Making Spirits Bright: Holiday Co-Parenting Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

The holiday season is meant to be filled with warmth, joy, and togetherness—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also bring unique challenges. Balancing family traditions, travel plans, and time with your children while managing emotions can make co-parenting during Christmas feel overwhelming. With a little preparation and a lot of communication, however, you can make the season merry and meaningful for everyone involved.

Here are some practical tips to help keep the peace and make spirits bright this Christmas.

1. Plan Ahead and Stick to the Schedule

One of the best ways to prevent holiday stress is by planning early. Review your parenting plan or custody agreement well before the holidays arrive. Many parenting plans include specific provisions for Christmas and New Year’s schedules—whether that means alternating holidays each year, splitting the day, or dividing winter break evenly.

If your agreement doesn’t specify details, talk with your co-parent as soon as possible to decide who will have the children on which days. Once the plan is set, communicate it clearly with your children so they know what to expect.

2. Be Flexible When Possible

While consistency is important, flexibility goes a long way during the holidays. Weather delays, last-minute changes, or unexpected family events can happen. Try to approach the season with a cooperative mindset—especially if it means your children get to enjoy time with both sides of their family.

If you need to adjust schedules, suggest trade-offs (for example, switching days or offering extra time later). Showing goodwill and adaptability helps foster a positive co-parenting relationship and reduces tension.

3. Focus on Your Children’s Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up in the details—who gets Christmas Eve, who buys what gift, or where the kids will wake up on Christmas morning. But remember, the holidays are about creating joy for your children.

Avoid putting them in the middle of disputes or asking them to choose between parents. Instead, reassure them that both Mom and Dad love them and want them to enjoy the season. When children feel secure and free from conflict, they’re more likely to have a truly happy holiday.

4. Keep Gift-Giving Simple and Cooperative

Gift-giving can be tricky for co-parents. To prevent overlap or competition, communicate about major presents. Agree on a spending limit or divide responsibilities—perhaps one parent handles “Santa gifts” while the other focuses on stocking stuffers or experiences.

Avoid turning gifts into a competition to “outdo” the other parent. The goal is to celebrate the season, not to score points. When both parents work together, it teaches children the true spirit of generosity and cooperation.

5. Create New Traditions

Divorce or separation can mean old family traditions no longer fit—but that doesn’t mean the magic is lost. Take this opportunity to create new traditions with your children. Maybe it’s baking cookies together, volunteering at a local shelter, or having a movie marathon on Christmas Eve.

These new rituals can help your kids associate the holidays with love, stability, and fresh beginnings.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

The holidays can stir up emotions—nostalgia, loneliness, or even guilt. Prioritize self-care so you can be your best self for your children. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family, engage in activities you enjoy, and give yourself permission to rest.

When parents are calm and centered, children feel that stability. You deserve a peaceful holiday, too.

7. Remember the Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to have a “perfect” Christmas—it’s to give your children a sense of love, security, and connection. Whether you celebrate together or apart, your cooperation and kindness will make lasting memories.

Even small acts of understanding can go a long way toward creating a peaceful co-parenting dynamic that benefits your family for years to come.

Final Thoughts

Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to show your children what love and respect look like after separation. By planning ahead, staying flexible, and focusing on what truly matters—your kids’ happiness—you can make this Christmas season peaceful, joyful, and bright for everyone. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.

Who Gets the Kids on Thanksgiving When Going Through a Divorce?

Thanksgiving is a time for family, traditions, and connection—but for parents going through a divorce, the holiday can also bring stress, uncertainty, and emotional conflict. One of the most common questions divorcing or newly separated parents ask is: “Who gets the kids on Thanksgiving?”

Because every family dynamic is different, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. However, the law—and Colorado’s family court system in particular—provides structure, guidance, and options for determining holiday parenting time. Here’s what you need to know if you’re navigating Thanksgiving during a divorce.

What Does Colorado Law Say About Holiday Parenting Time?

In Colorado, parenting time (formerly called “visitation”) depends on what is in the best interests of the child. Holidays—including Thanksgiving—are usually treated separately from regular weekly parenting schedules.

That means even if one parent has the children most weekdays or weekends, the holiday schedule can override the normal parenting plan. Colorado courts strongly encourage parents to work together to create a holiday plan that is fair, child-focused, and as stable as possible.

If parents cannot agree, the courts will step in and assign holiday parenting time based on factors such as:

  • Each parent’s involvement in the children’s lives
  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • Any existing traditions or cultural practices
  • The distance between households
  • The need to minimize conflict and stress for the children
  • Whether either parent poses safety concerns

Because Thanksgiving typically involves travel and large family gatherings, the court aims to ensure the holiday is enjoyable—not chaotic—for the child.

Common Thanksgiving Parenting Time Arrangements

While each family’s plan may look different, several standard arrangements are commonly used during or after a divorce:

A. Alternating Thanksgiving Each Year

This is the most common and court-approved schedule. One parent gets Thanksgiving in even-numbered years, and the other parent gets the holiday in odd-numbered years.

This approach gives each parent the chance to host the holiday traditions every other year.

B. Splitting the Thanksgiving Day

Some parents prefer—or are required—to split the day. For example:

  • Parent A: Thanksgiving morning until 2 p.m.
  • Parent B: 2 p.m. until evening

This works best when parents live close to one another and want their children to participate in celebrations on both sides of the family. While more complicated, it allows children to spend time with everyone on the same day.

C. Alternating the Long Weekend

Since Thanksgiving often comes with a four-day weekend from school, some families alternate the entire weekend instead of just the holiday itself.

For instance:

  • Parent A gets Wednesday through Sunday during even years
  • Parent B gets Wednesday through Sunday during odd years

This option reduces transitions and allows the children to enjoy extended family time, travel, or vacation traditions.

D. Celebrating a “Second Thanksgiving”

Some parents—especially those who want consistency—set up a non-traditional but effective solution: one parent celebrates with the child on Thanksgiving Day, and the other parent celebrates a second Thanksgiving on the following weekend.

This reduces conflict and allows both sides to build their own traditions with less pressure.

What If You Don’t Have a Parenting Plan Yet?

Couples going through a fresh separation or a mid-divorce situation may not have a formal parenting plan in place when the holiday arrives. In these cases, parents often:

  • Create a temporary written agreement
  • Follow past holiday traditions if doing so is in the child’s best interests
  • Seek help from attorneys or mediators to establish a fair plan
  • Request an emergency or temporary allocation of parenting time from the court

If communication is strained, having a neutral third party—like a lawyer, mediator, or parenting coordinator—can prevent unnecessary conflict.

If one parent refuses to cooperate or uses the holiday as leverage, courts can step in. Judges prioritize the child’s stability and emotional well-being over either parent’s preferences or frustrations.

How to Reduce Stress and Conflict Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time

Holidays can stir up resentment, disappointment, and grief during a divorce. But children notice and absorb the tension between parents. To make the day meaningful—and peaceful—consider these best practices:

A. Plan Early

The earlier you discuss Thanksgiving parenting time, the less stressful the holiday becomes. Trying to negotiate plans in the days leading up to Thanksgiving nearly always leads to disputes.

B. Be Flexible When Possible

Life happens. Travel issues, illness, extended family events, and weather can disrupt even the best-made plans. Flexibility helps your child see that both parents prioritize their happiness.

C. Avoid Putting Children in the Middle

Never force children to choose where they want to spend Thanksgiving. These decisions should be made by adults—not kids.

D. Keep Communication Calm and Clear

Use written communication tools like email or co-parenting apps if emotions are too high for direct conversation. Friendly, concise communication helps avoid misunderstandings.

E. Focus on the Child—not the Holiday Itself

Thanksgiving is one day. What matters most is creating a warm, safe, loving experience for your children—whether it happens on Thursday or Saturday.

How Courts Handle Disputes Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time

When parents cannot agree, the court may do several things:

  • Order mediation to help parents resolve the issue
  • Create a temporary holiday schedule based on the child’s needs
  • Modify an existing temporary plan if it interferes with the child’s best interests
  • Issue sanctions if a parent is intentionally withholding the child or violating a court order

Courts take holiday disputes seriously because these conflicts often reflect larger co-parenting issues. If a parent repeatedly blocks holiday parenting time, it can impact future custody decisions.

Tips for Creating a Long-Term Holiday Plan That Works

A strong holiday schedule should:

  • Be predictable and easy to follow
  • Consider the child’s age, developmental needs, and traditions
  • Allow both parents meaningful holiday time
  • Reduce transitions and stress
  • Stay consistent from year to year
  • Be flexible enough to adapt as children grow

Most parenting plans include a detailed holiday schedule covering Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, spring break, winter break, and school vacations.

Having structure helps both parents feel secure—and helps children know what to expect.

Making Thanksgiving Peaceful During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy—and facing your first Thanksgiving while separated can feel overwhelming. But a well-planned, child-centered parenting arrangement can help make the holiday warm and meaningful for your kids, even in a time of transition. Whether you split the day, alternate years, or create entirely new traditions, the goal should be the same: put the children first. With communication, cooperation, and a clear plan, Thanksgiving can remain a holiday filled with gratitude—not conflict. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.

Halloween Night and Parenting Time: How to Handle Visitation Conflicts

Halloween is a night filled with costumes, candy, and cherished childhood memories—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also bring a few tricky challenges. When October 31 falls on a weekday, it often overlaps with school nights and regular visitation schedules, leading to confusion or even conflict over who gets to take the kids trick-or-treating.

Balancing child custody and co-parenting during Halloween doesn’t have to turn into a scary situation. With planning, flexibility, and communication, both parents can help ensure their children have a fun, stress-free celebration.

Understanding the Challenge: When Halloween Falls on a Weekday

In many custody arrangements, weekday parenting time might belong to one parent while weekends belong to another. That setup works fine most of the year—but when holidays like Halloween land on a weekday, it can create tension.

For example, if one parent usually has Tuesday or Thursday nights and Halloween falls on one of those days, the other parent might feel left out of the festivities. These conflicts aren’t uncommon, especially since Halloween is more about shared experiences—like trick-or-treating and costume parades—than about gifts or traditional meals.

This is why it’s essential to review your visitation schedule in advance and make adjustments if needed.

Tip #1: Plan Ahead—Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute

The best way to avoid Halloween parenting disputes is to talk early. Check your child custody agreement and the parenting schedule to see which parent technically has the children that evening. Then, discuss how you might share or alternate the celebration.

Some parents choose to:

  • Alternate Halloween each year.
  • Split the day—one parent attends the school party, and the other handles trick-or-treating.
  • Celebrate together, if co-parenting dynamics allow.

When communication happens early, both parents have time to coordinate costumes, transportation, and evening routines without the added pressure of last-minute arguments.

Tip #2: Focus on the Kids’ Experience

It’s easy to get caught up in who gets “the night,” but remember: Halloween should be about your children’s joy, not parental competition. Kids benefit most when both parents support their fun, even from afar.

If you can’t be there in person, ask your child to send photos of their costume or a short video call before they go trick-or-treating. Showing enthusiasm for their excitement helps maintain connection, even if you’re not together that night.

If your co-parent relationship is cooperative, consider joining forces for community events or school festivities. Many children love showing off their costumes to both parents—and this can reinforce a sense of family stability even after separation.

Tip #3: Modify the Parenting Plan if Needed

If Halloween conflicts become a recurring issue, you might consider making a temporary modification to your visitation schedule. Courts and attorneys generally encourage flexibility, especially for minor holidays like Halloween.

Parents can agree in writing to swap days or add make-up time later in the week. For instance, if one parent gets Halloween this year, the other might get the weekend after for a special fall activity like pumpkin carving or a movie night.

It’s also wise to include language in your parenting plan that addresses how holidays like Halloween, Easter, or the Fourth of July will be handled in the future. This helps prevent confusion and ensures your child’s interests come first.

Tip #4: Keep Communication Calm and Respectful

Disagreements happen, but Halloween shouldn’t turn into a courtroom battle. When discussing schedule changes, keep the focus on what benefits the children—not on personal frustrations.

Some helpful strategies include:

  • Using neutral language when texting or emailing.
  • Offering solutions rather than ultimatums.
  • Involving a mediator if you can’t reach an agreement.

If things become too tense, consider reaching out to a family law attorney or mediator who can guide you through resolving parenting disputes peacefully.

Tip #5: Create New Traditions

If you can’t have your child on Halloween night, that doesn’t mean you miss out on the fun. Many families create new traditions to celebrate at a different time.

You might:

  • Host a “Halloween Eve” movie night with spooky snacks.
  • Take your kids to a community “Trunk or Treat” event on another day.
  • Have a costume photo shoot before they head out with the other parent.

These small adjustments ensure you’re still part of your child’s holiday memories, even if the timing isn’t perfect.

Keeping Halloween Fun—No Tricks, Just Treats

At the end of the day, co-parenting during Halloween is about cooperation, not competition. Children thrive when both parents put their happiness and comfort first, no matter who technically has the evening.

By planning ahead, staying flexible, and communicating clearly, you can prevent visitation conflicts from spoiling the fun. With the right approach, Halloween can remain a joyful time of laughter, candy, and connection—no courtroom drama required. If you need help with a custody or visitation matter, contact Divorce Matters today. Our experienced team is ready to help you protect your rights and your child’s best interests.

Navigating Child Custody and Visitation: What Every Parent Should Know

Divorce or separation can be one of the hardest experiences a family goes through—especially when children are involved. Determining child custody and visitation isn’t just about legal paperwork; it’s about creating a plan that supports your child’s stability, happiness, and future.

In Colorado, custody decisions—legally referred to as “parental responsibilities”—focus on the child’s best interests. Understanding how these decisions are made can help parents approach the process with clarity and confidence.

The Two Sides of Custody: Decision-Making and Parenting Time

Colorado law breaks custody into two main components:

  1. Decision-Making Responsibility – Who has the authority to make major decisions about the child’s life, such as education, healthcare, and religion.
  2. Parenting Time (Visitation) – How much time each parent spends with the child, including living arrangements, holidays, and vacations.

Courts often encourage joint custody, where both parents share decision-making and time with the child. However, if joint custody isn’t in the child’s best interests, one parent may receive primary custody, with the other receiving visitation rights.

How the Court Determines Custody

Every custody case is unique. When parents cannot agree on a plan, the court steps in to decide what arrangement serves the child’s best interests. Judges look at several factors, including:

  • Each parent’s emotional bond with the child
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
  • The ability of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
  • The mental and physical health of everyone involved
  • Any evidence of abuse, neglect, or substance abuse

The court’s main goal is to ensure a safe, loving, and consistent environment for the child.

Understanding Visitation Rights

Visitation, also known as parenting time, allows a parent to maintain a meaningful relationship with their child even if they don’t have primary custody. Common arrangements include:

  • Alternating weekends and holidays
  • Midweek or overnight visits
  • Extended summer or vacation time

In some cases, the court may order supervised visitation if there are concerns about a parent’s ability to provide a safe environment. These visits take place in the presence of a neutral third party to protect the child’s well-being.

Creating a Parenting Plan That Works

Colorado encourages parents to work together to create a parenting plan—a written agreement that outlines custody, visitation, communication, and decision-making responsibilities. A well-crafted parenting plan helps reduce conflict and ensures that both parents understand their roles and expectations.

If parents cannot agree, the court may order mediation before making a final decision. Mediation provides an opportunity to discuss issues in a neutral setting and reach an agreement without going to trial.

Modifying Custody or Visitation Orders

Life changes—jobs relocate, children grow older, and family needs evolve. If a major life change affects your current custody arrangement, you can request a modification.

To modify a court order, the requesting parent must show that the change serves the child’s best interests. Common reasons include relocation, remarriage, or significant changes in a parent’s circumstances. Having legal guidance during this process can make it easier to present your case effectively.

Why Legal Help Matters

Even when both parents want what’s best for their child, custody and visitation issues can become complex. A knowledgeable family law attorney can help by:

  • Explaining your rights under Colorado custody law
  • Drafting or reviewing parenting plans
  • Representing you in mediation or court
  • Helping you modify or enforce existing orders
  • Protecting your child’s safety and your parental rights

At Divorce Matters, our attorneys understand the emotional and legal challenges parents face during custody disputes. We provide compassionate guidance and strong advocacy to help you reach a resolution that protects your child and your peace of mind.

Final Thoughts

Child custody and visitation cases are about more than legal decisions—they’re about building a foundation for your child’s future. With the right legal support and a focus on cooperation, parents can create a plan that works for everyone involved.

If you need help with a custody or visitation matter, contact Divorce Matters today. Our experienced team is ready to help you protect your rights and your child’s best interests.

Custody and Deployment: How Military Divorce Impacts Families

Military families face unique challenges that can place an extraordinary strain on marriages. Frequent relocations, long separations, and the stress of deployment can all take a toll on relationships. When divorce becomes unavoidable, service members and their spouses encounter additional legal and emotional hurdles—especially when children are involved.

One of the most complex issues in a military divorce is child custody. Unlike civilian divorces, custody arrangements in military families must account for deployments, frequent moves, and the demands of military service. These factors don’t just affect the parents; they shape the lives of children who must adapt to changing routines and sometimes long absences from one parent.

This blog explores how deployment impacts custody, the legal considerations unique to military divorces, and the ways families can protect their children’s best interests during this difficult time.

The Unique Challenges of Military Divorce

While every divorce is difficult, military divorces bring distinctive complications that influence custody decisions. Some of the most significant challenges include:

1. Deployment and Extended Absences

Unlike civilian parents, military service members may be deployed overseas or stationed away from home for months—or even years—at a time. These absences make traditional custody arrangements difficult. Courts must plan for what happens when a parent cannot physically care for the child due to military duty.

2. Frequent Relocations

Military families often relocate every two to three years. This can disrupt a child’s schooling, social life, and routine. It also complicates custody orders if parents live in different states or even different countries.

3. Jurisdictional Issues

In civilian divorces, custody cases are typically handled by the state where the child resides. But with military families moving frequently, questions about which state has jurisdiction can arise. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) provides guidelines, but applying them in military situations can be complex.

4. Emotional Strain on Families

The uncertainty of deployments and relocations can heighten stress for both parents and children. These pressures often play into custody disputes, as each parent may feel strongly about where and how their children should be raised.

Legal Protections for Military Parents

Recognizing these unique challenges, both federal and state laws provide protections for service members in custody and divorce proceedings.

The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA)

The SCRA offers legal protections to military members so they are not disadvantaged in civil proceedings while serving. For custody disputes, this means:

  • Courts may postpone proceedings if a service member cannot attend due to deployment.
  • Service members have the right to request stays or delays to ensure they can participate in their case.

These provisions help ensure that custody decisions are not made unfairly in a parent’s absence.

State Custody Laws and Deployment Provisions

Many states, including Colorado, have laws that specifically address how deployment impacts custody. Typically, these laws:

  • Prevent courts from permanently altering custody arrangements solely because of deployment.
  • Allow temporary modifications during deployment, with the understanding that custody reverts once the service member returns.
  • Permit service members to delegate parenting time to another family member (such as a grandparent) during deployment.

These protections aim to preserve the parent-child relationship despite the realities of military service.

Custody Arrangements in Military Divorce

When courts evaluate custody in a military divorce, the primary focus remains the best interests of the child. However, the realities of military life influence how custody is structured.

Primary vs. Joint Custody

  • Primary Custody: In many military families, the non-military parent may be awarded primary custody due to the service member’s deployment schedule. This provides stability for the child.
  • Joint Custody: Courts still favor joint custody when possible, but practical considerations—such as the military parent’s availability—play a role in how parenting time is divided.

Temporary Custody During Deployment

When a military parent is deployed, temporary custody arrangements are often put in place. These arrangements may include:

  • Allowing the child to stay with the non-military parent full-time.
  • Granting extended visitation to the non-military parent during deployment.
  • Assigning visitation rights to close relatives of the deployed parent if permitted by law.

Parenting Plans and Flexibility

Military divorces often require customized parenting plans that account for deployment and relocation. These plans may include:

  • Provisions for makeup parenting time when the service member returns.
  • Communication arrangements (video calls, letters, or emails) to maintain the parent-child bond during deployment.
  • Flexibility clauses allowing parents to adjust schedules based on duty changes.

The Emotional Impact on Children

Beyond the legal complexities, custody and deployment profoundly affect children. Divorce itself is disruptive, but combined with the absence of a parent due to military service, the emotional toll can be significant.

Common Challenges for Children

  • Separation Anxiety: Long deployments can cause children to feel abandoned or disconnected from the deployed parent.
  • Adjustment Stress: Relocations may force children to repeatedly change schools and social circles.
  • Emotional Uncertainty: Divorce can create insecurity about where the child belongs and how family relationships will function.

Supporting Children Through the Transition

Parents can take proactive steps to minimize the emotional strain:

  • Maintain consistent routines wherever possible.
  • Encourage open communication about the child’s feelings.
  • Use technology to keep the deployed parent present in the child’s life.
  • Seek counseling or support groups for military families.

When both parents prioritize the child’s well-being over disputes, children are better able to adjust.

Best Practices for Military Families Facing Divorce

Successfully navigating custody and deployment during a military divorce requires careful planning and cooperation. Here are some best practices for families:

1. Develop a Detailed Parenting Plan

Anticipate deployment, relocation, and changes in schedule. The more specific the plan, the fewer disputes arise later.

2. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully

Divorce can heighten emotions, but respectful communication helps parents collaborate on custody arrangements. Keeping the focus on the child’s best interests prevents unnecessary conflict.

3. Prioritize the Child’s Stability

Frequent moves or disruptions can negatively affect children. Courts often consider which parent can provide the most stable environment. Parents should strive to minimize transitions.

4. Stay Informed About Legal Rights

Both service members and civilian spouses should understand their rights under SCRA, state laws, and custody statutes. Consulting an experienced family law attorney ensures these rights are protected.

5. Use Mediation When Possible

Mediation allows parents to create flexible solutions that work for their unique family circumstances. It can reduce conflict, save time, and prevent litigation.

How Attorneys Can Help

Military divorce requires specialized knowledge of both family law and military regulations. An experienced attorney can:

  • Explain how state and federal laws apply to your case.
  • Assist with jurisdictional issues when families live in different states.
  • Help draft parenting plans that accommodate deployment and relocation.
  • Represent your interests in court while ensuring the child’s best interests are prioritized.

Legal guidance is essential to ensure custody decisions are fair and workable for both parents and children.

Conclusion: Protecting Families Through Transition

Divorce is never easy, and military families face added challenges when custody and deployment intersect. Service members dedicate their lives to protecting the country, but they should not lose their parental rights because of their duty. At the same time, children deserve stability, love, and support as their family structure changes.

By understanding the legal protections available, planning for deployment, and prioritizing the best interests of the child, military families can navigate divorce with greater confidence. With the right legal and emotional support, parents can create custody arrangements that honor both their responsibilities to their children and to their country.

Divorce vs. Legal Separation: Which Is Right for You?

When a marriage is no longer working, couples are often faced with a difficult question: should they pursue a divorce or consider a legal separation? While both processes allow spouses to live apart and establish legal arrangements regarding finances, property, and children, the outcomes and long-term implications are very different. Understanding the differences between divorce and legal separation can help you decide which path makes the most sense for your unique situation.

What Is Legal Separation?

A legal separation is a court-approved arrangement where a married couple lives apart but remains legally married. It is more than just moving into separate homes—it involves filing a petition with the court and establishing legally binding agreements on issues such as:

  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support
  • Spousal support (alimony)
  • Division of property and debts

In Colorado, for example, couples must file for legal separation through the court system, much like they would for a divorce. The court issues a decree of legal separation, which formalizes the arrangement.

Why Choose Legal Separation?

For some couples, legal separation is a more suitable option than divorce. Reasons might include:

  1. Religious or Personal Beliefs
     Some faiths strongly discourage or prohibit divorce, making legal separation a way to live independently while respecting those beliefs.
  2. Health Insurance and Benefits
     Remaining legally married can allow one spouse to continue receiving health insurance coverage through the other’s employer or maintain access to certain benefits.
  3. Financial Considerations
     Couples may find that separating legally—while remaining married—allows them to better manage joint financial responsibilities, tax benefits, or retirement benefits.
  4. Uncertainty About Divorce
     For some couples, legal separation provides space and time to determine whether reconciliation is possible, without the finality of divorce.
  5. Residency Requirements
     In certain situations, couples may choose legal separation first if they have not yet met the residency requirements to file for divorce in their state.

What Is Divorce?

Divorce, or dissolution of marriage, is the permanent and legal end of a marriage. Once a divorce is finalized, both parties are legally single and free to remarry. Like legal separation, divorce requires court involvement and addresses issues such as:

  • Division of property and debts
  • Child custody and visitation
  • Child support
  • Spousal support

However, unlike legal separation, divorce is final and comes with legal consequences that cannot easily be reversed.

Why Choose Divorce?

Divorce may be the best option if you are ready to move on completely from the marriage. Reasons couples choose divorce include:

  1. Closure and Independence
     Divorce provides a clean break and allows both spouses to fully move forward with their lives.
  2. Ability to Remarry
     Only divorce allows individuals to remarry. For those who want the option of future relationships or marriages, this is essential.
  3. Financial Independence
     Divorce legally severs financial ties between spouses, which can help avoid conflicts over future debts or obligations.
  4. Finality
     For many, the emotional clarity of divorce outweighs the uncertainty of ongoing legal separation.

Key Differences Between Divorce and Legal Separation

While divorce and legal separation may look similar in terms of process, the differences are critical:

AspectDivorceLegal Separation
Marital StatusLegally singleStill legally married
Ability to RemarryYesNo
Insurance & BenefitsUsually ends spousal benefitsSpousal benefits may continue
Financial SeparationComplete division of property/debtsSimilar division, but marriage remains intact
Emotional ClosurePermanentMay leave door open for reconciliation
Religious/Personal ConsiderationsMay conflict with beliefsAllows separation without violating beliefs

How to Decide Between Divorce and Legal Separation

Deciding whether divorce or legal separation is right for you depends on your goals, values, and circumstances. Consider the following questions:

  • Are you certain your marriage is over?
     If reconciliation is not an option, divorce may be best.
  • Do you want the option to remarry?
     If yes, only divorce will allow that.
  • Are there financial or insurance benefits you want to preserve?
     Legal separation might allow you to maintain access to these.
  • Do religious or personal beliefs make divorce difficult?
     Legal separation could be a respectful alternative.
  • Do you need time and space to decide?
     Legal separation provides a trial period without the permanence of divorce.

Ultimately, your choice should reflect both your emotional well-being and your long-term practical needs.

Legal Process for Divorce and Legal Separation in Colorado

In Colorado, both divorce and legal separation follow a similar process:

  1. Filing a Petition – One spouse files paperwork with the court.
  2. Financial Disclosures – Both parties exchange information about assets, debts, and income.
  3. Negotiation/Mediation – Couples attempt to agree on property division, custody, and support.
  4. Court Hearing – If agreements are reached, a judge reviews and approves them. If not, the court makes final decisions.
  5. Final Decree – The court issues either a decree of dissolution (divorce) or a decree of legal separation.

One important note: In Colorado, couples who are legally separated can later convert their separation into a divorce decree after six months if they choose. This flexibility can be helpful for couples who are unsure about their long-term decision.

Conclusion: Choosing the Right Path

Whether divorce or legal separation is right for you depends on your personal circumstances, financial needs, and long-term goals. Both options involve serious legal and emotional considerations, and making the wrong choice can have lasting consequences. That’s why it’s crucial to seek guidance from experienced family law attorneys who can help you navigate the process and make informed decisions.

At Divorce Matters, we understand how difficult these choices can be. Our compassionate and knowledgeable team has helped countless individuals in Colorado determine the best path forward for their families. Whether you’re considering legal separation, divorce, or simply exploring your options, we are here to guide you every step of the way.

How Do I Get Emergency Child Custody?

Changing a child custody arrangement can be a long and complicated process. But what if there is an emergency and you need custody of your child right away? Luckily, there are specific child custody laws in place for this exact scenario. Before we get into how to get emergency child custody, it is important to know what it is.

Emergency Child Custody

Filing a motion for emergency child custody allows a court to act immediately to suspend all unsupervised parenting time. There are a few restrictions, however. The court can only grant emergency child custody if your child is being put in danger by their other parent. This endangerment can be emotional or physical. Some examples are physical abuse, sexual abuse, excessive drinking or drug use around your child, mental health concerns for the parent, domestic violence, or even neglect. In addition, if your child’s other parent isn’t necessarily the one endangering your child, emergency custody can still be granted. If your child’s other parent has friends or a significant other who endanger your child, this falls under child endangerment on behalf of the parent.

How do I get emergency child custody?

To start the process of getting emergency child custody, you would first have to file a Motion to Restrict Parenting Time with the court. Once you have filed your motion, the court will immediately order that all contact between the parent and child be monitored by a third party. The court will then schedule a hearing in the next 14 days to review the motion. At the hearing, both parents will be allowed to present any evidence they have regarding the endangerment of the child. This can include pictures, emails or texts, and any people who have witnessed the endangerment or lack thereof. The court will then make a ruling on the motion. The judge will either deny the motion, continue the restrictions put in place when the motion was filed, or change the restrictions to be less strict or stricter.

It is important to note that there are penalties for wrongful accusations, including, but not limited to, paying legal fees for the other side. It is vital that you do not file a motion like this out of spite. To avoid this, it is helpful to consult an attorney to make sure that what you are claiming is substantiated. A Divorce Matters attorney can also help you navigate the entire process with ease and expertise.

What Types of Law Does Divorce Matters Practice?

Just from our name, it’s easy to tell that we excel in divorce law, but what other kinds of cases can Divorce Matters handle? We are a law firm specializing in family law. Family law covers a wide variety of different cases including:

Adoption

Estate Planning

Divisions of Marital Property

An important part of the divorce process in Colorado is figuring out how to divide marital property. The procedure generally involves two steps. First, it must be determined what marital property is. Second, the marital property must be divided equitably

Spousal Maintenance

In Colorado, neither spouse has an automatic right to maintenance. The court may award maintenance only if it finds that the spouse seeking maintenance lacks sufficient property to meet their reasonable needs and, in addition, is either unable to support themselves through appropriate employment or should not be required to seek employment because of child care responsibilities. Divorce Matters has lots of experience in Spousal Maintenance negotiations and our attorneys are the perfect choice to help you!

Child Custody

When children are involved, the divorce process doesn’t end once the final paperwork is filed. With children come often contentious and painful negotiations about and modification of parental rights, parenting time, and custody. Our team has deep experience dealing with child custody and parental rights issues and we believe it is our duty and an imperative to help couples address custody and rights issues in ways that reduce the impact of divorce and protect children in the process.

Child Support

In Colorado, child support is based on strict guidelines dictated by state laws and statutes. The issue of child support is separate and distinct from the issue of parenting time, and child support payments may not be conditioned upon parenting time. Due to these strict laws, it is important to have guidance from an expert attorney throughout the process.

Post Decree Modifications

Have your circumstances changed since your divorce? Have you lost your job? Has your ex-spouse received a salary increase? Did your ex-spouse fail to disclose financial matters during the dissolution of marriage? Once your divorce is finalized, fortunately, not everything in your original separation agreement or parenting plan is set in stone. Courts recognize that circumstances change, and, sometimes, spouses hide income or assets during the divorce process. Depending on the exact circumstances of your case, you may have a variety of options post-decree. In the following sections, we explore your options in modifying maintenance, child support, parenting time, custody, and decision-making, as well as how you can reopen your property division.

Mediation and Arbitration

Mediation and arbitration are perfect options for anyone going through a divorce. Both options allow the partners to take more control in the divorce, as well as keep the process out of court. Not only does Divorce Matters represent clients through mediation and arbitration, but we also have a mediator on staff!

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence happens to people in all classes, statuses, and ranks in life, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, education, profession, or socioeconomic status. The unfortunate reality is that one in four women in the U.S. will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, resulting in an estimated 1.3 million women becoming victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.

Contempt of Court

After having gone through a divorce or once you have some orders from the court, you may at some point find yourself on either end of a contempt of court action if one of the parties is not complying with the orders. If you find yourself on either end of a contempt action, Divorce Matters is here to help!

Unbundled Legal Services

Unbundled legal services are the perfect solution for anyone not ready to jump into full-scale representation. With unbundled services, you can hire an attorney at their hourly rate to help you with specific aspects of your legal troubles, like filing paperwork or gathering documents!

Common-Law Marriage

The state of Colorado allows couples to enter into common law marriage. However, the parameters of common law marriage can be hazy and difficult to understand, just like common law divorce

Appeals

If your case falls under family law, we can help with your appeal!

Prenuptial Agreements

While there are a million things to plan when a couple decides to marry, often the most difficult to discuss with your future partner is the possible need for a prenuptial agreement. While this subject is not the most romantic or exciting part of wedding planning, a couple contemplating marriage in Colorado may need to consider entering into a prenuptial agreement, or a contract before marriage.

Military Divorce

To thank our Military service members, we even offer 10% off of legal fees! This discount is offered to all active and retired service members, veterans, and military spouses.

Thomas Legal Firm

While Divorce Matters only deals in family law, we do have a sister law firm that offers other services. Thomas Law Firm deals with Criminal matters as well as Civil Law matters, including general litigation, civil rights, workers’ compensation, and business defense litigation.

Are Same-Sex Divorces Handled the Same As Heterosexual Divorces?

With tides having turned in the struggle for LGBTQ+ marriage rights over the last decade, often questions about whether there are any differences when it comes to marriage for same-sex couples arise. Are these marriages the same as heterosexual marriages? And what about the divorces?

How is same-sex divorce different from a divorce between a heterosexual couple?

Because same-sex marriage is legal in Colorado there is virtually no difference between same-sex divorce and heterosexual divorce. This means that you can either be a petitioner and respondent or petitioner and co-petitioner. After that, the divorce will proceed as a heterosexual divorce would.

How will child support and custody factor into a same-sex divorce?

Because many same-sex couples have children, this is a question that is often at the forefront of the couples’ minds. However, the court will proceed as they would for any divorce. Regardless of whether or not the child is biologically yours, or adopted by one or both parents, the court will determine parenting time based on the best interests of the child. If both parents are adoptive parents, they are both treated as if they are legal parents to the children. This is the same if one party is the biological parent and one party is an adoptive parent.

Additionally, child support will be calculated using the same calculation as in any other child support situation. If you’re curious what child support might look like in your particular set of circumstances, check out our calculator.

If you are interested in common law marriage divorce or divorce for LGBTQIA+ couples, you can learn more here. You can also find more materials discussing same-sex marriage on our website.

What if I Believe My Spouse is Unfit to Take Care of Our Children?

If you believe that your spouse (or former spouse) is unfit to care for your children, there are a few possible routes to take. The route that you take will depend on the urgency and severity of the situation. If the situation does not require immediate attention, you can file a “Motion for Modification of Parenting Time”. If the situation is more urgent and needs to be remedied immediately, you can file a “Motion to Restrict Parenting Time” or you can call Child Protective Services (CPS). You can learn more about each of these options below.

Motion for Modification of Parenting Time

There are a few different routes to take depending on the severity of the situation. If your concerns do not require immediate attention, you can file a “Motion for Modification of Parenting Time” as discussed above. This motion may be filed every two years or as often as necessary, as long as you can prove that circumstances have changed. The change in circumstances could be a variety of things, including, but not limited to, moving, use of drugs or illegal substances, or the creation of an unsafe situation for children. In proving this change of circumstances, it may be helpful to hire a third-party investigator, called a Child and Family Investigator or Parental Responsibilities Evaluator. To be clear, this is not an immediate solution and will take a minimum of 3 months to complete. Following a minimum of 3 months, the court may deny the modification and elect to keep the parenting plan consistent or modify the plan in line with the requested modification or in any way the court sees fit to modify the parenting time agreement.

Motion to Restrict Parenting Time

If your situation is more urgent, there are two roads that will lead to a quicker resolution from the court. One of these options is to file a “Motion to Restrict Parenting Time”. This motion must include the reasons that you believe the children will be endangered, either physically or emotionally, by remaining in the care of the opposing parent. The court is required to set a hearing date within 14 days of filing this motion, making it significantly quicker than filing a “Motion for Modification of Parenting Time”. When the date of the hearing comes around, you should make sure to bring any evidence you have that your children are not safe with the opposing parent. It is important that this evidence is not just what your children have told you, as this can be considered “hearsay” and may not be admissible evidence. If the court finds that you are correct and the other parent is physically or emotionally endangering the child, there may be steps or restrictions put into place that the opposing parent must go through if they want to regain any parenting time. For example, if the opposing parent has been using drugs, the court may order a rehabilitation program before they are allowed to regain any parenting time. The court can also restrict or reduce the opposing parent’s parenting time. It is important to remember that this is a very serious claim and should not be filed without base. If this motion is found to be baseless or vengeful, the court may require you to pay the opposing parent’s attorney fees.

Child Protective Services

The second option for a more urgent case is contacting Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS is a government agency that investigates claims of child abuse or neglect. This is the most serious action and will result in the most immediate response. Before getting more into this process, it is important to note that calling CPS on the opposing parent will also invite CPS to investigate you. The organization is meant to make decisions in the best interest of the child and they cannot do this without investigating every aspect of your children’s lives.  This investigation will include interviewing both parents, various witnesses, and the children themselves. CPS will generally make findings of the best situation for the children without initiating action through the court. In more severe cases, however, CPS will initiate action through the courts called a “Dependency and Neglect Action”. This may result in the child being removed from the unsafe environment, supervised visitation, reintegration therapy, substance abuse monitoring, or any action that the court feels is appropriate to the situation.