What Makes a Gray Divorce Different?

Many people get married for the wrong reasons. Maybe they were young and wanted companionship. Perhaps they married for money and found out that they are incompatible with their spouse.

Sometimes people change as they get older. The children are gone and they are no longer content living with their spouse. Suddenly they realize that they are no longer satisfied with their marriage.

Couples who divorce at a younger age find it easier to move on. Their divorce may have been costly, but they still have 30 or 40 years to work and earn more money. This isn’t the case with couples going through gray divorces.

Gray divorces occur after a person turns 50. In the past, getting divorced after 50 was unheard of. It has now become a trend. In fact, the divorce rate for those age 50 and older has doubled since 1990.

At age 50, people have dreams of retirement. For many, those dreams have been replaced with thoughts of divorce. While divorce is no walk in the park at any age, it’s even more difficult as you approach retirement.

What to Expect

One of the biggest things that will be affected by a gray divorce is retirement. As you get older, you have less time to save up for retirement. If you are getting ready to retire, you will likely need to postpone it. If you already are retired, you may need to go back into the workforce. That’s because in a divorce, your assets will be split to fund two households instead of one.

A divorce may change your lifestyle. To make ends meet, you may need to downsize. Instead of your fancy four-bedroom home, you may need to consider a more affordable studio apartment for the time being.

Divorces are also more complicated as you get older. You’ve had much more time to accumulate assets than a couple who was married only several years. Asset division can take some time to finalize, and time equals money.

As people age and develop health problems, medical insurance becomes a primary concern. One spouse may not be able to afford it, so the other spouse agrees to pay for it. In some cases, couples live apart but stay legally married solely for health insurance benefits.

Making matters worse is that alimony can still come into play. If you were the higher wage earner, you may now be making monthly alimony payments to your ex-spouse for the rest of your life.

Reach Out to a Talented Lakewood Divorce Lawyer

Nobody expects to get divorced in their retirement years, but it’s becoming more common as people focus on their happiness and how they can live the best life possible. If you’re considering divorce in your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, the Denver divorce attorneys at Divorce Matters can help you through the process. It will be challenging, but we can help you make the best of the situation. Contact us at (720) 408-7469 to schedule your consultation.

Getting Divorced in the Military

Divorce is a complicated matter. This is even truer when it’s a military divorce. For civilians, knowing where to file paperwork for a divorce is a no-brainer. For military spouses, the confusion starts right away. The couple may have married in one state, but is currently stationed in a different and own a home in a third state. Where should they file for divorce?

While you would need to choose a state you actually lived in, having these options can be beneficial for military members and their spouses in a divorce. Each state has different laws, and some are better suited for your situation. Keep in mind that you will likely need to travel to the state in which you choose to file your divorce, so you may want to avoid somewhere across the country.

Military law is complicated in other areas as well. If you or your spouse is in the military, here are some things you’ll need to keep in mind.

Alimony

A military spouse is often eligible to receive alimony from the military member, based on state laws. In fact, alimony tends to be common in military divorces because the non-military spouse is often unemployed and staying at home raising young children.

Unlike civilians, military members face strict punishment for failure to pay alimony. This is considered a form of misconduct that can lead to discharge if the military member does not keep current on alimony payments.

Child Custody

Money and children are big issues in military divorces. Military members tend to be deployed for weeks or months at a time. Having a set custody schedule is just not feasible. Therefore, it’s not unusual for the non-military member to get full custody of the children. The lack of stability makes it difficult for a military member to see his or her children on a regular basis, let alone care for them full time. In any case, judges will determine the best interests of the child when deciding who should get custody.

Child Support

Because military members often don’t get custody of their children, they are responsible for paying child support. If a military member has frequent deployments, he or she will likely not have regular visitation. This places an extra burden on the custodial parent, who will be tasked with caring for the children 24/7 without much of a break. Therefore, he or she may ask for a larger than usual amount of child support to offset this.

While the military requires that servicemembers adequately support family members, the military cannot force a member to pay child support without a court order.  Therefore, get a court order if your ex-spouse is refusing to pay up. If he or she still refuses, you can seek wage garnishment.

Seek Advice from an Experienced Littleton Divorce Attorney

Military divorces can be much more complicated than civilian divorces.  There are residency issues to consider as well retirement pensions, child custody issues and more. The Denver divorce attorneys at Divorce Matters can help you through this stressful time.  Schedule your consultation today by contacting us at (720) 408-7469.

A Denver Divorce Timeline

No one enjoys getting divorced. The end of your marriage may have caught you by surprise, or it could have been a long time coming. However, once divorce becomes inevitable, most people want to get it over with as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, state laws, legal procedures, and the negotiation process may slow you down on the road to newfound singledom. Find out how long a typical divorce usually takes in Denver and what to avoid if you are looking for a speedy divorce.

How Long Does a Divorce Take? Denver Divorce Laws

The timeline for divorce varies significantly from state to state. Most states have residency requirements which determine how long a person must live within its borders before the state will grant jurisdiction over his or her divorce. In Colorado, at least one spouse must have been domiciled in state for at least 90 days before they can file for divorce.

Colorado state law also requires a 90-day waiting period from the time the divorce petition is filed before the court can finalize a divorce order. At minimum, a simple, uncontested divorce will take about three months. Spouses can forego the waiting period if they have been legally separated for at least six months.

Once the initial divorce filing and summons have been submitted, both spouses have 20 days to submit their financial disclosures, although this may be extended to 40 days if a response is not received from the non-filing spouse. Couples with children will also need to take a parenting course. If all required paperwork is submitted and an agreeable divorce settlement has been reached before the 90-day waiting period is complete, a final divorce decree can be entered and signed by the judge.

The Divorce Court Process in Denver

If you have children, significant assets to disclose, or want to pursue alimony, the divorce process can take much longer than 90 days. An average divorce timeline in Denver is about six to twelve months.

Contested divorces, especially those involving child custody and visitation, may require multiple hearings and/or temporary orders. These courtroom procedures extend the length of your divorce process. If your divorce goes to trial, you can expect the entire process to take one to two years.

Negotiating a Divorce Settlement

The good news is most divorces will reach a settlement before they ever go to trial. The negotiation process can still go on for quite a while, especially if the spouses are very far apart in terms of agreement. The easiest way to speed up the negotiations process is to work amicably with your spouse and be willing to compromise. Negotiations move faster when both spouses are cooperative and motivated. Consider using alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation, to reach a mutually agreeable settlement.

Denver Colorado Divorce Lawyers

If you are considering divorce, it is important to consult a qualified Denver divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Divorce Matters is a Denver-based law firm exclusively dedicated to divorce and family law matters. Contact us today to schedule a consultation in our Greenwood Village or Lakewood locations.

Who Gets the Kids for Christmas?

Christmas is often described as a magical time of year, but for divorced parents, the holidays are nothing but stress. Having to share custody of the kids and possibly spend Christmas alone is nobody’s idea of fun. However, many parents are able to work through it and come up with workable custody schedules to ensure that children get to see both parents while on winter break.

”˜Tis the season for compromise. But what if you and the other parent cannot agree on a custody schedule? You may need to discuss the situation with your lawyer and get the courts involved. The courts, however, prefer that parents work it out on their own. When the court has to make the decision, both parents end up losing.

Christmas is a time where kids are off school and parents have time off work. So how can you determine child custody during Christmas in a fair way so you both get time with your children? Here are some ideas.

Split the Days

Christmas encompasses two days: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Since both parents tend to want to celebrate Christmas with the kids, each parent can choose day. One parent can have the kids on Christmas Eve until the evening (say 8 p.m. or 9 p.m.) and then the kids can spend Christmas Day with the other parent. This only works, however, if the parents live close to each other.

One Week at a Time

If you and the other parent live a great distance from each other, you may want to consider having a week with the kids. Kids tend to have two weeks off school during this time, so you can get the first or second week and the other parent can have the other. You can still break it up at Christmas Eve, though, so both parents can see the kids on Christmas.

What to Keep in Mind

Don’t argue with the other parent about every holiday. Think about the holidays that are most important to you and develop a custody schedule from there. You may have to compromise or create new traditions, and that’s OK. Life for you and the children will change to some degree after a divorce.

Also, plan your Christmastime custody schedule well in advance. Don’t tell the kids the day before Christmas what will be happening. You and the other parent should have the schedule nailed down by November. Confirm the schedule via email or phone and print out a hard copy. You may want to give a copy to your lawyer for legal purposes.

Contact a Denver Child Custody Lawyer Today

Child custody matters can be complicated, especially during the holidays. While both parents want to spend Christmas with their children, you might not always get your way. Compromises will need to be made. If you require assistance creating a holiday parenting plan, contact the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We will help you get a favorable outcome. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Paternity, DNA & Old Wives Tales

Sure, you thought that DNA test would prove paternity once and for all right? Wrong. When unmarried couples bear children, the father is not automatically entitled to have his name on the birth certificate.  A father can have his name on the birth certificate simply by proving though a paternity action he is the biological father. A father can also have his name placed on the birth certificate if he signs a written acknowledgement of paternity. You can acknowledge paternity even if you are not the biological father.
This signed acknowledgement of paternity can be challenged within 60 days. After 60 days, a signed acknowledgement of paternity can be challenged only on the basis of fraud, duress or material mistake of fact. If a man signs an acknowledgement of paternity then that man can become liable for child support even if he is not the biological father.
If you say you are the father in writing, it may be very difficult to avoid paying child support later on even if DNA evidence proves otherwise. This is because a signed acknowledgement of paternity is extremely difficult to set aside after 60 days.

When Can I Make a Divorce Plan Modification?

Once the final decree has been entered, most people believe their divorce is over. However, there are some situations in which a divorce settlement or judgment may need to be changed. Keep in mind only certain aspects of your divorce decree can be modified. Court orders involving asset and property distribution are typically unable to be altered. Learn more about when a modification to your divorce order may be appropriate.

Child Custody

Child custody and parenting time are issues that may need to be readdressed as children get older and circumstances change. Either parent may request to modify a child custody order. However, child custody and decision-making orders can only be modified every two years, unless the child’s health and/or emotional development is endangered or a custodial parent is making plans to move far away. You must be able to demonstrate that the modification is in the best interest of the child, as well as show circumstances have changed significantly since the last time the custody order was modified. Keep in mind that adjustments to parenting time may also affect your child support obligations.

Child Support

Child support payments are likely to fluctuate over the course of a child’s life. A parent’s child support obligations are based on the incomes of both parents, the amount of parenting time granted to each parent, and the needs of the child. If any of these factors change, your child support order should be modified to reflect your family’s current situation. You can submit a request to modify your child support order in the following circumstances:

  • your child has been emancipated;
  • either parent has experienced a change in income;
  • the cost of child care, health insurance, or other expenses for the child has changed; or
  • the amount of time the child spends with either parent has changed.

Alimony

Alimony is awarded based on the supported spouse’s needs and the supporting spouse’s ability to pay. If either of these change, a modification may be in order. An alimony agreement might need to be altered if either spouse experiences a drastic change in his or her financial situation. For example, if the supported spouse lands a big-time job with a higher salary than that of the supporting spouse, alimony payments should probably be eliminated or reduced.

Parenting Plans

Parenting plans typically include agreements regarding visitation arrangements, as well as each parent’s support obligations. Many parents also include guidelines for communication, rules for significant others, and lifestyle decisions, such as decisions about the child’s religious observance, medical care, education decisions, and after-school activities. If both parents agree to the modification, they can jointly submit an amended parenting plan to the judge for approval. However, if a dispute between the parents cannot be settled out-of-court, the judge may grant a hearing to consider the proposed modification.

Contact a Denver Divorce Modification Lawyer Today

If you need to change your child custody, child support, or alimony order, contact the experienced family law attorneys at Divorce Matters. Call us at (720) 726-1417 or fill out the online contact form to request a consultation at our Greenwood Village or Lakewood locations.

Happenings Around The Firm

Here at Divorce Matters, we’ve been getting into the holiday spirit by sharing our good fortunes with others.
Over the course of November we collected three boxes filled with food that went to the Hand That Feeds Food Drive benefiting the Denver Rescue Mission.
The founding partner of our firm Doug Thomas took things to another level when he donated $5,000 to the Denver Rescue Mission and their representative Lisette on air with Willie B on 106.7 KBPI!

Why Selling Your Engagement Ring Might Be A Good Idea After Divorce

Divorce can be full of challenges. Both emotionally and financially, this can be a stressful time and you will likely be looking for ways to overcome these difficulties. One of the most practical steps you can take is to sell the engagement ring. Why?

Financial benefits of selling your engagement ring

With the costs associated with divorce and juggling finances alone instead of as a couple, it can be important to generate additional income. Selling your engagement ring can help you quickly raise money to put towards any legal costs or simply adjust to your new life. Taking the pressure off of your financial situation can bring a lot of relief and reduce stress.
Your engagement ring may be one of the most expensive items that you own, but it is also the most disposable in the sense that it no longer adds value to your day-to-day life. Unlike a house or a car, it is highly unlikely that you will be inconvenienced by no longer owning your engagement ring. The bottom line is that selling the ring is a practical financial decision.

Emotional benefits of selling your engagement ring

What have you done with your engagement ring? Hidden it in a drawer to gather dust? Are you aware of where it is but avoiding looking at it? Or are you still wearing it because you don’t know what else to do with it at this point? Whenever you feel ready to deal with the ring, selling it can be a great way to move on emotionally.
The ring now symbolizes your previous relationship and is a constant reminder of something that you are likely looking to move on from. Letting go of something steeped in emotional baggage and history can be cathartic and allows you to symbolically put your past behind you. So why not trade it in to buy new jewelry or sell it and put the money towards your divorce costs, a vacation or simply treat yourself? It is time for new beginnings and holding on to your past may hold you back from starting over.

How to sell your engagement ring quickly and safely

When to sell the ring is an entirely personal decision. You will want to make sure that you are comfortable with the idea of selling your engagement ring, but also comfortable with who you are selling to. There are a variety of ways you can sell your engagement ring, but in order to sell safely and quickly for the best price, working with a reputable and established diamond buyer is your best bet. WP Diamonds can help you sell discreetly in as little as 24 hours, online or via appointment. Get a price quote for your engagement ring today to start the selling process. You can also trade it in for a new piece of jewelry that represents this new phase in your life.

7 Things to Know About Compromising Photos

If you are or have been in a relationship for an extended period, you may have sent some less-than-appropriate photographs to your significant other. While this is not illegal (unless you’re sending them to someone who is underage), sharing these photos on social media and through text messages to friends, family, and co-workers is. Below, you will find our list of seven things you need to know about compromising photos from your ex.

1. It’s a crime to share them

This means posting, emailing, texting, snapping, or  sending them in any way. In Colorado, it is a misdemeanor to distribute or post compromising photos with the intent to harass them. The prosecutor must show the photos were posted with the “intent to harass and inflict severe emotional distress” and that the photos were posted without consent and the posting actually inflicted severe emotional distress.   That sounds like a great burden for the prosecutor, but juries and judges may have very little tolerance for this.

2. It’s a Crime If You Post the Photos For Money or “Pecuniary Gain”

In this case, the prosecutor just has to show the photos were private and that they were posted for money. There is not any need to show harassment or emotional distress. Posting your ex-s photos for money is a misdemeanor.

3. It’s  a Civil Cause of Action

In other words, you can be sued for posting the photos. The law provides the victim can sue for the greater of $10,000 or actual damages plus attorney’s fees.  The court can also order that the photos be removed.

4. The Laws That Protect Compromising Photos of You are Called “Revenge Porn” Laws

That notion was that people were posting the “porn” to seek revenge on their ex.  The photos though don’t have to be pornographic, but they do have to reveal “private parts.”

5. The Photographer Loses Any Commercial Copyright

Typically, the copyright belongs to the photographer not the subject of the photo, but under the revenge porn laws, the photographer loses any right to those photos.

6. It May Not Protect Celebrities in Colorado

Both the criminal and civil laws do not apply to newsworthy events. So, if you photographed your ex naked while publically protesting fur coats, you can sell that photo and post away.  The news worth exception seems to go farther and covers “public figures” and persons of “fame ”¦ that shape events.”  Sorry Black Chyna and Paris Hilton, you may not be covered in Colorado.

7. Cheaters Are Covered

Yeah, there’s no exception for cheating. So, if you caught your ex cheating and have photographic proof. I wouldn’t post that either. There no moral clause in this statute and all compromising photo are covered.

Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney Today

It is important to remember that these kinds of things apply to all situations and not just after you break up or get divorced. Posting photos of someone (especially compromising ones) without their express permission is illegal. If you’ve experienced “revenge porn” or anything similar, contact an experienced Denver family law attorney to help you determine the next steps you should take!

Budgeting For Life After Divorce

Colorado divorce attorney

Creating a monthly budget can help you reign in your finances when you are going through a divorce. This can be incredibly helpful to keep you on track and ensure you don’t end up racking up debt on your credit cards. It also helps you keep moving towards your financial goals in a positive direction.

Your first step is going to be evaluating what your total net income is. Many people make the mistake of thinking about their income before taxes as their take-home pay when in reality you have to consider that taxes, social security, benefits, and retirement savings are taken out of your gross monthly income before your money is deposited into your bank account. The number you want to use is the number you get after all of these things are taken out of your paycheck.

Take a month to track your spending and at the end of the month categorize all of your expenses. Things such as gas, utilities, and your rent/mortgage are necessities that must be accounted for monthly. Things such as groceries and your cable bill can be categorized as adjustable’s. These are items that you could probably economize your spending with if need be. Finally, you have your expendables. These are items such as dinners out or the movies, these are items that you could eliminate and are not necessary spending.

During this month take the time to focus on what your financial goals are. Do you want to contribute to your retirement fund? Are you trying to pay off a credit card? Do you need to save for a down payment for a new home? Answer these questions for yourself so you know how to prioritize your spending and your budget.

Now you can go in and see after your necessities how much extra money you have left to spend. Here you can make adjustments to your list of expendable items first and then work towards lowering your adjustable’s as well so that at the end of the month you have enough left over to put towards your financial goals. By making these adjustments to your budget and sticking to them you are able to move steadily in the right direction.

*If you had retirement funds when you were married that when you divorced resulted in a QDRO, our attorney Ashley Balicki can help you with the division of those assets. She is specially qualified to help with these financial matters. Call Divorce Matters at 720-542-6142 to schedule a consultation with her today.