Divorcing in the Golden Years

Improved medical availability and technology has led to an increased life expectancy in the United States. Americans are living longer, healthier lives than they ever have in any time in our history. And with those longer lifetimes come higher aspirations for life in the Golden Years.

Many Baby Boomers want more from life than just the status quo””and it may be leading more couples to divorce court than ever before. Among the over-60 set, the incidence of divorce has increased sharply””by 50% in just the past 10 years.

Because these couples have had decades to build financial and emotional lives together””children, grandchildren, retirement funds, real estate assets, and shared debt””divorce in the golden years can be far more complicated.

The key factors of concern for divorcing couples over age 60 include:

  • Dependent Incomes: Many couples divorcing after 60 face shared expenses that depend primarily on one or the other’s current or past income. It can be particularly challenging to divide up assets equitably or calculate maintenance when one of you was a stay-at-home parent for decades””supporting the asset accumulation of the bread-winning spouse””while one of you earned the bulk of the income. It can also be more expensive to live as a single person, so you may be facing lifestyle changes with divorce.
  • Healthcare: Along with the dependent income, many couples divorcing later in life share healthcare coverage and costs. If you are retired or have never worked outside of the home, this can present unique challenges that the divorce process and division of assets and maintenance fees must address. At the age of 60, it is still a few years before you will be eligible for Medicare on your own. You’ll need to consider your own medical coverage during the divorce process.
  • Retirement Funds and Debt: Getting divorced does not mean that you have no more rights to your (soon to be ex-) spouse’s retirement or vice versa. If you have been married for longer than 10 years, you are entitled to a portion of each other’s social security benefits. This remains true even if one or the other of you remarry. And social security is just one piece of the retirement puzzle. If you and your spouse shared retirement funds throughout your relationship, dividing those funds can be messy, as can dividing up debts that have been shared for decades. If you have significant retirement assets, including pension plans, 401ks, Social Security and more, a financial planner who specializes in divorce and the division of assets is essential.
  • Emotional Stress: Then, there is the emotional element. Divorce is nearly universally difficult and painful, but a golden years divorce may bring out other emotions. These divorces can be traumatic to grown children, adding a twist to the impact of divorce on children. Divorcing couples over 60 often feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unlike 30- and 40-somethings who are divorcing, you may find yourself without a peer group. Worse, lifelong friendships can be at risk, as couples who have grown with you through the years struggle to deal with the “division of friendship.” Divorce at this stage of life takes different emotional tolls””and resources for you may not be as readily apparent. It’s wise to find a confidant””a therapist, support group, or other relationship””to help you through the emotional upheaval.

Conclusion

Divorce is different in the Golden Years. Impending retirements, medical needs and benefits, substantially larger assets, and emotional challenges less “researched” by experts in the field all bring a unique set of challenges. Financial planners, therapists, accountants, and a good attorney can be invaluable to you as you navigate the additional complexities of an already trying time in what you might have envisioned were the “Golden Years.”

When Divorce Means Selling Your House

Every once in a while, I hear someone comment that the Denver housing market isn’t suffering as much as other states.

That may very well be, but with single-family home sales dropping an average of 19.6% since last year and median home sales prices down 3.4%, I have also seen how hard it can be for divorcing couples to sell their home for their asking amount.

For that matter, it can be hard for Denver couples to sell their home in a timely manner at all.

Selling a house can take a long time””sometimes months or even more than a year. As of May 2011, the average length of time that a single-family home stayed on the market before being sold was about three and a half months””a month and a half longer than this time last year. That number may also rise depending on the price of your house. The more expensive your home’s listing price, the longer it may take to sell. A house that you owned with your spouse can rapidly become an albatross around your neck if you are still paying mortgage on a relationship that has ended.

So what do you do if you want to move forward with your divorce sooner rather than later, but your house isn’t selling immediately?

  1. Transfer mortgage over to one person’s name ”“ If one of you can afford to pay for the mortgage, you can refinance the house into that person’s name. Pro: Reduces some urgency, giving you more time to sell the house. Con: Requires legal and financial paperwork as well as negotiation for a fair and equitable buy-out.
  2. Joint mortgage responsibility ”“ During the process of your divorce, you can determine a fair division of the mortgage so that both parties remain responsible for the house payments. Pros: The entire mortgage payment will not fall solely onto one person. Con: Your finances and obligations will be tied to your ex until the house sells””potentially long after the divorce has been finalized.
  3. Consider short sale ”“ A short sale is essentially selling your house very quickly for less than the mortgage amount. It requires an agreement with your lender and is frequently easier to accomplish if the couple has good credit. Pro: Enables you to break ties with your (soon-to-be-former) spouse in a quick manner, without defaulting on your loan. Con: House will sell faster, but neither of you will make money from the sale. Research has also proven that short sales may be just as damaging to your credit as a foreclosure. Consider this option carefully.

Conclusion

I know that a house””or any jointly owned land or property””can be one of the biggest challenges in any divorce, outside of children. While Colorado’s housing market has fared better than some, it is still slow, and selling your house can be both an expensive and drawn-out process.

While it may seem overwhelming or painful to deal with right now””as you are eager to start the next phase of your life””the decisions you make regarding your joint property now will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Each individual and couple has different needs and obstacles to face when selling your house, so there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong path to choose. Hopefully the information I have provided has left you with the comfort that it’s not hopeless, and there are options available to you.

Weathering a Divorce in the Great Recession

Divorce is difficult enough. But when you are facing a recession like the Great Recession””with all the financial uncertainty around it””the challenges of divorce seem to multiply.

In our practice, we have seen the economic impacts first-hand. Some couples are reluctant””or simply unable””to sell jointly owned homes. Others are having a harder time making maintenance and child support payments. Statistics show that these couples, and perhaps you, are not alone. Across the country, couples going through a divorce or modifying existing agreements are experiencing greater levels of stress and upheaval due to economic conditions.

Over the past couple of years, the national divorce rate has decreased significantly, suggesting that some couples who may otherwise have divorced are now limited by financial strain or are afraid to make any major life changes at this time.

Across the country, the impact of harsher economic times has been mixed. Divorce rates had initially declined, leading to divergent speculation that the recession was bringing couples closer together””or that financial hardship was preventing separation. In reality, both opinions appear to be true, according to a study conducted by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. Tough times bring some folks together, while they drive others farther apart.

It has long been reported that financial stress wields significant force in marriages. The UVA study confirmed that, reporting that only 27% of respondents with two or three financial challenges””job loss, foreclosure, and so on””saw their marriage as a “happy” one.

Recent economic evidence suggests that nearly 16% of the working adult population is unemployed, significantly higher than the reported rate of 9.2%. Clearly, that has an impact on the level of stress in a marriage.

At the same time, many couples considering divorce have been forced by economic conditions to put a hold on separation and divorce plans. In the above study, 38% said they had put those plans on hold. The reason for that statistic is likely largely driven by the decline in home prices.

In America, during the boom real estate market of the 1990s and early 2000s, housing prices rose, sometimes dramatically in many areas. Now, in many markets, homeowners are underwater, literally trapped in homes that are worth far less than what they paid.

Housing “wealth” is often the largest tangible financial asset a divorcing couple has. In many markets””including Colorado””selling that asset has become increasingly difficult. It can take many months to sell a property, if it sells at all. And when it does sell, it is often for a reduced price. Many homeowners have to come to the closing table with money to simply clear the loan. Or they go the route of foreclosure or short sales.

But the reality is that the grim outlook for housing values has led many couples to postpone divorce, pushing divorce rates down for the time being.

If you, like so many others, find yourself feeling trapped by any number of recessionary impacts, speaking with an experienced divorce attorney can be beneficial. Though not always ideal, there are a few options for divorcing couples when it comes to dealing with their family home or negotiating maintenance and support during the recession. An attorney can walk you through some of those alternatives, giving you additional resources and strategies while helping you chart a course forward, even as we continue to navigate rough economic waters.

Next week, we will discuss some options for selling the family home during the divorce process.

Moving On: Relocating in the Middle of a Divorce

In today’s economy, many families facing divorce also face another potential source of upheaval: the need to relocate due to employment, economic circumstances, and family support. If either one of you may need to relocate for your job, to move closer to family, or to decrease expenses post-divorce, anticipating this possibility at the outset of divorce proceedings is essential.

It’s also important to understand relocating doesn’t necessarily mean moving out of state. It could be that you will need to move from Denver to Colorado Springs. Regardless of how far you or your spouse may end up moving, addressing the potential””especially if your divorce involves children””will save stress, money, and heartache in the long run.

Rules for Relocating

Relocation is an issue the Colorado courts have reviewed numerous times. In 2005, the Colorado Supreme Court issued two rulings that dealt with relocating parents who share children.

In one ruling, the Court distinguished between relocation of a parent during the initial divorce and relocation of a parent after parenting time has been established. The Court determined that in an initial custody proceeding, it would be easier for a parent to move, and the parties would have to address change during their initial parenting plan.

But after initial parenting time is established, the Court determined that more stringent standards for relocation should apply because the parties and children would already be accustomed to a parenting time schedule, and the children would have established a different relationship with the majority time parent that did not exist at the time of the initial proceeding.

In a case involving modification to an existing custody agreement, the Court found that three competing interests must be considered: the majority time parent’s right to travel; the minority time parent’s right to parent; and the children’s best interests.

The Supreme Court ruling mandated that 21 factors be considered to determine if relocation is in the children’s best interests. The factors include the reasons for the relocation, educational opportunities in each location, and the past involvement of each of the parties with the children.

Children’s Best Interest

During a parenting time procedure modification, both parties are required to actively present information and facts demonstrating how the children’s best interests will be served by relocating or by remaining in place. Even if you are not the moving party, you will still have to present evidence of what parenting plan or parenting arrangement will best serve the children and why.

Moving to a Different City

As we mentioned earlier, relocation does not necessarily mean you are moving from Colorado to another state. You are relocating whenever you move your children “to a residence that substantially changes the geographical ties between the child and the other party.” A move from Denver to Durango or Denver to Colorado Springs would certainly change those ties, but what about a move from Englewood to Erie? Many courts would say this is also a substantial change.

Relocation is a complex issue and comes with a myriad of emotional and social implications for you and your children. Consult an attorney for guidance during this challenging time, as modification of existing agreements is often as much of an emotional minefield as the initial proceedings were.

Relocation of any kind may require written permission from the other parent and/or negotiation with the other parent and their attorney. It will also require a revised modification agreement to be filed with the court, which can bring you back into the complex world of filing deadlines, due dates, and requirements that can wreak havoc with the delicate balance you’ve forged post-divorce.

Conclusion

Anticipating the potential need for relocation during your divorce process””describing how it will be handled, what will be considered, and what criteria and steps will need to be taken””specifically in your divorce documents will help decrease costly and stressful post-divorce modifications if the situation arises in the future.

The reality is that sometimes relocation happens””and it’s happening more and more as people have to go elsewhere for work. Whether it’s moving closer to an ailing family member or accepting a job in another state, life brings changes, and your children’s welfare should be your top priority at all times. Think about how you want to handle relocation ahead of time, so you’re not scrambling for a solution late in the game when emotions are running high.

Protecting Your Assets During Divorce: What Every Coloradoan Needs to Know

During your marriage, you were collaboratively building your nest egg for the future. But in a divorce, what happens to your retirement funds, your home, and your debts?

Dividing assets is one of the primary stressors in any divorce. If you’re beginning the divorce process, what do you need to know to protect yourself and secure an equitable share of assets?

Below, we’ve answered four of the most commonly asked questions about property and asset division.

How is “equitable” division of property decided?

In Colorado, “marital property” must be divided equitably, but that doesn’t always mean your assets will be divided equally. Generally, marital property is any property that is acquired during the marriage, unless the property is acquired by gift or inheritance.

The division of marital property is generally a two-step process. First, it must be determined what constitutes marital property. Once that’s defined and valued, that marital property must be divided equitably. To determine what is equitable, the Court will look at all relevant factors including:

  • Contributions of each spouse to that joint property;
  • Economic circumstances of each spouse;
  • Value of property set apart to each spouse; and
  • Any increase, decrease, or depletion in the value of any separate property during the marriage.

Your lawyer and an accountant can help you answer some of these questions proactively during your divorce proceedings, providing comprehensive checklists and worksheets to evaluate asset values and contributions based on economic circumstances and direct inputs.

What happens to my 401K or employer-sponsored retirement funds?

If you and your spouse have employer sponsored retirement accounts such as a 401K or SEP, these assets may be considered marital property, and your spouse may be entitled to a portion of those retirement funds.

The division of an employer-sponsored retirement account is complicated because of rules and requirements placed on employers for management of those funds. To divide assets in an employer-sponsored retirement fund, a Qualified Domestic Relations Order is usually required by the company to effectuate a transfer of those funds, in part to avoid adverse tax consequences.

Your 401K distribution through the divorce process is not subject to your 401K provider’s early withdrawal fee, if the withdrawal is managed and documented correctly. To avoid problems down the road, make sure that the documents required by your company for division of these assets are approved by the company before they are entered as Court Orders.

What happens to our house?

If you and your spouse own a home together, your house is considered marital property and its value””the proceeds secured from selling it””are divided. But remember, so is the debt associated with the home. Particularly in today’s housing market where sales are sluggish and values are dropping, your house as property””and its ultimate division””will be subject to a variety of factors, including joint mortgage ownership, difficulty in selling, one party not wanting to sell, the presence of children, and conflict over what should be done with the house during and after the divorce.

How are debts split?

Like your assets, debts incurred during the marriage are considered marital property. The first step you should take is to find out exactly what your debts are. You may know exactly how much you owe in debt, but if there is any possibility your spouse has spent money you are unaware of, your first course of action should be to get a credit report. This will identify any and all debt taken out in your name.

Once you are aware of what debt you carry under your name, the next step is to stop taking out additional debt. Discuss with your spouse the best course of action for stopping any spending on these accounts. As mentioned above, debts incurred during the marriage are marital property, and as such, will be split equitably. Who ultimately becomes responsible for which debt will be considered when the court decides an equitable allocation of your assets.

Conclusion

The division of marital property can be complex””particularly if you have a house, retirement funds, or debt. Speaking with a lawyer can help you secure a fair division of assets and liabilities. In some cases, you may also want to consult with additional experts””including accountants and financial advisors who specialize in divorce issues””to properly advise on issues related to your joint assets.

Why Facebook Might Not Be Your Friend During Divorce

Lawyers are reporting more and more cases in which an angry spouse went to Facebook and made negative comments about their soon-to-be ex”¦only to have those Facebook postings “among friends” come back to haunt them in their divorce proceeding.

Going through a divorce is an emotional, stressful time. During these times, it’s natural to turn to your virtual support group for help. But if you are in the process of divorcing, think twice before venting on Facebook.

According to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), Facebook is a primary source for online evidence in 66% of divorces today. What people say on their walls and in comments is public and it can be used in divorce proceedings. And there is even more reason to beware of Facebook. Even what other people post about you is public knowledge! For example, if you are tagged in a photo, you are now visible in that photo to not only your friends but your friends’ friends, and possibly the entire public, depending on your friends’ privacy settings. So it’s “poster beware” when it comes to Facebook for anyone contemplating or engaged in divorce proceedings.

So what are some common Facebook mistakes people make during their divorce process?

  • Trashing Your Ex: Be on the safe side and curtail your Facebook activity during any divorce or custody proceedings. We all need a support group, but for now, a smaller, less virtual one is probably safer.
  • Posting (or Posing for) Damning Photos: Avoid posting things yourself that could put you in an unfavorable light, and ask your friends to refrain from posting any images that contain your photo.
  • Lying: Because Facebook posts are admissible in divorce proceedings, you may get caught in any lie you tell; for example, misrepresenting your financial situation and then posting about new purchases and expensive hobbies.

Another recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81% of their attorneys are seeing a rise in social media being used in divorce cases .

The average Facebook user has 130 friends. And those friends have an average of 130 friends. And so on and so on. Each of your friends has varying levels of privacy settings. Some of your friends may be completely private, but some may be visible to anyone and everyone. If just one of your friends posts on his or her wall and one of their friends shares that on his or her wall, your private life could be reaching a wider audience than you ever imagined.

If you post something on Facebook that touches any of your divorce negotiations, be prepared to answer to it in court. Or even better””find a good friend to talk to in person about your divorce and leave Facebook alone until your case is closed.

Common Mistakes in DIY Divorces: Part II

In our previous posts in this series, we discussed the reasons why you may or may not want to hire an attorney, as well as the potential procedural and deadline mistakes commonly made when conducting a DIY divorce and the importance of understanding exactly what you are signing your name on.

Continuing in our attempt to clarify this often-confusing topic, we will now cover the next three common mistakes made and how those mistakes could affect your decision about whether a DIY divorce is the right option for you.

In our experience helping people recover from mistakes made during the DIY process, here are three additional common mistakes that we see:

Too-Vague Separation Agreements

As part of every DIY divorce, the couple is required to file a separation agreement that details each part of your settlement. Templates for separation agreements are available online and seem straightforward and simple.

However, legal processes are rarely simple. The biggest challenge that most couples face is including the appropriate level of detail to this document. Earlier we discussed the importance of understanding everything you sign, and this is no exception. If you sign this document, it is legal, no matter what it says.

So what happens if you don’t adequately describe what happens if you can’t sell your house immediately and end up paying more in joint mortgage than anticipated? What happens if one or the other of you loses a job and can no longer make the agreed-upon payments on joint debt? What happens if your spouse won’t follow the agreement?

Be specific. Make sure to address not just today but the future, and ask for what you want in detail. Don’t make any assumptions or think you should wait to speak with your spouse or mention something at the hearing. Get it in writing as early as possible.

Make sure that you set forth how you are going to deal with the unexpected. For example, what will you do if one or the other of you promises to do something during the process and then doesn’t deliver? Remember, you have to be able to enforce the agreement in the future if that is necessary.

Representing Yourself in Court

Representing yourself in a divorce hearing is nothing like what you see on Law and Order. It is also much more complicated than just dressing nice and talking respectfully.

Divorce is a topic that is inherently emotional and stressful, and representing yourself in front of a judge is never going to be straightforward and easy. Even in an uncontested divorce there will often be topics that are sensitive to one or the other of you. Representing yourself professionally and to the best of your ability will always be a challenge when you’re emotionally involved.

Know that even though you are emotionally invested in the hearing’s outcome, your judge will not cut you slack because you’re not an attorney. You will be expected to understand the laws and how they pertain to you, just as any attorney would. The learning curve for representing someone in court (let alone yourself) is high, and you need to do it right the first time.

Inadequate Parenting Plans

If your divorce involves children, the DIY process immediately becomes more complicated, and you may want to reconsider hiring an attorney. If you do move forward with the DIY divorce, keep in mind that the courts paramount concern is the best interests of your child or children.

In Colorado, all divorces that involve children require both a parenting plan and a child support worksheet. Understand what these are and make sure you complete them in full detail. As with the separation agreements mentioned above, parenting plan templates are available online, however, they are vague and don’t include detail. They’re intended to apply to everyone, but each couple’s situation is different.

A word to the wise: make the form fit your needs and view the form as a guideline for all the issues that must be addressed to satisfy the Court. That doesn’t mean that you and your spouse can’t add additional items or agreements that are pertinent to your children and your situation.

As with the separation agreements, don’t just plan for settlement today. Think about the future, and provide details. What happens if one parent has to relocate? What if someone loses their job? What happens if your schedule changes and you can’t meet the agreed-upon custody schedule? What will you do for holidays? How do you define a holiday? Do birthdays count? How about vacations? And for most divorced parents””biggest of all””how will you enforce it?

Conclusion

Deciding whether a DIY divorce is the right path for you depends entirely on your situation and how many complications are involved. It may be an ideal path for some, but in other cases, it may be too risky. Talk to a divorce attorney ahead of time. Learn what is involved and how you can proceed in a way that best suits you and your needs.

Common Mistakes in DIY Divorces: Part I

Most states permit DIY divorces, termed pro se proceedings. The internet is filled with DIY divorce kits, companies selling forms and drafting assistance, and handbooks for those who want to execute their divorce without hiring a lawyer.

But is it wise? To answer in typical lawyer fashion: It depends. If you have no kids, few financial or physical assets, and the separation is mutually agreed to, a pro se case may be just fine to consider.

But when you have children involved, financial assets or debts (i.e., 401Ks, IRAs, property, trusts, joint credit card debt), or there are relationship challenges””such as substance abuse or mental health problems””divorcing DIY-style might increase your risks and costs over the long term.

Here are a few common mistakes:

Procedural Mistakes

With all the paperwork and deadlines, it isn’t uncommon for people to make small mistakes in a pro se divorce proceeding that have big repercussions”¦such as forever giving up a right for maintenance or alimony, or””in worst-case scenarios””facing significant challenges to parental rights and custody.

Divorce proceedings””whether you opt to hire legal counsel or do it yourself””require that each step of the process be completed using specific paperwork, in a specific order, filed on precise dates, and with appropriate attention to detail. The paperwork you file for your divorce is not automatically checked for accuracy and fairness. Therefore, it is critical that you fill it out with no mistakes and in a manner that protects your rights. One mistake could cause you to give up invaluable financial rights and could severely limit your right to see your children and be involved in making decisions for them.

Each jurisdiction in Colorado has different procedures that must be followed. The very first step you should take when contemplating a DIY divorce is to know exactly which paperwork your jurisdiction requires. Once you know which forms are needed, read the instructions. All of them. Legal paperwork is confusing, so make sure you understand what information goes in which form, what all the requests mean, when the forms need to be turned in, and to whom.

While there are lots of companies on the internet and in town who will sell you forms and provide assistance filling out those forms for a fee, all the forms that you will need are available free through the state’s judicial website: www.courts.state.co.us. Also, many Colorado jurisdictions offer self-help centers, divorce clinics, or other resources for pro se litigants. Before you spend money on forms or pay someone to help you fill out those forms, contact your county’s court clerk to find out about pro se resources available to you.

Missed Deadlines or Timeline Confusion

Because there are so many different steps to filing forms, attending meetings or hearings, serving your spouse, and representing yourself at your hearing, it can be very confusing knowing exactly what needs to be done and the deadline for doing it. Knowing and understanding all the specific deadlines and requirements is a meticulous process. Add on top of that the stress and emotions involved in the divorce itself, and sometimes things don’t get done as they should. Knowing that you have to turn in this form 40 days after the first form and then call someone about attending a meeting before turning in yet another set of forms”¦it really is a painstaking process.

And while you’re waiting the mandatory time between each step and making sure each “i” is dotted and each “t” crossed, your normal day-to-day life goes on. You still have to show up to work on time each day. Grocery shopping and laundry wait for no one.

But one missed deadline could waive important rights, cause your case to be dismissed, or worse, maybe even invalidate your entire divorce. Even though your life must go on, turning your paperwork in on the right date, serving the papers to your spouse during the right timeframe, and completing each step of the process on time and complete is vital to successfully completing the divorce. Failure can have significant consequences to you, your children and your short- and long-term finances.

Not Knowing What You’re Signing

Unless you have a law degree, understanding legalese can be frustrating. A lot of the terms do not make sense. Because a DIY divorce involves such a large quantity of paperwork, reading each form thoroughly and having a clear understanding of it is essential. Adding your signature to a form that is unclear or that you don’t entirely understand can have severe consequences, particularly if you are dealing with papers addressing co-parenting, parenting time, spousal and child support, custody agreements, and division of assets.

Conclusion

If you are going to DIY, do your homework to decide if it’s the right choice for you. And if you have children or financial assets to protect, talk to a lawyer first””at the very least, they can help you explore all options.

Understand that while all of your district’s forms are available online, the court cannot provide legal advice. If you decide to seek legal advice, there are several options available to you. Many divorce law firms provide ala carte services, pre-divorce case evaluations, or have service agreements that enable them to provide ongoing counsel and guidance to separating couples, if you prefer not to hire an attorney to represent you in court. Some businesses also offer limited legal support as an added benefit to their employees.

Do yourself a big favor ”“ talk to an experienced divorce lawyer first. This is a must-do step.

In the next post of this Divorce Matters blog series, we will address the next three most common mistakes made during a DIY divorce:

  • Separation agreement challenges and issues that arise as a result
  • Confusion about all the motions, particularly as they pertain to custody or property challenges
  • Inadequate parenting plans or failure to consider future challenges

Is It Worth It? The Hidden Costs of DIY Divorce

You or your spouse has made the difficult decision to get divorced. It’s not an easy decision, and everyone arrives at the conclusion for different reasons. But nearly everyone faces the same confusion once they realize they are getting divorced: what to do next?

Do you hire an attorney? What can you expect from having an attorney represent you? What will it cost?

Colorado allows DIY (do it yourself) divorces””legally referred to as pro se proceedings””where parties can represent themselves. Is that the right course?

The answer to that question is different in each case. Some people want””and need””an attorney to navigate the complex divorce process, particularly if they have financial assets, and especially if they have children. Some people prefer to handle everything on their own. Your choice depends entirely on your unique situation. What is in your best interests at this time and in the future?

In these challenging economic times and with the multitude of resources on the Internet, a divorce attorney can seem too expensive to justify. Why pay money when you can handle the divorce on your own and pay only the filing fees?

The reality is that DIY divorces, while permissible in Colorado, are often more financially risky in the long run than the upfront costs of a lawyer.

To be sure, a DIY divorce may be an acceptable alternative in some cases””if your divorce is uncontested, you have few assets, and if there are no children involved. But regardless of your situation, understanding the divorce process, the steps involved, and the potential pitfalls that may arise will help you decide whether an attorney is the right choice for you.

The divorce process is a maze of paperwork and procedures. Each legal document you file affects your legal rights and must be completed properly. Each jurisdiction in Colorado sets its own procedures, so check with the court in your county to understand the process, obtain the proper forms, and get specific filing requirements.

DIY divorces essentially consist of filing numerous documents with the proper court. The first document filed in any divorce case is either a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage or Petition for Legal Separation, either with or without children. What comes next will depend more on your case specifics. Once you file, there are specific time frames in which you have to complete a series of additional tasks, including serving the initial pleadings on your spouse and filing a proper return of service with the Court; participating in a parenting class approved by the court, if you have children; and completing financial disclosures.

If you and your spouse have children and are able to resolve matters and have come to agreements, you will also be required to put those agreements into written forms, commonly called a Separation Agreement and Parenting Plan. Those documents will then need to be approved by the Court.

Because the only expenses involved in a DIY divorce””at first glance””are the filing fees, it may seem an ideal solution. However, if you add a house, other assets, or children to the mix, the process then involves maintenance and support negotiations, child custody and parenting plans, parental rights decisions, and financial decisions, including 401K and investment distribution. Resolving these matters fairly and properly can become difficult when emotions are high.

If you cannot resolve all matters with your spouse, you might have to go to court and have a hearing in front of a judge so the judge can enter an Order resolving your dispute. Therefore, you may end up representing yourself in court, which requires additional knowledge and skills. We’ll cover representing yourself in court and what you need to know later in this blog series. However, pro se parties are held to the same standards as attorneys, so you will need to come prepared with an understanding of the law and the Court’s procedure.

It’s important to know that the divorce process is rife with forms, deadlines, and confusing legal processes, and terms. It’s not an overstatement to say mistakes in completing the forms and managing the deadlines can result in pricey court proceedings to try to “fix” the mistakes. It is common for couples to spend more money trying to fix the mistakes that were made in their DIY divorce than they would have spent had they each hired an attorney at the beginning.

Today, there are many options for divorcing couples who need a lawyer. Many attorneys offer a la carte services, pre-divorce case evaluations, or have service agreements that enable them to provide ongoing counsel and guidance to separating couples.

Whether you “go it alone” or seek support and guidance from legal counsel, a divorce is stressful. Fully understanding your rights, what to expect in the process, and how to make decisions that are best for your particular circumstances will reduce your stress and help you move forward with confidence.

In the next few posts, we will address the most common mistakes made during a DIY divorce to help you understand the process and whether DIY is the right way for you.