Grandparents and Child Custody

Certain circumstances may cause a parent to be unable or unwilling to take proper care of his or her children. When this happens, grandparents often step forward to provide the care and support their grandchildren need. However, grandparents that desire full or partial legal custody of their grandchildren may find themselves fighting an uphill battle.

Natural parents have fundamental rights to be with their children. In order to infringe on a parent’s rights to his or her children, a grandparent must present a compelling argument to support his or her request for custody. Grandparents must have “clear and convincing” evidence that parental custody is not in the best interest of the child.

Can Grandparents Get Child Custody in a Denver Divorce?

There are only a few circumstances in which a grandparent may be given physical and/or legal custody of his or her grandchildren. If a custody case for the child has been filed, grandparents and other third parties are allowed to throw their proverbial hats into the ring. Grandparents may be able to obtain temporary custody of their grandchildren if the parents’ divorce is particularly hostile or volatile. Other situations when a grandparent may request custody of a grandchild include:

  • If a child has been removed from his parents’ home and placed in foster care, grandparents are given priority preference to take physical care of the child, if they are able and willing to do so. (If parents are unmarried or divorced, the child’s other parent has preferential status.)
  • If the grandparent has provided primary care and physical residence for the grandchild for at least six months, the grandparent may request legal responsibility of the child.
  • If the child lived with the grandparent(s) for at least six months, and has been out of their care for no more than six months, the grandparents can ask the court for legal responsibility of the child.
  • If the child is currently in the physical care of someone that is not the child’s parent.

Unlike parents, grandparents have no automatic custody or visitation rights. They must demonstrate to the court that granting these rights would be in the best interest of the child. To determine what is in the child’s best interest, the judge will consider the physical and emotional health, environmental stability, and child’s relationship with each interested party, as well as any reports of child abuse or neglect.

Grandparent Visitation and Colorado Grandparent Custody Laws

If the court finds granting custody to the child’s grandparents is inappropriate, the judge may still decide to grant visitation rights. In Colorado, a grandparent may be allowed legal visitation rights if:

  • the child’s parents are granted a divorce, annulment, or legal separation;
  • legal custody of the child is granted to someone other than his or her parents; or
  • the child’s parent is deceased.

As always, visitation and custody rights are only granted if they are in the best interest of the child.

Call a Denver Grandparent Custody Lawyer

Divorce Matters is a full-service family law firm with locations in Greenwood Village and Lakewood. Contact us to request a consultation.

Who Gets the Kids for Christmas?

Christmas is often described as a magical time of year, but for divorced parents, the holidays are nothing but stress. Having to share custody of the kids and possibly spend Christmas alone is nobody’s idea of fun. However, many parents are able to work through it and come up with workable custody schedules to ensure that children get to see both parents while on winter break.

”˜Tis the season for compromise. But what if you and the other parent cannot agree on a custody schedule? You may need to discuss the situation with your lawyer and get the courts involved. The courts, however, prefer that parents work it out on their own. When the court has to make the decision, both parents end up losing.

Christmas is a time where kids are off school and parents have time off work. So how can you determine child custody during Christmas in a fair way so you both get time with your children? Here are some ideas.

Split the Days

Christmas encompasses two days: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Since both parents tend to want to celebrate Christmas with the kids, each parent can choose day. One parent can have the kids on Christmas Eve until the evening (say 8 p.m. or 9 p.m.) and then the kids can spend Christmas Day with the other parent. This only works, however, if the parents live close to each other.

One Week at a Time

If you and the other parent live a great distance from each other, you may want to consider having a week with the kids. Kids tend to have two weeks off school during this time, so you can get the first or second week and the other parent can have the other. You can still break it up at Christmas Eve, though, so both parents can see the kids on Christmas.

What to Keep in Mind

Don’t argue with the other parent about every holiday. Think about the holidays that are most important to you and develop a custody schedule from there. You may have to compromise or create new traditions, and that’s OK. Life for you and the children will change to some degree after a divorce.

Also, plan your Christmastime custody schedule well in advance. Don’t tell the kids the day before Christmas what will be happening. You and the other parent should have the schedule nailed down by November. Confirm the schedule via email or phone and print out a hard copy. You may want to give a copy to your lawyer for legal purposes.

Contact a Denver Child Custody Lawyer Today

Child custody matters can be complicated, especially during the holidays. While both parents want to spend Christmas with their children, you might not always get your way. Compromises will need to be made. If you require assistance creating a holiday parenting plan, contact the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We will help you get a favorable outcome. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Surviving Divorce During the Holidays

There is never an easy time to end a marriage, but going through a divorce during the holidays can be particularly challenging. Dealing with loneliness, custody battles, and nosey extended family members is enough to turn anyone into a Grinch. While there is nothing fun about getting divorced this time of year, it doesn’t have to ruin your holiday. Here are some tips to help you make it through the new year stronger and better than ever.

Loneliness During the Holidays

Being suddenly alone during the season of togetherness can be hard. It is normal to feel sad, angry, nostalgic, or any mix of indescribable emotions. If you find yourself in this unfortunate boat this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Let yourself be sad, but do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity.

To combat loneliness in a healthy way, invest your time in strengthening relationships with family and friends, cultivating a hobby, or learning a new skill. Start a new tradition or check something off your holiday bucket list. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overindulgence in alcohol. Finally, do not be afraid to reach out to a friend or professional therapist if you need to talk.

Holiday Custody Issues

If you are newly separated or divorced, this season may mark the first holiday you spend away from your children. Some families decide to split the holiday in order to give each parent time with their children. Whatever your custody arrangement is this year, remember to be flexible. If you compromise to accommodate your former spouse’s Christmas schedule this time, your ex may be more willing to extend the same grace to you on the next big holiday.

For those who are already successfully co-parenting, consider celebrating the holiday together with your children. This allows a child to maximize the time she can spend with both her parents. If you are not ready or willing to spend Christmas in the same house as your ex, it’s okay (few recently divorced spouses are). In time, you and your former spouse may be able to set differences aside to share the occasional family dinner with your children.

Family Matters During Divorce

If this is your first Christmas since the separation or divorce, your children may face a difficult time adjusting to the changes. Let them know it is normal to be sad or disappointed that the holidays are different this year. To ease their transition, keep their favorite holiday traditions alive, and introduce a couple new ones as well.

Recently separated or divorced couples should also be prepared to field awkward questions from extended family members and acquaintances during holiday get-togethers. Whether your distant relatives are well-meaning or simply nosey, a conversation can quickly take a dark turn when you are newly divorced. If you anticipate the third degree from your great aunts when you show up to the Christmas party sans husband, try to plan your answers in advance. Practice delivering a brief “statement” that explains your new life situation without rehashing all the ugly details.

Divorce and the Holidays

For assistance with divorce, custody, or other family law issues, contact the Denver divorce lawyers at Divorce Matters. We are eager to assist you today.

How To Give Your Child Emotional Support Through Divorce

Different colored hands with hearts on the palm

If you are facing divorce or perhaps already going through it, then you know that no matter what happens it will be something that affects your children. This is perfectly normal and there is a natural grieving process that they will go through as they deal with their emotions around your separation. There are ways you can help make sure that your children have the support they need during this time.

The first is to make sure that they know you are there if they need to talk about it. The urge to keep it hush-hush can be strong if you feel like avoiding the topic would be less painful for them. However, letting them know you are available to talk to about it without forcing them to gives them the space they need to process their emotions and feel safe enough to approach you if they have questions or need to share something.

One of the best things you can do for your kids is to try and work out an amicable and conflict free co-parenting plan. Of course, this isn’t always an option depending on the individual situation but if you can work to settle your differences with your ex-spouse for the sake of your kids it will go a really long way in helping them deal with their emotions about the divorce.

Finally, don’t be afraid to get yourself and/or your child professional help if either of you find that you continue to struggle with the divorce in a manner that seems unhealthy. Talking to a counselor or therapist is a great way to learn the tools needed to cope with the stress associated with divorce.

Enjoying Time With Your Children On A Single Parent’s Budget

Jack Duggan

After divorce money can be tight on a single parent’s budget, but you know how important it is that you still spend time participating in activities with your children. You just don’t have to break the bank to do it! There are plenty of fun ways to spend time with your little ones without spending a ton.

One of those ways is to take your kids out on a hike. Plan your route ahead of time based on their experience and how far they can go and then spend the time on your hike pointing out wildlife and spending quality time catching up with them. If you are feeling particularly adventurous you might even bring a tent along and spend an evening with them around the campfire.

Another great way to spend time with your kiddos is to have a movie night in! Grab a couple of age-appropriate classics and settle in with some popcorn and candy. You could even set up a fun fort with them ahead of time for them to watch the movie from.

Perhaps your kids are old enough to begin teaching them how to cook. This is a great time to start showing them the basics of nutrition and the importance of home-cooked meals. Talk them through the recipes and cooking processes as you go and eventually have them start doing it. Soon enough they will know how to cook for themselves in a safe and nutritious manner.

There are always great ways to spend time together with your children enjoying new experiences, don’t be afraid to get out there and find them!

If you are looking to find out more about what your maintenance or child support might look like when going through a divorce so you can better plan for your financial future, Divorce Matters offers a free app that can help. Visit us at www.divorce-matters.com/apps and visit either the Google Play or iTunes stores to download our free Child Support and Maintenance Calculator App.

Parenting Mistakes To Avoid When Going Through Divorce

Emily Ahnell - Partner and Managing Attorney

Divorce can be difficult on your family but it is extremely important not to find yourself hurting your children in the process. They are most important to protect during this time of transition and there are a few things to remind yourself of every time you are interacting with them.

First, make sure you understand the terms of your custody agreement. If you want to make changes be sure to go through the proper channels to make those changes. If you feel like your custody agreement isn’t being honored or you’d like to make changes, contact your divorce attorney for more information.

Second, don’t try and force them to take sides between you and your ex, no matter what your situation is. They are too young to be handling anything of this emotional magnitude and as their parent it is your place to protect them from this strife as much as possible. To them, they still have two parents and might want to keep it that way no matter what you want. Allow them the space to express what they want without trying to influence them.

Another very important piece of advice to follow, do not bad mouth your ex-partner in front of your children. Not only can this be psychologically damaging to them, but it can also cause rifts between you and them or your spouse and them. This action can come back to hurt you in future custody proceedings.

Finally, try to not let the stress of the divorce and its toll on you affect your relationship with your children. As difficult as it may be right now, protecting your relationship with your children is paramount and your children can be a source of comfort and love.

Balance Is Important: Why Overnights Are So Important For Young Children

When the courts come up with child custody arrangements, they determine the plan based on what is in the best interest of the children. Often, the courts will try to make sure that each parent has adequate overnight visits with the children. It may seem like a no-brainer that children should be able to spend time with both parents, but what arrangement is best? A new study suggests that splitting time as evenly as possible between parents is the best way for children to build and maintain both relationships.

The study, published February 2 in the journal Psychology, Public Policy and Law, suggested that adult children who went on the have the best relationships with their parents were those who spent equal time between their parents’ homes as young children.

Previous research on couples showed that a child who spends too much time with the father early in life would suffer damaged bonds with the mother. The new study suggested otherwise: not only did overnight parenting with the father cause no harm to the mother-child relationship, commonly thought of as the most important relationship for young children, it actually appeared to strengthen both relationships.

Overnight Time with Both Parents Is the Key to Better Future Relationships

The study looked at 100 college students whose parents separated before the students turned three years old. The students rated their relationships with their parents and the findings showed that the time spent with the child at age two was highly important. If a child spent less time at one parent’s house, the parents were typically unable to compensate later with more overnight time. As a result, the child’s future relationship with that parent would suffer. The study concluded that an even, or close to even, split provided benefits for all three parties, not just the custodial parent and the child.

Why? The researchers have a theory. For fathers, being alone with the child helped them to learn how to parent the child from the beginning. This led to a better foundation for their future relationship. For mothers, letting the child spend time away gave them a break from the stresses of being a single mother, which made mothers more prepared to raise the children when they had custody.

Having issues with a parenting time arrangement for your children? Our Denver family law firm is well-equipped to handle all matters of child custody, including enforcement and modification.

Angelina Jolie Spends Holidays In Colorado With Kids As Custody Battle Continues

Amidst her custody battle with ex-husband Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie has made a holiday visit to Colorado. She, along with her six kids, arrived shortly after Christmas and celebrated New Year’s Eve with some toy shopping.

Pitt and Jolie’s custody battle has loomed large since November, when Jolie’s legal representatives claimed that a custody agreement had been reached allowing her to retain custody of all six children. Pitt’s camp argues that no formal, permanent custody agreement has yet been reached. Pitt filed for joint and physical custody of his children in November.

Pitt continues to have supervised visits with his children. He was able to visit the kids during Christmas and bring them gifts.

Who Gets The Kids? Colorado Custody Battles

In Colorado, decisions regarding child custody are determined based on the best interests of the child. This means that the judge will looks at many different factors to determine a parenting time arrangement, including:

  • The parents’ wishes
  • The child’s wishes
  • The relationships between child and each parent
  • The child’s opportunity to adapt to a new living or education situation
  • The physical and mental health of the parties involved (although disability cannot be used as a sole determining factor in child custody)
  • The capability of the parents to put the needs of the child above their own

Child custody arrangements do not have to be permanent. The courts understand that circumstances change. Perhaps one parent loses his or her job, or one has to move to another country for work. There are any number of things that can go wrong that make a custody arrangement unfair or unenforceable. In those situations, the parents can ask the court for a child custody modification, which will also be based on the best interests of the child.

Our Denver family lawyers are ready to assist you in matters of child custody.

Ready For Mediation? Tips For Mothers Mediating Child Custody Disputes

Divorce is a stressful process that becomes significantly more so if you have kids. No parent wants to be away from their child for any longer than they have to, but when divorce happens, there’s really no avoiding the problem of custody. But there are ways to help alleviate that problem; one of those is through child custody mediation.

The point of mediation is to have both parents work out mutually beneficial custody arrangements and parenting time schedules that are in the best interests of the children. Mediation is almost always required in child custody disputes in court, but can also be entered into voluntarily before a case is ever filed. Mediation is one of the best ways to come up with a plan that works for you, your spouse and most importantly, the little ones. After all, why endure the stress of fighting it out in court only to have a judge impose a schedule upon the parents and children, when you can do it yourselves, save money and end up with a schedule that is actually workable for everyone involved?

However, if parents are prone to arguing, or if one parent has a more dominant personality, mediation can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect. But don’t let fear of the unknown drive you away from mediation; even in contentious custody battles, mediation has a lot of benefits and can help reduce or relieve the stresses of fighting for your kids. Here are some tips to help you get ready for custody mediation:

  • Choose a mediator who is a reputable family law attorney that has been doing mediation for at least a few years. There is no license to be a mediator, so anyone can put themselves out there as one. Always check qualifications, such as asking if the mediator has taken a 40 hour mediation course, and make sure they are family law mediators who have dealt with parent and child issues before. An experienced family law mediator can be effective and convincing about the reality of the situation if the other parent is being unreasonable.

  • Preparation Is Key

    Whether you have a lawyer or are going on your own, come with your schedule and calendar that you need for your and the other parent’s work schedule. Know the dates that school starts, when holidays are, when spring, summer and winter break are and what you would like to do during those times (want to visit grandparents? Teach your kids to ski? Etc.)

  • In addition to the calendar dates, have an idea of activities that you, the other parent and the children have on a daily basis. Does a child go to soccer after school? Piano lessons on Wednesday? Do you always have to stay late at work on Wednesday, but have flexibility on Fridays? Have tentative daily schedules and reminders written down so you can plan accordingly.
  • Do you or the other parent have relatives or good friends that live nearby that want to be helpful with the children? A court cannot order grandma to pick up the kids and take them to swimming practice on Thursdays, but if grandma wants to be a part of it, you can put that in the mediated agreement. Can the kids, if they are old enough, stay at home alone after school if they check in with the neighbor who works from home? Speak to friends, neighbors and family beforehand to offer additional solutions to common parenting scheduling problems.
  • Enter mediation with an open mind and a calm demeanor. Even if the other parent is being unreasonable, always stay calm and collected during mediation. Accept the fact that you cannot control what the other parent says or does in mediation; you can only control your reaction. Getting upset will never help your situation. If you do get upset, it’s okay, but ask for a 10-minute break and get some fresh air to help you calm down.
  • Understand that it might take a few sessions to work out an agreement and plan. If you do not come to an agreement on the first session, know that you did not fail. Sometimes, people need time to reflect and may come back to another mediated session with some new insights into what really matters and what needs to be done. As they say, hindsight is 20/20 ”“ an unsuccessful first session helps both parties identify ways to move forward.
  • Take the time to understand that when parents do not live together, neither parent is going to get as much time with the child(ren) as they would like. Think about the situation from the child’s point of view. It’s your job as a parent to do what is best for the kids, even if that means you might not get to see them as often as you’d like.

The Denver family law attorneys at Divorce Matters provide mediation services for divorcing couples in Colorado.