Making Spirits Bright: Holiday Co-Parenting Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

The holiday season is meant to be filled with warmth, joy, and togetherness—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also bring unique challenges. Balancing family traditions, travel plans, and time with your children while managing emotions can make co-parenting during Christmas feel overwhelming. With a little preparation and a lot of communication, however, you can make the season merry and meaningful for everyone involved.

Here are some practical tips to help keep the peace and make spirits bright this Christmas.

1. Plan Ahead and Stick to the Schedule

One of the best ways to prevent holiday stress is by planning early. Review your parenting plan or custody agreement well before the holidays arrive. Many parenting plans include specific provisions for Christmas and New Year’s schedules—whether that means alternating holidays each year, splitting the day, or dividing winter break evenly.

If your agreement doesn’t specify details, talk with your co-parent as soon as possible to decide who will have the children on which days. Once the plan is set, communicate it clearly with your children so they know what to expect.

2. Be Flexible When Possible

While consistency is important, flexibility goes a long way during the holidays. Weather delays, last-minute changes, or unexpected family events can happen. Try to approach the season with a cooperative mindset—especially if it means your children get to enjoy time with both sides of their family.

If you need to adjust schedules, suggest trade-offs (for example, switching days or offering extra time later). Showing goodwill and adaptability helps foster a positive co-parenting relationship and reduces tension.

3. Focus on Your Children’s Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up in the details—who gets Christmas Eve, who buys what gift, or where the kids will wake up on Christmas morning. But remember, the holidays are about creating joy for your children.

Avoid putting them in the middle of disputes or asking them to choose between parents. Instead, reassure them that both Mom and Dad love them and want them to enjoy the season. When children feel secure and free from conflict, they’re more likely to have a truly happy holiday.

4. Keep Gift-Giving Simple and Cooperative

Gift-giving can be tricky for co-parents. To prevent overlap or competition, communicate about major presents. Agree on a spending limit or divide responsibilities—perhaps one parent handles “Santa gifts” while the other focuses on stocking stuffers or experiences.

Avoid turning gifts into a competition to “outdo” the other parent. The goal is to celebrate the season, not to score points. When both parents work together, it teaches children the true spirit of generosity and cooperation.

5. Create New Traditions

Divorce or separation can mean old family traditions no longer fit—but that doesn’t mean the magic is lost. Take this opportunity to create new traditions with your children. Maybe it’s baking cookies together, volunteering at a local shelter, or having a movie marathon on Christmas Eve.

These new rituals can help your kids associate the holidays with love, stability, and fresh beginnings.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

The holidays can stir up emotions—nostalgia, loneliness, or even guilt. Prioritize self-care so you can be your best self for your children. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family, engage in activities you enjoy, and give yourself permission to rest.

When parents are calm and centered, children feel that stability. You deserve a peaceful holiday, too.

7. Remember the Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to have a “perfect” Christmas—it’s to give your children a sense of love, security, and connection. Whether you celebrate together or apart, your cooperation and kindness will make lasting memories.

Even small acts of understanding can go a long way toward creating a peaceful co-parenting dynamic that benefits your family for years to come.

Final Thoughts

Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to show your children what love and respect look like after separation. By planning ahead, staying flexible, and focusing on what truly matters—your kids’ happiness—you can make this Christmas season peaceful, joyful, and bright for everyone. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.

Who Gets the Kids on Thanksgiving When Going Through a Divorce?

Thanksgiving is a time for family, traditions, and connection—but for parents going through a divorce, the holiday can also bring stress, uncertainty, and emotional conflict. One of the most common questions divorcing or newly separated parents ask is: “Who gets the kids on Thanksgiving?”

Because every family dynamic is different, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. However, the law—and Colorado’s family court system in particular—provides structure, guidance, and options for determining holiday parenting time. Here’s what you need to know if you’re navigating Thanksgiving during a divorce.

What Does Colorado Law Say About Holiday Parenting Time?

In Colorado, parenting time (formerly called “visitation”) depends on what is in the best interests of the child. Holidays—including Thanksgiving—are usually treated separately from regular weekly parenting schedules.

That means even if one parent has the children most weekdays or weekends, the holiday schedule can override the normal parenting plan. Colorado courts strongly encourage parents to work together to create a holiday plan that is fair, child-focused, and as stable as possible.

If parents cannot agree, the courts will step in and assign holiday parenting time based on factors such as:

  • Each parent’s involvement in the children’s lives
  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • Any existing traditions or cultural practices
  • The distance between households
  • The need to minimize conflict and stress for the children
  • Whether either parent poses safety concerns

Because Thanksgiving typically involves travel and large family gatherings, the court aims to ensure the holiday is enjoyable—not chaotic—for the child.

Common Thanksgiving Parenting Time Arrangements

While each family’s plan may look different, several standard arrangements are commonly used during or after a divorce:

A. Alternating Thanksgiving Each Year

This is the most common and court-approved schedule. One parent gets Thanksgiving in even-numbered years, and the other parent gets the holiday in odd-numbered years.

This approach gives each parent the chance to host the holiday traditions every other year.

B. Splitting the Thanksgiving Day

Some parents prefer—or are required—to split the day. For example:

  • Parent A: Thanksgiving morning until 2 p.m.
  • Parent B: 2 p.m. until evening

This works best when parents live close to one another and want their children to participate in celebrations on both sides of the family. While more complicated, it allows children to spend time with everyone on the same day.

C. Alternating the Long Weekend

Since Thanksgiving often comes with a four-day weekend from school, some families alternate the entire weekend instead of just the holiday itself.

For instance:

  • Parent A gets Wednesday through Sunday during even years
  • Parent B gets Wednesday through Sunday during odd years

This option reduces transitions and allows the children to enjoy extended family time, travel, or vacation traditions.

D. Celebrating a “Second Thanksgiving”

Some parents—especially those who want consistency—set up a non-traditional but effective solution: one parent celebrates with the child on Thanksgiving Day, and the other parent celebrates a second Thanksgiving on the following weekend.

This reduces conflict and allows both sides to build their own traditions with less pressure.

What If You Don’t Have a Parenting Plan Yet?

Couples going through a fresh separation or a mid-divorce situation may not have a formal parenting plan in place when the holiday arrives. In these cases, parents often:

  • Create a temporary written agreement
  • Follow past holiday traditions if doing so is in the child’s best interests
  • Seek help from attorneys or mediators to establish a fair plan
  • Request an emergency or temporary allocation of parenting time from the court

If communication is strained, having a neutral third party—like a lawyer, mediator, or parenting coordinator—can prevent unnecessary conflict.

If one parent refuses to cooperate or uses the holiday as leverage, courts can step in. Judges prioritize the child’s stability and emotional well-being over either parent’s preferences or frustrations.

How to Reduce Stress and Conflict Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time

Holidays can stir up resentment, disappointment, and grief during a divorce. But children notice and absorb the tension between parents. To make the day meaningful—and peaceful—consider these best practices:

A. Plan Early

The earlier you discuss Thanksgiving parenting time, the less stressful the holiday becomes. Trying to negotiate plans in the days leading up to Thanksgiving nearly always leads to disputes.

B. Be Flexible When Possible

Life happens. Travel issues, illness, extended family events, and weather can disrupt even the best-made plans. Flexibility helps your child see that both parents prioritize their happiness.

C. Avoid Putting Children in the Middle

Never force children to choose where they want to spend Thanksgiving. These decisions should be made by adults—not kids.

D. Keep Communication Calm and Clear

Use written communication tools like email or co-parenting apps if emotions are too high for direct conversation. Friendly, concise communication helps avoid misunderstandings.

E. Focus on the Child—not the Holiday Itself

Thanksgiving is one day. What matters most is creating a warm, safe, loving experience for your children—whether it happens on Thursday or Saturday.

How Courts Handle Disputes Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time

When parents cannot agree, the court may do several things:

  • Order mediation to help parents resolve the issue
  • Create a temporary holiday schedule based on the child’s needs
  • Modify an existing temporary plan if it interferes with the child’s best interests
  • Issue sanctions if a parent is intentionally withholding the child or violating a court order

Courts take holiday disputes seriously because these conflicts often reflect larger co-parenting issues. If a parent repeatedly blocks holiday parenting time, it can impact future custody decisions.

Tips for Creating a Long-Term Holiday Plan That Works

A strong holiday schedule should:

  • Be predictable and easy to follow
  • Consider the child’s age, developmental needs, and traditions
  • Allow both parents meaningful holiday time
  • Reduce transitions and stress
  • Stay consistent from year to year
  • Be flexible enough to adapt as children grow

Most parenting plans include a detailed holiday schedule covering Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, spring break, winter break, and school vacations.

Having structure helps both parents feel secure—and helps children know what to expect.

Making Thanksgiving Peaceful During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy—and facing your first Thanksgiving while separated can feel overwhelming. But a well-planned, child-centered parenting arrangement can help make the holiday warm and meaningful for your kids, even in a time of transition. Whether you split the day, alternate years, or create entirely new traditions, the goal should be the same: put the children first. With communication, cooperation, and a clear plan, Thanksgiving can remain a holiday filled with gratitude—not conflict. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.

What Types of Law Does Divorce Matters Practice?

Just from our name, it’s easy to tell that we excel in divorce law, but what other kinds of cases can Divorce Matters handle? We are a law firm specializing in family law. Family law covers a wide variety of different cases including:

Adoption

Estate Planning

Divisions of Marital Property

An important part of the divorce process in Colorado is figuring out how to divide marital property. The procedure generally involves two steps. First, it must be determined what marital property is. Second, the marital property must be divided equitably

Spousal Maintenance

In Colorado, neither spouse has an automatic right to maintenance. The court may award maintenance only if it finds that the spouse seeking maintenance lacks sufficient property to meet their reasonable needs and, in addition, is either unable to support themselves through appropriate employment or should not be required to seek employment because of child care responsibilities. Divorce Matters has lots of experience in Spousal Maintenance negotiations and our attorneys are the perfect choice to help you!

Child Custody

When children are involved, the divorce process doesn’t end once the final paperwork is filed. With children come often contentious and painful negotiations about and modification of parental rights, parenting time, and custody. Our team has deep experience dealing with child custody and parental rights issues and we believe it is our duty and an imperative to help couples address custody and rights issues in ways that reduce the impact of divorce and protect children in the process.

Child Support

In Colorado, child support is based on strict guidelines dictated by state laws and statutes. The issue of child support is separate and distinct from the issue of parenting time, and child support payments may not be conditioned upon parenting time. Due to these strict laws, it is important to have guidance from an expert attorney throughout the process.

Post Decree Modifications

Have your circumstances changed since your divorce? Have you lost your job? Has your ex-spouse received a salary increase? Did your ex-spouse fail to disclose financial matters during the dissolution of marriage? Once your divorce is finalized, fortunately, not everything in your original separation agreement or parenting plan is set in stone. Courts recognize that circumstances change, and, sometimes, spouses hide income or assets during the divorce process. Depending on the exact circumstances of your case, you may have a variety of options post-decree. In the following sections, we explore your options in modifying maintenance, child support, parenting time, custody, and decision-making, as well as how you can reopen your property division.

Mediation and Arbitration

Mediation and arbitration are perfect options for anyone going through a divorce. Both options allow the partners to take more control in the divorce, as well as keep the process out of court. Not only does Divorce Matters represent clients through mediation and arbitration, but we also have a mediator on staff!

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence happens to people in all classes, statuses, and ranks in life, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, education, profession, or socioeconomic status. The unfortunate reality is that one in four women in the U.S. will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, resulting in an estimated 1.3 million women becoming victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

Contempt of Court

After having gone through a divorce or once you have some orders from the court, you may at some point find yourself on either end of a contempt of court action if one of the parties is not complying with the orders. If you find yourself on either end of a contempt action, Divorce Matters is here to help!

Unbundled Legal Services

Unbundled legal services are the perfect solution for anyone not ready to jump into full-scale representation. With unbundled services, you can hire an attorney at their hourly rate to help you with specific aspects of your legal troubles, like filing paperwork or gathering documents!

Common-Law Marriage

The state of Colorado allows couples to enter into common law marriage. However, the parameters of common law marriage can be hazy and difficult to understand, just like common law divorce

Appeals

If your case falls under family law, we can help with your appeal!

Prenuptial Agreements

While there are a million things to plan when a couple decides to marry, often the most difficult to discuss with your future partner is the possible need for a prenuptial agreement. While this subject is not the most romantic or exciting part of wedding planning, a couple contemplating marriage in Colorado may need to consider entering into a prenuptial agreement, or a contract before marriage.

Military Divorce

To thank our Military service members, we even offer 10% off of legal fees! This discount is offered to all active and retired service members, veterans, and military spouses.

Thomas Legal Firm

While Divorce Matters only deals in family law, we do have a sister law firm that offers other services. Thomas Law Firm deals with Criminal matters as well as Civil Law matters, including general litigation, civil rights, workers’ compensation, and business defense litigation.

Can My Citizenship Status Affect My Divorce?

Divorce can be a difficult process on its own, but when you have citizenship concerns it can become even more daunting. However, if you arm yourself with knowledge about your situation you can properly prepare yourself for what to expect.

Is there any difference in the divorce proceedings or parental rights hearings if I am not a U.S. citizen or if I have recently become a U.S. citizen?

The short answer is no! The proceedings should continue exactly as they would if there were no citizenship concerns. If you have recently become a citizen, there are no concerns as to the status of your citizenship, because your citizen status cannot be taken away due to your divorce.

Will divorce affect my green card status?

This question has a more complicated answer than the first! To understand how divorce might affect your citizenship status, you first have to understand how the citizenship process works. To become a citizen, you must have a green card. In order to get that green card, through marriage, immigration officials must confirm that your marriage is a “bona fide” marriage. This just means it cannot be a marriage for citizenship. After you get your green card, you have to retain it for a certain amount of time, usually 5 years, to gain your citizenship. However, this time shortens from 5 years to 3 years if you are married to a U.S. citizen. If you do file for divorce before the 3 years is up, you will not have your green card revoked, however you will have to wait the 5-year waiting period for citizenship, as opposed to the 3-year waiting period when you are married to a U.S. citizen. This also holds true if you have been married longer than 3 years, but less than 5 years, and have not yet filed for citizenship. If you have already had your green card for 5 years before you file for divorce, however, the divorce will have no bearing on when or if you can file for citizenship.

If the divorce is contentious and your ex-spouse claims that the marriage was not bona fide, the case can become a little bit more difficult. If you already have citizenship, this will not affect your citizenship. If you still have your green card, you will just have to prove that the marriage is or was bona fide, either by what immigration officials have already proven or by your own evidence, to continue in the citizenship process.

What if I am undocumented? Can I still get a divorce?

If you are undocumented, you can still get a divorce and proceedings will continue as they would for any other divorce case. It is important to note, though, that anything you say in divorce court can also be used against you in immigration court. Because of that, if you are undocumented, it is wise to retain an immigration attorney as well as a divorce attorney in the case that you do want to file for divorce. Being undocumented could also make parenting agreements difficult, especially if you are deported or leave the United States. Again, in this case it is important to retain an immigration attorney, as well as a divorce attorney, to protect your parental rights.

Is There Any Way To Shorten The Mandatory Waiting Period For Divorce?

To answer the question above question, we must first delve into what a mandatory waiting period is. In the state of Colorado, there is a mandatory waiting period of 91 days from the date of joint filing or service on the responding party before a divorce can legally be completed. This waiting period is common in a lot of states and is meant to give people time to consider their situation and whether they want to go through with the divorce. However, this waiting period can also feel frustrating, especially if you already spent a lot of time thinking about your situation before filing or if you feel in danger.

With that being said, there is no way to shorten or avoid this waiting period. It is mandatory for every couple getting divorced in the state of Colorado. However, there are a few things that you can do while waiting for the end of your 91-day waiting period. With the help of an attorney, you can ask the court to issue agreements or court orders during your waiting period. These orders can be helpful if you need specific things from the court. For example, it may be difficult to sell your home before the divorce has gone through, but a court order can help with that.  Additionally, it might be helpful to work on filing all the necessary paperwork during your mandatory waiting period and find common ground with your spouse. Completing both of these tasks will make your divorce process go smoother and quicker once you are able to start proceedings.

The easiest way to deal with the mandatory waiting period is to consult with an attorney to see what they can do for your individual situation. If you have a specific reason for wanting to skip the waiting period, it is important to speak with an attorney. They will be able to tell you what is possible in your particular situation, and if you can work within the waiting period to get what you need. To speak to an attorney today, you can call us at (720)542-6142 or contact us through our website.

How Much Will A Divorce Cost Me?

Contrary to popular belief, divorce does not always have to be expensive. One of the biggest influencing factors in the cost of a divorce is the complexity of your specific case. These complexities come in a few different forms, and each essentially affects how much time needs to be spent on a particular case and therefore how expensive that case will be. Some of these things will be within your control, and others won’t – this is why it is important to reach out and schedule an initial consultation with an attorney. In your initial consultation, our attorneys can go over your specific set of circumstances with you, and they will be able to give you an idea of what your specific case might cost and how to manage those costs.

 

What will affect the cost of my divorce?

 

As mentioned, there are several main determining factors that will affect the total cost of your divorce. Some of these include:

  1. The amount of assets involved
  2. Whether or not you have children
  3. How contentious (think conflict) your case is

These factors all increase the complexity of your case and therefore increase the total cost.

How you can keep the cost down?

 

There are a few ways you can help keep the cost down in your case. The most popular way is to utilize our unbundled legal services, which involves having an attorney help with one specific aspect of your case, such as drafting and reviewing documents for you, offering coaching or legal advice, or communicating with other parties, opposing counsel, and the courts. However, this option is not always a good fit, especially if your case has any of the factors listed above that tend to increase costs. Another way to keep costs down is to work on coming to an amicable agreement with your ex through mediation or arbitration. This will save time and money on going to court and is often easier on your emotional well-being in the end as well.

 

Every case is different, so it important to speak with an attorney to get a better idea of how much your specific situation will cost and what your options might be. Contact Divorce Matters today to set up an initial consultation with one of our many experienced attorneys who can help put you and your family on the path to a successful future after divorce.

Everything You Need To Know About QDRO’s

What is a QDRO?

 

QDRO stands for Qualified Domestic Relations Order. The simplest way to describe it is as a legal document that splits up the funds in an ERISA (Employee Retirement Income Security Act) qualified retirement account. It is filed with the court as a part of a divorce or separation agreement stating that one spouse gets a pre-determined percentage of their ex-spouse’s retirement plan assets. One thing to note, if you choose to split retirement assets without a QDRO, the account holder is still responsible for taxes on the assets transferred. If you have a QDRO, your former spouse is then responsible for taxes once the funds are transferred.

 

Can a QDRO be reversed?

 

If you decide you’ve changed your mind about wanting a QDRO but it has already been received and processed, it is nearly impossible to reverse. The only way to have it changed is if the courts and the administrator agree that the QDRO goes against your divorce agreement and needs to be modified. If there is a misalignment, you might have to go back to your ex-spouse and re-negotiate in order to get the QDRO amended.

 

Do You Need One?

 

It is a good idea for anyone with retirement plan assets going through a divorce or separation to have a QDRO. In many cases, issues related to QDRO’s are overlooked and left unresolved, so it is important to speak with an experienced attorney about your retirement accounts to ensure you have a QDRO in place if necessary and that you’ve cover everything correctly in your divorce agreement.  Not many attorneys draft QDRO’s, but Divorce Matters attorney Ashley Balicki is skilled in drafting QDRO’s specifically. If you would like to speak with Ashley or any of our other experienced attorneys about your situation, contact Divorce Matters today or call us at (720) 542-6142.

Get to Know Our Denver Tech Center Office

About This Office

 

Our Denver Tech Center location is one of our four offices here in Colorado, and also serves as our headquarters. Recently we relocated just up the street into a brand-new, larger office space that can accommodate our growing team and is much easier to navigate to. We love our new space because it allows us to continue growing and expanding while offering a better location for our clients.

 

Who Are We?

 

We are a client-focused practice that understands that divorce, child support, and other family law issues can be extremely stressful and difficult. That’s why we are here to take away some of that stress and difficulty. Every day we uphold our values of integrity, tenacity, compassion, and excellence when assisting and representing our clients. Our firm won’t treat you like just another client or another case. We treat every client with compassion and tailor every legal approach to the specific needs of each of our clients. This ensures that you are set up for a future that you and your family can look forward to.

 

Why Our Denver Tech Center Office?

 

Our Denver Tech Center office is the perfect location for anyone located in Denver and any of the surrounding metropolitan cities such as Aurora, Centennial, Littleton, Castle Rock, Highlands Ranch, and many more. Our other locations are located in Lakewood, Fort Collins, and Colorado Springs, ensuring that we can serve our clients all up and down the Front Range. If none of our offices are convenient to where you live, we are also able to accommodate virtual consultations and meetings, and our attorneys will travel if necessary for our clients.

 

If you would like to set up a consultation with one of our many experienced attorneys at this location or any of our other three locations contact us here or give us a call at (720) 542-6142.

Who Is Divorce Matters?

Divorce Matters is a family law firm consisting of 15 experienced family law attorneys and 25 support staff serving all of Colorado, with offices in the Denver Tech Center, Lakewood, Fort Collins and Colorado Springs. Since our founding ten years ago, we have helped thousands of clients throughout all of Colorado transition to their new future with dignity and compassion.

The core values that we practice are integrity, tenacity, compassion and excellence. All of our employees, from the client relations specialists to the partners, uphold these values every day. Our approach is always a client-focused, humanistic one where we provide guidance and wisdom when you need it most. When you begin the process by calling into our firm, we have a dedicated intake team that listens to your situation and pairs you with the attorney that they believe you will work the best with. Once you’ve had your initial consultation with your attorney and you have decided to become a client, the line of communication is always open, and we will strive to never drop the ball on you and your case.

We truly care about your experience with us and want you to get the most out of your time with Divorce Matters, from start to finish. We know these are difficult times in your life, but we are here to take some of that stress and frustration away. Hiring one of our attorneys to handle your case can benefit you in so many ways, but often the most important immediate impact is that we will make the process less difficult for you by removing stress, anxiety and fear from the equation. Our firm can assist you with a wide array of issues – from big to small, simple to complex – and we take pride in handling every case with tenacity, compassion, integrity and excellence. Our #1 goal is to set you and your family up for a happy, successful future.

If you need our services or would like to set up an initial consultation with one of our attorneys today, please contact us here.

What Is A Durable Power of Attorney? Do I Need One?

What is a durable power of attorney?

A power of attorney is a document that authorizes someone else to handle certain matters on your behalf. These matters can be legal, financial, or medical. An ordinary power of attorney expires if you become mentally incompetent to make any decisions, whereas a durable power of attorney includes specific wording that keeps it effective even in the event of incapacitation. The main purpose of making a power of attorney durable is to plan for medical emergencies or a decline in mental state and have someone appointed to make decisions for you when you cannot. This power of attorney can take effect immediately after signing or can only become effective if you become incapacitated.

Do I need a durable power of attorney?

It is recommended that everyone have a durable power of attorney so in the event something does happen, your named durable power of attorney will have the ability to handle your financial and medical decisions if you cannot. In order to prepare ahead and avoid any difficulties for your loved ones if a situation were to arise, it is best to have a durable power of attorney in place. Most people only think that a power of attorney is needed once you reach retirement or older. However, a power of attorney and other estate planning documents (Link) are beneficial for all adults, no matter your situation, in case of any emergency that might leave you incompetent.

Do I need to update my power of attorney documents if I’m getting a divorce?

Updating your power of attorney documents is important to consider when going through a divorce, or any other life changing event. If you are going through a divorce, you likely wouldn’t want your soon to be ex making medical or financial decisions on your behalf. In this case, it is best to update your powers of attorney to another trusted individual who can best look after your medical and financial interests.

It is always best to talk to an estate planning attorney when creating or updating your estate planning documents to make sure you have the most legally sound plan in place for your best interests. Our attorney Miguel Mondragon is an expert in estate planning law, so if you need these documents crafted or updated please contact us today.