can prove grounds for divorce such as cruelty, adultery, desertion or confinement in prison for a set number of years (it varies by state which forms of fault are accepted). For fault divorces, the goal is generally for the aggrieved party to seek a greater portion of marital property or support.

Colorado is strictly a no-fault state for divorce. This means that either spouse can petition for a divorce (also known as a dissolution of marriage) or a legal separation and only needs to show that there are irreconcilable differences between the spouses.

Because we are a no-fault state, the courts like to keep divorce cases clean, meaning they usually will not allow either spouse to present evidence of wrongdoing on the part of the other spouse. There are exceptions when the wrongdoing has the potential to affect other issues. For example, if there is any spousal or child abuse happening, the victim can present this evidence to be taken into account when the court makes decisions on parenting time (child custody).

Note that these rules only cover dissolution of marriage and legal separation, not annulments. Annulments are a separate legal process from divorce and will not be covered in this series on the divorce process in Colorado.

On Friday, we’ll discuss another issue of the divorce process ”“ who is actually allowed to file for divorce in Colorado?

Our Denver family law attorneys are willing to assist you no matter where in the divorce process you are.

Protecting Your Marriage From Money Problems

Money is one of the most popular points of contention for married couples. Studies show that the more frequently a couple fights over money, the more likely they are to divorce, especially if the money battles happen every day or every other day. There are a lot of things that couples fight about ”“ the kids, the chores, the in-laws ”“ but above all, the frequency of money disputes is the single biggest predictor of divorce. Knowing that, here are some basic tips to help keep your financial situation civil and productive:

  1. Communication is key. Have a regular meeting time with your spouse to discuss all matters of family finances, including income, expenditures, bills and plans for the future. One a month is a good schedule to follow, perhaps around the time bills are due, but every two weeks may be better for you.
  2. It might be hard, but make a budget. It’s much easier to spend money you shouldn’t be spending if you don’t have some sort of roadmap for your finances.
  3. Each party should have a separate account for discretionary income. Think of it like an allowance, something you give to yourself in case you want to treat yourself someday without angering your spouse.

It is critical when discussing money issues with the spouse to keep an open mind. You’re not engaged in some mortal battle for the fate of your wallet. It is about understanding your own and your partner’s outlook on money and the role it plays in your lives together. Be willing to adopt a positive mindset, search for common ground and know that compromise is the name of the game.

Our Denver divorce law firm serves clients throughout the state of Colorado.

Hot New Divorce Trend: Burning the Dress

The last few years have seen several social media-driven divorce trends. We’ve celebrated singlehood with divorce parties and we’ve shared divorce selfies on Twitter and Facebook. But a growing new trend may prove to be the hottest yet. Literally ”“ we’re talking about lighting wedding dresses on fire. Trash the dress ceremonies are nothing new, and we’re sure this trend isn’t the first time someone came up with the idea to burn the dress, but thanks to social media, we’re seeing it more and more.

Some claim that burning the dress is an important symbol of starting anew, like a phoenix reborn from ashes. Others say it’s an important catharsis that allows former brides to release pent up rage. Others use it as an excuse for photo shoots and marshmallow roasting. Whatever the reason, many brides are embracing the flame. The trend has even reached the music industry ”“ in Mariah Carey’s video for her new song “I Don’t,” Mariah tosses a $250,000 custom Valentino dress into a fire pit. The dress was the one she planned to wear for her wedding with James Packer, which Packer called off late last year due to Mariah’s lavish spending habits.

Should I Burn The Dress?

Lighting stuff on fire is fun, sure. But is there something more constructive that can be done with an old wedding dress?

After all, wedding dresses can be quite expensive. If you can’t stand the look of your dress hanging up in your closet, consider alternatives to total destruction. Donate your dress to someone less fortunate or have the fabric turned into something else.

Denver divorce attorneys ready and willing to assist you in matters of family law including custody disputes, division of property and pre/postnuptial agreements.

Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen Not Divorcing After All?

Retired NBA legend Scottie Pippen filed for divorce from wife Larsa Pippen of Real Housewives of Miami about three months ago. The two were married for 20 years before the announcement, which came a few days after Fort Lauderdale police responded to disturbances at their residence twice.

What caused the split? Some sources suggested infidelity on one or both party’s parts was the cause. Some sources say Scottie’s open flirtation with an actress led to Larsa acting out, while others say that Larsa’s relationship with rapper Future was far too cozy.

Larsa recently posted a Snapchat photo of a stunning 14-carat ring, a Valentine’s Day gift (from who, she would not say), sparking rumors that the two were reconciling. Now, sources close to the two have said that both missed deadlines for their divorce process and that the two are working out their problems.

Is It Worth It To Try To Make My Failing Marriage Work?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether a couple should bite the bullet and file for divorce, or if they should try to work it out. Consider the following if you are unsure:

  1. Have you sought marriage counseling? Communication can be difficult, especially when two spouses don’t see eye to eye. A counselor can help.
  2. Have you and your spouse isolated the real problems each of you has with your marriage?
  3. How well do the two of you listen to one another?
  4. Are you two able to compromise and find time to enjoy together?
  5. When you fight, is it more productive or destructive?
  6. Are you and your spouse able to let grudges go?
  7. Are you working toward the same goal?
  8. Are you willing to work out the issues?

Answering these questions won’t give you your answer, but it will help you make a more informed decision.

If you have any questions regarding an upcoming divorce and require legal assistance, our Denver divorce lawyers are ready to help.

What’s Causing The Increase In Gray Divorce?

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The winter weather isn’t the only thing that’s gray in the country ”“ according to studies, divorce for people over 55 has been steadily increasing over the few decades. “Gray divorce,” as senior divorce is sometimes called, doubled among people aged 55 to 64 from 1990 to 2012. In that same time, the rate tripled for people 65 and older. What’s going on? Why are so many senior couples deciding to call it quits?

One theory says that gray divorce is on the rise because society no longer views divorce as the taboo subject it once was. It’s common to hear that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (though the number has not been that high for a long time), so perhaps societal views have taken an “everyone’s doing it” tone that makes couples more willing to divorce.

Another possible reason: keeping it together for the kids. Some people decide to stay married until the children are out of the house, and by the time the children are out living on their own, the parents are approaching that age where gray divorce is a possibility.

Preparing For Gray Divorce

Couples who divorce young have an easier time rebuilding their finances than those who divorce as seniors. Seniors often don’t have very many working years left to recoup. Here are just a few tips to help soften the financial blow of gray divorce:

  1. Know the tax implications of your divorce settlement. Try to avoid tax penalties and look into a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to help protect your retirement funds from taxes if and when they are divided.
  2. Manage your savings. Look into your 401(k) or IRA and have realistic expectations of your budget moving forward.
  3.  If you were married for over 10 years, you are eligible for spousal benefits through the Social Security Administration. This can be especially helpful if one party in the marriage did not work as much as the other.

If you are seeking the services of a Colorado divorce attorney familiar with the nuances of senior divorce, our law firm can help.

Enjoy Your Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and for those who are recently divorced this can be an unwelcome holiday that feels like it only serves as a reminder of your divorce. Divorce is already hard enough as it is without a holiday that seems to rub salt on the wound. It would be easy enough to decide you just want a night in with you, Ben & Jerry’s but before you shut yourself in and completely fall down the rabbit hole, try these few suggestions to save the holiday for yourself.

One way to overcome sadness and stress is to exercise. Why not actually start that workout regimen you promised yourself you would begin on January 1st? Exercise is scientifically proven to reduce stress and help with depression. It is also a good way to take care of yourself. So instead of curling up on the couch in defeat, get out there and go for a run.

Another great way to spend the evening is to invite some of your closest friends out for a friends’ dinner. Choose a restaurant that takes reservations and make sure to reserve a table large enough for your group. Don’t get caught up trying to book a table at the “trendiest” spot downtown. Instead, opt for a favorite where you know it will be good and enjoy the company of your close friends.

Finally, if you really want to go it alone and spend the night in, treat yourself! Ahead of the evening, go and buy the ingredients for your favorite recipe. Spend the time cooking a delicious meal for yourself and watching a favorite movie or settling in with a book you’ve been meaning to read.

The most important thing to remember about Valentine’s Day is that it is meant to be a holiday to spend with loved ones. This doesn’t mean it has to be a significant other, that love can extend to your friends and family as well.