Thanksgiving is a time for family, traditions, and connection—but for parents going through a divorce, the holiday can also bring stress, uncertainty, and emotional conflict. One of the most common questions divorcing or newly separated parents ask is: “Who gets the kids on Thanksgiving?”
Because every family dynamic is different, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. However, the law—and Colorado’s family court system in particular—provides structure, guidance, and options for determining holiday parenting time. Here’s what you need to know if you’re navigating Thanksgiving during a divorce.
What Does Colorado Law Say About Holiday Parenting Time?
In Colorado, parenting time (formerly called “visitation”) depends on what is in the best interests of the child. Holidays—including Thanksgiving—are usually treated separately from regular weekly parenting schedules.
That means even if one parent has the children most weekdays or weekends, the holiday schedule can override the normal parenting plan. Colorado courts strongly encourage parents to work together to create a holiday plan that is fair, child-focused, and as stable as possible.
If parents cannot agree, the courts will step in and assign holiday parenting time based on factors such as:
- Each parent’s involvement in the children’s lives
- The child’s relationship with each parent
- Any existing traditions or cultural practices
- The distance between households
- The need to minimize conflict and stress for the children
- Whether either parent poses safety concerns
Because Thanksgiving typically involves travel and large family gatherings, the court aims to ensure the holiday is enjoyable—not chaotic—for the child.
Common Thanksgiving Parenting Time Arrangements
While each family’s plan may look different, several standard arrangements are commonly used during or after a divorce:
A. Alternating Thanksgiving Each Year
This is the most common and court-approved schedule. One parent gets Thanksgiving in even-numbered years, and the other parent gets the holiday in odd-numbered years.
This approach gives each parent the chance to host the holiday traditions every other year.
B. Splitting the Thanksgiving Day
Some parents prefer—or are required—to split the day. For example:
- Parent A: Thanksgiving morning until 2 p.m.
- Parent B: 2 p.m. until evening
This works best when parents live close to one another and want their children to participate in celebrations on both sides of the family. While more complicated, it allows children to spend time with everyone on the same day.
C. Alternating the Long Weekend
Since Thanksgiving often comes with a four-day weekend from school, some families alternate the entire weekend instead of just the holiday itself.
For instance:
- Parent A gets Wednesday through Sunday during even years
- Parent B gets Wednesday through Sunday during odd years
This option reduces transitions and allows the children to enjoy extended family time, travel, or vacation traditions.
D. Celebrating a “Second Thanksgiving”
Some parents—especially those who want consistency—set up a non-traditional but effective solution: one parent celebrates with the child on Thanksgiving Day, and the other parent celebrates a second Thanksgiving on the following weekend.
This reduces conflict and allows both sides to build their own traditions with less pressure.
What If You Don’t Have a Parenting Plan Yet?
Couples going through a fresh separation or a mid-divorce situation may not have a formal parenting plan in place when the holiday arrives. In these cases, parents often:
- Create a temporary written agreement
- Follow past holiday traditions if doing so is in the child’s best interests
- Seek help from attorneys or mediators to establish a fair plan
- Request an emergency or temporary allocation of parenting time from the court
If communication is strained, having a neutral third party—like a lawyer, mediator, or parenting coordinator—can prevent unnecessary conflict.
If one parent refuses to cooperate or uses the holiday as leverage, courts can step in. Judges prioritize the child’s stability and emotional well-being over either parent’s preferences or frustrations.
How to Reduce Stress and Conflict Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time
Holidays can stir up resentment, disappointment, and grief during a divorce. But children notice and absorb the tension between parents. To make the day meaningful—and peaceful—consider these best practices:
A. Plan Early
The earlier you discuss Thanksgiving parenting time, the less stressful the holiday becomes. Trying to negotiate plans in the days leading up to Thanksgiving nearly always leads to disputes.
B. Be Flexible When Possible
Life happens. Travel issues, illness, extended family events, and weather can disrupt even the best-made plans. Flexibility helps your child see that both parents prioritize their happiness.
C. Avoid Putting Children in the Middle
Never force children to choose where they want to spend Thanksgiving. These decisions should be made by adults—not kids.
D. Keep Communication Calm and Clear
Use written communication tools like email or co-parenting apps if emotions are too high for direct conversation. Friendly, concise communication helps avoid misunderstandings.
E. Focus on the Child—not the Holiday Itself
Thanksgiving is one day. What matters most is creating a warm, safe, loving experience for your children—whether it happens on Thursday or Saturday.
How Courts Handle Disputes Over Thanksgiving Parenting Time
When parents cannot agree, the court may do several things:
- Order mediation to help parents resolve the issue
- Create a temporary holiday schedule based on the child’s needs
- Modify an existing temporary plan if it interferes with the child’s best interests
- Issue sanctions if a parent is intentionally withholding the child or violating a court order
Courts take holiday disputes seriously because these conflicts often reflect larger co-parenting issues. If a parent repeatedly blocks holiday parenting time, it can impact future custody decisions.
Tips for Creating a Long-Term Holiday Plan That Works
A strong holiday schedule should:
- Be predictable and easy to follow
- Consider the child’s age, developmental needs, and traditions
- Allow both parents meaningful holiday time
- Reduce transitions and stress
- Stay consistent from year to year
- Be flexible enough to adapt as children grow
Most parenting plans include a detailed holiday schedule covering Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, spring break, winter break, and school vacations.
Having structure helps both parents feel secure—and helps children know what to expect.
Making Thanksgiving Peaceful During a Divorce
Going through a divorce is never easy—and facing your first Thanksgiving while separated can feel overwhelming. But a well-planned, child-centered parenting arrangement can help make the holiday warm and meaningful for your kids, even in a time of transition. Whether you split the day, alternate years, or create entirely new traditions, the goal should be the same: put the children first. With communication, cooperation, and a clear plan, Thanksgiving can remain a holiday filled with gratitude—not conflict. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.
