You might be surprised how these five basic life events can easily go awry, and when they do, you may find a divorce on the horizon.
- A new baby. How can it be, though? Aren’t babies supposed to bring a family together, not tear it apart? Yes, they are. Childbirth is one of the most beautiful moments of a parent’s life. But beyond the joy of bringing new life into the world, there are other considerations to make. Financial, emotional and physical responsibilities introduced by a new baby can lead to stress and impatience, especially in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. You and your spouse may have different expectations of how to raise the child. You may find that the person you fell in love with is not the same person after the birth of a child.
- Unemployment. If your spouse loses his or her job, that shifts the burden of finances onto you. All of the bills ”“ rent, mortgage, car payment, car insurance, health insurance, Internet, cable ”“ we’re getting stressed just listing them. And then if your spouse has trouble finding a new job, you might start thinking that it’s something they’re doing wrong ”“ maybe they’re just lazy, for example. Unemployment can rapidly create a divide between spouses that can end in divorce.
- Moving. Perhaps you just got a new job that pays incredibly well, but to take it, you and your spouse have to move somewhere else. Let’s say New York City. Suddenly, your spouse has to make the decision to uproot his or her entire life to come with you. Changing schools for the kids. Finding a new job in a highly competitive market with a higher cost of living. Losing friends. It’s a lot to take in, and it can be hard to see the greater good beyond the immediate losses.
- Meeting Family. Maybe your spouse’s parents are too involved in his or her life, and you do not get along with the in-laws. This can lead to the uncomfortable moment where someone is forced to take a side ”“ leading to an immediate rift that can cause feelings of broken trust and even contempt (the leading predictor of divorce).
- This one might come as a surprise ”“ Social Media. Those pages upon pages of your spouse’s history, that flowing list of friends that may or may not include old flames. Maybe your wife’s ex-boyfriend comments on a picture of her enjoying a beach vacation, or maybe your husband’s ex-girlfriend shares an old memory of them on a mutual friend’s page. Did you feel a little fire flare up in your chest just now? It’s easy to see how suspicion and friction can come into a relationship through social media posts.