Differences Between an Annulment and Divorce

When separation is on the horizon, couples must decide how they want to legally separate. In Colorado, married couples can obtain an annulment or divorce, though an annulment might not be available to most couples.

Requirements for an Annulment

An annulment also called a “declaration of invalidity” in Colorado, legally renders your marriage invalid. Thanks to popular culture, many people assume that an annulment is a quick and easy way to end a short marriage. Actually, annulments are available in only limited circumstances, as spelled out in the state’s statute:

  • One or both spouses lacked the required mental capacity to get married. For example, they might have been high on drugs at the time of marriage.
  • One spouse lacks the capacity to consummate the marriage and the other did not know. For example, a husband might have hidden his impotence, which is an unwelcome surprise after the marriage.
  • One spouse was not old enough to get married.
  • One or both spouses married only under duress or as a dare.
  • The marriage is void for various legal reasons (incest, bigamy).
  • One spouse procured the marriage through misrepresentation or fraud that cuts to the “heart of the marriage.”

This last one deserves more commentary because it is so vague. The statute does not spell out what cuts to the heart of a marriage, but some examples include marrying so you can get a green card to stay in the country or lying that you are on your deathbed.

If you do not meet one of the above qualifications, then you cannot obtain an annulment. Instead, you will need to divorce.

Requirements for Divorce

There are very few requirements for a divorce. Basically, you must have lived in Colorado long enough so that the state will divorce you. Currently, the residency requirement is 90 days in the state. If you haven’t been domiciled in Colorado for that long, you will need to wait.

Colorado is a no-fault divorce state, meaning you don’t need to accuse your spouse of infidelity or mental illness to get a divorce. Instead, you can claim the marriage has broken down and you can’t repair it.

Why You Might Seek an Annulment

Given how easy it is to divorce, there are rarely situations where you will want to seek an annulment. However, some couples seek an annulment for religious reasons. Depending on your faith, you might face censure or embarrassment if you get divorced. With an annulment, the marriage has never happened, so you can avoid any unpleasant consequences that you fear.

Alternately, you might have lost rights to certain benefits after getting married or remarried. By seeking an annulment, you might be able to reestablish your right to those payments or benefits, which would be lost if you only divorced.

Seek Counsel from an Experienced Colorado Divorce Attorney

If you are contemplating divorce or annulment, we are here to help. The Fort Collins divorce lawyers at Divorce Matters understand the intricacies of both annulment and divorce and can help you end your marriage as efficiently as possible. Schedule your consultation with us today by calling 720-580-6745.

When Can I Stop Paying Alimony?

In many cases, upon divorce, one spouse may be ordered to pay alimony to the other for a set period of time. To be sure, alimony is given from one spouse to another in order to balance out things financially. Ultimately, the goal of alimony is to help the lower-earning spouse move forward after divorce in a similar position as before.

Alimony laws vary from state to state. In Colorado, neither spouse has the right to automatically receive alimony. It is something that must be requested and approved by the court. Under Colorado law Section 14-10-114, C.R.S., the court looks at many factors to determine if a person is eligible to receive alimony. These factors include financial resources, required education or training, the length of the marriage, the age and health of both spouses, the standard of living the spouses enjoyed during the marriage and the income of the spouse who would be required to pay alimony.

Those married for long periods of time are more likely to receive alimony than those married for just a few years. In fact, Colorado does have guidelines in place for marriages lasting three to 20 years. For example, for a marriage lasting three years, the amount is 31 percent of the gross income of the payor for a term of 11 months.

Alimony Lengths

There are two main types of alimony that a court can award: rehabilitative and permanent. Rehabilitative alimony is given to spouses who have the ability to work, but may require a few years of training or education. In these cases, alimony would not last forever. The judge may order alimony for a set period of time, such as three to five years. This would give the spouse enough time to get back on his or her feet following the divorce.

Permanent alimony is awarded in cases where one spouse is unable to work, due to a disability or advancing age. A judge may also award alimony after a long-term marriage (20 years or longer) when a spouse makes significantly less money than the other spouse. Permanent alimony may be awarded in a lump sum or monthly payments. Typically, it ends upon the death of either spouse, or when the recipient remarries. Again, though, the judge has the discretion to end the alimony payments at a certain date. If you wish to make adjustments to the alimony payments or eliminate them altogether, you must fill out the appropriate forms.

Reach Out to Our Englewood Alimony Lawyers for Help

Alimony amounts and durations vary widely, depending on the circumstances of both spouses. Some people pay alimony for a few years; others pay for the rest of their lives.

Alimony is used to balance out financial differences between the two spouses. If you think you may be entitled to receive alimony or want to know more about the process, contact the Englewood divorce lawyers at Divorce Matters. We can assess your case and look at all the factors involved. Schedule a consultation today. Contact us at (720) 408-6595.

Mistakes to Avoid During Mediation

Not every divorce is bitter and filled with hate. Some couples actually respect each other and want to end their marriage in an amicable manner. For this reason, many people choose mediation. Mediation allows both parties to come to mutual agreements based on compromise and negotiation.

Mediation allows the couple””not a judge””to choose the terms of their divorce. This allows both parties to get what they want, to some degree, instead of a court decision making everyone unhappy. The couple works out the issues of their divorce with help from a divorce mediator. A mediator is a neutral third party who is there to answer questions and move along the process. Mediation is a healthy alternative to an expensive and lengthy court battle, especially when children are involved.

Like most processes, though, mediation needs to be done the right way. If you come into it with the wrong attitude, you’re only going to delay the process and make things worse. At this point, going to court will be your only option, and this will mean more money out of pocket. You can avoid this fate by taking note of these common mistakes.

Avoid These Common Mistakes

Mediation is supposed to be a healthy alternative to a courtroom divorce. But it’s not easy. You need to do your part to make it work. The first thing to remember is to keep an open mind. Don’t be difficult. Come ready to listen to the other spouse and the mediator.

Many couples make the mistake of coming into a mediation session ready for battle. You need to be able to communicate in an effective manner as well as negotiate and compromise. If you come into mediation ready to argue and not willing to budge on anything, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because mediation is not going to work.

You want to keep things civil. Avoid bad-mouthing the other spouse or calling him or her names. This is not a good way to settle on important issues.

If children are involved, focus on their needs, not yours. The goal is to ensure the best interests of the children are in mind. Children thrive when they have both parents in their lives. It’s selfish to think of your needs only or try to take your children away from the other parent. Try to come up with plans that benefit everyone involved.

Another common mistake is showing up to mediation unprepared. Ideally, you should have several plans or solutions in place. Don’t just show up and expect to wing it. The other spouse will likely have concerns and you will need to be prepared to address them.

Let Our Lakewood Divorce Lawyers Help You Today

Mediation can be useful in helping move a divorce along and help you achieve a favorable outcome. However, it needs to be done the right way or it can make a situation even worse.

Whether you’re considering mediation or other options for your divorce, get trusted advice from the team at Divorce Matters. Our experienced Denver mediation professionals can help you achieve the results you desire. To learn more, contact us today at (720) 408-6595.

What Makes a Gray Divorce Different?

Many people get married for the wrong reasons. Maybe they were young and wanted companionship. Perhaps they married for money and found out that they are incompatible with their spouse.

Sometimes people change as they get older. The children are gone and they are no longer content living with their spouse. Suddenly they realize that they are no longer satisfied with their marriage.

Couples who divorce at a younger age find it easier to move on. Their divorce may have been costly, but they still have 30 or 40 years to work and earn more money. This isn’t the case with couples going through gray divorces.

Gray divorces occur after a person turns 50. In the past, getting divorced after 50 was unheard of. It has now become a trend. In fact, the divorce rate for those age 50 and older has doubled since 1990.

At age 50, people have dreams of retirement. For many, those dreams have been replaced with thoughts of divorce. While divorce is no walk in the park at any age, it’s even more difficult as you approach retirement.

What to Expect

One of the biggest things that will be affected by a gray divorce is retirement. As you get older, you have less time to save up for retirement. If you are getting ready to retire, you will likely need to postpone it. If you already are retired, you may need to go back into the workforce. That’s because in a divorce, your assets will be split to fund two households instead of one.

A divorce may change your lifestyle. To make ends meet, you may need to downsize. Instead of your fancy four-bedroom home, you may need to consider a more affordable studio apartment for the time being.

Divorces are also more complicated as you get older. You’ve had much more time to accumulate assets than a couple who was married only several years. Asset division can take some time to finalize, and time equals money.

As people age and develop health problems, medical insurance becomes a primary concern. One spouse may not be able to afford it, so the other spouse agrees to pay for it. In some cases, couples live apart but stay legally married solely for health insurance benefits.

Making matters worse is that alimony can still come into play. If you were the higher wage earner, you may now be making monthly alimony payments to your ex-spouse for the rest of your life.

Reach Out to a Talented Lakewood Divorce Lawyer

Nobody expects to get divorced in their retirement years, but it’s becoming more common as people focus on their happiness and how they can live the best life possible. If you’re considering divorce in your 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond, the Denver divorce attorneys at Divorce Matters can help you through the process. It will be challenging, but we can help you make the best of the situation. Contact us at (720) 408-7469 to schedule your consultation.

Divorcing a Narcissist

We all have heard of narcissists and some of us have probably dealt with one at some time or another. Unfortunately, some of us may be married to one, or maybe in the process of divorcing one.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging. Narcissists are vain and think of themselves very highly. They are callous and do not care about the feelings of others. They are concerned primarily about themselves. They have a need for constant admiration as if they are a celebrity. They also feel entitled to everything and cannot handle criticism well.

So when you divorce the narcissist, be prepared to see your spouse portray himself or herself at the victim and you as the most horrible person in the world. While this portrayal will likely make you extremely upset, the worst thing you can do is react emotionally. Why? Because narcissists don’t care about the feelings of others. You’re just making things worse for yourself.

A narcissist will try to take the divorce all the way to court to let a judge decide. This seems like a poor strategy, but in the eyes of the narcissist, it’s better to have an unfavorable outcome when someone else has the control than to give up control unwillingly. This may not make sense at all, but that’s how the mind of a narcissist works.

Divorce Tips

So what can you do to avoid your spouse’s drama and get your divorce finalized quickly? Here are some suggestions:

  • Let your lawyer know about your narcissistic spouse. Most lawyers have experience dealing with this type of person, but if not, find someone who is. You need to have the right strategy.
  • Establish goals.What do you want to accomplish in the end? Determine what battles you want to fight, because some are small and not worth fighting.
  • Listen and ask questions. Don’t have preconceived ideas. Learn more about your spouse’s point of view and set reasonable expectations.
  • Document everything. Your spouse will tell lies. You can negate these lies by having receipts and other documents to back up your claims.
  • Be objective. Play devil’s advocate. What arguments will your spouse use against you to make you look like the bad guy? Think ahead so your lawyer can help you avoid hurting your case.
  • Be reasonable. Your spouse wants you to enrage you. Don’t let him or her do it. Don’t think with your feelings. Use law and facts to create an argument that is logical and reasonable.

Contact a Denver Divorce Attorney Today

Being married to a narcissist can be frustrating, but divorcing one can be even worse. Your spouse will try to manipulate you and refuse to settle outside of court. He or she will make your divorce a nightmare. Get help by contacting the family law professionals at Divorce Matters. We can help create an agreement that will allow you to settle outside of court without the drama. Request a consultation today by contacting Divorce Matters online or by calling (720) 463-1232.

Ways to Unwind After Divorce

After a divorce it is important not to forget to take care of yourself and make sure that you are doing things to help propel you into your new future. Here are a few quick and easy ways you can indulge yourself just a little bit:

  • Take a day trip somewhere on your own
  • Reconnect with your friends and family
  • Buy a little something you’ve always wanted (nothing too crazy!)
  • Take yourself to the spa
  • Start working out, it reduces anxiety and fights depression
  • Try something new, whether it is a hair cut, a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or that play you always wanted to go see