Do I Have to Split My Retirement Accounts in Divorce?

Divorce can bring up countless financial questions, but one of the most common — and often most confusing — involves retirement accounts. After years of saving and planning for your future, the thought of splitting your hard-earned retirement funds can feel unsettling. So, do you really have to divide your retirement accounts when you divorce?

The short answer: in most cases, yes — at least partly. But how much you have to divide depends on several key factors, including the type of account, when the funds were earned, and the laws in your state.

Understanding Marital vs. Separate Property

Before diving into the details, it’s important to understand how the law distinguishes between marital property and separate property:

  • Marital property generally includes any assets acquired by either spouse during the marriage — including income, savings, and contributions to retirement accounts made while married.
  • Separate property includes assets you owned before marriage or received individually, such as through inheritance or gifts.

If part of your retirement savings was earned before your marriage, that portion is often considered your separate property and may not be divided in a divorce. However, any growth or contributions made during the marriage are typically subject to division.

Types of Retirement Accounts and How They’re Divided

Not all retirement accounts are created equal. The way they’re divided depends on the type of plan and how it’s structured:

1. 401(k), 403(b), and Other Employer-Sponsored Plans

These accounts are divided using a special court order called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO tells the plan administrator exactly how to split the funds between spouses while avoiding taxes and penalties.

2. IRAs (Individual Retirement Accounts)

IRAs don’t require a QDRO but are instead divided under the terms of the divorce decree. The receiving spouse can roll the funds into their own IRA to avoid early withdrawal penalties or taxes.

3. Pensions

If one spouse has a defined-benefit pension plan, the other spouse may be entitled to a share of the monthly benefit payments once the pension starts paying out. Like 401(k)s, this often requires a QDRO.

Factors That Affect How Retirement Accounts Are Split

Courts consider several factors when determining how to divide retirement savings fairly. These may include:

  • Length of the marriage
  • Each spouse’s income and future earning potential
  • Contributions made by each spouse (including homemaking or childrearing)
  • Other marital assets being divided

Colorado, for example, follows “equitable distribution” laws — meaning the division must be fair, not necessarily equal. This allows flexibility in negotiations. You might keep your entire retirement account in exchange for giving up other marital assets of similar value, such as the family home or investment accounts.

What About Early Withdrawals or Penalties?

When handled properly, splitting retirement funds in a divorce does not trigger taxes or penalties. However, if funds are withdrawn directly instead of being transferred through a QDRO or rollover, the IRS may treat it as an early withdrawal — resulting in income taxes and a 10% penalty.

That’s why it’s crucial to have your divorce attorney and financial advisor coordinate the transfer properly.

Can You Negotiate to Keep Your Retirement?

Yes — with careful planning and negotiation, it’s sometimes possible to keep your retirement accounts intact. This may involve:

  • Offering your spouse a larger share of other marital assets
  • Using mediation to reach a customized financial agreement
  • Demonstrating that part or all of your retirement funds are separate property

Every case is unique, so it’s important to consult an experienced divorce attorney who understands both family law and financial matters.

Protecting Your Financial Future

Retirement accounts are often one of the largest marital assets, so understanding how they’ll be handled is essential to protecting your financial future. The division of these accounts can have long-term effects on your ability to retire comfortably — so it’s not something to approach without professional guidance.

At Divorce Matters, our Colorado family law attorneys help clients navigate the complex financial issues that arise during divorce. We’ll work with you to protect your retirement assets, ensure a fair division of property, and help you plan for a secure future. If you need help with a custody or visitation matter, contact Divorce Matters today. Our experienced team is ready to help you protect your rights and your child’s best interests.

Prenuptial and Post-Nuptial Agreements: Protecting Your Future in Marriage

Marriage is not only a personal commitment but also a legal and financial partnership. While discussing finances before or during marriage might seem uncomfortable, having open conversations and clear agreements can actually strengthen your relationship. Prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements help couples establish financial boundaries, protect assets, and prevent disputes if the marriage ends in divorce or separation.

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement (often called a prenup) is a legally binding contract created before marriage. It outlines how assets, debts, and property will be divided in the event of divorce, legal separation, or death.

Prenups are especially helpful for couples who:

  • Have significant assets, property, or business interests before marriage
  • Expect to receive inheritances
  • Have children from previous relationships
  • Want to clarify financial expectations and responsibilities

A well-drafted prenup can prevent misunderstandings and reduce conflict later. It’s not about mistrust—it’s about protecting both partners’ rights and ensuring transparency.

What Is a Post-Nuptial Agreement?

A post-nuptial agreement (or postnup) is similar to a prenup but is created after the couple is already married. It allows spouses to outline or update financial terms that may have changed since their wedding.

Couples may choose a postnup when:

  • One partner starts or expands a business
  • They receive a large inheritance or windfall
  • They want to clarify financial responsibilities after years of marriage
  • There have been significant lifestyle or financial changes

Like a prenup, a postnup must be fair, voluntary, and based on full financial disclosure to be enforceable.

Key Differences Between Prenuptial and Post-Nuptial Agreements

FeaturePrenuptial AgreementPost-Nuptial Agreement
TimingSigned before marriageSigned after marriage
PurposeDefines financial terms before marriage beginsAdjusts or adds financial terms after marriage
Common UsesProtecting premarital assets, business ownership, or inheritanceResponding to new financial developments or relationship changes
Legal EnforceabilityMust meet specific state requirementsMust demonstrate fairness and transparency at the time of signing

Both agreements can provide clarity, but postnups can be more challenging to enforce if one spouse claims unfair pressure or lack of consent—making proper legal guidance essential.

Why Couples Choose These Agreements

While many view these agreements as preparing for failure, they actually serve to protect both spouses and reduce conflict. Common benefits include:

  • Asset Protection: Ensures that premarital property, inheritances, and business interests remain secure.
  • Debt Division: Clarifies which debts belong to which spouse, preventing liability issues.
  • Financial Clarity: Sets expectations for spending, saving, and ownership.
  • Reduced Conflict: Prevents costly and emotional disputes if divorce occurs.
  • Peace of Mind: Offers transparency and fairness, promoting trust in the relationship.

In Colorado, courts uphold prenups and postnups if they are entered into voluntarily, with full disclosure and without coercion.

How to Create a Valid Agreement

To ensure a prenup or postnup holds up in court, certain legal standards must be met:

  1. Full Financial Disclosure: Both spouses must be honest about all assets, debts, and income.
  2. Voluntary Agreement: Neither party can be pressured or coerced.
  3. Fairness: The agreement must be reasonable at the time it was signed.
  4. Independent Legal Counsel: Each spouse should have their own attorney to review the document.
  5. Written and Signed: Verbal agreements are not enforceable in court.

Working with an experienced family law attorney ensures your agreement complies with Colorado law and accurately represents your wishes.

When to Consider Revising an Agreement

Life changes—so can your financial circumstances and priorities. It may be time to update your agreement if:

  • You acquire new assets or start a business
  • You move to a different state
  • You have children
  • Your financial situation changes dramatically

A post-nuptial amendment can help you update your terms to match your current situation and ensure continued protection.

How a Family Law Attorney Can Help

An attorney can:

  • Explain your rights and options under Colorado law
  • Help draft, review, or revise your agreement
  • Ensure fairness and enforceability
  • Represent your interests during negotiation

At Divorce Matters, our experienced family law attorneys help couples create fair, legally sound prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements. Whether you’re planning your marriage or redefining your financial relationship, we provide the guidance you need to protect your future.

Take the Next Step

If you’re considering a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement in Colorado, don’t navigate it alone. Contact Divorce Matters today to schedule a confidential consultation with one of our skilled attorneys and learn how we can help you build a secure foundation for your marriage.

Halloween Night and Parenting Time: How to Handle Visitation Conflicts

Halloween is a night filled with costumes, candy, and cherished childhood memories—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also bring a few tricky challenges. When October 31 falls on a weekday, it often overlaps with school nights and regular visitation schedules, leading to confusion or even conflict over who gets to take the kids trick-or-treating.

Balancing child custody and co-parenting during Halloween doesn’t have to turn into a scary situation. With planning, flexibility, and communication, both parents can help ensure their children have a fun, stress-free celebration.

Understanding the Challenge: When Halloween Falls on a Weekday

In many custody arrangements, weekday parenting time might belong to one parent while weekends belong to another. That setup works fine most of the year—but when holidays like Halloween land on a weekday, it can create tension.

For example, if one parent usually has Tuesday or Thursday nights and Halloween falls on one of those days, the other parent might feel left out of the festivities. These conflicts aren’t uncommon, especially since Halloween is more about shared experiences—like trick-or-treating and costume parades—than about gifts or traditional meals.

This is why it’s essential to review your visitation schedule in advance and make adjustments if needed.

Tip #1: Plan Ahead—Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute

The best way to avoid Halloween parenting disputes is to talk early. Check your child custody agreement and the parenting schedule to see which parent technically has the children that evening. Then, discuss how you might share or alternate the celebration.

Some parents choose to:

  • Alternate Halloween each year.
  • Split the day—one parent attends the school party, and the other handles trick-or-treating.
  • Celebrate together, if co-parenting dynamics allow.

When communication happens early, both parents have time to coordinate costumes, transportation, and evening routines without the added pressure of last-minute arguments.

Tip #2: Focus on the Kids’ Experience

It’s easy to get caught up in who gets “the night,” but remember: Halloween should be about your children’s joy, not parental competition. Kids benefit most when both parents support their fun, even from afar.

If you can’t be there in person, ask your child to send photos of their costume or a short video call before they go trick-or-treating. Showing enthusiasm for their excitement helps maintain connection, even if you’re not together that night.

If your co-parent relationship is cooperative, consider joining forces for community events or school festivities. Many children love showing off their costumes to both parents—and this can reinforce a sense of family stability even after separation.

Tip #3: Modify the Parenting Plan if Needed

If Halloween conflicts become a recurring issue, you might consider making a temporary modification to your visitation schedule. Courts and attorneys generally encourage flexibility, especially for minor holidays like Halloween.

Parents can agree in writing to swap days or add make-up time later in the week. For instance, if one parent gets Halloween this year, the other might get the weekend after for a special fall activity like pumpkin carving or a movie night.

It’s also wise to include language in your parenting plan that addresses how holidays like Halloween, Easter, or the Fourth of July will be handled in the future. This helps prevent confusion and ensures your child’s interests come first.

Tip #4: Keep Communication Calm and Respectful

Disagreements happen, but Halloween shouldn’t turn into a courtroom battle. When discussing schedule changes, keep the focus on what benefits the children—not on personal frustrations.

Some helpful strategies include:

  • Using neutral language when texting or emailing.
  • Offering solutions rather than ultimatums.
  • Involving a mediator if you can’t reach an agreement.

If things become too tense, consider reaching out to a family law attorney or mediator who can guide you through resolving parenting disputes peacefully.

Tip #5: Create New Traditions

If you can’t have your child on Halloween night, that doesn’t mean you miss out on the fun. Many families create new traditions to celebrate at a different time.

You might:

  • Host a “Halloween Eve” movie night with spooky snacks.
  • Take your kids to a community “Trunk or Treat” event on another day.
  • Have a costume photo shoot before they head out with the other parent.

These small adjustments ensure you’re still part of your child’s holiday memories, even if the timing isn’t perfect.

Keeping Halloween Fun—No Tricks, Just Treats

At the end of the day, co-parenting during Halloween is about cooperation, not competition. Children thrive when both parents put their happiness and comfort first, no matter who technically has the evening.

By planning ahead, staying flexible, and communicating clearly, you can prevent visitation conflicts from spoiling the fun. With the right approach, Halloween can remain a joyful time of laughter, candy, and connection—no courtroom drama required. If you need help with a custody or visitation matter, contact Divorce Matters today. Our experienced team is ready to help you protect your rights and your child’s best interests.

Navigating Child Custody and Visitation: What Every Parent Should Know

Divorce or separation can be one of the hardest experiences a family goes through—especially when children are involved. Determining child custody and visitation isn’t just about legal paperwork; it’s about creating a plan that supports your child’s stability, happiness, and future.

In Colorado, custody decisions—legally referred to as “parental responsibilities”—focus on the child’s best interests. Understanding how these decisions are made can help parents approach the process with clarity and confidence.

The Two Sides of Custody: Decision-Making and Parenting Time

Colorado law breaks custody into two main components:

  1. Decision-Making Responsibility – Who has the authority to make major decisions about the child’s life, such as education, healthcare, and religion.
  2. Parenting Time (Visitation) – How much time each parent spends with the child, including living arrangements, holidays, and vacations.

Courts often encourage joint custody, where both parents share decision-making and time with the child. However, if joint custody isn’t in the child’s best interests, one parent may receive primary custody, with the other receiving visitation rights.

How the Court Determines Custody

Every custody case is unique. When parents cannot agree on a plan, the court steps in to decide what arrangement serves the child’s best interests. Judges look at several factors, including:

  • Each parent’s emotional bond with the child
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
  • The ability of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
  • The mental and physical health of everyone involved
  • Any evidence of abuse, neglect, or substance abuse

The court’s main goal is to ensure a safe, loving, and consistent environment for the child.

Understanding Visitation Rights

Visitation, also known as parenting time, allows a parent to maintain a meaningful relationship with their child even if they don’t have primary custody. Common arrangements include:

  • Alternating weekends and holidays
  • Midweek or overnight visits
  • Extended summer or vacation time

In some cases, the court may order supervised visitation if there are concerns about a parent’s ability to provide a safe environment. These visits take place in the presence of a neutral third party to protect the child’s well-being.

Creating a Parenting Plan That Works

Colorado encourages parents to work together to create a parenting plan—a written agreement that outlines custody, visitation, communication, and decision-making responsibilities. A well-crafted parenting plan helps reduce conflict and ensures that both parents understand their roles and expectations.

If parents cannot agree, the court may order mediation before making a final decision. Mediation provides an opportunity to discuss issues in a neutral setting and reach an agreement without going to trial.

Modifying Custody or Visitation Orders

Life changes—jobs relocate, children grow older, and family needs evolve. If a major life change affects your current custody arrangement, you can request a modification.

To modify a court order, the requesting parent must show that the change serves the child’s best interests. Common reasons include relocation, remarriage, or significant changes in a parent’s circumstances. Having legal guidance during this process can make it easier to present your case effectively.

Why Legal Help Matters

Even when both parents want what’s best for their child, custody and visitation issues can become complex. A knowledgeable family law attorney can help by:

  • Explaining your rights under Colorado custody law
  • Drafting or reviewing parenting plans
  • Representing you in mediation or court
  • Helping you modify or enforce existing orders
  • Protecting your child’s safety and your parental rights

At Divorce Matters, our attorneys understand the emotional and legal challenges parents face during custody disputes. We provide compassionate guidance and strong advocacy to help you reach a resolution that protects your child and your peace of mind.

Final Thoughts

Child custody and visitation cases are about more than legal decisions—they’re about building a foundation for your child’s future. With the right legal support and a focus on cooperation, parents can create a plan that works for everyone involved.

If you need help with a custody or visitation matter, contact Divorce Matters today. Our experienced team is ready to help you protect your rights and your child’s best interests.

Affordable Family Law Help in Colorado

When most people think about family law, they imagine divorce proceedings, custody disputes, child support battles, or property division. What they don’t always anticipate, however, is how expensive the process can become. Family law issues are not just emotionally taxing—they can also place an overwhelming financial burden on individuals and families.

In Colorado, the costs of divorce or custody disputes often rise quickly due to attorney’s fees, court costs, mediation sessions, and other related expenses. For many, the thought of paying for legal help feels impossible, leaving them stuck between protecting their rights and preserving their financial stability.

But affordable family law help is possible. From seeking flexible legal services to exploring legal financing options, families in Colorado have more tools at their disposal than they might realize. This guide will walk you through the challenges of affording family law representation, strategies to manage costs, and how legal financing can bridge the gap between your financial situation and the legal help you need.

Why Family Law Help Matters

Family law cases often involve life-changing issues such as:

  • Divorce and separation
  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support and alimony
  • Property and asset division
  • Domestic violence or protection orders
  • Adoption and guardianship

The outcome of these cases can shape your financial security, your relationship with your children, and your long-term well-being. Having a skilled attorney ensures that your rights are protected and that you understand the legal process. Unfortunately, the cost of obtaining this representation often becomes the biggest barrier.

Affordable Options for Legal Help

While family law can be expensive, there are ways to access more affordable services without sacrificing quality:

1. Limited-Scope Representation

Also known as “unbundled legal services,” this allows clients to hire an attorney for specific tasks instead of full representation. For example, a lawyer might draft documents, review agreements, or prepare you for court while you handle other parts of the case yourself.

2. Mediation Services

Mediation is often less expensive than a full trial and encourages cooperative solutions. Many Colorado courts encourage mediation in family law cases. While it still has costs, it can reduce time in court and attorney fees.

3. Payment Plans

Some family law attorneys offer payment arrangements to help clients spread out costs over time instead of paying large sums upfront.

4. Legal Aid and Nonprofit Assistance

Organizations like Colorado Legal Services provide help to those who meet income requirements. While not everyone qualifies, this can be a lifeline for low-income individuals.

5. Legal Financing

When traditional options aren’t enough, legal financing provides another path to affordable family law help. Legal financing companies fund the costs of divorce or custody cases, and repayment is typically structured in a way that aligns with your financial situation.

Legal Financing: Bridging the Gap

Legal financing is a growing resource for families who need representation but can’t afford the upfront cost. Unlike traditional loans, these financial tools are often structured to support clients during litigation, sometimes with repayment tied to the resolution of the case.

Here are three trusted legal financing providers that offer support for divorce and family law cases in Colorado:

1. National Divorce Capital

National Divorce Capital specializes in financing for divorce cases. They provide funding for attorney fees, expert witnesses, and living expenses during lengthy proceedings. Clients can apply for funding to help manage costs without draining savings or relying on high-interest credit cards.

2. New Chapter Capital

New Chapter Capital focuses on empowering individuals going through divorce by offering financial solutions that cover legal fees and related expenses. Their goal is to ensure that no one has to forgo skilled representation simply because they can’t pay upfront.

3. Schneider Financial Solutions

Schneider Financial Solutions offers a wide range of financial support, including legal funding for divorce and custody cases. They design repayment plans that fit clients’ unique circumstances, making family law help more accessible for middle-income individuals who might not qualify for legal aid.

These financing options can provide peace of mind, allowing you to focus on your case rather than worrying about how you’ll pay your attorney.

Benefits of Legal Financing

Legal financing has several advantages for individuals facing family law disputes in Colorado:

  • Access to quality representation: Ensure that you can hire an experienced attorney without compromising due to cost.
  • Financial flexibility: Spread out payments instead of draining your savings or taking on high-interest debt.
  • Peace of mind: Focus on your family and your case instead of constant financial stress.
  • Level playing field: In cases where one spouse controls the marital finances, legal financing ensures that both parties have the resources to fight fairly.

Affordable Legal Help Is Possible

Facing family law issues in Colorado can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re worried about money. But remember, you don’t have to choose between your financial security and your legal rights. By exploring affordable options like limited-scope representation, mediation, payment plans, and legal aid—and by considering legal financing when necessary—you can access the family law help you need without sacrificing your future. Call us or fill out our form for your free consultation with one of our experienced divorce attorneys.

Custody and Deployment: How Military Divorce Impacts Families

Military families face unique challenges that can place an extraordinary strain on marriages. Frequent relocations, long separations, and the stress of deployment can all take a toll on relationships. When divorce becomes unavoidable, service members and their spouses encounter additional legal and emotional hurdles—especially when children are involved.

One of the most complex issues in a military divorce is child custody. Unlike civilian divorces, custody arrangements in military families must account for deployments, frequent moves, and the demands of military service. These factors don’t just affect the parents; they shape the lives of children who must adapt to changing routines and sometimes long absences from one parent.

This blog explores how deployment impacts custody, the legal considerations unique to military divorces, and the ways families can protect their children’s best interests during this difficult time.

The Unique Challenges of Military Divorce

While every divorce is difficult, military divorces bring distinctive complications that influence custody decisions. Some of the most significant challenges include:

1. Deployment and Extended Absences

Unlike civilian parents, military service members may be deployed overseas or stationed away from home for months—or even years—at a time. These absences make traditional custody arrangements difficult. Courts must plan for what happens when a parent cannot physically care for the child due to military duty.

2. Frequent Relocations

Military families often relocate every two to three years. This can disrupt a child’s schooling, social life, and routine. It also complicates custody orders if parents live in different states or even different countries.

3. Jurisdictional Issues

In civilian divorces, custody cases are typically handled by the state where the child resides. But with military families moving frequently, questions about which state has jurisdiction can arise. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) provides guidelines, but applying them in military situations can be complex.

4. Emotional Strain on Families

The uncertainty of deployments and relocations can heighten stress for both parents and children. These pressures often play into custody disputes, as each parent may feel strongly about where and how their children should be raised.

Legal Protections for Military Parents

Recognizing these unique challenges, both federal and state laws provide protections for service members in custody and divorce proceedings.

The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA)

The SCRA offers legal protections to military members so they are not disadvantaged in civil proceedings while serving. For custody disputes, this means:

  • Courts may postpone proceedings if a service member cannot attend due to deployment.
  • Service members have the right to request stays or delays to ensure they can participate in their case.

These provisions help ensure that custody decisions are not made unfairly in a parent’s absence.

State Custody Laws and Deployment Provisions

Many states, including Colorado, have laws that specifically address how deployment impacts custody. Typically, these laws:

  • Prevent courts from permanently altering custody arrangements solely because of deployment.
  • Allow temporary modifications during deployment, with the understanding that custody reverts once the service member returns.
  • Permit service members to delegate parenting time to another family member (such as a grandparent) during deployment.

These protections aim to preserve the parent-child relationship despite the realities of military service.

Custody Arrangements in Military Divorce

When courts evaluate custody in a military divorce, the primary focus remains the best interests of the child. However, the realities of military life influence how custody is structured.

Primary vs. Joint Custody

  • Primary Custody: In many military families, the non-military parent may be awarded primary custody due to the service member’s deployment schedule. This provides stability for the child.
  • Joint Custody: Courts still favor joint custody when possible, but practical considerations—such as the military parent’s availability—play a role in how parenting time is divided.

Temporary Custody During Deployment

When a military parent is deployed, temporary custody arrangements are often put in place. These arrangements may include:

  • Allowing the child to stay with the non-military parent full-time.
  • Granting extended visitation to the non-military parent during deployment.
  • Assigning visitation rights to close relatives of the deployed parent if permitted by law.

Parenting Plans and Flexibility

Military divorces often require customized parenting plans that account for deployment and relocation. These plans may include:

  • Provisions for makeup parenting time when the service member returns.
  • Communication arrangements (video calls, letters, or emails) to maintain the parent-child bond during deployment.
  • Flexibility clauses allowing parents to adjust schedules based on duty changes.

The Emotional Impact on Children

Beyond the legal complexities, custody and deployment profoundly affect children. Divorce itself is disruptive, but combined with the absence of a parent due to military service, the emotional toll can be significant.

Common Challenges for Children

  • Separation Anxiety: Long deployments can cause children to feel abandoned or disconnected from the deployed parent.
  • Adjustment Stress: Relocations may force children to repeatedly change schools and social circles.
  • Emotional Uncertainty: Divorce can create insecurity about where the child belongs and how family relationships will function.

Supporting Children Through the Transition

Parents can take proactive steps to minimize the emotional strain:

  • Maintain consistent routines wherever possible.
  • Encourage open communication about the child’s feelings.
  • Use technology to keep the deployed parent present in the child’s life.
  • Seek counseling or support groups for military families.

When both parents prioritize the child’s well-being over disputes, children are better able to adjust.

Best Practices for Military Families Facing Divorce

Successfully navigating custody and deployment during a military divorce requires careful planning and cooperation. Here are some best practices for families:

1. Develop a Detailed Parenting Plan

Anticipate deployment, relocation, and changes in schedule. The more specific the plan, the fewer disputes arise later.

2. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully

Divorce can heighten emotions, but respectful communication helps parents collaborate on custody arrangements. Keeping the focus on the child’s best interests prevents unnecessary conflict.

3. Prioritize the Child’s Stability

Frequent moves or disruptions can negatively affect children. Courts often consider which parent can provide the most stable environment. Parents should strive to minimize transitions.

4. Stay Informed About Legal Rights

Both service members and civilian spouses should understand their rights under SCRA, state laws, and custody statutes. Consulting an experienced family law attorney ensures these rights are protected.

5. Use Mediation When Possible

Mediation allows parents to create flexible solutions that work for their unique family circumstances. It can reduce conflict, save time, and prevent litigation.

How Attorneys Can Help

Military divorce requires specialized knowledge of both family law and military regulations. An experienced attorney can:

  • Explain how state and federal laws apply to your case.
  • Assist with jurisdictional issues when families live in different states.
  • Help draft parenting plans that accommodate deployment and relocation.
  • Represent your interests in court while ensuring the child’s best interests are prioritized.

Legal guidance is essential to ensure custody decisions are fair and workable for both parents and children.

Conclusion: Protecting Families Through Transition

Divorce is never easy, and military families face added challenges when custody and deployment intersect. Service members dedicate their lives to protecting the country, but they should not lose their parental rights because of their duty. At the same time, children deserve stability, love, and support as their family structure changes.

By understanding the legal protections available, planning for deployment, and prioritizing the best interests of the child, military families can navigate divorce with greater confidence. With the right legal and emotional support, parents can create custody arrangements that honor both their responsibilities to their children and to their country.

Divorce vs. Legal Separation: Which Is Right for You?

When a marriage is no longer working, couples are often faced with a difficult question: should they pursue a divorce or consider a legal separation? While both processes allow spouses to live apart and establish legal arrangements regarding finances, property, and children, the outcomes and long-term implications are very different. Understanding the differences between divorce and legal separation can help you decide which path makes the most sense for your unique situation.

What Is Legal Separation?

A legal separation is a court-approved arrangement where a married couple lives apart but remains legally married. It is more than just moving into separate homes—it involves filing a petition with the court and establishing legally binding agreements on issues such as:

  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support
  • Spousal support (alimony)
  • Division of property and debts

In Colorado, for example, couples must file for legal separation through the court system, much like they would for a divorce. The court issues a decree of legal separation, which formalizes the arrangement.

Why Choose Legal Separation?

For some couples, legal separation is a more suitable option than divorce. Reasons might include:

  1. Religious or Personal Beliefs
     Some faiths strongly discourage or prohibit divorce, making legal separation a way to live independently while respecting those beliefs.
  2. Health Insurance and Benefits
     Remaining legally married can allow one spouse to continue receiving health insurance coverage through the other’s employer or maintain access to certain benefits.
  3. Financial Considerations
     Couples may find that separating legally—while remaining married—allows them to better manage joint financial responsibilities, tax benefits, or retirement benefits.
  4. Uncertainty About Divorce
     For some couples, legal separation provides space and time to determine whether reconciliation is possible, without the finality of divorce.
  5. Residency Requirements
     In certain situations, couples may choose legal separation first if they have not yet met the residency requirements to file for divorce in their state.

What Is Divorce?

Divorce, or dissolution of marriage, is the permanent and legal end of a marriage. Once a divorce is finalized, both parties are legally single and free to remarry. Like legal separation, divorce requires court involvement and addresses issues such as:

  • Division of property and debts
  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support
  • Spousal support

However, unlike legal separation, divorce is final and comes with legal consequences that cannot easily be reversed.

Why Choose Divorce?

Divorce may be the best option if you are ready to move on completely from the marriage. Reasons couples choose divorce include:

  1. Closure and Independence
     Divorce provides a clean break and allows both spouses to fully move forward with their lives.
  2. Ability to Remarry
     Only divorce allows individuals to remarry. For those who want the option of future relationships or marriages, this is essential.
  3. Financial Independence
     Divorce legally severs financial ties between spouses, which can help avoid conflicts over future debts or obligations.
  4. Finality
     For many, the emotional clarity of divorce outweighs the uncertainty of ongoing legal separation.

Key Differences Between Divorce and Legal Separation

While divorce and legal separation may look similar in terms of process, the differences are critical:

AspectDivorceLegal Separation
Marital StatusLegally singleStill legally married
Ability to RemarryYesNo
Insurance & BenefitsUsually ends spousal benefitsSpousal benefits may continue
Financial SeparationComplete division of property/debtsSimilar division, but marriage remains intact
Emotional ClosurePermanentMay leave door open for reconciliation
Religious/Personal ConsiderationsMay conflict with beliefsAllows separation without violating beliefs

How to Decide Between Divorce and Legal Separation

Deciding whether divorce or legal separation is right for you depends on your goals, values, and circumstances. Consider the following questions:

  • Are you certain your marriage is over?
     If reconciliation is not an option, divorce may be best.
  • Do you want the option to remarry?
     If yes, only divorce will allow that.
  • Are there financial or insurance benefits you want to preserve?
     Legal separation might allow you to maintain access to these.
  • Do religious or personal beliefs make divorce difficult?
     Legal separation could be a respectful alternative.
  • Do you need time and space to decide?
     Legal separation provides a trial period without the permanence of divorce.

Ultimately, your choice should reflect both your emotional well-being and your long-term practical needs.

Legal Process for Divorce and Legal Separation in Colorado

In Colorado, both divorce and legal separation follow a similar process:

  1. Filing a Petition – One spouse files paperwork with the court.
  2. Financial Disclosures – Both parties exchange information about assets, debts, and income.
  3. Negotiation/Mediation – Couples attempt to agree on property division, custody, and support.
  4. Court Hearing – If agreements are reached, a judge reviews and approves them. If not, the court makes final decisions.
  5. Final Decree – The court issues either a decree of dissolution (divorce) or a decree of legal separation.

One important note: In Colorado, couples who are legally separated can later convert their separation into a divorce decree after six months if they choose. This flexibility can be helpful for couples who are unsure about their long-term decision.

Conclusion: Choosing the Right Path

Whether divorce or legal separation is right for you depends on your personal circumstances, financial needs, and long-term goals. Both options involve serious legal and emotional considerations, and making the wrong choice can have lasting consequences. That’s why it’s crucial to seek guidance from experienced family law attorneys who can help you navigate the process and make informed decisions.

At Divorce Matters, we understand how difficult these choices can be. Our compassionate and knowledgeable team has helped countless individuals in Colorado determine the best path forward for their families. Whether you’re considering legal separation, divorce, or simply exploring your options, we are here to guide you every step of the way.

Navigating a Divorce with Kids

Conor Stewartson

How Do Kids Change Divorce?

When couples have children, a divorce becomes much more complicated. Even if you and your spouse are committed to an amicable separation, you will need to think through your post-divorce future for the sake of your children. There are many factors that you must consider when going through a divorce with kids, including co-parenting plans and custody arrangements, child support, emotional support, and even maintaining respect toward your former spouse in front of your child to contribute to a healthier family dynamic. Divorce Matters® is here to offer help in each of these areas so you experience a more seamless divorce.

Come Up with a Parenting Plan

Children need continuing contact with both parents, and a judge will want to see a detailed parenting plan. At the outset, you should realize that a 50/50 custody split might not be realistic for several reasons: an imbalance of parental care, one or both of you deciding to move, or if one of you has a past criminal record. However, you should work toward the fairest custody plan that looks out for the best interest of the child or children.

If one of you decides to move far enough that it could prompt school changes, you will need to reevaluate your agreement and settle it with the court. This will involve who and where the child or children will live with during the school year and decide:

  • When the non-custodial parent will have weekend visitation
  • How the children will split their summer vacations
  • Who the children will spend holidays and birthdays with
  • How you will transport the children to and from visitation, as well as when they will be dropped off and picked up

The more detailed your parenting plan, the better. Deciding on issues ahead of time can reduce conflict later on. Divorce with kids will also require determining parental rights and obligations to ensure both sides are contributing fairly to the child’s life. This includes setting boundaries on both sides so the child will not take advantage of one parent or “choose” a favorite. Both parents must have clear rules the child must follow to allow for a healthy relationship in the family and promote an equal partnership. If you need help developing a parenting plan, you can consult with one of our divorce attorneys who can advise you on how to achieve the best possible outcome for you and your child.

Discuss Child Support

Every child has a right to enjoy the fruits of his or her parent’s income and live with a parent who can take care of them financially. For this reason, child support is a right. Child support includes things like health insurance, medical expenses, and child care in addition to the monthly overall care costs. Depending on your situation, you might need to pay extra to cover these costs.

Hiring a child custody lawyer to help with a divorce with kids is crucial, whether you are the paying or receiving parent. Many factors contribute to how child support is paid that you will want professional assistance with, such as income, overnight stays with each parent, extraordinary and ongoing expenses – and who has paid most of them – and much more. You don’t want one stone unturned. This is why parents going through a divorce with kids should partner with a firm like Divorce Matters® that will look at the total cost of raising the children, both of their gross income, and identify how child support should be paid out or received.

The state has a formula it uses to calculate child support. We make this easy to calculate with our free child support and maintenance calculator. You can download this free tool in the Google and Apple app stores.

Stay on Your Best Behavior

It is perfectly understandable to feel depressed, angry, and frustrated during a divorce with kids. After all, a relationship you thought would last for life is now crashing to the ground. Nevertheless, parents must remain amicable if they want their children to flourish. This means never bad-mouthing your spouse when the children are around or trying to turn your children against their mother or father. Furthermore, trying to alienate your children could be used against you when it comes to determining custody.

You must also keep communication consistent between you and your ex, as well as your child. Allow the child to speak to the other parent when they choose to maintain a healthy relationship. If you ever do need to communicate with your former spouse, the child should never see you fighting over them or disrespecting one another. This is not conducive to a healthy relationship and can later result in resentment from the child toward you or your former spouse.

Emotional Impact on Children

While you are going through a divorce with kids, your child will be feeling a mix of emotions – anger, sadness, confusion, and even guilt. It is important to reassure them that your relationship ending has nothing to do with them, and it may even improve your relationship as a family unit. Do not use them as messengers between the two of you, and under no circumstance should you put them in the middle of your conflicts or use them as collateral. Effective communication and setting boundaries as parents are crucial to the mental health of the child. Continue to reassure them that they are loved and allow open communication so they can express their emotions freely. It could be beneficial to seek out a neutral party like a counselor or therapist for your child to remove any bias and allow them to speak about the situation.

Finally, allow you and your child time to adjust to this new normal. This is a new journey for all of you, so allow yourselves to be open and flexible, and have a safe space to grieve the divorce. You also need to get used to the new environment with one less parent in the house (potentially impacting pre- and post-school routines or weekend plans). It is important to adjust and even establish new traditions for you and your child to restore a sense of normalcy.

When it comes to introducing new partners, take ample time to allow you and your child to get over the divorce before involving any new romantic partners. Not only could this be confusing to the child, but it could hurt your relationship with them. Do not try to force a relationship with this new partner, validate their feelings, and do not involve them in the co-parenting responsibilities. New partners can be a slippery slope, so only enter into a relationship with one when you are truly ready and when you know they will fit in with your children.

Child Support Modification

To make a child support modification in Colorado, courts require a “substantial and continuing” change. This change can include a change in income, especially if you get a raise or lose your job. You can request changes through an annual assessment or through a general motion to modify your agreement. Modifications are possible, but the circumstances need to be substantial enough to call for a change.

Calm Guidance You Can Trust

Divorce with kids is an emotionally turbulent and challenging time. You need trusted, experienced divorce lawyers in your corner. At Divorce Matters®, our team has the knowledge and experience to help guide you through the process step by step. We only want what is best for you and your family. Please contact us today to schedule your comprehensive, initial consultation.

What Does The Census Says About Divorced Women? Know Your Finances

According to data from the most recent census, women are shown to be disproportionately affected by divorce when it comes to finance. Compared to men, women tend to earn less money and tend to be less likely to be able to afford to live independently. Why is being single so expensive?

There’s the obvious answer ”“ two incomes are better than one. But it’s more than just income. Here are some reasons why being single is just more expensive ”“ and why women often face harsher prospects of independence.

  • Taxes: Married couples can typically save thousands of dollars in taxes when they file jointly. This is because of the bevy of federal and state laws that benefit married couples. When you get a divorce, you lose these benefits, which means your taxes will probably be higher. Additionally, studies from ConsumerReports.org and the University of Central Florida reveal a hidden “woman tax” when it comes to sales. Products marketed to women, even if they are functionally identical to men’s products, are more expensive on average.
  • Health Spending: Did you know that, on average, single women spend more on annual healthcare than single men? The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) reports that while men spend 3.9 percent of their annual income on health care, single women spend 7.9 percent, just over double of what men pay. The National Women’s Law Center says that a nonsmoking woman often pays more for health insurance than a smoking man. Women also have to worry about gynecological costs as well as pregnancy, two things that men do not have an equivalent of. Furthermore, women just go to the doctor more, according to a Louis Harris and Associates study that found that men avoid doctors at three times the rate of women yearly, and that a third of men don’t even have a regular physician.
  • Housing: According to the BLS, single women are ”“ once again ”“ paying disproportionate amounts for housing compared to couples and single men. Couples spend an average 23.9 percent of annual income on housing. Single men, 30.3 percent. Single women, 39.8 percent. It breaks down logically; couples can combine income, single men tend to make more money and single women are victims of the wage gap, thus the higher percentage.

It’s definitely not fair and shows bias against not just singles, but specifically single women, at an institutional level. For these reasons (and several more), it’s just harder to be financially independent as a single woman.