How Exercise Can Help You Through Your Divorce

Conor Stewartson

Exercise can be an immense source of relief when you’re going through a divorce. It’s a great way to keep yourself in shape and feeling confident. It also helps that exercise is known to be a reliever of stress and releases endorphins to help boost your mood. All of these benefits, AND it will reduce your risk of a plethora of diseases later on in life””so the real question is, if you aren’t already doing it, why not start adding more exercise into your routine?

It might seem difficult when you have kids to take care of, a job you work 40 hours a week at, and chores to be done. However, there are ways you can sneak in your daily dose of exercise without adding to your stress. The first one is easiest if you have children who are active themselves. Join in the play! Get outside and kick the soccer ball around with them or join in a game of tag. The easiest solution when you have kids and no time is to make it work is by having your cake and eating it too”¦figuratively, of course!

Another solution, if you are an early riser, is to set your alarm clock just a half an hour earlier and get out there and go for a jog first thing in the morning. The exercise has the added benefit of possibly kicking that caffeine addiction to the curb too, as you will feel more alert after an early morning workout.

Finally, if neither of these solutions are an option for you it might just be the case that you will have to prioritize and make time for it. Focus on all of the positive benefits just 30 minutes of working out three to five times a week will have for your present and your future. A lot of gyms actually have nurseries where you can bring your kids to stay while you squeeze in your workout. While your kids might not like it at first they will adjust, and in the long run, you sticking with your health routine is only going to benefit them.

Exercise is an important aspect of our health and creating a routine that involves incorporating it into your life is going to keep you healthy and set a positive example for your children as well. So what are you waiting for”¦get out there!

The Divorce Process, Part 1: Grounds For Divorce

Mark Smith

Do Colorado couples have to prove anything to get a divorce? There are two lines of thinking in the United States when it comes to divorce. All 50 states allow for “no-fault” divorce, which is divorce where neither party has to prove anything beyond that the marriage is irreparably broken.

There are 32 states that allow some form of “fault” divorce. In these divorces, one party can prove grounds for divorce such as cruelty, adultery, desertion or confinement in prison for a set number of years (it varies by state which forms of fault are accepted). For fault divorces, the goal is generally for the aggrieved party to seek a greater portion of marital property or support.

Colorado is strictly a no-fault state for divorce. This means that either spouse can petition for a divorce (also known as a dissolution of marriage) or a legal separation and only needs to show that there are irreconcilable differences between the spouses.

Because we are a no-fault state, the courts like to keep divorce cases clean, meaning they usually will not allow either spouse to present evidence of wrongdoing on the part of the other spouse. There are exceptions when the wrongdoing has the potential to affect other issues. For example, if there is any spousal or child abuse happening, the victim can present this evidence to be taken into account when the court makes decisions on parenting time (child custody).

Note that these rules only cover dissolution of marriage and legal separation, not annulments. Annulments are a separate legal process from divorce and will not be covered in this series on the divorce process in Colorado.

On Friday, we’ll discuss another issue of the divorce process ”“ who is actually allowed to file for divorce in Colorado?

Our Denver family law attorneys are willing to assist you no matter where in the divorce process you are.

Protecting Your Marriage From Money Problems

Money is one of the most popular points of contention for married couples. Studies show that the more frequently a couple fights over money, the more likely they are to divorce, especially if the money battles happen every day or every other day. There are a lot of things that couples fight about ”“ the kids, the chores, the in-laws ”“ but above all, the frequency of money disputes is the single biggest predictor of divorce. Knowing that, here are some basic tips to help keep your financial situation civil and productive:

  1. Communication is key. Have a regular meeting time with your spouse to discuss all matters of family finances, including income, expenditures, bills and plans for the future. One a month is a good schedule to follow, perhaps around the time bills are due, but every two weeks may be better for you.
  2. It might be hard, but make a budget. It’s much easier to spend money you shouldn’t be spending if you don’t have some sort of roadmap for your finances.
  3. Each party should have a separate account for discretionary income. Think of it like an allowance, something you give to yourself in case you want to treat yourself someday without angering your spouse.

It is critical when discussing money issues with the spouse to keep an open mind. You’re not engaged in some mortal battle for the fate of your wallet. It is about understanding your own and your partner’s outlook on money and the role it plays in your lives together. Be willing to adopt a positive mindset, search for common ground and know that compromise is the name of the game.

Our Denver divorce law firm serves clients throughout the state of Colorado.

Hot New Divorce Trend: Burning the Dress

The last few years have seen several social media-driven divorce trends. We’ve celebrated singlehood with divorce parties and we’ve shared divorce selfies on Twitter and Facebook. But a growing new trend may prove to be the hottest yet. Literally ”“ we’re talking about lighting wedding dresses on fire. Trash the dress ceremonies are nothing new, and we’re sure this trend isn’t the first time someone came up with the idea to burn the dress, but thanks to social media, we’re seeing it more and more.

Some claim that burning the dress is an important symbol of starting anew, like a phoenix reborn from ashes. Others say it’s an important catharsis that allows former brides to release pent up rage. Others use it as an excuse for photo shoots and marshmallow roasting. Whatever the reason, many brides are embracing the flame. The trend has even reached the music industry ”“ in Mariah Carey’s video for her new song “I Don’t,” Mariah tosses a $250,000 custom Valentino dress into a fire pit. The dress was the one she planned to wear for her wedding with James Packer, which Packer called off late last year due to Mariah’s lavish spending habits.

Should I Burn The Dress?

Lighting stuff on fire is fun, sure. But is there something more constructive that can be done with an old wedding dress?

After all, wedding dresses can be quite expensive. If you can’t stand the look of your dress hanging up in your closet, consider alternatives to total destruction. Donate your dress to someone less fortunate or have the fabric turned into something else.

Denver divorce attorneys ready and willing to assist you in matters of family law including custody disputes, division of property and pre/postnuptial agreements.

Balance Is Important: Why Overnights Are So Important For Young Children

When the courts come up with child custody arrangements, they determine the plan based on what is in the best interest of the children. Often, the courts will try to make sure that each parent has adequate overnight visits with the children. It may seem like a no-brainer that children should be able to spend time with both parents, but what arrangement is best? A new study suggests that splitting time as evenly as possible between parents is the best way for children to build and maintain both relationships.

The study, published February 2 in the journal Psychology, Public Policy and Law, suggested that adult children who went on the have the best relationships with their parents were those who spent equal time between their parents’ homes as young children.

Previous research on couples showed that a child who spends too much time with the father early in life would suffer damaged bonds with the mother. The new study suggested otherwise: not only did overnight parenting with the father cause no harm to the mother-child relationship, commonly thought of as the most important relationship for young children, it actually appeared to strengthen both relationships.

Overnight Time with Both Parents Is the Key to Better Future Relationships

The study looked at 100 college students whose parents separated before the students turned three years old. The students rated their relationships with their parents and the findings showed that the time spent with the child at age two was highly important. If a child spent less time at one parent’s house, the parents were typically unable to compensate later with more overnight time. As a result, the child’s future relationship with that parent would suffer. The study concluded that an even, or close to even, split provided benefits for all three parties, not just the custodial parent and the child.

Why? The researchers have a theory. For fathers, being alone with the child helped them to learn how to parent the child from the beginning. This led to a better foundation for their future relationship. For mothers, letting the child spend time away gave them a break from the stresses of being a single mother, which made mothers more prepared to raise the children when they had custody.

Having issues with a parenting time arrangement for your children? Our Denver family law firm is well-equipped to handle all matters of child custody, including enforcement and modification.

Can A Credit Report Predict Divorce?

Did you know that 67 percent of marrying couples are too embarrassed to tell their significant others what their credit scores are? That’s true, according to a certified financial planner with Delta Community Credit Union. That number is shocking, considering how important financial transparency with your spouse is to a lasting marriage.

In fact, not knowing your spouse’s credit score could be a predictor of divorce.

How Does Credit Score Predict Divorce?

The Federal Reserve looked at 12 million couples over the course of 15 years, studying their credit scores, and found that the higher your credit score is, the more likely you are to stay together. That may seem obvious, as a high credit score may demonstrate person is trustworthy and financially responsible, two positive traits in a partner. (Of course, these are not moral considerations. Many people have low credit scores due to circumstances beyond their control, such as unemployment and medical bills.)

The study also found that the closer your credit score is to your spouse’s, the more likely you are to stay together. For every 66-point difference between your scores, there is a 24 percent chance the marriage will fail within four years. Yikes!

Engaged couples should plan their finances together in a transparent manner and work out their future household budget, establish joint and/or separate bank accounts as well as retirement planning. The best ways to build credit with your spouse are to budget responsibly, set clear financial goals as a couple and meet with your spouse regularly about your finances. Even if your credit is bad, being honest about it and your plans to build credit helps foster goodwill between you and your spouse and help to build a long-lasting relationship.

How Much Alimony Will I Receive In Divorce?

Calculation of spousal maintenance (or alimony, as you may have heard it called) is based on a series of factors.

Maintenance will only be granted if the courts find that the spouse seeking it cannot provide for his or her reasonable needs and lacks sufficient property including property apportioned to him or her. Additionally, the spouse seeking maintenance must be unable to become self-supporting through employment or be the custodian of a child that prevents said spouse from seeking reasonable employment.

Once the court has decided that a spouse meets the above qualifications, they will make the following considerations in deciding the length and amount of spousal support to be granted:

  • The spouse’s financial situation, including any assets obtained through the divorce settlement as well as any child support the spouse is receiving
  • The spouse’s potential earning capacity, including time it would take for the spouse to receive the needed education and training to facilitate that earning capacity
  • The spouse’s standard of living during the marriage
  • How long the marriage lasted
  • The spouse’s age, as well as his or her physical and emotional condition
  • Whether the person paying for maintenance is able to afford the maintenance agreement

If you would like to see for yourself what your prospects are for spousal maintenance, you’re in luck ”“ there’s an app for that. You can find it by going to the App Store (if you’re on iOS) or on the Google Play store (if you’re on Android) and searching for Divorce Matters Colorado Spousal Maintenance and Child Support Calculator, or you can click the links on this page.

What Are My Options For Dividing The Marital Home In Divorce?

Following divorce, there are a lot of considerations to make with the family home. Who gets to keep it? What’s the easiest way to get one spouse’s name off of the mortgage so they won’t be held liable for the home in the future? Where will the departing spouse live afterward?

You have options, but some are easier than others. Here are three possible ways to deal with property division on the marital home:

  1. Often, the simplest way to split the home is for both parties to wash their hands of it entirely. Selling the home and splitting the money gives both parties equal (or at least, equitable) footing with which to begin their new lives. Additionally, this means that you will no longer have your name on a document with your ex-spouse. However, realize that there are some complications you might have to endure when selling the home. The economy can have a huge effect on whether selling the home is a worthwhile endeavor; if the housing market is down, it may make more sense to rent the property out instead. If the market is up, there are tax implications to consider for capital gains that are affected by your filing status (married couples get a bigger tax exclusion, so it might make sense to sell before the divorce).
  2. For couples that decide not to sell, it may be prudent for one party to buy out their half of the home. This is a good way to keep the home in the family (for the benefit of children, for example, or for sentimental purposes) but it may not always be financially feasible. Both parties in this situation should seek appraisals on the home ”“ it’s always best to have a second opinion before committing to something so important. If the departing party cannot afford at the time of divorce to buyout his or her half, then the couple can consider a delayed buyout, but there are some long-term headaches associated with this method (keeping both names on the mortgage post-divorce, namely) so it’s not usually recommended due to potential financial and credit ramifications.
  3. There’s always cohabitation if you and your ex-spouse split amicably. On one hand, it could be a good idea for both parents to be around for the kids; on the other hand, you just got divorced from the person who is now your housemate, with all the potential baggage this situation brings up.

How Can A Trust Protect My Adult Child’s Inheritance During Divorce?

On Monday we talked about the importance of discussing prenups with your adult children as they prepare for a wedding, especially for high-asset families. Prenups are not always the most comfortable thing to bring up with a fiancée, but they are very important tools for protecting one’s property in case of divorce. But parents with high-assets who wish to ensure that their estates transfers to the desired party (in this case, an adult child) without any hang-ups related to divorce or the lack of a prenup can rely on another tool to preserve their estates: creating a trust.

Benefits Of A Trust To Protect Inheritance In Divorce

A trust gives you much more control over your adult child’s inheritance. You decide the terms of the trust and can order the trustee to only pay out to your son or daughter in certain circumstances. Here are just a few terms you can throw into a trust to ensure that the assets go where you desire:

  • You can name a trustee other than your adult child. This makes it so that a future ex-spouse of your adult child has no claim whatsoever over the assets. You can then declare that the trustee only distribute funds to the beneficiary in a separate account that is strictly used for their inheritance and to monitor all transactions the account is used for; this helps prevent commingling of assets in joint accounts held by your adult child and their spouse (commingling can give the spouse a claim, as joint assets are generally considered marital property)
  • You can tell the trustee that assets are for specific uses in the future, such as your grandchildren’s educations or other expenses.
  • You can tell the trustee that assets are not to be distributed to your adult child without the existence of a comprehensive prenuptial agreement or postnuptial agreement that ensures that assets remain with your adult child and not their spouse.
  • You can even declare that certain assets are not to be distributed contingent upon expectations that you set forth.

If you do decide to create a trust, you must make sure that the terms of the trust leave no room for loopholes or leeway. An estate attorney can help you do just that.

Protecting Your Assets From Your Adult Child’s Ex-Spouse

If you have an adult child who is set to inherit your collected assets in the future, and that adult child is in a serious relationship and may be planning marriage soon, you may be so ecstatic about the upcoming nuptials that you fail to consider that your adult child’s spouse stands to inherit your assets as well.

There are a few ways you can ensure that your life’s work does not fall into the hands of a vengeful ex in-law if the upcoming marriage ends in divorce. The first is something we talk about a lot ”“ the prenuptial agreement.

Convincing Your Adult Child To Get A Prenup

There are a few circumstances where prenups are highly important to consider (although we recommend that every couple thinks about a prenup before tying the knot). Those circumstances are the following:

  • When you have a substantially wealthy family
  • When your adult child is employed in a family business that you own
  • When your adult child has children from a previous marriage or relationship
  • When you have gifted significant assets to your adult child in the past

If any of the above is true, be sure to convey to your son or daughter the importance of a prenup to protect any current and future assets, including those that the adult child would inherit from you in the future.

If your son or daughter says no to the prenup (we get it ”“ it’s an awkward conversation to have with a spouse-to-be), you have another option to ensure that your assets are divided the way you want: creating a trust. We’ll go in depth on that subject this Wednesday.