3 Ways To Reclaim Valentine’s Day After Divorce

It’s that time of year again, the day the whole world celebrates love. With all of the focus being put towards having the most romantic day ever, this day can often feel painful to those who have recently gone through divorce. But it doesn’t have to be! All of the cards and balloons in the world will tell you that Valentine’s Day is about spending time with a significant other. Who says you have to follow the rules? There are plenty of other people in your life who you can celebrate. Here are three ways that you can reclaim Valentine’s Day for yourself after divorce:

  1. Spend the evening sharing one of your favorite recipes or an old family recipe with your children. Let them pitch in and show them how it’s done! Put on some of your favorite tunes and share that special magic of cooking a meal from scratch with them. Bonus: they will learn the importance of cooking homemade meals!
  2. This year Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday, meaning most of us have to work on Friday. If you’re feeling like you just want to spend your evening in relaxing, this is a great evening to treat yourself. Grab your favorite dessert or treat, curl up on the couch and watch one of your favorite movies. Spend some time enjoying your own company!
  3. Friends are one of the most important support systems, especially when you are dealing with divorce. If Valentine’s Day has you feeling down, try reaching out to your friends and seeing if any of them are also looking for something to do. Organizing an evening of fun is a great way to take your mind off of things and to share some laughter with that support system.

Should You Stay Together for the Kids?

Should You Stay Together for the Kids?

Everyone has heard the phrase, “Staying together for the kids.” But is it always a good idea? To decide whether sticking it out for the sake of your children is the right option for you, you should analyze the pros and cons.

Pro: It Will be Easier Financially

Maintaining two households is expensive, and many parents are struggling or barely making ends meet as is. Can you really afford for one parent to set up an apartment somewhere or buy a new home? You will probably pay more in food, gas, and utilities, to say nothing about the extra mortgage or rent payment. If you can not swing a separation financially, then you might need to stay together.

Con: An Abusive Relationship Can Harm Your Children

Some marriages are so tumultuous or abusive that your children live in fear and probably avoid asking friends to come over. Hearing that the marriage is over might elicit a sigh of relief. By ending the relationship, you can dramatically improve your children’s state of mind and can also be more available for your children.

Pro: Your Children Could be Harmed by Divorce

Many people believe that children are resilient and can come through the divorce with flying colors. Although that may be true for some children, it certainly is not true for all. As Time Magazine reported recently, many middle-aged people are speaking out about the pain they have carried from their parents’ divorce decades ago. Therapist Judith Wallerstein, for example, argued in her book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce that children experience more serious, and longer lasting, harm than many people have suspected.

Con: You Model for Your Children that it is Okay to be Miserable

Children look to their parents as role models, and people who are miserable and constantly bickering set a terrible example for their children. Some parents wrongly believe that they are effectively hiding their disagreements from their children. But as psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps has argued, children pick up more than you might think. Children will learn that you cope with stress by denying that there is a problem””a terrible lesson for your children going forward.

Considering Divorce? Discuss Your Legal Concerns with a Lakewood, Colorado Divorce Lawyer

Whether to get divorced is a complicated question, and only you can answer it. However, if you have questions about how a divorce will affect you legally, you should meet with an experienced Greenwood divorce attorney. At Divorce Matters, we offer potential clients a free consultation, so please contact us today.

 

Domestic Violence Laws in Colorado

Colorado has a very broad criminal definition of domestic violence.  This is designed to provide the greatest amount of protection for a victim of domestic violence and gives the police the greatest latitude to arrest someone.  Colorado criminal law defines domestic violence as “an act or threatened an act of violence upon a person with whom the actor is or has been involved in an intimate relationship.”  As you can see this is a very broad definition.

It’s Not Just Married Couples

An intimate relationship does not mean you have to be married. It applies to couples and even boyfriends and girlfriends, it even applies to past lovers as well as the present.  It also applies to children, grandchildren, and others present in the household. Again, the idea provides maximum protection to the broadest possible group living in a household or making up a domestic unit.

Recognizing Domestic Violence

Because Domestic Violence includes a “threatened act” of violence very common situations can be construed as a criminal act including:

  • Throwing things at someone
  • Grabbing or pushing
  • Following someone around
  • Threatening or harassing phone calls.

There does not have to be actual physical touching or even physical harm. The threat of harm can be enough and the threat of harm does not have to be in person. Emails, phone calls, text messages are all sufficient to be charged with domestic violence crime.   Texts to Ex’s can be domestic violence if they are threatening or harassing.

Contact a Denver Domestic Violence Lawyer for Help

If you feel like you are in domestic violence situation, call the police or reach out to the appropriate helpline to get the help you need. Don’t let an abusive partner control your life, get out of the bad situations and let the family law attorneys at Divorce Matters help!

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Do You Need To Discuss Your Divorce In Your Workplace?

Divorce is an already difficult situation, and when you are facing work on Monday it can seem even more daunting. What are you supposed to share with your co-workers and what should you keep to yourself? Should you share the news you are going through a divorce with your boss or human resources?
Eventually you will let human resources know about your divorce, mostly for practical reasons as you will need to update a lot of your benefits paperwork once the divorce is finalized. You may also want to share the news privately with your direct superior so that they understand what is going on when you have to take time off for things such as mediation or attorney meetings.
When it comes to speaking about it with your co-workers in general, you will want to exercise discretion. Are you a person who is very close to your co-workers? Some people will have developed close friendships with some of their co-workers independent of their professional relationship. If this is the case, feel free to share what you are comfortable sharing. However, do not feel obligated to share it with every one of your coworkers.

Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen Not Divorcing After All?

Retired NBA legend Scottie Pippen filed for divorce from wife Larsa Pippen of Real Housewives of Miami about three months ago. The two were married for 20 years before the announcement, which came a few days after Fort Lauderdale police responded to disturbances at their residence twice.

What caused the split? Some sources suggested infidelity on one or both party’s parts was the cause. Some sources say Scottie’s open flirtation with an actress led to Larsa acting out, while others say that Larsa’s relationship with rapper Future was far too cozy.

Larsa recently posted a Snapchat photo of a stunning 14-carat ring, a Valentine’s Day gift (from who, she would not say), sparking rumors that the two were reconciling. Now, sources close to the two have said that both missed deadlines for their divorce process and that the two are working out their problems.

Is It Worth It To Try To Make My Failing Marriage Work?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether a couple should bite the bullet and file for divorce, or if they should try to work it out. Consider the following if you are unsure:

  1. Have you sought marriage counseling? Communication can be difficult, especially when two spouses don’t see eye to eye. A counselor can help.
  2. Have you and your spouse isolated the real problems each of you has with your marriage?
  3. How well do the two of you listen to one another?
  4. Are you two able to compromise and find time to enjoy together?
  5. When you fight, is it more productive or destructive?
  6. Are you and your spouse able to let grudges go?
  7. Are you working toward the same goal?
  8. Are you willing to work out the issues?

Answering these questions won’t give you your answer, but it will help you make a more informed decision.

If you have any questions regarding an upcoming divorce and require legal assistance, our Denver divorce lawyers are ready to help.

How Do I Get My Name Off The House Deed During My Divorce?

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Unless you’re planning a birdnesting-type situation to raise the kids after divorce, most people don’t want to live in the same home as their ex-spouse. If both of your names are on the house deed, one of you will need to take your name off the deed.

One way to do this is by having whichever ex-spouse is remaining in the home refinance the property, a common option for divorcees. However, this depends on that party’s ability to refinance. You could get a court order to have your ex refinance the home, but without the means to actually do so, it is difficult to force a hand.

If your ex does, on the other hand, have the ability to refinance but has not done so, you may be able to get a judge’s order to spur the action. This could lead to legal fees, especially if your original divorce judge no longer has jurisdiction over your case (if you have waited several years to pull your name from the deed, for example).

What Happens If I Don’t Remove My Name from the Deed?

As long as your name remains on the deed, you are considered a legal owner of that home. This means that if your ex-spouse still living in the house fails to make mortgage payments, your credit can suffer. If your ex does not have liability insurance and someone is hurt at that home, you can still be sued for damages for that person’s injuries. It’s always best to settle these types of issues while negotiating a divorce settlement, not after.

Denver family law attorneys dedicated to helping divorce clients through this intensely difficult and emotional time in their lives.

What’s Causing The Increase In Gray Divorce?

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The winter weather isn’t the only thing that’s gray in the country ”“ according to studies, divorce for people over 55 has been steadily increasing over the few decades. “Gray divorce,” as senior divorce is sometimes called, doubled among people aged 55 to 64 from 1990 to 2012. In that same time, the rate tripled for people 65 and older. What’s going on? Why are so many senior couples deciding to call it quits?

One theory says that gray divorce is on the rise because society no longer views divorce as the taboo subject it once was. It’s common to hear that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (though the number has not been that high for a long time), so perhaps societal views have taken an “everyone’s doing it” tone that makes couples more willing to divorce.

Another possible reason: keeping it together for the kids. Some people decide to stay married until the children are out of the house, and by the time the children are out living on their own, the parents are approaching that age where gray divorce is a possibility.

Preparing For Gray Divorce

Couples who divorce young have an easier time rebuilding their finances than those who divorce as seniors. Seniors often don’t have very many working years left to recoup. Here are just a few tips to help soften the financial blow of gray divorce:

  1. Know the tax implications of your divorce settlement. Try to avoid tax penalties and look into a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to help protect your retirement funds from taxes if and when they are divided.
  2. Manage your savings. Look into your 401(k) or IRA and have realistic expectations of your budget moving forward.
  3.  If you were married for over 10 years, you are eligible for spousal benefits through the Social Security Administration. This can be especially helpful if one party in the marriage did not work as much as the other.

If you are seeking the services of a Colorado divorce attorney familiar with the nuances of senior divorce, our law firm can help.

“Ain’t Your Business”- T.I. Not Willing to Talk About Divorce from Tiny

Last week, we wrote about Brad and Angelina’s public statement that they would be continuing their divorce proceedings in private. It’s not uncommon for people in the public eye to shield themselves during a troubling time like divorce, and it looks like another celebrity is doing just that.

T.I., the Grammy Award-winning Atlanta rapper, recently split from his wife of six years after what seemed to be a cordial and family-filled Christmas holiday.

During an interview on Yung Joc’s morning radio show on Atlanta’s Streetz 94.5, Joc brought up the divorce and said he didn’t want to see the couple split up. T.I. was noticeably defensive, telling Joc that the divorce “ain’t your business.” While it probably did not shock him to be questioned about the divorce, it is understandable that he would be bothered by having his dirty laundry aired in such a public way.

Should I Keep My Divorce To Myself?

Divorce is a highly personal and often distressing process. It is easy to become overwhelmed with emotion and uncertainty, and because of that, it is usually healthy to speak to someone about your divorce. Of course, you probably don’t want to go on a radio show and solicit advice from a DJ (although that might work for some people), but having a support system consisting of friends and family can go a long way in addressing your fears and feelings. It’s best to start small, with a best friend or a sibling that you trust, and as you begin to get a better grip on what’s coming in the future, cast a wider net. You’d be surprised how much people are willing to do for friends and family.

Don’t take it from us ”“ ask our former clients what their experience with Divorce Matters was like.

Brad & Angelina Make First Joint Statement Since Divorce Announcement

After a rather quiet holiday with an amicable Christmas for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the couple has released their first joint statement regarding the status of their divorce.

The estranged spouses have signed agreements to seal the records of their divorce to protect the privacy of their six children. Additionally, the two will be using a private judge throughout the course of the divorce.

One month ago, Pitt took efforts to have a judge seal all divorce-related documents through an emergency hearing, but he was denied. Jolie’s camp fired back at him for the attempt, claiming that he was trying to protect himself, not the children. It seems that they were able to come to an agreement and move forward with the sealing of the documents.

This joint move may come as a shock after the period of contention the couple shared these last few months. Pitt and Jolie have a temporary custody arrangement where Pitt is allowed supervised visits with the children until a time comes that their dispute resolves. Pitt wants joint custody ”“ Jolie wants physical custody.

Determining Child Custody In Colorado Divorces

Courts in Colorado determine parenting time plans based on the best interests of the child. The child’s best interests are determined by looking at a variety of factors, including:

  • The preference of the child if they are of a mature age to express their wishes
  • The child’s educational needs and acclimation to his or her community
  • The physical and mental health of all involved parties
  • The proximity of the parents’ homes
  • The capability of each parent to put the needs of the child above their own and the ability to foster a positive relationship between the child and the other party

How the courts will decide on custody for Brangelina and the kids, we do not know, but we will be keeping an eye on the story.

Denver divorce attorneys seeking to provide exceptional client experiences to divorcing couples in Colorado. Check out our testimonials from former clients.

Angelina Jolie Spends Holidays In Colorado With Kids As Custody Battle Continues

Amidst her custody battle with ex-husband Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie has made a holiday visit to Colorado. She, along with her six kids, arrived shortly after Christmas and celebrated New Year’s Eve with some toy shopping.

Pitt and Jolie’s custody battle has loomed large since November, when Jolie’s legal representatives claimed that a custody agreement had been reached allowing her to retain custody of all six children. Pitt’s camp argues that no formal, permanent custody agreement has yet been reached. Pitt filed for joint and physical custody of his children in November.

Pitt continues to have supervised visits with his children. He was able to visit the kids during Christmas and bring them gifts.

Who Gets The Kids? Colorado Custody Battles

In Colorado, decisions regarding child custody are determined based on the best interests of the child. This means that the judge will looks at many different factors to determine a parenting time arrangement, including:

  • The parents’ wishes
  • The child’s wishes
  • The relationships between child and each parent
  • The child’s opportunity to adapt to a new living or education situation
  • The physical and mental health of the parties involved (although disability cannot be used as a sole determining factor in child custody)
  • The capability of the parents to put the needs of the child above their own

Child custody arrangements do not have to be permanent. The courts understand that circumstances change. Perhaps one parent loses his or her job, or one has to move to another country for work. There are any number of things that can go wrong that make a custody arrangement unfair or unenforceable. In those situations, the parents can ask the court for a child custody modification, which will also be based on the best interests of the child.

Our Denver family lawyers are ready to assist you in matters of child custody.