Category: Before Divorce

Health insurance. Housing costs. Credit problems.

It is easy for financial issues to blindside you during divorce. Divorce is expensive, and that’s without including the hidden and future costs that you will face. If you are unprepared for life after divorce, you may find yourself teetering on the edge of a financial spiral downward ”“ preparation is key.

The simplest way to protect your financial future is to create a budget, a step that a shocking number of divorcees do not take. For those who do, many fail to follow the budget. Some overestimate how much money they actually have and others don’t realize how much they actually spend. Follow these tips to make sure your budget is accurate ”“ and then stick to it!

1. Total all of your income sources. Your job, your second job and any other income you receive, such as spousal maintenance. Once you do, subtract any known costs you must pay, such as child support.
2. Total up your recurring costs, such as your car payments, rent/mortgage and insurance payments. Once you have a list, consider eliminating some costs that you don’t need. Do you really need unlimited data on your cell phone, for example?
3. Consider all fluctuating expenses. Entertainment, your morning coffee, haircuts, etc. If it is not an absolute necessity (you have a gym membership, but your new condo has a gym onsite, for example) consider eliminating that cost.
4. Now that you have an accurate picture of income vs. spending, do you have income or a deficit at the end of the month? If the former, excellent! Consider putting that money into savings or a retirement account. If the latter, revisit your budget and see if you can eliminate any more unnecessary expenses.

Know this ”“ while a budget is valuable for any recent divorcee, it does not have to be permanent. Keeping yourself afloat during this tumultuous time will ensure that you have ground to stand on when you are in a better position financially.

Health insurance. Housing costs. Credit problems.

It is easy for financial issues to blindside you during divorce. Divorce is expensive, and that’s without including the hidden and future costs that you will face. If you are unprepared for life after divorce, you may find yourself teetering on the edge of a financial spiral downward ”“ preparation is key.

The simplest way to protect your financial future is to create a budget, a step that a shocking number of divorcees do not take. For those who do, many fail to follow the budget. Some overestimate how much money they actually have and others don’t realize how much they actually spend. Follow these tips to make sure your budget is accurate ”“ and then stick to it!

1.       Total all of your income sources. Your job, your second job and any other income you receive, such as spousal maintenance. Once you do, subtract any known costs you must pay, such as child support.

2.       Total up your recurring costs, such as your car payments, rent/mortgage and insurance payments. Once you have a list, consider eliminating some costs that you don’t need. Do you really need unlimited data on your cell phone, for example?

3.       Consider all fluctuating expenses. Entertainment, your morning coffee, haircuts, etc. If it is not an absolute necessity (you have a gym membership, but your new condo has a gym onsite, for example) consider eliminating that cost.

4.       Now that you have an accurate picture of income vs. spending, do you have income or a deficit at the end of the month? If the former, excellent! Consider putting that money into savings or a retirement account. If the latter, revisit your budget and see if you can eliminate any more unnecessary expenses.

Know this ”“ while a budget is valuable for any recent divorcee, it does not have to be permanent. Keeping yourself afloat during this tumultuous time will ensure that you have ground to stand on when you are in a better position financially.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. While you mostly hear those words in the context of crime, it is still wise to remember them when you are going through a divorce. The things you say to your spouse can easily come back to haunt you in court, especially when a divorce is contentious.

Does that mean that you should never speak to your spouse during divorce? Of course not. There are plenty of matters in a divorce that would be easier to figure out if both parties are on speaking terms. However, when you should speak to your spouse and what you should say are both very important considerations to make.

When To Talk To Your Spouse

You should only communicate with your spouse if the communications are to be positive, important and cordial. Feelings can run a little hot in divorce ”“ it happens, it’s normal ”“ but you want to keep a level head. If you act hateful or threatening, that will hurt you in divorce court in matters such as child custody.

Another thing to keep in mind: if you are speaking to your spouse through texts or emails or anything like that, it is wise to keep accurate and thorough records about these communications, especially the ones that involve important aspects of your divorce, such as visitation schedules, medical details or tax returns. As far as actual phone calls, you can record those as well without the other party’s consent in Colorado, but if the divorce is between two states, you should refrain from recording phone calls unless your spouse is also in a one-party consent state.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, Tinder, Reddit, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google+, Vine, MeetUp ”“ we don’t have to list very many social networking sites to show that social media has become a big part of our culture. It has permeated every facet of technology ”“ even video games like Candy Crush have social media elements, and every news site and business page contains links to social media.

Because these sites have become so integrated into daily life, people going through a divorce may not realize just how bad of an idea it can be to post on social media. Everything you do online leaves a digital footprint ”“ and if someone really wants to find it, they can, and it can lead to complications for your divorce case.

What You Say Online Can Make or Break Your Divorce Case

Here are just a few examples of how seemingly benign social media posts can hurt your divorce case.

• You are trying to get your spousal support (maintenance) payments lowered, yet you are posting pictures of your brand new SUV or expensive designer shoes on Facebook.
• You reschedule your parenting time and spend the weekend partying at the beach and post the pictures online, demonstrating bad parenting.
• You take date night selfies with your new SO before the divorce is final.
• You list yourself as single and childless on Tinder while seeking child custody.

Contact Our Divorce Team for Social Media Tips

Social media is huge for divorce cases these days, and you should always assume that whatever you are putting online is being saved and printed by the other party in your case. Always take steps to safeguard your social media accounts, such as keeping your privacy settings strict and saving your divorce challenges for a therapist or close friend. Contact our divorce team for more information on how social media can affect your divorce.

Our Denver divorce attorneys use every resource available, including social media, to ensure you receive your equitable share of marital property.

When a divorce is in the works, one key element of the process is the service of divorce forms to your spouse. Service of process is an essential part of the legal system, because it informs all parties involved what is happening and gives everyone a chance to prepare for their day in court.

Once you have prepared your forms and filed with your courthouse, you will need to serve your spouse the divorce papers as soon as you can. Depending on whether or not your spouse has a lawyer, the process may be a little different.

Options When Serving Your Spouse with a Divorce Petition

1. You can have your spouse sign a Waiver and Acceptance of Service form. These documents must be signed in the presence of a notary to be admitted in court.
2. You can set up a personal service with another person. Some people do this by asking the local sheriff’s department to set up the service and some people use private process servers. You can also have a responsible person ”“ a friend or family member ”“ over the age of 18 serve your spouse. If you elect for the last option, you should make sure that the person has no involvement in your divorce proceedings. The person will then bring you a completed return of service form, which you will take to the court.
3. If your spouse already has an attorney, the attorney may waive service for your spouse and will have to sign a Waiver of Acceptance of Service form and file it with the court.

Call an Experienced Dever Divorce Attorney

The process is usually straightforward. Any questions you have regarding the divorce process should be brought up with your divorce attorney.

You try and try, but the words just can’t come out. It’s hard to say those four awful words: “I want a divorce.” Even if you want one so bad that it hurts, it can still be difficult to tell your spouse that it’s over. The words must come out, though ”“ so here’s how you do it.

1. Timing is key. There is no point dragging out the process; it only prolongs the suffering. If you know that you want a divorce, be upfront with it as soon as you can bear it. Pick a time when you will be calm, unstressed and able to talk it over with your spouse.
2. Be cordial, reasonable and direct. It is normal for emotions to go a little overboard during this time, but you must stay level-headed. Try not to blame your spouse or point out faults. Focus on yourself and your feelings ”“ “I” statements are always better than “you” statements.
3. Be serious. Don’t use divorce as a tool to manipulate or threaten your spouse. That word can ruin a potentially savable marriage. If you are going to say it, be absolutely sure, and whatever you do, don’t say it during a fight or in front of the kids.
4. If safety is a concern, have someone there with you. A public declaration of divorce might not be ideal, but could be necessary. A therapist is a good option as well. If a divorce is going to be contentious, you should also look into divorce mediation once you’ve decided that divorce is the only option.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Here’s something you don’t see every day: a New York City judge has okayed a Brooklyn woman’s divorce filing to proceed through Facebook.

The woman’s husband vanished several years ago, and correspondence with him was only possible over the phone and through messaging on the social media platform. Because he was so difficult to get in touch with, the woman had issues serving him with divorce papers. Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Matthew Cooper ruled that Facebook was an acceptable venue to file the documents.

How Do I File for a Facebook Divorce?

This situation is a fairly unique one. Despite media headlines pointing to the new possibility of a Facebook divorce, you cannot serve divorce papers through social media except in certain extreme circumstances approved by a judge when all other options have been exhausted.

In most divorce processes, the spouse will enter a voluntary appearance after contact with the initiating spouse’s divorce attorney. If he or she does not enter a voluntary appearance, then the next step is to have the papers served personally by a sheriff or a process server.

In the event that the spouse cannot be found, as in the Brooklyn woman’s case, the court could potentially seek less common means of service, but to do so is exceedingly rare. It is much more common for the filing spouse to receive default judgment against the spouse evading service of process or who is completely out of contact. If a party cannot be served, the court will usually require a notice to be published in the local newspaper of where the evading party resides first before other extreme measures are taken.

In other words, the only reason this Facebook divorce was allowed through the system is because the only reliable method of communication with him was via Facebook.

If you are facing an evasive spouse, choosing a skilled divorce attorney could help you map out your options to get your divorce filed.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys

Source: https://gawker.com/if-you-live-in-new-york-you-can-probably-file-for-divor-1696077657

Complaining about anything and everything on social media has become an American pastime, and people’s family situations are not exempt from this. Social media can be a cathartic way to express your feelings, but it can also be a great way to present yourself in a bad light if you are thinking about filing for divorce or child custody. One of the most common ways people do this is by bashing a spouse or co-parent to the world on Facebook!

Social media websites are never completely private, even if you have your account on the highest priority settings. Information, status updates and pictures can be requested by the other side in a divorce or custody case. Family law cases are very emotional, and while it is completely understandable to want to vent to your friends and family, we would recommend logging out of the account and slowly stepping away from the computer or Smartphone when you get the urge. Your emotional and possibly rage-inspired posts may be subject to discovery in court and could come under scrutiny by the judge presiding over your case.

Can I Post About My Spouse or Ex on Facebook?

As intense as the desire to put your angry words into feelings, remember cyberspace never forgets! As much as you’d like to shout to the world about your ex being the personification of evil itself, a judge will not appreciate or sympathize with the sentiment. This is particularly true when there are children involved in the matter. One aspect of child custody law that judges consider is the willingness of a parent to cooperate with the other, so it helps to take the high road (which can certainly be a bumpy one).

A recent case of Facebooking gone wrong happened last year in Cincinnati, when a photographer ranted about the hellish conditions of being married to his soon-to-be ex-wife. Even though his posts were made on a high privacy setting, his wife found out through a mutual friend and went to the court. The judge ordered the man to apologize or face time in jail. This may be an extreme example, but a UK study claimed Facebook is now being used as evidence in almost one-third of divorces.

There are better and less risky ways to express your feelings, such as talking to trusted family members or a counselor. Your Facebook feed should not read like an episode of Maury, so remember that the less you say, the better.

Divorce Matters – Denver Divorce Attorneys

The Aga Khan, a 77-year-old British man who is the spiritual leader of the Ismaili Muslims, and his wife, a German princess and former pop singer, are finally divorced. All it took was 10 years, two courts (one in France and one in England), and a settlement of £50 million ($83.1 million).

There are lots of oddities in this case: a man thought to be the direct descendent of the Prophet Mohammed; enough moolah to make this one of the most expensive divorces in history; and, eventually, a secret court decision wherein the marriage “ends by consent.” The most startling element, however, may be that the marriage broke down way back in 2004””the year Facebook launched, Athens held the Olympics, and Usher’s “Yeah!” ruled the airwaves.

Although the decade-long divorce battle does occasionally occur, most cases are finalized within three to six months on average. Colorado has a mandatory waiting period of 91 days from the date divorce papers are filed, so it will take at least three months to be officially divorced even if there are no issues to resolve in court. Factors such as child custody arrangements and the partitioning of financial assets will naturally prolong the divorce process, but the number of waiting cases in each county could also delay your final hearing date — though probably not by 10 or 12 years.

One important thing to note about divorce timelines in Colorado is that judges in certain counties rotate fairly often, generally once every two years; therefore, it’s possible that a judge may not stay on for the life of your case. This could hurt or help you depending on the circumstances, so remember that it is perfectly legal to hire your own judge in the Centennial State. In Douglas County, for example, divorce hearings are being scheduled for approximately 14 months in the future, which means a private judge might be the ticket to a faster, more economical decree of dissolution.

We know it feels like sorting out all the formal details takes forever and a day once you’ve decided to end a marriage, but hopefully the Aga Khan’s saga helps put those long months in perspective. And bear in mind, he’s still got nothing on the Purpuras.