When Would I Need a Collaborative Divorce Lawyer?

Collaborative Divorce: What You Need to Know

Divorce can often be a difficult, emotionally charged process, but it doesn’t always have to end in courtroom drama. More and more couples are choosing to settle their differences outside of court, and one of the most popular alternatives is a collaborative divorce. A collaborative divorce allows both parties to work together with their lawyers to come to an agreement on key issues without the need for a judge to intervene. This blog will help you understand collaborative divorce, its benefits and drawbacks, if it’s the right choice for you, and how to contact a collaborative divorce lawyer at Divorce Matters®.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce is a form of divorce in which both spouses and their respective attorneys work together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement without going to court. The process is designed to be amicable, allowing both parties to settle their differences respectfully and constructively. In a collaborative divorce, the couple works together, along with a collaborative divorce lawyer, to resolve issues such as asset division, child custody, and support arrangements.

A collaborative divorce is similar to mediation, with both parties looking to settle outside of court. However, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce lawyer, who is available to offer advice and help the parties reach an agreement. If the process is not working, however, the lawyers must withdraw. The parties must then choose new lawyers and go through a traditional divorce.

The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

A collaborative divorce offers several advantages that make it an attractive option for many couples who want to avoid the contentiousness of a traditional divorce. Here are some of the key benefits:

1. Speed and Flexibility

Since the process takes place outside of the courtroom, there is no need to wait for court dates or be bound by the court’s schedule. This flexibility allows for a more efficient process, helping both parties move forward with their lives.

2. Control Over the Outcome

In a collaborative divorce, both spouses have the opportunity to actively participate in the decision-making process, giving them more control over the outcome. Unlike a court trial where a judge makes the final decisions, in a collaborative divorce, the couple has the power to agree on asset division, child custody arrangements, and other critical issues that affect their future.

3. Reduced Emotional Stress

Collaborative divorce is designed to be less confrontational than traditional divorce proceedings. By focusing on cooperation rather than competition, the process can reduce the emotional toll on both parties. This is particularly beneficial if you have children and want to minimize the impact of the divorce on them. A more amicable process can help preserve the relationship between the spouses, making it easier to co-parent in the future.

4. Confidentiality

Collaborative divorce proceedings are private, unlike court trials which are a matter of public record. This allows both spouses to discuss sensitive issues without the fear of their matters becoming public knowledge.

Disadvantages of Collaborative Divorce

While a collaborative divorce can be an excellent choice for many couples, it is not the right option for everyone. There are some potential disadvantages and risks that you should be aware of before deciding whether to proceed with this approach.

1. Not Suitable for High-Conflict Couples

A collaborative divorce requires both parties to work together in a cooperative manner. If you and your spouse are unable to communicate effectively or if there is significant conflict, the process may not be successful.

2. Power Imbalances

There is also the concern that in a collaborative divorce, cases of domestic violence, mental illness, and substance abuse will go unnoticed. People in these categories are often unable to make sound decisions, so this could lead to one party making decisions and receiving a greater share of the assets.

3. Full Disclosure Is Required

In a collaborative divorce, both parties are required to fully disclose all assets, debts, and financial information. While this promotes transparency, it can be a challenge. Many people hide larger assets so they cannot be split in a divorce, so this can be an issue. Both spouses also must work to communicate openly and honestly.

4. Potential for Disruption

If the process fails and the parties are unable to come to an agreement, each collaborative divorce lawyer must withdraw from the case. The couple will then need to start over with new attorneys and may have to go through a lengthy and costly traditional divorce. This risk should be carefully considered before deciding whether to proceed with a collaborative divorce.

5. Potential Expenses

While collaborative divorce does save some money by not entering the courtroom, there are other costs that can come up. These include the cost of hiring a psychologist to help decide the best interests of children or hiring a financial planner to help determine how to divide assets.

Deciding if Collaborative Divorce Is Right for You

So, how do you know if a collaborative divorce is the right choice for your situation? Here are some factors to consider:

  • Willingness to Cooperate: If you and your spouse can communicate openly and are willing to work together to find a mutually beneficial solution, a collaborative divorce may be a good fit. If there is an ongoing conflict or a lack of trust, it may be difficult to make the process work.
  • Desire for Control: A collaborative divorce allows both parties to have more control over the outcome. If you want to avoid a judge making decisions about your life, collaborative divorce allows you to shape your future.
  • Financial and Emotional Considerations: A collaborative divorce tends to be faster and less expensive than a traditional divorce, making it a more financially viable option. Additionally, the less-adversarial nature of the process can reduce emotional stress, which can be particularly important if children are involved.
  • Safety and Fairness: If there are concerns about domestic violence or other power imbalances, it is important to assess whether collaborative divorce is safe and fair for both parties. If one spouse feels threatened or coerced, other options, such as traditional litigation, may be necessary.

A collaborative divorce is a good choice for couples who are willing to cooperate. However, divorce brings out heightened emotions, and if working together with your spouse doesn’t sound possible, a collaborative divorce may not work for you.

Conclusion

A collaborative divorce can be beneficial for many divorcing couples, but it’s not the ideal solution for everyone. The attorneys at Divorce Matters® can pair you with a collaborative divorce lawyer to determine if this solution is right for you. Collaborative law has its limits, but if you want to avoid going to court and feel that you and your spouse can agree on key issues, it may work for you.

If you’re wondering if collaborative divorce is the right way to go, consult with an experienced collaborative divorce lawyer to help you navigate the process and make an informed decision.

When Should I Get Divorced?

As experienced Denver divorce attorneys, one of the most common questions we hear from clients concerns the timing of their divorce. While this will depend on the specific circumstances surrounding your case, the following are ramifications you will want to consider.

The Best Time of Year to Get a Divorce

If you experience issues in your marriage such as a spouse’s alcohol or drug use and domestic violence, you may need to act quickly to protect your family’s safety and well being. If your breakup is more about long-simmering resentments or disagreements that have caused you to grow apart, giving thought to the timing of your divorce is a smart move.

Due to Internal Revenue Service (IRS) tax laws regarding filing status, January is often considered the best time for getting a divorce:

  • If you were separated or filed for divorce on December 31st or at any prior time during the year but your divorce was not finalized, you are considered as married for the entire year and can file a joint return.
  • If your divorce was finalized on December 31 or any time prior in the year, you are considered unmarried and are required to file as a single taxpayer.

Filing status can have a significant impact on taxes you may be required to pay or refunds you may be owed and is a common reason for timing a divorce.

Other Considerations in Timing Your Divorce

In addition to tax ramifications, there are other important issues to consider in deciding when to file for divorce. Under the Colorado Dissolution of Marriage Act (C.R.S. 14-10), couples must meet residency requirements, but since Colorado is a ”˜no fault’ state, the only grounds for divorce are irreconcilable differences.

While fault grounds such as adultery, habitual drunkenness, desertion, and mental cruelty do not impact your ability to get a divorce, they can have an effect on issues such as property division, child custody, and spousal support. Remaining married to a spouse who has engaged in these types of behaviors may be viewed as condonation, meaning that you either forgive your spouse or accept their acts. Other issues to consider in timing your divorce include:

  • Impact on children: If you have small children, you may be reluctant to separate over the holiday or during their school breaks. At the same time, custody issues due to a divorce during the school year could necessitate a change in school districts.  
  • Financial preparedness: Prior to filing for divorce, it is best to be financially prepared. In addition to finding housing that is affordable on one income, you will want to have your own bank accounts and lines of credit established, make copies of important documents, and conduct a thorough inventory of all marital property and assets.  

When determining when the time is right for you to seek a divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced Colorado divorce attorney. Call or contact Divorce Matters online and request a consultation today. Serving Denver and the surrounding areas, we provide the trusted legal advice you need to protect yourself and your family.

Divorcing a Narcissist

We all have heard of narcissists and some of us have probably dealt with one at some time or another. Unfortunately, some of us may be married to one, or maybe in the process of divorcing one.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. Narcissists are vain and think of themselves very highly. They are callous and do not care about the feelings of others. They are concerned primarily about themselves. They have a need for constant admiration as if they are a celebrity. They also feel entitled to everything and cannot handle criticism well.

So when you divorce the narcissist, be prepared to see your spouse portray himself or herself at the victim and you as the most horrible person in the world. While this portrayal will likely make you extremely upset, the worst thing you can do is react emotionally. Why? Because narcissists don’t care about the feelings of others. You’re just making things worse for yourself.

A narcissist will try to take the divorce all the way to court to let a judge decide. This seems like a poor strategy, but in the eyes of the narcissist, it’s better to have an unfavorable outcome when someone else has the control than to give up control unwillingly. This may not make sense at all, but that’s how the mind of a narcissist works.

Divorce Tips

So what can you do to avoid your spouse’s drama and get your divorce finalized quickly? Here are some suggestions:

  • Let your lawyer know about your narcissistic spouse. Most lawyers have experience dealing with this type of person, but if not, find someone who is. You need to have the right strategy.
  • Establish goals.What do you want to accomplish in the end? Determine what battles you want to fight, because some are small and not worth fighting.
  • Listen and ask questions. Don’t have preconceived ideas. Learn more about your spouse’s point of view and set reasonable expectations.
  • Document everything. Your spouse will tell lies. You can negate these lies by having receipts and other documents to back up your claims.
  • Be objective. Play devil’s advocate. What arguments will your spouse use against you to make you look like the bad guy? Think ahead so your lawyer can help you avoid hurting your case.
  • Be reasonable. Your spouse wants you to enrage you. Don’t let him or her do it. Don’t think with your feelings. Use law and facts to create an argument that is logical and reasonable.

Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney Today

Being married to a narcissist can be frustrating, but divorcing one can be even worse. Your spouse will try to manipulate you and refuse to settle outside of court. He or she will make your divorce a nightmare. Get help by contacting the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We can help create an agreement that will allow you to settle outside of court without the drama. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

A Denver Divorce Timeline

No one enjoys getting divorced. The end of your marriage may have caught you by surprise, or it could have been a long time coming. However, once divorce becomes inevitable, most people want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, state laws, legal procedures, and the negotiation process may slow you down on the road to newfound singledom. Find out how long a typical divorce usually takes in Denver and what to avoid if you are looking for a speedy divorce.

How Long Does a Divorce Take? Denver Divorce Laws

The timeline for divorce varies significantly from state to state. Most states have residency requirements which determine how long a person must live within its borders before the state will grant jurisdiction over his or her divorce. In Colorado, at least one spouse must have been domiciled in state for at least 90 days before they can file for divorce.

Colorado state law also requires a 90-day waiting period from the time the divorce petition is filed before the court can finalize a divorce order. At minimum, a simple, uncontested divorce will take about three months. Spouses can forego the waiting period if they have been legally separated for at least six months.

Once the initial divorce filing and summons have been submitted, both spouses have 20 days to submit their financial disclosures, although this may be extended to 40 days if a response is not received from the non-filing spouse. Couples with children will also need to take a parenting course. If all required paperwork is submitted and an agreeable divorce settlement has been reached before the 90-day waiting period is complete, a final divorce decree can be entered and signed by the judge.

The Divorce Court Process in Denver

If you have children, significant assets to disclose, or want to pursue alimony, the divorce process can take much longer than 90 days. An average divorce timeline in Denver is about six to twelve months.

Contested divorces, especially those involving child custody and visitation, may require multiple hearings and/or temporary orders. These courtroom procedures extend the length of your divorce process. If your divorce goes to trial, you can expect the entire process to take one to two years.

Negotiating a Divorce Settlement

The good news is most divorces will reach a settlement before they ever go to trial. The negotiation process can still go on for quite a while, especially if the spouses are very far apart in terms of agreement. The easiest way to speed up the negotiations process is to work amicably with your spouse and be willing to compromise. Negotiations move faster when both spouses are cooperative and motivated. Consider using alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation, to reach a mutually agreeable settlement.

Denver Colorado Divorce Lawyers

If you are considering divorce, it is important to consult a qualified Denver divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Divorce Matters is a Denver-based law firm exclusively dedicated to divorce and family law matters. Contact us today to schedule a consultation in our Greenwood Village or Lakewood locations.

Co-Parenting During the Holiday Season

Co-parenting isn’t always the easiest to navigate during normal times of the year but when you inject the holidays into the mix it can seem downright impossible. The important thing to keep in mind is that it isn’t really about you or your ex, it’s really about your children. When you remember this, it can help you through anything the holiday season might throw your way. And with a little advanced planning with your co-parent, this holiday season can go off without a hitch!

The biggest thing to remember is that your children are the focus this holiday season. Try to make things as easy as possible for them even if that means you won’t get them on exactly the days that you want. This will require advanced planning between you and your co-parent, seeing which days make sense for whom so that your children get to visit with family and still enjoy their time. This will also require some flexibility on your part in case things don’t go exactly as planned. If you need to go with the flow the stress shouldn’t felt by your children.

You will also want to make sure that you coordinate gifts with your co-parent. Not only do you not want to repeat a gift for your child, but you also want to make sure that you both agree upon a certain level of spend. You’ll want to make sure that one co-parent doesn’t feel alienated because the other buys extravagantly. You also want to show a united front and to do so you must make sure that things off limits in one household aren’t being provided in another.

Finally, make sure that you prioritize a little bit of time for yourself. If you aren’t going to have your children the entire holiday season don’t let that time alone daunt you. Use this time for yourself, to relax and enjoy yourself. Spend some quality time with friends you haven’t seen in a while and catch up. Or you can use the time to take a relaxing bath and watch your favorite movies. Whatever helps you destress, use the time you have alone to do just that and you’ll feel rejuvenated.

Coping With Divorce Through the Holidays

For most people, the holidays evoke thoughts of family togetherness. This can be hard if you’re experiencing your first holiday season since a divorce. You won’t have a partner in the home, and the children may be spending time with the other parent. This means you might be spending a day like Christmas alone.

This can seem depressing, but it doesn’t have to be that way. After a divorce, you no longer have to follow previous family traditions. Feel free to be flexible and create your own. Focus on happiness and love this holiday season and you’ll look forward to the holidays every year.

Be Patient

Things may not go as planned during your first holiday as a single parent. Emotions may be still running high. You may be fighting over custody with the other parent. Don’t get overwhelmed. Get rid of the pressure involved with the holidays and go easy on yourself. Trust that things will get better as time goes on.

Be Flexible

Don’t feel like you need to be set in your ways. For example, Christmas doesn’t have to occur on December 25. If the other parent insists on having the kids for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it’s not the end of the world. You can celebrate with the kids before or after. As an added bonus, your kids will get two Christmases, which might seem fun.

This means you’ll need to be flexible with your plans as well. In the past, Christmas may have revolved around the kids, so spend this Christmas doing something for yourself. Go visit friends. Go see a movie. Sart new traditions by doing something that makes you happy.

Be Cooperative

Be amicable toward the other parent for the sake of your children. Fighting during the holidays only adds more stress to the situation. Push your negative feelings aside and make the holidays a wonderful time of year for the kids. Find a way to compromise and work things out without the bitterness.

Don’t Feel Isolated

Many people want to help loved ones during the holidays, so you’ll likely get invitations to spend holidays with friends, neighbors and loved ones. Take advantage of the opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with others. It will keep you busy and get your mind off the divorce and your emotions.

Help Others

Volunteering at your church or in your community or simply helping a neighbor in need will help you recognize that there are people who are less fortunate than you. Reach out and see how you can help others this holiday season. Your recipient will be grateful to you, and you’ll feel better about yourself as well. It’s a win-win situation!

An Attorney Can Help with Holidays and Divorce

The holidays can seem lonely and depressing after a divorce. With the right attitude, you can make this holiday season a positive and memorable one. By being proactive and adjusting to the changes, you can enjoy time with friends, family members are even yourself. Contact the Aurora divorce attorneys at Divorce Matters for more help with surviving the holidays. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Domestic Violence Laws in Colorado

Colorado has a very broad criminal definition of domestic violence.  This is designed to provide the greatest amount of protection for a victim of domestic violence and gives the police the greatest latitude to arrest someone.  Colorado criminal law defines domestic violence as “an act or threatened an act of violence upon a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship.”  As you can see this is a very broad definition.

It’s Not Just Married Couples

An intimate relationship does not mean you have to be married. It applies to couples and even boyfriends and girlfriends, it even applies to past lovers as well as the present.  It also applies to children, grandchildren, and others present in the household. Again, the idea provides maximum protection to the broadest possible group living in a household or making up a domestic unit.

Recognizing Domestic Violence

Because Domestic Violence includes a “threatened act” of violence very common situations can be construed as a criminal act including:

  • Throwing things at someone
  • Grabbing or pushing
  • Following someone around
  • Threatening or harassing phone calls.

There does not have to be actual physical touching or even physical harm. The threat of harm can be enough and the threat of harm does not have to be in person. Emails, phone calls, text messages are all sufficient to be charged with domestic violence crime.   Texts to Ex’s can be domestic violence if they are threatening or harassing.

Contact a Denver Domestic Violence Lawyer for Help

If you feel like you are in domestic violence situation, call the police or reach out to the appropriate helpline to get the help you need. Don’t let an abusive partner control your life, get out of the bad situations and let the family law attorneys at Divorce Matters help!

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Ways to Unwind After Divorce

After a divorce it is important not to forget to take care of yourself and make sure that you are doing things to help propel you into your new future. Here are a few quick and easy ways you can indulge yourself just a little bit:

  • Take a day trip somewhere on your own
  • Reconnect with your friends and family
  • Buy a little something you’ve always wanted (nothing too crazy!)
  • Take yourself to the spa
  • Start working out, it reduces anxiety and fights depression
  • Try something new, whether it is a hair cut, a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or that play you always wanted to go see

How Exercise Can Help You Through Your Divorce

Conor Stewartson

Exercise can be an immense source of relief when you’re going through a divorce. It’s a great way to keep yourself in shape and feeling confident. It also helps that exercise is known to be a reliever of stress and releases endorphins to help boost your mood. All of these benefits, AND it will reduce your risk of a plethora of diseases later on in life””so the real question is, if you aren’t already doing it, why not start adding more exercise into your routine?

It might seem difficult when you have kids to take care of, a job you work 40 hours a week at, and chores to be done. However, there are ways you can sneak in your daily dose of exercise without adding to your stress. The first one is easiest if you have children who are active themselves. Join in the play! Get outside and kick the soccer ball around with them or join in a game of tag. The easiest solution when you have kids and no time is to make it work is by having your cake and eating it too”¦figuratively, of course!

Another solution, if you are an early riser, is to set your alarm clock just a half an hour earlier and get out there and go for a jog first thing in the morning. The exercise has the added benefit of possibly kicking that caffeine addiction to the curb too, as you will feel more alert after an early morning workout.

Finally, if neither of these solutions are an option for you it might just be the case that you will have to prioritize and make time for it. Focus on all of the positive benefits just 30 minutes of working out three to five times a week will have for your present and your future. A lot of gyms actually have nurseries where you can bring your kids to stay while you squeeze in your workout. While your kids might not like it at first they will adjust, and in the long run, you sticking with your health routine is only going to benefit them.

Exercise is an important aspect of our health and creating a routine that involves incorporating it into your life is going to keep you healthy and set a positive example for your children as well. So what are you waiting for”¦get out there!

Abuse Victims Should Not Have To Continue Enduring Abuse For Fear Of Deportation

A woman in El Paso seeking refuge from her alleged abuser met with a chilling fate ”“ ICE agents waiting at the courthouse to deport her. The woman went to a courthouse to seek a protective order, but her alleged abuser had apparently reported her to Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Shortly after obtaining the protective order, ICE swooped in and arrested the woman.

It’s easy to jump to conclusions about the case, but this does a disservice to victims of abuse everywhere. Domestic violence victims are entitled to protection from violent abusers and should not have to continue to experience abuse for fear of deportation. To arrest a woman in such a precarious situation after she sought help (one of the most difficult things for abuse victims to do) could set a precedent that discourages other abuse victims from seeking help.

Additionally, if ICE was indeed tipped off by the alleged abuser, then her arrest may be in violation of certain provisions of the 1994 Violence Against Women Act that protects undocumented women when reporting perpetrators, according to the director of the University of Texas’ Immigration Clinic.

If a person needs an order of protection, they should come speak to our attorneys and we can review all options they have. The attorney-client privilege applies even in cases involving undocumented parties. Our attorneys are not police officers and we are not out to get you. Everything told to an attorney is confidential and a person’s legal status will not be reported to a government agency. If you are suffering from domestic abuse, you should not be afraid to discuss protections with an attorney.

Our Denver family lawyers have seen the struggles of women suffering abuse and will use every legal avenue possible to protect them from their abusers.