Two Moms, One Baby: Colorado Sheds New Light on King Solomon’s Dilemma

In the Interest of S.N.V., a Child,
And Concerning C.A.T.C., Petitioner-Appellee
And N.M.V., Respondent-Appellee,
And B.V., Intervenor-Appellant

10CA1302

Petitioner-Appellee (“birth mother”) and Respondent-Appellee (“husband”) are parents to minor child, who was born in 2007. Petitioner brings this case, seeking an allocation of parental responsibilities. The Intervenor-Appellant (“wife”) seeks to establish her rights as the minor child’s legal mother. It is clear to the Court that the minor child was conceived through sexual intercourse between husband and birth mother.

What remains in dispute are the circumstances surrounding the minor child’s conception. Husband and wife asserted that there was a non-verbal agreement that birth mother was to act as a surrogate. As part of this agreement, they attended all of birth mother’s medical appointments and paid for all her expenses relating to the pregnancy and birth. Husband and wife claim that they have been the minor child’s sole caregivers since his birth.

Birth mother claims that the minor child’s conception came from an intimate relationship between her and husband. She states she was involved in the care of the minor child for the first two years of his life, but that husband severed her contact with the child.

The crux of this case is that two women are claiming to be the minor child’s mother. In a 2000 Colorado Supreme Court case, N.A.H. v. S.L.S., two men claimed to be a child’s father, one biologically, and the other because he was married to the mother and received the child into his home, and held it out as if it were his own. In N.A.H., the Colorado Supreme Court held that “neither the presumption of legitimacy nor the presumption based on biology is conclusive,” meaning that both men had a claim to paternity of the child. One claim was based on statutory presumptions, and the other was based on biology, or genetic testing. The Court held in N.A.H. that the competing claims must be decided in the best interests of the child.

The Colorado Appellate Court has held that this interpretation of the UPA should also apply to maternity actions. Under the UPA, giving birth, or biology is one way to determine a parent-child relationship, however, this relationship can be proven by any other proof that is specified in § 19-4-105. A woman’s proof of marriage to the child’s father, or her proof of receiving the child into her home, and holding the child out as her own may establish the mother-child relationship.

Having remanded the case back down to the trial court the Colorado Court of Appeals stated that it did not suggest that a court must treat biological relationships and relationships based upon statutory presumptions as being equal. It merely stated that “these interests must be considered, along with all other relevant facts, in determining the outcome of an action under the UPA.”

The trial court will now have the task of weighing the two women’s legal claims to the child, as well as what is in the child’s best interest in this matter, to determine which woman will have the legal mother-child relationship with the minor child.

Five Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce

Usually, by the time a potential client enters our office, he or she has already made the decision to file for a divorce. However, sometimes people do come in to weigh their options, and find out about the process of divorce, because they have not yet made up their minds. They may be seriously considering divorce as an option but have questions about the process, what they can expect, and what they should do to prepare themselves””and often their children””if they should choose to proceed.

With this in mind, this week’s blog post is a bit of a departure. Rather than writing for those who are divorced, this post is aimed at those who are struggling with what is often a protracted and painful choice: whether to file for a divorce.

We are not therapists, and we do not provide relationship advice. But what we can offer are a few things you should seriously consider before filing for a divorce””whether you choose to do so on your own, or with the guidance of an experienced family law attorney.

  • Recognize your biggest concerns. Every divorce begins with warning signs. Whether you are considering divorce because of infidelity, money woes, or other issues in the relationship that have become untenable, the full scope of your concerns (and possibly challenges) may or may not be readily recognizable. If you are unhappy in your marriage, do your best to identify the root problem and corollary trouble spots. Knowing your concerns will make it that much easier to work through them and address your emotional and psychological needs during the divorce process.
  • Act now. If you are worried about your marriage, and you think you want to work out your problems, act quickly. Once serious thoughts about divorce begin, negative emotions associated with your marriage ””anger, bitterness, distrust””have often taken deep root. The longer you connect these negative feelings to your marriage””and, often, your spouse””the harder it will be to move past them and on to a healthier relationship if staying together is the optimal course.
  • Speak to a counselor. Before they initiate a divorce, many couples find that speaking with a counselor or therapist, either together or apart, is highly beneficial. In many cases, couples therapy is desirable, but if that is not an option, see one on your own. Talk through your hot button issues with a neutral third party. These are safe spaces to express concerns and uncover some of the underlying issues that may be at work.
  • Be ready for hard work. As you and every other individual in a long-term relationship knows all too well, no relationship is easy. Marriage can be one of the most  important and challenging relationships, given how it is woven through every fiber of your life from finances, parenting, work, extended family relationships, to day-to-day living. If your mind is not made up, be prepared to put some time and work into your relationship to fix any problems you may be having.
  • Make an appointment with a Denver divorce attorney. If, after making an attempt to resolve the issues in your marriage, you are still unhappy or are still having problems, speak with a divorce attorney. Make sure you are fully informed and understand the process, the timeframe, and what you can expect to happen during your divorce. Divorce law is complicated, and an attorney can give you a better picture of what you may be looking at in terms of time, expense, and most importantly, outcome.  There are so many things that happen in a divorce, and decisions made will impact your family’s life significantly.  An experienced attorney can help you see the road ahead so you can navigate it easier, with fewer surprises, as you move down it.

Conclusion

For every couple who will divorce, there is one who will not.  Divorce is not the right solution for everyone experiencing turmoil or deep difficulties in their relationship. Before you make a decision one way or the other””to work hard and stay together, or to go your separate (but often forever intertwined) ways””give yourself the gift of time to fully consider the options.  Talk to experts in family therapy and relationships, and meet with a family law attorney who can help you take proactive steps, regardless of your final decision and its outcome.

Six Questions to Ask When Choosing a Divorce Attorney

Recently, Frank and Jamie McCourt, owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers, reached a mutually agreeable divorce”¦with Jamie getting a settlement of $131 million in exchange for the rights to the Dodgers. Frank McCourt now faces bankruptcy, and may have to sell the team.  Shared finances, joint property, and joint debt:  while the dollar amounts may be a bit different, the issues Frank and Jamie faced, and will continue to face, are echoed in virtually every divorce in every part of the country. With all these financial (and reputational) assets in play, both of the McCourts had divorce attorneys who were hand-selected and carefully chosen to meet each of their very specific needs. And, of course, no legal expense was spared.

While every divorce is painful, most of us do not have the same level of assets and the financial ability, or willingness, to fight to the bitter end.  Further, it should not be necessary. Every divorce is difficult and every divorce brings out the worst side of a person whom we once could not live without. Every divorce is full of grief, anger, and the full range of emotions you can imagine.  Perhaps the biggest difficulty of divorce is accepting that things will change in your family’s life.  It is impossible for a couple to divorce and have everything to stay the same.

Often, emotions get the best of us in the divorce process. Some of us have a flight mentality, meaning we just want to fold our tents and get out as quickly as possible with as little emotional damage. Others want to fight for everything, down to the dog bowls and the everyday silverware. However, neither of these options has to happen, either.  Most importantly, you don’t have to bankrupt yourself to emerge from the process with your best interests protected.

Many people avoid hiring a lawyer for fear of just one more cost in an already costly process. But divorce attorneys are often a key to saving yourself money, protecting your present interests, preserving your future ones, as well as helping your family to find the best solutions to the inevitable disagreements that arise during a divorce.

Like the McCourts, you can, and should, have an attorney who can specifically meet your individual needs, if it is in your best interests and personal situation to have counsel.

Below are six questions to ask when meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time:

  1. Does the attorney specialize in divorce law? Attorneys who focus on divorce law know it inside and out and can anticipate pitfalls before they happen. They understand the nuances of family court and negotiating through what can be volatile situations. They should have experience with local family judges and magistrates (make sure and ask) and will know a great deal about those judges and how they will react to particular elements of your divorce proceeding.
  2. What are the attorney’s priorities? Your divorce is not about their priorities; it is about yours. Is he or she all about winning the most money? Protecting the children? Standing up to the demands of the opposing party? Your attorney’s priorities should align with yours as they set about handling your case. Most importantly, your attorney must be willing to understand your priorities and give you the best advice given the particulars of your case and situation. Critically, that advice will not always be what you want to hear, either.
  3. Is the attorney willing to call in outside expertise? In some divorce cases, finances or parenting situations can be highly charged. Is your attorney willing to call in a CPA or a valuation expert to value the family business? Does your attorney have therapists to recommend if your child is struggling with the divorce? Has your attorney worked with Child Family Investigators or Parental Responsibility Evaluators?
  4. How much does the attorney charge? Attorney costs are often one of the things feared most as people initiate divorce proceedings. Do not be afraid to ask about fees. How do they bill? Based on your case and finances, what alternative arrangements can they offer? Can they assist you in a do-it-yourself divorce for a smaller fee set in advance? Good attorneys offer no surprises when it comes to money. Ask questions about how and what this will cost? Feel free to ask what it might cost if you go it alone.
  5. Does the attorney come recommended? Can you speak with past clients or read client reviews somewhere? Is your attorney recognized by his or her peers in law directories for their good performance? Have they been disciplined by the state bar, and what were they disciplined for?  Do not shy away from asking for the names of past clients to talk with to understand their experiences first-hand.
  6. Do you trust the attorney? Attorney-client trust is vital to the success of your case. How do you feel about the attorney you are meeting? Is he or she friendly and approachable? Did you have a good rapport or did you feel awkward and uncomfortable? Remember, you will have to hear things you might not like during a divorce case. Does he or she seem like someone who will give you a straight answer, even if it is unpopular?

Conclusion

Choosing the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make during your divorce. These questions will hopefully help you evaluate your options, so you can choose a divorce attorney who will always have your best interests in mind.

Five Lessons From Celebrity Breakups

It doesn’t matter who you are, how many people you know (or know you), or how much money you make. Everyone, regardless of fame or fortune, will face the same life lessons in patience and strength when going through a divorce. Celebrity does not make the emotional and psychological challenges any easier, and it is likely that the media scrutiny exacerbates them. However, because celebrity divorces are so public, there are many ways we can learn from them.

Let us take a quick look at popular culture for some lessons we can learn from celebrity breakups:

  • Your posts or tweets can strike back. Rumors of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s split went viral after a few suspicious activities on Facebook and Twitter that caught discerning eyes. We also learned from Anthony Weiner’s Twitter indiscretions that social media is not the slightest bit private, and quite possibly the poorest forum for proving fidelity. While many of us have a perception of privacy when we’re on Facebook or Twitter, that perception isn’t reality. Not only are they not private, they are not fleeting, like we often believe. Nothing on the internet really ever disappears, and what you post or tweet may come back to hurt you later on.
  • Always keep an open mind towards ending your relationship peaceably. Kelsey and Camille Grammar had a very public and bitter divorce, with mud slung around from both sides”¦right up until the last moment. Their conflict came to a close with an amicable settlement that ended the relationship sooner than anticipated, leaving Mr. Grammar free to re-marry within a matter of weeks. Even though it feels like the person you once loved is now your worst enemy, try to overcome your anger and bitterness, especially when children are involved. Remember that although you may no longer be married to a person, it is highly unlikely that your contact will cease the day the Judge signs the Decree. You may be sharing custody of children or continue running a business with your soon-to-be-ex in the future. Remember it is possible to resolve your differences and end the relationship amicably, which is a positive for everyone involved.
  • Finances are one of the hardest hurdles you will face. Whether you make millions from blockbuster films or have a middle-class income, the subject of maintenance, which was once called alimony, is often one of the biggest sources of contention in a marriage. Maintenance, which does not include child support, requires agreeing on a “fair” amount for one spouse to pay another, and for what time period. This is often a very difficult mountain to climb. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, after 25 years of marriage, are struggling with this very topic. Though Arnold has not contested child support, he has objected to paying spousal support and Maria’s attorney fees. Money can quickly make bitter enemies. While child support is calculated by statute, it is very common for parties to quibble about the factors that go into a calculation. Parenting time and gross monthly income are not as cut and dry as one might think. It is important to find the right attorney, financial advisor, and support system that can help you protect your interests. It is also important to make sure your team will go about handling maintenance in a respectful and civil way that protects all parties to the process.
  • Life will go on, and things will get better. When you are going through a divorce, it can seem like your whole life revolves around it. It can be hard to look beyond the stress and see improvement in the future. But it does come. Look at Jennifer Lopez and Marc Antony, for example. Both seemed visibly shaken by the divorce, after all, celebrities are people, too! However, both have moved on, with Jennifer moving into new high profile ventures and Mark choosing to ramp up his singing career.
  • And then there is Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian. There is little wisdom that we can glean from Kim’s and Kris’ short stint in matrimony, except of course, that having the first months of marriage filmed for a reality show may not be the best idea. However, it’s certainly been good for the tabloid business.

Conclusion

Every day, we see stories about famous couples getting married and getting divorced. Fame and fortune do not make things easier. However, because their lives are so public, perhaps there are a few things we can learn from them to apply to our own experiences and circumstances. We can see the mistakes and pitfalls to which celebrities so often succumb, and hopefully by doing so, we can avoid them ourselves. Most importantly, we can also learn from famous couples who handle a very difficult divorce with dignity and maturity, even when it is the hardest thing to do.

Annulment or Divorce: What’s The Difference?

When speaking with couples who want to legally end their marriages, we sometimes get questions about annulment instead of divorce. Often, people assume that annulments are less expensive, simpler, or less contentious.

Sometimes, people are seeking an annulment instead of divorce for religious purposes, as well. Regardless of the reasons behind seeking an annulment instead of a divorce, Colorado has very specific qualifications for couples seeking annulment.

What’s the difference between an annulment and a divorce?

A divorce puts an end to your marriage legally, so you are no longer recognized as married. On the other hand, an annulment means that your marriage was invalid and never existed. If you are entitled to and receive an annulment, in all records and legal documentation, an annulment makes it so that””for all intents and purposes””your marriage never existed.

So what’s required for an annulment?

Because this is a drastic step””declaring that you were never really married””Colorado’s requirements for annulment are very specific and have to fall within strict timelines. In Colorado, you can only get an annulment if:

  • One party was mentally incapacitated and was not legally able to consent to the marriage. This could be mental illness, or a drug or alcohol addiction. This requirement must be reported within 6 months of discovery.
  • The marriage was not consummated because one party was physically incapable. However, this requirement actually only applies if the other party was unaware of the physical disability when the marriage was initiated. This requirement must be reported within 12 months of discovery.
  • If one party was not yet 18 when married and did not have a guardian’s permission. This requirement must be reported within 24 months and must be reported by the underage party or his/her guardian.
  • The marriage was initiated under false pretenses, such as one party misrepresenting himself or herself, the marriage was forced under duress, and/or occurred under false pretenses.
  • Your spouse was already married. This actually voids the marriage because the marriage was never legal in the first place.
  • The marriage is incestuous.

Legal Steps

Individuals who pursue an annulment instead of a divorce still need to address and resolve nearly all of the same issues as a divorce””particularly as they relate to joint property, maintenance fees, or child custody. The process often takes the same amount of time as a divorce and follows many of the same steps. To apply in the first place, one or the other of you needs to have lived in Colorado for at least 30 days or you must have been married in Colorado, and you will need to apply in the county where you reside.

The initial step in petitioning the Court for a declaration of invalidity is to file a petition, summons and case information sheet, and pay the filing fee in the court that you reside in. You may also need to complete additional forms, such as a sworn financial statement, parenting plan, and separation agreement””similar forms to those filed for a divorce, depending on your individual circumstances. After you file your petition, your spouse will have an opportunity to file a response.

After this response period, you may need to complete additional forms, depending on the specific facts of your case before scheduling and attending your final hearing. At the hearing, the judge or magistrate will grant or deny your annulment, and will also enter other orders that may be necessary to deal with joint property, debts, assets, and children.

Conclusion

While some people think getting an annulment would be simpler or cheaper than getting a divorce, in reality, this is not the case. If you are seeking an annulment, look into it carefully before making that leap. In many cases, you may not meet the requirements to request an annulment and will need to pursue a divorce. Annulments and divorce involve many complicated issues and””while you can pursue them on your own””the advice of an attorney could save you money, time and stress.

How to Adjust Colorado Alimony Obligations

If there is one constant in life, it is that life always changes. Layoffs, retirement, career changes, remarriage, changes with an aging parent, or illness – all of these can have an impact on how you live your life and how you manage your financial obligations. For divorced couples and parents, these changes are further complicated because of maintenance or spousal support obligations.

We frequently work with people who need to reduce their maintenance payments. We also work with people who need to seek an increase in the maintenance they receive. The need to change these payments can vary, but Colorado alimony modifications are as much a fact of life as constant change.

Maintenance Defined

In Colorado, alimony or maintenance refers to spousal support  and is usually seen in cases that involve a long-term marriage, or a case where one spouse has been able to make significantly more than the other – as in the case of a stay-at-home parent.

Whether or not one is entitled to maintenance initially is governed under §14-10-114 of the Colorado Revised Statutes. An initial award of maintenance is not always required in a divorce, and a determination of entitlement (amount and duration) is case specific. When maintenance is awarded or agreed upon as part of a divorce, all terms regarding the amount and duration are specified.

There is also the question of taxation regarding paying or receiving alimony. To make it simple: if you are paying alimony, your payments are NOT tax deductible, and if you are receiving alimony, your payments will NOT be taxed as income. Alimony is different than child support: child support IS considered income, which will reduce alimony payments for the receiving spouse.

How to Determine the Amount You Will Receive

Many factors come into play when determining if and how much alimony you may pay or receive. Financial situation and earning capacity, duration of marriage, and physical condition (age, illness, etc.) all influence alimony payments. Not every divorcee qualifies for Colorado alimony, which can be temporary or “permanent” depending on the court’s opinion of both divorcees’ needs. Divorce Matters® offers a free calculator to give you a better idea of potential payment amounts or earnings.

Substantial and Continuing Change

According to §14-10-122 of the Colorado Revised Statutes (C.R.S.), maintenance is modifiable only if there has been a substantial and continuing change. However, you should be aware that if you and your spouse, or former spouse, entered into an agreement regarding the payment of maintenance, whether or maintenance is modifiable will be determined solely on the provisions of that agreement, regardless of whether or not there has been a substantial and continuing change.

So, for example, if your agreement specifically states that “maintenance is contractual and non-modifiable” the Court will not have jurisdiction to modify maintenance even if something has changed in your life. Even if you are not bound by an agreement, the courts may not consider the change in your life to be a “continuing” change and may decline to modify maintenance. From the court’s perspective, some life obstacles are bumps in the road that are only temporary, such as lack of employment, as your finances will (hopefully) revert back to levels similar to when you negotiated your maintenance agreement.

For the court to approve a maintenance modification, you must be able to prove that the change to your financial situation is not only significant but ongoing. While temporary unemployment is not considered ongoing, income loss from a disability often is. If done properly, an out-of-court settlement involving alimony can ensure that the terms of the agreement remain the same, preventing modifications even if circumstances change or either party remarries.

Taking the First Steps

The first step is to determine whether your Colorado alimony or maintenance can be modified. In some divorces, the maintenance obligation cannot be modified. If the maintenance obligation can be changed, you need to determine whether there has been a substantial change that would support a modification.

So, what should you do if your finances have changed substantially and you can no longer meet your maintenance responsibilities?

  • Collect the right information. When you apply for modification, you will need to complete a current Sworn Financial Statement, just as you did during the divorce process. Some information that will be helpful to you while completing this statement include:
    • Tax returns from the past three years
    • W-2 or 1099s from last year
    • Current paystub
  • Refer back to your original divorce agreements. As mentioned earlier, in some divorces, the couple agrees during the divorce process that all maintenance obligations are unchangeable. One of your very first steps should be to understand what you originally agreed to. You should speak to an attorney for legal advice.
  • If you have already missed payments, pay back as much as possible as soon as possible, even if it is not the full amount. Try to demonstrate to the courts that you are making an effort to catch up on your payments, even while seeking a better maintenance agreement. If you make no payments, you may be considered uncooperative, which may reflect poorly on you during the modification process.
  • Seek legal advice. Some maintenance agreements may not be modified, but in many cases – if you can prove that your financial situation has drastically changed – it may be feasible. An attorney will be able to clarify your options. Also, because maintenance is not decided based on a formula, legal representation can help you maneuver the sticky, subjective areas in the law. The most important thing you can do is to act immediately and not wait. Modifications can only be applied back to the date that you file with the court requesting a modification of maintenance.  Courts may also look at the length of time that you waited to address the issue as part of determining whether or not the change is substantial. The longer you wait, the less effective your argument becomes that your life change was substantial.

Conclusion

Changes are going to happen in life, and when those changes affect whether or not you can continue to make your maintenance support payments, it is vital to understand what your rights and responsibilities are and to clarify all options. You will only have an opportunity at successfully modifying maintenance if you can prove that your situation has changed drastically and that the change is ongoing – such as being laid off because of an injury or illness or retirement. You must know exactly where you stand.

Colorado alimony, or spousal maintenance, is designed to provide financial support after a divorce, but it is not necessarily set in stone. Modifications are possible under the right circumstances, but they require strong legal backing and solid proof of substantial and continuing financial changes that could negatively affect you – especially if you are the one paying. If you are experiencing financial hardship, facing unexpected life changes, or simply need clarity on your maintenance obligations, taking proactive steps is crucial.

Understanding your legal options and obligations can make all the difference when it comes to modifying alimony. Whether you are seeking to reduce your payments due to job loss or requesting an increase because of unforeseen financial burdens, it is essential to act promptly and with the right representation. Delaying action may weaken your case, as courts consider both the nature of the change and how long you have waited to address it.

At Divorce Matters®, we specialize in helping individuals navigate the complexities of Colorado alimony modifications. Our experienced attorneys are ready to evaluate your situation, guide you through the legal process, and advocate for a fair outcome. We treat every client with compassion and aim to get you the best results possible. Don’t let financial uncertainty overwhelm you – contact Divorce Matters® today to discuss your case and find out how we can help you move forward with confidence. Your financial stability and future are too important to leave to chance.

How to Deal with Exes and Parenting Issues Post-Divorce

Our Twitter feed has been full of great tips for dealing with ex-spouses this week! Whether emotionally or legally, dealing with your ex after your divorce can be a bumpy””but often necessary””ride. The most common reason an ex stays in your life after the relationship ends is shared custody of the kids. If you have children together, your life will likely never be completely free of a former spouse””even after the kids enter adulthood.

Maintaining a civil relationship with an ex””in most cases, except instances of abuse or violence””can benefit everyone involved, particularly children. It may not always be easy, but here are a few tips for dealing with an ex in ways that everyone can live with:

  • Do not badmouth your ex in front of your kids: Face it””everyone is human. And all of us are tempted at times to express anger, frustration, annoyance, or sadness when the kids are going to visit the ex. For your children’s sake””and for your own mental health””please refrain. Seriously. It will not help you, and it certainly is not good for the children to feel stuck in the middle. In fact, try and go the opposite direction. Be generous. Let your children know your ex””their mother or father””loves them as much as you do, even if””inside your head””you have negative thoughts. Try to remember that the most important people in this relationship are your children. They will watch your actions as well as listen to your words. And it is not just the kids who will benefit. Avoiding arguments, harsh words, and negative emotions will reduce your own stress. Find someone to confide in””a good friend, family member, or therapist””and save your negative thoughts for a better setting and recipient.
  • Adjust to changes and be understanding: Your ex is dealing with his or her life too. There may be times when he or she is late for the children’s drop-off and pick-up. Or maybe there is a work conflict or an after-school activity to navigate around. Try to be flexible and understanding. Life happens, so be open to changes and adjust as best you can. If unplanned changes to parenting schedules and visits seem to be happening often, it might be time to review arrangements. If your ex is late to a few drop-offs, the world will not end; however, if it is a precursor to more serious behaviors or habits, consider whether there will be long-term effects. Again, the most important person here is your child. Will this behavior eventually impact your child negatively? If not, do your best to be flexible, even when it is hard.
  • Find neutral help: If you are finding it beyond difficult to maintain civility””and believe us, it happens””find someone who can act as a go-between or mediator for you. This can be a friend or family member, but it should be someone who both of you like and respect””and importantly, someone who can be neutral. This neutral party could then attend drop-offs and pick-ups or any additional meetings between the two of you regarding your child’s upbringing. Often, involving someone who is not directly affected can defuse a tense situation and keep everyone calm.
  • Keep the lines of communication open: Whether your child is having a hard time adjusting to the divorce, is involved in sports that bring frequent schedule changes, or even is having problems in school””you and your ex will need to be able to communicate. The first step is to find the communication style that works for both of you. It could be that email is easiest because face-to-face dredges up too many emotions. It could be that you need a neutral third party we discussed above. Either is fine. Just pick what works for you and the kids and make sure to keep talking. If you see a potential problem at your home with your child, make sure you let the other parent know. If your child is interested in joining a sport, and the games will require out-of-state travel, talk to each other. Communication in any fashion that reduces stress, prevents misunderstanding and ensures both parents know all they need to know to effectively address a child’s needs is the ultimate goal.

Conclusion

Your marriage may have ended, but you will always have your kids in common””and that means a little extra challenge when you are adjusting to life as ex-partners. Whether it is scheduling joint attendance at events, juggling the challenges of daily scheduling or child-rearing challenges, you and your ex will want to develop new””and perhaps unexpected””coping and communication skills to make sure children grow up with as much involvement and interaction from both parents as possible, despite the divorce.

Why You Should Consider a Prenup

Prenuptial agreements are, quite possibly, the most misunderstood of family law issues. Some think of them as something only for the rich and famous with famously large assets to protect. Others believe a prenuptial agreement highlights trust issues and signals the demise of a relationship before it is even been legally cemented.

In reality, prenuptial agreements are often drafted between the non-famous and not famously rich. In fact, they are typically a sound idea for anyone with even small but independently obtained assets to consider. And with divorce rates approaching 50% in our country, prenuptial agreements may be something you and your spouse-to-be might seriously consider.

Potential inheritance, joint debt, retirement funds, all of these are taken into account when you develop a prenuptial agreement. It is not just a list of this is mine and that is yours but rather a cohesive plan of how you will handle a divorce, should it happen.

Here is a quick list of questions you might ask yourself to see whether or not you might need a prenuptial agreement:

  • Are you an owner or partial owner of a business?
  • Do you have separate assets?
  • Do you have separate debt?
  • Do you have kids, either together or from a previous relationship?
  • Are you in line to receive an inheritance?
  • Do you have assets you would want to protect, such as family heirlooms?
  • Do you anticipate needing to financially support elderly relatives in the future?
  • Does one or the other of you own a house or property?
  • Do you have separate retirement funds?
  • Are you a same-sex couple in a state that does not recognize gay marriage?
  • Are you concerned about your different money-spending or money-saving habits?

Drafting a prenuptial agreement does not mean you are planning for a divorce, as the stigma indicates. Instead, it is a method of protecting yourself just in case the unthinkable happens. With our clients, we liken it to wearing a helmet when you ride your bike. You are not planning to get into an accident, but sometimes life happens, and you want to be protected.

So what are you being protected from?

In Colorado, a divorcing couple’s assets and debts may be considered joint property. The courts will decide an equitable division of both. With a prenuptial agreement, you can decide ahead of time which pre-marriage assets and debts will be considered as individual rather than joint. It may prevent you from having to pay your spouse’s student loans for the next 20 years. Or it may protect your business assets from being divided between the two of you.

Conclusion

Prenuptial agreements are not for everyone. But if you or your partner believe one is in your best interests, based on individually held assets or other factors, speaking with a lawyer about the pros and cons of such a legal document is highly beneficial.

Prenuptial agreements are not an indication that you do not trust someone, and they are not an admission of defeat before the marriage has even begun. Instead, they are an open acknowledgment that life happens, and sometimes things do not go as planned.

Divorce, no matter the circumstances leading up to it, is an emotionally stressful time. A thoughtful, well-crafted prenuptial agreement has the power to protect both of you during what can be a potentially contentious situation.

Divorce Matters Overturns Wrongful Adoption, Reunites Father with Son

Recently, we handled a case that really reminded us of why our work is so important.

In this case, the mother and step-father filed for a step-parent adoption without the biological father’s consent. Along with their petition for step-parent adoption the mother and step-father filed an affidavit alleging the biological father had abandoned his son and failed to pay reasonable child support for more than a year.

A hearing was held to determine whether the father had abandoned his son and failed to pay reasonable child support and whether to grant the step-parent adoption. The father did not attend the hearing. At the hearing, the mother and step-father failed to inform the court that the father had recently filed and won, two months earlier, a hearing to enforce his parenting time and that he was exercising his parenting time with his son at the time of the hearing. They also failed to inform the court the father had repeatedly fought to enforce his parenting time for years. The court relied on the fraudulent affidavit, terminated the father’s parental rights, and granted the step-parent adoption. Thereafter, the father was not allowed to see his son.

Father, without an attorney, filed a motion to set aside the adoption based on fraud. The trial court refused to hold a hearing regarding father’s allegations that the step-parent adoption was obtained through fraud.

Divorce Matters began representing Father to reinstate his parental rights and to vacate the step-parent adoption.

First, Divorce Matters appealed to the Colorado Court of Appeals the Judge’s decision in which he refused to hold a hearing regarding father’s allegations of fraud. Divorce Matters got the Court of Appeals to reverse the Judge’s decision and the Court of Appeals sent the case back to the trial court to determine whether the adoption was obtained through fraud.

Second, Divorce Matters went to hearing and argued the step-parent adoption was obtained through fraud. The trial court agreed. The trial court found the father had not abandoned his son and that the mother and step-father fraudulently misrepresented to the court that the father had abandoned his son. The court vacated the step-parent adoption and reinstated the father’s parenting time effective immediately. After not seeing his son for almost two years, the father gets to see his son again.

This is the type of case””and outcome””we always hope to secure for our clients and remind us why we work so hard on our clients’ behalf every day.

Dealing with the Family Business During Divorce

Recently, I spent some time talking to a couple currently in the process of having their family business valued. This couple, together for 15 years, is divorcing””having worked together at the business for much of their time together. Both spouses want their fair share of the business’ value.

Now they face having to appraise the business and figure out what’s next””from keeping the business with a sole owner to selling it and allocating sale profits among involved parties. What’s more, both have a vested interest in keeping the business running and maintaining profitability during the divorce process, until sound decisions about the future are secured.

This story is not uncommon. Divorce can be damaging to small business owners, particularly if both parties involved in the divorce were also highly ranked in their business. How do you decide what’s fair, when both of you have been heavily involved in this family venture?

Here are some tips on how to keep your business going, even after you’ve divorced:

Make decisions

Consider every level of potential effect from the divorce””from potential lost revenue to communicating with employees. Some potential questions to ask in regards to how you will handle the business include:

  • Are you planning to sell or keep the business?
  • Will you both continue to work there, or will one of you buy out the other?
  • Can you afford to buy out your spouse, if that is your interest?
  • How will you manage and run the business during the divorce process?

Make these decisions early in the divorce proceedings. In addition to getting the buy-out-or-sell decision out of the way, it may also provide you some piece of mind and security during your divorce.

Get a business valuation

Regardless of which above decision you make, you will need to know your business’ overall value. Hire a neutral third party””an accountant, business appraiser, or financial analyst who specializes in business valuation””to walk you through the steps. A business valuation takes into account all assets of the business, including the “intangibles.” Often, both spouses in this situation will hire their own valuation expert for comparison purposes.

In today’s economically challenged world, property values and future earning potential may both be considerably lower than years past, which is one reason why it is particularly important to have an accurate business valuation completed. The business valuation will take into account all aspects of the company””assets, liabilities, earning potential””to anticipate how lucrative the business’ future looks. To help the process along, have available tax returns or loan applications that you have filed as a business.

Conclusion

In the state of Colorado, a jointly owned business is considered marital property and will be split “equitably.” If the business is owned by one or the other it may not be considered joint or marital property, but it still may be affected if both of you played a major role in running the company.

The court will take into account the valuation of the business and the roles that each of you played in running and maintaining the business to make its decision on who will get what in the divorce. The court may order a buy-out from one of you to the other. If the two of you can’t come to an agreement, the court may decide to order that the business be sold. The court may also be open to the two of you continuing to work together if your divorce is amicable.