So Your Ex Is Not Paying Child Support”¦

Getting a divorce can feel a little like running a marathon. Once you reach the end, you might collapse in a heap and tell yourself, “Never again.”

Unfortunately, in many situations, the real trouble has only just begun. Now, you need to spend one or two decades co-parenting with your ex, which often involves one parent paying child support to the other based on a monthly schedule.

But what happens when the other parent refuses to pay? You can ask them to pay, but they might avoid your phone calls. In this situation, you might need to seek enforcement from the judge, called contempt of court.

What is Contempt of Court?

When you received your divorce decree, the judge entered certain orders. These are not optional recommendations to each party but judicial commands to do something. If you or your ex decides not to follow the order, then a judge can find you in contempt.

Your ex might flout the judge’s ruling in all kinds of situation, such as paying child support or alimony or refusing to transfer title of an asset that is now yours thanks to the division of property.

What are the Punishments for Contempt of Court?

Judges have the discretion to bring the party in contempt back into compliance. Sometimes, a stern warning is enough. In other situations, a judge might order the person in contempt to pay money until they start following the orders or even send the person to jail. Usually, it never gets that far””but it could.

A judge might also revisit orders. For example, the judge could award more custody to a parent if his ex decides to disobey the judge’s orders. To determine what is the best remedy, you should consult with your Denver family law attorney.

How Do I Request a Contempt Citation?

You must complete forms and submit them to the court for consideration. It is probably best to have your attorney pursue contempt for you. Making a frivolous request could hurt you more than it would help, so let a lawyer analyze whether requesting a contempt citation is in your best interests.

Divorce Matters Can Help

Obtaining a divorce is only half the battle. If you are struggling to get your ex to follow the terms of your divorce, then you might need to file for a contempt citation. Contact Divorce Matters today. Our Denver contempt of court divorce lawyers have helped countless people over the past years.

Contact us today by calling 720-580-6745 or sending us a message.

Five Things to Include in a Lakewood, CO Parenting Plan

Under Colorado law, divorcing parents are required to submit a written parenting plan regarding the key issues involved with raising their minor children. Though the terms custody and visitation have been replaced by “Allocation of Parental Responsibilities” and “Parenting Time,” many of the same traditional concepts apply. Therefore, your parenting plan must include provisions on decision-making regarding important aspects of the child’s life, as well as the time each parent spends with him or her.

However, the standard form used in Jefferson County doesn’t cover every possible parenting plan issue that may come up. Parents often overlook certain key issues, and a Lakewood, CO child custody lawyer can help you identify what they are for your situation. However, you may want to consider addressing:

Computer Time

Laptops, tablets, phones, and other devices are useful tools for education and entertainment. However, too much computer time can be detrimental to the child’s development ”“ not to mention the fact that it interferes with the whole point of parenting time: Enhancing the parent-child relationship. In your parenting plan, set reasonable parameters on computer use for certain purposes.

Holidays and School Breaks

Many parents know to include provisions on splitting time over the week, but don’t forget to address holidays and time off school. Even if you don’t designate exact dates in your parenting plan, consider a formula that will establish which parent gets to spend time with the child and when.

Right of First Refusal

You may find yourself in a situation where one parent is scheduled for parenting time but has an unforeseeable conflict. In such a situation, it would be necessary to arrange childcare. In your parenting plan, you may want to include a provision that allows for right of first refusal: If you cannot handle child care during your own parenting time, you should give the other parent the opportunity rather than a third party.

Non-Child Support Spending

You may agree to general child support rules in your parenting plan, but you may also want to address certain expenditures that fall outside these provisions. One solution is to keep receipts or notes, then split the amount equally between both parents. Of course, you can also set a maximum per month for non-child support spending.

Stealing Parenting Time

Bitterness and resentment can linger long after your divorce is finalized, and one parent may resort to misconduct out of spite. That person may purposefully schedule certain events or appointments during the other parent’s parenting time, essentially stealing time away. You can include provisions to address this tactic, such as by requiring both parents to consent in writing when signing the child up for activities. If bitterness prevents you from agreement on these issues, you could spend a lot of time in court.

An Experienced Fort Collins, CO Attorney Can Help with Parenting Plans

For more information on how to create a parenting plan that works for your circumstances, please contact Divorce Matters. Our knowledgeable lawyers can assist with negotiations, drafting the essential documents, and enforcing the provisions as necessary to protect your interests.

Happenings Around The Firm

Here at Divorce Matters, we’ve been getting into the holiday spirit by sharing our good fortunes with others.
Over the course of November we collected three boxes filled with food that went to the Hand That Feeds Food Drive benefiting the Denver Rescue Mission.
The founding partner of our firm Doug Thomas took things to another level when he donated $5,000 to the Denver Rescue Mission and their representative Lisette on air with Willie B on 106.7 KBPI!

Enjoy Your Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and for those who are recently divorced this can be an unwelcome holiday that feels like it only serves as a reminder of your divorce. Divorce is already hard enough as it is without a holiday that seems to rub salt on the wound. It would be easy enough to decide you just want a night in with you, Ben & Jerry’s but before you shut yourself in and completely fall down the rabbit hole, try these few suggestions to save the holiday for yourself.

One way to overcome sadness and stress is to exercise. Why not actually start that workout regimen you promised yourself you would begin on January 1st? Exercise is scientifically proven to reduce stress and help with depression. It is also a good way to take care of yourself. So instead of curling up on the couch in defeat, get out there and go for a run.

Another great way to spend the evening is to invite some of your closest friends out for a friends’ dinner. Choose a restaurant that takes reservations and make sure to reserve a table large enough for your group. Don’t get caught up trying to book a table at the “trendiest” spot downtown. Instead, opt for a favorite where you know it will be good and enjoy the company of your close friends.

Finally, if you really want to go it alone and spend the night in, treat yourself! Ahead of the evening, go and buy the ingredients for your favorite recipe. Spend the time cooking a delicious meal for yourself and watching a favorite movie or settling in with a book you’ve been meaning to read.

The most important thing to remember about Valentine’s Day is that it is meant to be a holiday to spend with loved ones. This doesn’t mean it has to be a significant other, that love can extend to your friends and family as well.

How Can I Serve My Spouse Divorce Papers If I Can’t Find Him/Her?

You want a divorce, but your spouse has vanished ”“ won’t answer phone calls or texts, has no online presence and no longer works at any job you know about. What do you do?

If your spouse has pulled a Houdini, it is still possible for you to get a divorce. But the courts will require you to make a good faith effort to find your spouse. There is no law dictating exactly what lengths you need to go to in order to sleuth out your spouse’s location, so it falls to the judge to decide when you’ve done enough. Here are a few things you should look into before you make your case before a judge:

  1. When and where did you last see your spouse?
  2. Check your spouse’s last known address by mail, and in person if possible
  3. Check at your spouse’s last known workplace
  4. Contact any of your spouse’s family members you can and ask if they’ve seen your spouse
  5. Search through the Denver phone books
  6. Search through the Internet
  7. Check Denver criminal court cases either online or at a courthouse
  8. Call the jails near your spouse’s last known address
  9. Check with the DMV
  10. Call local hospitals and homeless shelters

Once you’ve exhausted all possible avenues to find your spouse, you need to file a Motion to Serve by Publication or Posting with the court. After that, a judge will review your motion and decide whether you should be allowed to publish a notice stating your intent to divorce. From there, your divorce attorney can help you proceed if your spouse does not respond to your divorce filing.

Our Denver family law firm delivers strength, confidence and experienced legal representation to clients throughout Colorado.

Secrets Your Divorce Attorney Wants You To Know

Family law attorneys are highly valuable resources for any married couple. At our firm, we have attorneys of all ages and backgrounds. We are mothers, fathers, cohabitants, and divorcees ”“ we’ve been on both sides of the desk. And that’s what we’re here for: to offer our unique experiences and legal backgrounds to ensure an optimal client experience.

It is especially important to speak to a family law attorney if you are getting divorced. We thought we’d use this blog post to share a couple bits of wisdom with our readers who might be separating from their spouses. Without further ado, here are a couple of tips that we think you ought to know as you enter this new chapter of your life.

  • Don’t just hire the first divorce attorney you come across. This is your best opportunity to figure out which divorce attorney is right for you. Shop around, and if you find someone that you like and trust, go with them. You’re going to be working together for a while ”“ might as well work with someone you like.
  • Get help now, so you don’t need it later. Many couples consider a DIY divorce, and for some, that is an appropriate choice. However, if you do it yourself, you need to be wary of potential problems that you might overlook ”“ and those problems can end up costing you a LOT more than you would’ve paid if you had discussed your divorce with a legal professional first.

Our Denver family law attorneys serve clients in and around the city as well as throughout Colorado.

Six Questions to Ask When Choosing a Divorce Attorney

Recently, Frank and Jamie McCourt, owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers, reached a mutually agreeable divorce”¦with Jamie getting a settlement of $131 million in exchange for the rights to the Dodgers. Frank McCourt now faces bankruptcy, and may have to sell the team.  Shared finances, joint property, and joint debt:  while the dollar amounts may be a bit different, the issues Frank and Jamie faced, and will continue to face, are echoed in virtually every divorce in every part of the country. With all these financial (and reputational) assets in play, both of the McCourts had divorce attorneys who were hand-selected and carefully chosen to meet each of their very specific needs. And, of course, no legal expense was spared.

While every divorce is painful, most of us do not have the same level of assets and the financial ability, or willingness, to fight to the bitter end.  Further, it should not be necessary. Every divorce is difficult and every divorce brings out the worst side of a person whom we once could not live without. Every divorce is full of grief, anger, and the full range of emotions you can imagine.  Perhaps the biggest difficulty of divorce is accepting that things will change in your family’s life.  It is impossible for a couple to divorce and have everything to stay the same.

Often, emotions get the best of us in the divorce process. Some of us have a flight mentality, meaning we just want to fold our tents and get out as quickly as possible with as little emotional damage. Others want to fight for everything, down to the dog bowls and the everyday silverware. However, neither of these options has to happen, either.  Most importantly, you don’t have to bankrupt yourself to emerge from the process with your best interests protected.

Many people avoid hiring a lawyer for fear of just one more cost in an already costly process. But divorce attorneys are often a key to saving yourself money, protecting your present interests, preserving your future ones, as well as helping your family to find the best solutions to the inevitable disagreements that arise during a divorce.

Like the McCourts, you can, and should, have an attorney who can specifically meet your individual needs, if it is in your best interests and personal situation to have counsel.

Below are six questions to ask when meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time:

  1. Does the attorney specialize in divorce law? Attorneys who focus on divorce law know it inside and out and can anticipate pitfalls before they happen. They understand the nuances of family court and negotiating through what can be volatile situations. They should have experience with local family judges and magistrates (make sure and ask) and will know a great deal about those judges and how they will react to particular elements of your divorce proceeding.
  2. What are the attorney’s priorities? Your divorce is not about their priorities; it is about yours. Is he or she all about winning the most money? Protecting the children? Standing up to the demands of the opposing party? Your attorney’s priorities should align with yours as they set about handling your case. Most importantly, your attorney must be willing to understand your priorities and give you the best advice given the particulars of your case and situation. Critically, that advice will not always be what you want to hear, either.
  3. Is the attorney willing to call in outside expertise? In some divorce cases, finances or parenting situations can be highly charged. Is your attorney willing to call in a CPA or a valuation expert to value the family business? Does your attorney have therapists to recommend if your child is struggling with the divorce? Has your attorney worked with Child Family Investigators or Parental Responsibility Evaluators?
  4. How much does the attorney charge? Attorney costs are often one of the things feared most as people initiate divorce proceedings. Do not be afraid to ask about fees. How do they bill? Based on your case and finances, what alternative arrangements can they offer? Can they assist you in a do-it-yourself divorce for a smaller fee set in advance? Good attorneys offer no surprises when it comes to money. Ask questions about how and what this will cost? Feel free to ask what it might cost if you go it alone.
  5. Does the attorney come recommended? Can you speak with past clients or read client reviews somewhere? Is your attorney recognized by his or her peers in law directories for their good performance? Have they been disciplined by the state bar, and what were they disciplined for?  Do not shy away from asking for the names of past clients to talk with to understand their experiences first-hand.
  6. Do you trust the attorney? Attorney-client trust is vital to the success of your case. How do you feel about the attorney you are meeting? Is he or she friendly and approachable? Did you have a good rapport or did you feel awkward and uncomfortable? Remember, you will have to hear things you might not like during a divorce case. Does he or she seem like someone who will give you a straight answer, even if it is unpopular?

Conclusion

Choosing the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make during your divorce. These questions will hopefully help you evaluate your options, so you can choose a divorce attorney who will always have your best interests in mind.

Five Lessons From Celebrity Breakups

It doesn’t matter who you are, how many people you know (or know you), or how much money you make. Everyone, regardless of fame or fortune, will face the same life lessons in patience and strength when going through a divorce. Celebrity does not make the emotional and psychological challenges any easier, and it is likely that the media scrutiny exacerbates them. However, because celebrity divorces are so public, there are many ways we can learn from them.

Let us take a quick look at popular culture for some lessons we can learn from celebrity breakups:

  • Your posts or tweets can strike back. Rumors of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s split went viral after a few suspicious activities on Facebook and Twitter that caught discerning eyes. We also learned from Anthony Weiner’s Twitter indiscretions that social media is not the slightest bit private, and quite possibly the poorest forum for proving fidelity. While many of us have a perception of privacy when we’re on Facebook or Twitter, that perception isn’t reality. Not only are they not private, they are not fleeting, like we often believe. Nothing on the internet really ever disappears, and what you post or tweet may come back to hurt you later on.
  • Always keep an open mind towards ending your relationship peaceably. Kelsey and Camille Grammar had a very public and bitter divorce, with mud slung around from both sides”¦right up until the last moment. Their conflict came to a close with an amicable settlement that ended the relationship sooner than anticipated, leaving Mr. Grammar free to re-marry within a matter of weeks. Even though it feels like the person you once loved is now your worst enemy, try to overcome your anger and bitterness, especially when children are involved. Remember that although you may no longer be married to a person, it is highly unlikely that your contact will cease the day the Judge signs the Decree. You may be sharing custody of children or continue running a business with your soon-to-be-ex in the future. Remember it is possible to resolve your differences and end the relationship amicably, which is a positive for everyone involved.
  • Finances are one of the hardest hurdles you will face. Whether you make millions from blockbuster films or have a middle-class income, the subject of maintenance, which was once called alimony, is often one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Maintenance, which does not include child support, requires agreeing on a “fair” amount for one spouse to pay another, and for what time period. This is often a very difficult mountain to climb. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, after 25 years of marriage, are struggling with this very topic. Though Arnold has not contested child support, he has objected to paying spousal support and Maria’s attorney fees. Money can quickly make bitter enemies. While child support is calculated by statute, it is very common for parties to quibble about the factors that go into a calculation. Parenting time and gross monthly income are not as cut and dry as one might think. It is important to find the right attorney, financial advisor, and support system that can help you protect your interests. It is also important to make sure your team will go about handling maintenance in a respectful and civil way that protects all parties to the process.
  • Life will go on, and things will get better. When you are going through a divorce, it can seem like your whole life revolves around it. It can be hard to look beyond the stress and see improvement in the future. But it does come. Look at Jennifer Lopez and Marc Antony, for example. Both seemed visibly shaken by the divorce, after all, celebrities are people, too! However, both have moved on, with Jennifer moving into new high profile ventures and Mark choosing to ramp up his singing career.
  • And then there is Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian. There is little wisdom that we can glean from Kim’s and Kris’ short stint in matrimony, except of course, that having the first months of marriage filmed for a reality show may not be the best idea. However, it’s certainly been good for the tabloid business.

Conclusion

Every day, we see stories about famous couples getting married and getting divorced. Fame and fortune do not make things easier. However, because their lives are so public, perhaps there are a few things we can learn from them to apply to our own experiences and circumstances. We can see the mistakes and pitfalls to which celebrities so often succumb, and hopefully by doing so, we can avoid them ourselves. Most importantly, we can also learn from famous couples who handle a very difficult divorce with dignity and maturity, even when it is the hardest thing to do.

Annulment or Divorce: What’s The Difference?

When speaking with couples who want to legally end their marriages, we sometimes get questions about annulment instead of divorce. Often, people assume that annulments are less expensive, simpler, or less contentious.

Sometimes, people are seeking an annulment instead of divorce for religious purposes, as well. Regardless of the reasons behind seeking an annulment instead of a divorce, Colorado has very specific qualifications for couples seeking annulment.

What’s the difference between an annulment and a divorce?

A divorce puts an end to your marriage legally, so you are no longer recognized as married. On the other hand, an annulment means that your marriage was invalid and never existed. If you are entitled to and receive an annulment, in all records and legal documentation, an annulment makes it so that””for all intents and purposes””your marriage never existed.

So what’s required for an annulment?

Because this is a drastic step””declaring that you were never really married””Colorado’s requirements for annulment are very specific and have to fall within strict timelines. In Colorado, you can only get an annulment if:

  • One party was mentally incapacitated and was not legally able to consent to the marriage. This could be mental illness, or a drug or alcohol addiction. This requirement must be reported within 6 months of discovery.
  • The marriage was not consummated because one party was physically incapable. However, this requirement actually only applies if the other party was unaware of the physical disability when the marriage was initiated. This requirement must be reported within 12 months of discovery.
  • If one party was not yet 18 when married and did not have a guardian’s permission. This requirement must be reported within 24 months and must be reported by the underage party or his/her guardian.
  • The marriage was initiated under false pretenses, such as one party misrepresenting himself or herself, the marriage was forced under duress, and/or occurred under false pretenses.
  • Your spouse was already married. This actually voids the marriage because the marriage was never legal in the first place.
  • The marriage is incestuous.

Legal Steps

Individuals who pursue an annulment instead of a divorce still need to address and resolve nearly all of the same issues as a divorce””particularly as they relate to joint property, maintenance fees, or child custody. The process often takes the same amount of time as a divorce and follows many of the same steps. To apply in the first place, one or the other of you needs to have lived in Colorado for at least 30 days or you must have been married in Colorado, and you will need to apply in the county where you reside.

The initial step in petitioning the Court for a declaration of invalidity is to file a petition, summons and case information sheet, and pay the filing fee in the court that you reside in. You may also need to complete additional forms, such as a sworn financial statement, parenting plan, and separation agreement””similar forms to those filed for a divorce, depending on your individual circumstances. After you file your petition, your spouse will have an opportunity to file a response.

After this response period, you may need to complete additional forms, depending on the specific facts of your case before scheduling and attending your final hearing. At the hearing, the judge or magistrate will grant or deny your annulment, and will also enter other orders that may be necessary to deal with joint property, debts, assets, and children.

Conclusion

While some people think getting an annulment would be simpler or cheaper than getting a divorce, in reality, this is not the case. If you are seeking an annulment, look into it carefully before making that leap. In many cases, you may not meet the requirements to request an annulment and will need to pursue a divorce. Annulments and divorce involve many complicated issues and””while you can pursue them on your own””the advice of an attorney could save you money, time and stress.

How to Adjust Maintenance (Alimony) Obligations

If there is one constant in life, it is that life always changes. Layoffs, retirement, career changes, remarriage, changes with an aging parent, or illness””all of these can have an impact on how you live your life””and how you manage your financial obligations.  For divorced couples and parents, these changes are further complicated because of maintenance or spousal support obligations.

We work frequently with people who need to reduce their maintenance payments.  We also work with people who need to seek an increase in the maintenance they receive.  The need to change these payments stems from job loss, career change, remarriage, caring for an aging parent or the fact that the children from the marriage have gotten older.  Maintenance modifications are as much a fact of life as constant change.

Maintenance Defined

In Colorado, maintenance refers to spousal support which used to be called alimony.  Spousal support or maintenance is usually involved in a case that involves a long-term marriage or a case where one spouse has been able to make significantly more than the other, as in the case of a stay-at-home parent.

Whether or not one is entitled to maintenance initially is governed under §14-10-114 of the Colorado Revised Statutes.  An initial award of maintenance is not always required in a divorce, and a determination of entitlement (amount and duration) is case specific.  When maintenance is awarded or agreed upon as part of a divorce, all terms regarding the amount and duration are specified.

Substantial and Continuing Change

According to §14-10-122 of the Colorado Revised Statutes (C.R.S.), maintenance is modifiable only if there has been a substantial and continuing change.  However, you should be aware that if you and your spouse or former spouse entered into an agreement regarding the payment of maintenance, whether or maintenance is modifiable will be determined solely on the provisions of that agreement, regardless of whether or not there has been a substantial and continuing change.

So, for example, if your agreement specifically states that “maintenance is contractual and non-modifiable” the Court will not have jurisdiction to modify maintenance even if something has changed in your life.  Even if you are not bound by an agreement, the courts may not consider the change in your life to be a “continuing” change and may decline to modify maintenance. From the court’s perspective, some life obstacles are bumps in the road that are only temporary, such as lack of employment, as your finances will (hopefully) revert back to levels similar to when you negotiated you maintenance agreement.

For the court to approve a maintenance modification, you must be able to prove that the change to your financial situation is not only significant but ongoing. While temporary unemployment is not considered ongoing, income loss from a disability often is.

Taking the First Steps

The first step is to determine whether your maintenance can be modified.  In some divorces, the maintenance obligation cannot be modified.  If the maintenance obligation can be changed, you need to determine whether there has been a substantial change that would support a change.

So what should you do if your finances have changed substantially and you can no longer meet your maintenance responsibilities?

  • Collect the right information. When you apply for modification, you will need to complete a current Sworn Financial Statement, just as you did during the divorce process. Some information that will be helpful to you while completing this statement include:
    • Tax returns from the past three years
    • W-2 or 1099s from last year
    • Current paystub
  • Refer back to your original divorce agreements. As mentioned earlier, in some divorces, the couple agrees during the divorce process that all maintenance obligations are unchangeable. One of your very first steps should be to understand what you originally agreed to. You should speak to an attorney for legal advice.
  • If you have already missed payments, pay back as much as possible as soon as possible””even if it is not the full amount. Try to demonstrate to the courts that you are making an effort to catch up on your payments, even while seeking a better maintenance agreement. If you make no payments, you may be considered uncooperative, which may reflect poorly on you during the modification process.
  • Seek legal advice. Some maintenance agreements may not be modified, but in many cases if you can prove that your financial situation has drastically changed, it may be feasible. An attorney will be able to clarify your options. Also, because maintenance is not decided based on a formula, legal representation can help you maneuver the sticky, subjective areas in the law.  The most important thing you can do is to act immediately and not wait.  Modifications can only be applied back to the date that you file with the court requesting a modification of maintenance.  Courts may also look at the length of time that you waited to address the issue as part of determining whether or not the change is substantial.  The longer you wait, the less effective your argument becomes that your life change was substantial.

Conclusion

Changes are going to happen in life, and when those changes affect whether or not you can continue to make your maintenance support payments, it is vital to understand what your rights and responsibilities are and to clarify all options. You will only have an opportunity at being successfully in modifying maintenance if you can prove that your situation has changed drastically and that the change is ongoing””such as being laid off because of an injury or illness or retirement ””so you need to know exactly where you stand.