Making Spirits Bright: Holiday Co-Parenting Tips for a Peaceful Christmas

The holiday season is meant to be filled with warmth, joy, and togetherness—but for divorced or separated parents, it can also bring unique challenges. Balancing family traditions, travel plans, and time with your children while managing emotions can make co-parenting during Christmas feel overwhelming. With a little preparation and a lot of communication, however, you can make the season merry and meaningful for everyone involved.

Here are some practical tips to help keep the peace and make spirits bright this Christmas.

1. Plan Ahead and Stick to the Schedule

One of the best ways to prevent holiday stress is by planning early. Review your parenting plan or custody agreement well before the holidays arrive. Many parenting plans include specific provisions for Christmas and New Year’s schedules—whether that means alternating holidays each year, splitting the day, or dividing winter break evenly.

If your agreement doesn’t specify details, talk with your co-parent as soon as possible to decide who will have the children on which days. Once the plan is set, communicate it clearly with your children so they know what to expect.

2. Be Flexible When Possible

While consistency is important, flexibility goes a long way during the holidays. Weather delays, last-minute changes, or unexpected family events can happen. Try to approach the season with a cooperative mindset—especially if it means your children get to enjoy time with both sides of their family.

If you need to adjust schedules, suggest trade-offs (for example, switching days or offering extra time later). Showing goodwill and adaptability helps foster a positive co-parenting relationship and reduces tension.

3. Focus on Your Children’s Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up in the details—who gets Christmas Eve, who buys what gift, or where the kids will wake up on Christmas morning. But remember, the holidays are about creating joy for your children.

Avoid putting them in the middle of disputes or asking them to choose between parents. Instead, reassure them that both Mom and Dad love them and want them to enjoy the season. When children feel secure and free from conflict, they’re more likely to have a truly happy holiday.

4. Keep Gift-Giving Simple and Cooperative

Gift-giving can be tricky for co-parents. To prevent overlap or competition, communicate about major presents. Agree on a spending limit or divide responsibilities—perhaps one parent handles “Santa gifts” while the other focuses on stocking stuffers or experiences.

Avoid turning gifts into a competition to “outdo” the other parent. The goal is to celebrate the season, not to score points. When both parents work together, it teaches children the true spirit of generosity and cooperation.

5. Create New Traditions

Divorce or separation can mean old family traditions no longer fit—but that doesn’t mean the magic is lost. Take this opportunity to create new traditions with your children. Maybe it’s baking cookies together, volunteering at a local shelter, or having a movie marathon on Christmas Eve.

These new rituals can help your kids associate the holidays with love, stability, and fresh beginnings.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

The holidays can stir up emotions—nostalgia, loneliness, or even guilt. Prioritize self-care so you can be your best self for your children. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family, engage in activities you enjoy, and give yourself permission to rest.

When parents are calm and centered, children feel that stability. You deserve a peaceful holiday, too.

7. Remember the Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, the goal isn’t to have a “perfect” Christmas—it’s to give your children a sense of love, security, and connection. Whether you celebrate together or apart, your cooperation and kindness will make lasting memories.

Even small acts of understanding can go a long way toward creating a peaceful co-parenting dynamic that benefits your family for years to come.

Final Thoughts

Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to show your children what love and respect look like after separation. By planning ahead, staying flexible, and focusing on what truly matters—your kids’ happiness—you can make this Christmas season peaceful, joyful, and bright for everyone. If you are facing a challenging or high-conflict divorce, call us today for dedicated legal support that puts your well-being first.

Co-Parenting During the Holiday Season

Co-parenting isn’t always the easiest to navigate during normal times of the year but when you inject the holidays into the mix it can seem downright impossible. The important thing to keep in mind is that it isn’t really about you or your ex, it’s really about your children. When you remember this, it can help you through anything the holiday season might throw your way. And with a little advanced planning with your co-parent, this holiday season can go off without a hitch!

The biggest thing to remember is that your children are the focus this holiday season. Try to make things as easy as possible for them even if that means you won’t get them on exactly the days that you want. This will require advanced planning between you and your co-parent, seeing which days make sense for whom so that your children get to visit with family and still enjoy their time. This will also require some flexibility on your part in case things don’t go exactly as planned. If you need to go with the flow the stress shouldn’t felt by your children.

You will also want to make sure that you coordinate gifts with your co-parent. Not only do you not want to repeat a gift for your child, but you also want to make sure that you both agree upon a certain level of spend. You’ll want to make sure that one co-parent doesn’t feel alienated because the other buys extravagantly. You also want to show a united front and to do so you must make sure that things off limits in one household aren’t being provided in another.

Finally, make sure that you prioritize a little bit of time for yourself. If you aren’t going to have your children the entire holiday season don’t let that time alone daunt you. Use this time for yourself, to relax and enjoy yourself. Spend some quality time with friends you haven’t seen in a while and catch up. Or you can use the time to take a relaxing bath and watch your favorite movies. Whatever helps you destress, use the time you have alone to do just that and you’ll feel rejuvenated.

Co-Parenting during Special Occasions

All too often, the idea of a shared event in a child’s life ”“ for example, a birthday or a graduation ”“ can bring anxiety to divorced parents when they realize they will have to see their exes at the occasion. No doubt you want to be present for your child’s achievement, and the child benefits from the affirmation of both parents attending. But the logistics of the visit can be harsh, especially if you do not see eye to eye with your ex.

When tensions are high between you and your ex, there are constructive ways of dealing with it that can help prevent a flare up between the two of you. One way is by creating buffers ”“ arriving early to find separate seating, for example, or inviting friends and family to dissipate the negative atmosphere. This limited contact can keep animosity out of the picture so that both you and your ex can do what you are supposed to ”“ support and recognize your child’s achievements.

If you plan on celebrating post-event and your ex will be present, do your best to maintain a low key attitude toward your ex. Light conversation and focusing on the child will help keep your issues with your ex under wraps ”“ this is definitely not a time to discuss child support or other divorce-related contentions. This is another place where having other friends and relatives present can help ”“ if you can keep your child talking, you can avoid awkwardness with your ex.

You could also consider holding celebrations separately. Graduation parties, for example, can be held on different days with different sides of the family.

No matter what, these days are not about you or your ex. They are about your child. Placing your focus on him or her is the easiest way to avoid conflict.

Divorce Matters ”“ Denver Family Law Attorneys